::
2005 17 November :: 1.42 pm
yeah okay cool people are so important. i must know everything about "them"
f ucking dumb.
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 15 November :: 11.40 pm
ugh
i want to go back
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 15 November :: 1.40 pm
Gunnie, i think we're doing a page in yearbook about online journals and stuff and i was wondering if i can interview you sometime. maybe we could also incorporate some hanging out time into that. cooooooool.
let me know buddy
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 15 November :: 7.51 am
So i kinda forgot about how i said you wouldn't see me ever again so look stupid me i forgot to run away. i would totally go right now but i have to babysit after school anyway which is totally stupid.
I don't know if i'll be able to take anymore of life.
what do you have to offer because i dont know if i want it.
F uck this stupid place and everything else. i think i want out k.
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 14 November :: 3.35 pm
number one: I definetely totally and completely love Roman and
number two: I DEF TOTALLY HATE SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL FUCKING HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mugggggggggggggawereereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee does anyone love me? because i'm running away and living with roman forever and you wont ever see me again so say goodbye loves.
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 9 November :: 4.17 pm
why do you have to be such a jerk about nothing? i do a lot okay.
why do we both have to be jerks like all the fricken time?
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 9 November :: 8.31 am
You took away the one thing I felt okay at. You took everything I thought I'd earned. Obviously none of it mattered, but it mattered to me. You're a biased pig and I hope you regret it. That's why I'm not there. And you act like everything is okay. It's not . You're an idiot.
I hate being here. This year of school is entirely pointless to me. There is probably one class I feel might be beneficial to me. The rest are just junk to fill up my schedule. And not that they are easy classes, they aren't. But they sure are junk. They are complete crap. The teacher has no idea what they are talking about and it is a total waste of my time. I hate being taught by someone who you know is dumber than you in certain areas. That should never be a teacher. Go back to college or something because I don't want to waste my time listening to your babble. Like you know anything. You don't. I could easily learn more by just reading the book without ever having to see your face or hear your pointless voice. I am counting down the days until I am out of here. I can't wait. And it's not even like that. I just want to feel like I'm not wasting my time.
I want to go with you. This place is ridiculous.
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 8 November :: 8.37 am
i am so happy. my GPA has gone up a lot and also H hasn't even changed my fricken grade yet so things will be even better. i got an A on my last chemistry test and yeah well that makes me super happy. i hate school but i'm not sucking at it.
score.
oh and last night was so fun and great. LOOOOOVE YOU
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 8 November :: 8.31 am
I decided I'm going to do everything in my power. I talked to Jalyn and she's right. I need to do what I need to do. I don't think I'll regret it.
I hate being here. I want to be with you.
scholarships....?
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 7 November :: 1.54 pm
just a little word to the unwise!!!
shut up!
because you obviously don't know anything. jerk.
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 4 November :: 4.04 pm
anything else that can make me feel more miserable? come on fucking bring it you are so stupid seriously like i wish i could wish you away and you definetely. i dont kno w
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 4 November :: 3.58 pm
i have had the worst day ever god i've been bawling my eyes out for an hour now and earlier today too god fucking stupid ass shit and i am not going to school anymore i fucking refuse. it is so pointless and stupid. i haven't had this bad of a day since roman and i broke up for 4 days in the summer.
seriously i've never felt so completely miserable and FUCKING useless. there's fuckign nothing anymore and if a cliff suddenly appeared in cedar i'd be the first one jumping off it
i fucking can't take it anymore
fucking use some fucking common senese
and i haTEHALEK J HAWELKTJLKAWEJTLK J HATEE HATEH AH AETHEHAHATE you . god dammita
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 4 November :: 10.07 am
today is such a bad day. why'd i ever believe i could be any better than what i am.
faslkdfj that
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 4 November :: 7.01 am
i'm sooooo scared
bet you'd never guess what i'm scared about.
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 3 November :: 10.27 pm
TEN YEARS AGO I... seven and chubby and even more annoying then i am now.
