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godessalthena (profile) wrote,
on 8-26-2009 at 9:04pm
my mom called me back :) that made me happy.

i watched the top 100 songs of the 80's today. those were better days for music. i like all the optimistic songs. which is kinda funny since i'm so pessimistic it hurts.

i bounce around a lot in my moods. and everyday i tell myself i'm going to call one of these doctors and ask him to give me some medicine and refer me to a psychologist who i can acutally relate to.. i'm so tired of being negative all the time.. but the sad thing is i've been sooooo negative for so long now that i honestly can't be optimistic. i find every reason to see any situation as negative, even if its irrational.

and the people i'm with.. hate it. and don't want to enable and nurture this flaw.. but it just makes me feel so alone and bad because i have this problem. its like.. a horrible loop of negativity.

i just wish i wasn't so messed up. its embarrassing. and it makes me feel like one of the stupid people who just pretend for attention.

:/
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aerii

08-27-09 1:05am

Well, the first step is always realizing what is wrong.

You can do it kid, you just have to find the right people and mindset to put you in a good place.
It's hard sometimes, but one day it will hit you and you'll be all like, "What!?".

I love you mamelia.

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godessalthena

Re: , 08-27-09 5:04pm

<3 i love you too zipper

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