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| catatonicsean (profile) wrote, on 4-11-2014 at 4:28pm | |
| Current mood: confused |
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| My girlfriend and I broke up this morning, and this afternoon I suppose we got back together on limited conditions (?). No idea what to make of this, other than I smoked meth (yes, yes, I know...no good) and she found out because I had no clue how to broach the subject to her. People tend to mention things like this, and I hoped I'd have had the balls to tell her myself before someone else did. Not the case. Smoked meth with our neighbor, no less, and she has the baby, and so on. I don't make wise decisions. Lot's of rotten awfulness because I'm a weak person accustomed to substance abuse with strangers, and an innate inability to say "no." Not that I've smoked meth before, but I've had similiar experiences concerning use of other drugs, and it just became commonplace to get loaded on random substances with people I don't know. But...now I'm technically a parent, and decisions like that are not the sort that Good Parents make. My mother is disgusted with me, and I imagine the rest of the world is, in turn. If she let's me, I'll give up everything (including smoking cigs, Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ and all the Heathen gods, I mean it). I love her and her son dearly, and my existence means nothing without them. Why am I such a piece of human refuse? |
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godessalthena | 04-11-14 5:13pm Because self sabotage becomes a habit when you do it long enough. |
catatonicsean | Re: , 04-18-14 3:18am No matter....my ladylove and I have reconciled, and I will go out of my way to not fuck up again.
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