::
2021 1 March :: 10.17pm
:: Music: Blues Traveler- Hook
"I wanna bust all your balloons/ I wanna burn all your cities to the ground..."
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I'll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks
Because the Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also of rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute diddys
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all your cities to the ground
I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day. Hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because
The Hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The Hoooooook
On that you can rely
Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth/ (And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you...
Can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Woah, Kenny!
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Yes I flew my shorty from Florida to Hollywood
Thought some gold shit looked big on me
Got some goals, it's a list on me
Yeah lil' bitch, I'm rich, I fuckin' roll you
This strippers and the stroll playin' tricks on me
The stones hittin' different
You're supposed to be pissed at me (No!)
They from Tiffany (Please)
Keep my name out your mouth like some wisdom teeth
(And you wonder why) Why I'm not there with you
(I ain't answer my phone in so long)
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
Can you break bread with me?
And yes I moved lil' shawty from 'round me
She been all in my business as of late
I got rich so goddamn fast, they want this bread, can't catch a break
And yes I know you're tired of hatin'
I'm tired of staring at your face
And if a bitch retaliate we can go tit for tat today
That's on my momma, that's on Big Sean, that's on Lil' A from FLA
Out here in L.A. trying to make shit shake, tryna wrap this case, ho
That's a whole 120k to the magistrate, for my parent's sake
And you still talking about sharing cake
Shut the fuck up
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Why you not here with me?
Can you break bread with me?
Why you switch phone numbers like clothes?
Why you can't answer me? (Yeah)
'Cause I got more coming
Can you break bread with me?
Break break bread with me (Okay)
Break break, can you break bread with me?
Break bread with me
::
2021 9 February :: 10.50pm
:: Music: The Backseat Lovers- Kilby Girl
She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do...
We're both throwing smoke into the night
It's raining, I suppose you need a ride
She said I've got nothing to do and neither do you
There's a place down the road where we can waste the whole afternoon
I overheard she was 19
She's got a fake ID and a nose ring
Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do
And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding
She's just playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do
Feels like a night to carry a tune
I've been carrying yours since you've wrecked my room
And I've got nothing to do and neither do you
So let's chase after love and waste away the whole afternoon
I overheard that she was 19 with a fake ID and a nose ring
Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do
And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding
She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do
::
2020 30 October :: 8.40pm
:: Music: Eminem- Godzilla
"This is just the song to go ballistic on/ You just pulled a pistol on the guy with the missile launcher..."
I can swallow a bottle of alcohol and I'll feel like Godzilla
Better hit the deck like the card dealer
My whole squad's in here, walking around the party
A cross between a zombie apocalypse and big Bobby "The
Brain" Heenan which is probably the
Same reason I wrestle with mania
Shady's in this bitch, I'm posse'd up
Consider it to cross me a costly mistake
If they sleepin' on me, the hoes better get insomnia
Adhd, Hydroxycut
Pass the Courvoisi' (ayy, ayy)
In AA with an AK, melee, finna set it like a playdate
Better vacate, retreat like a vacay, mayday (ayy)
This beat is cray-cray, Ray J, H-A-H-A-H-A
Laughing all the way to the bank, I spray flames
They cannot tame or placate the
Monster (ayy)
You get in my way, I'ma feed you to the monster (yeah)
I'm normal during the day, but at night, turn to a monster (yeah)
When the moon shines like Ice Road Truckers
I look like a villain outta those blockbusters
Godzilla, fire spitter, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
Fire, Godzilla, fire, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
I'm just a product of Slick Rick and Onyx, told 'em, "Lick the balls"
Had 'em just appalled at so many things that pissed 'em off
It's impossible to list 'em all
And in the midst of all this
I'm in a mental hospital with a crystal ball
Tryna see, will I still be like this tomorrow?
Risperdal, voices whisper
My fist is balled back up against the wall, pencil drawn
This is just the song to go ballistic on
You just pulled a pistol on the guy with the missile launcher
I'm just a Loch Ness, the mythological
Quick to tell a bitch screw off like a fifth of Vodka
When you twist the top of the bottle, I'm a
Monster (ayy)
You get in my way, I'ma feed you to the monster (yeah)
I'm normal during the day, but at night, turn to a monster (yeah)
When the moon shines like Ice Road Truckers
I look like a villain outta those blockbusters
Godzilla, fire spitter, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
Fire, Godzilla, fire, monster
Blood on the dance floor, and on the Louis V carpet
If you never gave a damn, raise your hand
'Cause I'm about to set trip, vacation plans
I'm on point like my index is, so all you will ever get is
The motherfuckin' finger (finger), prostate exam ('xam)
How can I have all these fans and perspire?
