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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 10-23-2014 at 10:37am | |
| canceled my hair cut yesterday since it was it was my last opportunity to be alone before Mike gets here. I'm already exhausted just thinking about all the social interaction I'll be having while he's here. then I think about the rest of my life, and wonder if maybe I should try to be more social or risk regretting these years as wasted since I'm young and free currently. and then I think "fuck it" and remain antisocial, because a lot of the time being alone is just so fantastic. I think the part I love the most is nobody expects me to talk. it's just so nice, not feeling pressured to participate in a conversation. not needing to think of something interesting or relevant to say. not worrying whether I'm being boring or sounding stupid or something. I really hate talking. I like listening. hate talking. I'm not even sure why I hate it so much. I haven't had a negative experience involving me talking in quite a while, so what makes me dread it so much? no clue. but here's to hoping someday it goes away! |
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zuleika | 10-23-14 5:20pm I'm with you on this. I am a loner. I can talk and hold my own in a conversation, but no one really listens anyway. They wait for the opportunity to pipe up and override what you are saying to talk about themselves. I can get more and better entertainment from my computer than I can from a whole room full of people. |
godessalthena | Re: , 10-23-14 10:39pm that is exactly the feeling!! like nothing I say is important to them and I wonder why I even keep bothering. but sometimes I get a little lonely, and I don't like seeing people I love hurt that I don't care haha |
goodbye | 10-24-14 12:31am Whenever I speak, every single time, I feel like I sound stupid. Especially when it's one-on-one with a friend. I get the pressure of talking as well... you want to fill the silence between you and the other person but you feel like what you say isn't good enough. You feel judged. |