FIVE YEARS AGO I WAS: 12... and finally getting not as fat and into stuff......yeah
ONE YEAR AGO I WAS: with roman...he had moved out for us so we could see each other more.
YESTERDAY I WAS: baby sitting and then went to bed at 7:30
FIVE SNACKS I ENJOY:
1. ice cream
2. chocolate
3. animal crackers
4. umm
5. oreos
FIVE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO:
1. ben folds the luckiest
2. third eye blind motorcycle drive by
3. kelly clarkson anytime
4. you know
5. yeah that one
FIVE THINGS I WOULD DO WITH 100 MILLION DOLLARS:
1. be SO much less worried about my future
2. buy a nice house
3. marry
4. give my kids wonderful lives
5. not go to work probably
FIVE BAD HABITS:
1. worrying
2. asking too many questions apparently
3. being easily angered or annoyed
4. swearing
5. procrastinating
FIVE BIGGEST JOYS:
1. roman
2. jess
3. sleep
4. feeling safe
5.feeling like i look good/fine
FIVE FAVORITE TOYS:
1. piano?
2.
3.
4.
5.
FIVE PLACES I WOULD RUN AWAY TO:
1. ROMAN
FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR:
1. 80's shit
2. leggings
3. i udno
TEN FAVORITE TV SHOWS:
1. family guy?
2.
3. home movies?
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
FIVE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I WOULD DATE:
1. i really dont watch tv so i duno
2.
3.
4.
5.
FIVE PET PEEVES:
1.MEAN people
2. bad grammer
3. when i must listen or follow orders or be taught by people are dumber than myself.
4. a COLLEGE BOY ...eta;fksdj
5. when people trreat their waitress i.e. me , like crap
fucekrs roni
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 3 November :: 10.11 pm
:: Mood: tiredish.
mmmmrrrrehhhhhhhh
baby doesn't get out of work until 2 which means i am sitting here doing nothing.
i finally joined the world and got a cell phone. hoooooooray~!
i got to work today yay so i got some money. i kept making good tips i was so happy.
i think i did really good on my chem test yesterday which makes me so happy.
i love roman and jess and thats about it frankly.
i couldn't stop thinking about your stupid ass today. not your butt. but you. because you are a butt and i dont know why you kept popping in my head but get out you stupid stupid nasty disgusting girl. go away.
i'm watching south park.
andndndnndndnd i'm finally seeing roman on saturday
Will anyone watch Elvis, my kitty, over Christmas break? Please. he needs a babysitter.
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 30 October :: 10.41 pm
:: Music: Ben to the Folds
"i wish it was last september where we could lose ourselves in clouds everyday"
no i dont!
" 'If you really loved me,' she said. "I wouldn't have to be so mean.' He likes to remember when. Such a shame to ruin this bright, lazy, sunny day. The cruelest lies are often told without a word. The kindest truths are often spoke and never heard. She said 'You've been pushing me like I was a sore tooth. You can't respect me but I've done so much for you.' And he said 'Well I hate that's it come to this. But baby I was doing fine. How do you think that I survived the other 25 before you?' The end is growing near. And we're treading water now and holding back our tears..."
I am unprepared and I just want a break. I don't know what I can do or how I will do it. I am so scared and worried.
I'm waiting up for you again, though.
TOTALLY UNRELATED: I had a lot of fun with Stef. She has an awesome apartment and a great catch of a guy. I hope they get married soon. I love Ben Folds and I hope that me and Stef hang out again soon because that was fun and we could party.
I want to just go away. But with you.
ABABABABLK Dont you hate when people just stop talking to you online...? :0( I do.
Also, a mullet-lady made me cry at work yesterday. Bitch.
Went to Roman's today. It was a perfect and beautiful sunny day. I love him.
But somebody help me straighten out some things please.
With a little Love ,
Jess
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 27 October :: 10.16 pm
im gonna fucking throw up. i am freaking out so bad. so fucking bad. its not even fucking fair.