Like a liar's pants, I'm on fire
And I got no plans to retire and I'm still the man you admire
These chicks are spazzin' out, I only get more handsome and flier
I got 'em passin' out like what you do when you hand someone flyers
And what goes around comes around just like the blades on a chainsaw
'Cause I caught the flap of my dollar stack right off the bat like a baseball
Like Kid Ink, bitch, I got them racks with so much ease that they call me Diddy
'Cause I make bands and I call getting cheese a cakewalk (cheesecake) yeah
Bitch, I'm a player, I'm too motherfuckin' stingy for Cher
Won't even lend you an ear, ain't even pretending to care
But I tell a bitch I'll marry her if she'll bury her
Face on my genital area, the original Richard Ramirez
Christian Rivera, 'cause my lyrics never sit well
So they wanna give me the chair
Like a paraplegic, and it's scary, call it Harry Caray
'Cause every Tom and Dick and Harry carry a Merriam motherfuckin' dictionary
Got 'em swearing up and down, they can't spit, this shit's hilarious
It's time to put these bitches in the obituary column
We wouldn't see eye to eye with a staring problem
Get the shaft like a steering column (monster)
Trigger happy, pack heat, but it's black ink
Evil half of the Bad Meets Evil
That means take a back seat
Take it back to Fat Petes with a maxi, single
Look at my rap sheet, what attracts these people
Is my gangster, bitch, like Apache with a catchy jingle
I stack chips, you barely got a half-eaten Cheeto
Fill 'em with the venom and eliminate 'em
Other words, I Minute Maid 'em
I don't wanna hurt 'em, but I did 'em in a fit of rage
I'm murderin' again, nobody will evade him
Finna kill 'em and dump all the fuckin' bodies in the lake
Obliterating everything, incinerate and renegade 'em
And I make anybody who want it with the pen afraid
But don't nobody want it, but they're gonna get it anyway
'Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like I'm mentally ill
I'm Atilla, kill or be killed, I'm a killer bee, the vanilla gorilla
You're bringin' the killer within me out of me
You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who went in me
Or being the recievin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be
Every bit of me is the epitome of a spitter
When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck
Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me
A hunnid percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me
I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you bitch, I'm unfadable
You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blowin' up like an inflatable
I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable
I'm on the toilet bowl, I got a trailer full of money and I'm paid in full
I'm not afraid to pull the
Man, stop
Look what I'm plannin', haha
They're playing love songs on the radio tonight. I can't relate to that right now.
I live in a hotel, I must keep writing
If I'm to be better than everyone else
Like figure skating, like asphyxiating
On your own seeping fumes, you're just waiting
Living in a hotel, I'm not traveling
Between two points, in midair I'm levitating
Above the earth, beneath the sky, with eyes like static
In my three feet from bed to wall sleeps a genius
Leave me here to my devices
The call could come at any time
They're playing love songs on the radio tonight
I can't relate to that right now
Note to self, no one cares, your voice is average
In worried piles I typed for miles, you just stood there
I will begin, I will put right this morning terror
I have been kissed between the ears with human error
Leave me here to my devices
I need a word to change my life
I've tied my ankles to the table legs with wire
He can't write so much as type
Leave me here to my devices
I can't think with all this noise
They're playing love songs on your radio tonight
I don't get those songs on mine
You keep fucking up my life
You keep fucking up my life
You keep fucking up my life
You keep fucking up my life
Love how you disappear, if I need you
You're sleeping, I get that, I want you to know that I try
To figure out, where I'm going
And where I'm sleeping, and how much emotion is showing
And one can only imagine the things that you think of
I want to see the country, without goodbyes
But I can't afford that, so fuck my life
And all these guessing games
And they all just feel the same, and I'm sorry
When did I leave the seventh grade?
You feel sick, I'm tired, I don't even know what to say
My words can't make my problems go away
You say I lose things, that I can't find
There's no more covers, left to hide in
You say I'm lazy, incompetent, I'm always too tired to try
Everyone's stuck, living their "skewed up version of life"
And now I have a job, and Bobby's living in Tallahassee
I wish I had tried more
And all these guessing games
And they all just feel the same, and I'm sorry
When did I stop thinking this way?
I feel sick, I'm tired, I don't even know what to say
Your words can't make my problems go away
And all these guessing games
And they all just feel the same, and I'm sorry
When do I stop feeling this way?
I feel sick, you're tired, we don't even know what to say
My words can't make my problems go away
Well I'll sit here and convince myself it's true.
If you keep on telling your friends that we're through.
I've got nothing here but loneliness
Holes in walls and bleeding fists.
My head is pounding like a pillow, like a big black song.
Well my friends and I try to tell me you're gone.
Won't listen to myself or anyone.
You got on a plane and off you went.
You're never coming back again.
I'm trying to convince myself it's true.
Convincing myself
I'll be just fine without you. [x3]
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be here telling myself it's true.
I sit here trying to convince myself it's true.
But you keep on pretending you have no clue.
I'd kill for you and eat the flesh.
