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godessalthena (profile) wrote,
on 8-12-2008 at 10:23am
i really wish i didn't exist right now..

nothing feels right..
no one feels right..

everything is wrong and i feel so mad.
and angry..
confused..

i just want to scream and be away from all the awfulness in the world.
and all the horrible things that make me hate myself..
and the people who make me hate myself.

i really, really just hate myself right now.
and i don't really have anyone to talk to.
so i'm sol until i stop hating myself and go back to being happy.

suck city folks.
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rorin

I'm sorry I doubted you Amelia., 08-12-08 2:02pm

You have changed. And sometimes it's hard for me to know whether you'd change more.
I'm not there and I'm sorry I'm not there for you... especially right now. I want to be.

Have you thought about moving back to Spokane?

(reply to this)

godessalthena

Re: I'm sorry I doubted you Amelia., 08-13-08 1:11pm

I have thought about it. And I really want to. But there's too much here that I can't leave because.. idk.. I have a responsiblity to my friends.

And if I moved I would have no money to move out with at the end of september.. And I have no one to take care of my cat.. And I just..

I'm just making excuses.

I have changed a lot. and I hate who I am now more than I hate who I was. It really sucks. But at least now I don't ever think, so I don't realize how shitty of a person i've really become.

(reply to comment)

yamiyugi

08-14-08 5:19am

I love you
even though you suck :P
Jk lol :3

(reply to this)