(ONE)
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 27 October :: 9.46 pm
i totally forgot to mention- i'm going to see the best fucking entertainer tomorrow night.
ben folds here i come
for the THIRD TIME!! woooooo!
4 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 27 October :: 8.12 pm
god i fucking swear i can't wait till i get to move out of here. there's no reason to be here. no fucking point and i can't wait until i'm gone and never see any of you assholes again.
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 27 October :: 3.13 pm
iugggggggghhhhhh! I hate school and i can't wait to be out of here. people are so ridiculous and i can't deal with them at all anymore. EVER
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 22 October :: 2.44 pm
UGGGGGGGGH
EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG TODAY!!
WAKE UP!!!
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 19 October :: 10.03 pm
i need you.
i am sad.
:0(
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 17 October :: 10.25 pm
god does anyone know where i can just get a stupid fricken timer that counts down days for you woohu . FOR SOME REASON I'M HAVING WAY TOO MUCH TROUBLE WITH THAT.
fucking STUPID ASS FUCKING DAY.
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 15 October :: 11.30 pm
i feel so ........ like... like a major failure. I guess we did really bad today at the competition and i wasn't even worried about it at all and didn't even care if we got a bad score (that doesn't mean i didn't try though, becuase i did try to do well) but then when i hear we did bad, wow it just makes me feel really bad. i feel like such a failure but hey when don't i ? I really think if i was a neonatel nurse and i help a baby return to health, i will feel realy accomplished. i think it's what i really want.
i hate being left out and i hate not having fun with everyone else. i hate that feeling. andi hate being away from roman when everyone else can just walk down the hall if they want to see him. i have to drive 40 minutes.
i really need to brush my teeth and stop getting fat and eating ice cream.
seriously, when do I get to have some fun? Be crazy? anything....?
oh i almost forgot about the crazy lady and her fricken HOOLA-HOOP rings. which are oinion rings. she orders a full order of rings. then tells me i can send them back to the kitchen and take them off the table and her bill. i ask whats wrong and she yellls about how it's not a "HEAPING PLATTER of HOOLA HOOP rings" and how Jerry wrote her an email about how it's a HEAPING PLATTER and how a basket is NOT a platter. Well guess what lady?! Jerry knows nothing about the food or anything else. And i dont her that. "jerry doesn't know what he's talking about" She was a bitch so i didnd't even care. They left me 2 bucks. Whatever bitches. Who writes a restaraunt a freaking email asking about their oinion rings anyway?! freak. UGH.
I am not in a good mood. I wanna go cry or something. i'm freezing too. time for an electric blanket and some sappy music.
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 13 October :: 7.04 pm
oh my gosh so the one day i'm scheduled during the wekk they send me home and then now i realized i could have gotten to the FAFSA meeting. wow i was actually in a good mood and now. wow. aa;lkfjas;lkf grrrrrrr.
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 12 October :: 9.32 pm
This entry is not goign to make any sense. but i am going insane. i dont have to prove my love to anyone but roman. and i mean no one else needs to see anything. that's as far as i'm going to get into that. i am going crazy. college i dont even know what i want to do or antyhing anymore. i feel like i've basically been told i should not go into nursing. my brain is so crazy i can't even type a whole sentance without backspacing 8 times. i feel like i'm running around with no stopping. i'm constantly forgetting about things. i feel like the only time i get i need to scoop up for myself. i am broke and i dont know what to do. i need to enroll for college for duel enrolling and i dont know what class to take. i need to take the freakin act's . i need to apply for fafsa.
i have so much to do but i dont know where to begin. i want to just lie down and sleep with you and never get up.
and i can't shake the thought and i want it.
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 9 October :: 11.10 pm
wow what a way to ruin a perfect weekend. thanks a lot guys . Guess the tally is down to one now. Whatever, i'll deal with that.
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 9 October :: 3.22 pm
last night was so fun. the most fun i'd had at a dance. and the before and after of course. i love roman and yay.
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
::
2005 4 October :: 8.17 pm
i LOVE you roman!
::Yessa..:: |
|