Give you the heart and burn the rest.
A thousand miles ain't shit to walk if I'm walking to hold you but
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be here telling myself
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
I'll be just fine without you
::
2019 4 October :: 11.50pm
:: Music: Lizzo- Truth Hurts
"I don't play tag, bitch, I been it... We don't fuck with lies, we don't do goodbyes..."
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Woo
I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that bitch
Even when I'm crying crazy
Yeah, I got boy problems, that's the human in me
Bling bling, then I solve 'em, that's the goddess in me
You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal
Help you with your career just a little
You're 'posed to hold me down, but you're holding me back
And that's the sound of me not calling you back
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi dom bi dum bum bay
You tried to break my heart?
Oh, that breaks my heart
That you thought you ever had it
No, you ain't from the start
Hey, I'm glad you're back with your bitch
I mean who would wanna hide this?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick
I put the sing in single
Ain't worried 'bout a ring on my finger
So you can tell your friend, "shoot your shot" when you see 'em
It's OK, he already in my DMs
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay
I'ma hit you back in a minute
I don't play tag, bitch, I been it
We don't fuck with lies, we don't do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
I'ma hit you back in a minute
I don't play tag, bitch, I been it
We don't fuck with lies, we don't do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay
::
2019 4 October :: 9.27pm
:: Music: Murder City Devils
So carve it in rock
I tears of prayer
Everyone knows
What it's called
Does a steamer help
I am I say
I am I cry
Inoculated safe
In my pale disguise
I too have dreams
They sometimes arise
I only have one thing to say
My only call
So carve it in rock
And let it be known
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
It's all I have to say
It's my only hope
It's the whole of my truth
It's the truth worth to be told
Might I tell
And fortunes unfold
May I be instead
Most of all
So carve it in rock
And let it be known
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
Here stands the asshole
Who dreamed of shitting gold
In which I am joined by Eliot. He wants to start a 90s cover band, but neither of us sing. The set list is epic ... if we can ever learn all the songs. Or find a vocalist.
Wowsers....
Crazy to think, I'm now 32 years old. I've toured with my idol doing comedy shows. I've released a comedy album. I was a celebrity bodyguard. I have a wonderful career in insurance when I'm not doing comedy. I was a professional paranormal hunter for almost a decade, and visited some of the most haunted places in America.
I guess what I'm getting at is... Crazy the way life has gone since I last used this. On my prior journal entry, I would not have been able to guess one of the above things would happen in my life. Crazy to think.
Grab me by the throat. Your hands are freezing cold
And fingernails tear nice and slow. You know
I'm not afraid of all the things you think about
When you're alone swallowing your day
Hold on tight. Just hold on tight
Cataclysmic prose. Eye sockets will erode
When days to weeks to months seem half full
Yet I can't impose with another wilted rose
You'll feel this when you see how I've grown
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in
It's 2:30 AM. Years become layers of skin
I've shed them all but I'm not done yet
Heavy hearts my friends, come sing in unison
And drag me out of this hole I'm in
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in
Are you breathing?
Stay broken
I've earned my bitterness
My legs are planted firm in transit-stance
For this dead romance
Grab me by the throat. Your hands are freezing cold
And fingernails tear nice and slow. You know
I'm not afraid of all the things you think about
When you're alone swallowing your whole...
We are broken men
Who shouldn't be saved just yet
Keep breathing. Stay broken
Our blood's boiled thin
You can taste it with every breath taken in
I happened across an old recording of this drum pattern I'd written for basement audio lab. It was a crappy demo version consisting of me tapping on my legs and kicking the mic stand. It was virtually unlistenable, with a horrendous click track going in the background. I was surprised to find the pattern came much more naturally to me this time around, and the click was not necessary. I just wanted to make a better recording of the part for future reference. I don't know what prog rock band I'm going to join someday that will have a need for a part in 7/8 time, but you never know. When the time comes, I guess I'll have this to contribute.
Doing fills in 7 is hard. It's not a natural thing to feel when you were raised on groups of 2 and 4. Most people understand 3, I guess. Waltzes and such. Sometimes you'll hear radio stuff in 6 (which is really just 2 groups of 3, or 3 groups of 2, depending). 5 and 7 are a lot trickier, since you're mashing a 2 and a 3, or a 4 and a 3, or 2 twos and a 3 together at once. Makes it harder to find the downbeat. Actually, what I really like to do is carry it over 2 measures, then the "down" beat becomes the "up" beat for the second measure, before it turns back around again.
I went to the KCCC meeting tonight
They were having elections. I am now officially Trustee #3 on the Board of Directors. Which is mostly an honorary title, but it was nice of them to include me.
I decided to celebrate at a place down the road ... with a poke bowl:
After much deliberation, names were left un-bleeped. If we talk about you and you want your name bleeped, please forward your bleeping requests to: complaints@spud.com
