::
2004 21 December :: 10.58 pm
:: Mood: Stressed, tired, head-achy
Ze omg ._. Just what one needs during exams week
Kandles500: I don't think me and naomi are friends anymore
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Heh, after what you said about all three of us, I doubt I want to be friends with you, too
Kandles500: well, you ca't forget that naomi and jen said the same things whether or not she decided to tell you that
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I guess I could understand, the posse is allowed to have little spats, even though they were totally uncalled for in the first place. But you, Amanda, have sunk to resorting to telling OTHER people this
Kandles500: these other people don't like you guys and say the same things, so if I agree with them how is that telling them otherwise? and you didn't even want me to be part of the "posse" at the very beginning you didn't like me and I still don't think you do. I have many examples of why I think this, in fact for all the things I've said I have proof.
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mhmm, why wouldn't I want you to be part of the Posse? Quite frankly, I loved the thought of new members. Maybe you thought I didn't want you because, at the time, I was quite intimidated by your presence, but not for ONE SECOND after I got to know you did I doubt you, Amanda.
Kandles500: you never seemed to accept me. it seemed like to be part of the group a
Kandles500: I had to ask your permission
Kandles500: You are the leader of the posse emily
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I think it's co-owned
Kandles500: Every decision is left up to you eventually you have the final say even if you ask and consult other people
Kandles500: and it shouldn't be owned at all, we should all just be friends, not some sort of government or social heirachy
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I don't believe in a government posse, it is all just friends. In a group. Called the posse because that means a group of friends. I never thought I was the leader and maybe a few decisions were left up to me because they involved my house or something of the sort, but I didn't believe we were some organization.
Kandles500: that's how I felt, everyone in the posse looked to you for almost everything invluding the admittance of a new member, and I never really felt accepted by you as I said before, you seemed to be suspicious of me and very judgemental
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: At first I was. I'm very suseptible to taunting and bullies scared me. You silent reputation preceded you and it scared me easily, not to mention you looked like you kicked my ass if I ever said something a bit wrong, but people's opinions change, especially after they learn more about said being. It was very judgemental, but could you not see it from my eyes if a girl of your strength started hanging around you? I didn't even know your name for a while.
Kandles500: but I as in the same position as you. easily prone to taunting. my whole life I was made fun of for how I looked, that's probably why I had a reputation, because after a while I gave in to the bullies and became one myself only to protect myself never to purposely hurt anyone, and I was intimidated by you, everyone liked you you had such great charisma.
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Ugh, I was a stupid-face.
Kandles500: you see emily, I like you and I want to be friends with you, it's just little squirmishes that I don't tell you that bother me that bring us to this, I still want to be friends with you I just want you to know how I feel about some of the things you do
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I am exactly the same, and I don't really appreciate being called a bitch and a poser. You see, calling Naomi and I such things might score you points with the older crowd, but not with the one you had before them. Unfortunately, this mishap has really hurt my feelings, for I thought you would atleast stand up for me, but apparentally you didn't. Now, I don't know if you were talking about Jade as well, if you were, that's REALLLY stupid, but whatever.. That's what you do, apparentally.
Kandles500: but I thought being mad at you would make the whole posse mad at me, so I didn't mention it
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: You should of just told me you didn't like me instead of putting me through the he-says-she-says
Kandles500: NO! I never frickin called you or jade a poser and a bitch. I called naomi a poser and a bitch to someone who already thought that. But emily sometimes people don't handle confrontations well. I do like you, though sometimes you make me mad. I still want to be your friend and please make sure you've heard both sides of the story before you start accusing people
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I beg of you, fill me in on how Naomi is a poser?
Kandles500: I don't know if yopu'll understand and I doubt you'll agree
but here goes
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mmkay
Kandles500: last year she didn't wear any black or chains or skulls or anything like that, things I will unfortunately have to label as gothic, but then suddenly, she wore black and chains and skulls and started being pouty all the time and tried to be friend s with more gothic people, liking only gothic guys when she used to like people like bill. she just changed from being naomi, who was an individual to being some goth girl that I don't think I know. just what she used to like and act like and be like to someone
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I see.
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mayve she just thought it was time for a self-make-over?
Kandles500: I don't even know, and I know people change but hse did a whole personality adjustment that just isn't the kind of make-over you're talking about. cuz at home she's still like she used to be but at school she's completely different
Kandles500: It's like she only acts like that to impress people or to fit in
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Maybe she is trying to fit in?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Who isn't?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I'm sure you really only agreed with the older people to fit in, right?
Kandles500: my mom tells me that I'm too upfront with people, always asking them how they feel about me and confronting them about issues, so I stopped because I didn't want to push them away, but I felt like it made the friendship weaker.
Kandles500: and no I didn't do it to fit in, I didn't even understand naomi when she told me who told her so I can't really say but if it's who I think it is then that was one person who already hated naomi and said she was a bitch and a poser before I did, I only stated what I felt at the time because I do believe naomi is somewhat of a poser unless she can prove me wrong and she is a bitch even she says that people think she's a bitch, I know I can be a bitch sometimes, everyone can. Just at this moment in time,
Kandles500: I really don't feel like she's my friend even before I said those things.she was much more distant than she used to be and it always seemed like she was mad at me
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: She said she grew a bit more annoyed with you because you, yourself, became isolated. You felt her distance because she was picking up the same distance from you, in turn, you both split like Pangaea. Her brother told her that the group was talking, and Cecilia lives right behind her. She feels Cecilia doesn't have the right to judge because she doesn't know Naomi.
Kandles500: that's true but I do know her and I've witnessed alot and gone through some much shit with naomi, I have many examples of how much of a bitch she was to me, and I distanced myself to see if that would somehow help m,e because she was always mad at me and I didn't want to deal with some small annoyance. I was jsut tired of doing stuff like this because I refused to give her a tic tac or something, they were always stupid shit like that
Kandles500: now emily that all my feelings are out in the open and yours too, that we can somehow fix our broken friendship because I do want to be friends with you no matter aht naomi says?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I think a night's sleep is in order because my brain is oozing from my eyes and ears as we speak. It's.. kinda gross >>;; We'll see what the new day brings, Ms. Bartmon.
Kandles500: Ok, sleep well, good luck tomorrow, and emily I mean it, I want to be your friend but let me deal with naomi myself, ok? just please don't tell her what we talked about, I don't want you to get further invloved with it, too much stress
Kandles500: I want to talk to naomi without outside influence, is that ok"?
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I don't see how I'm outside.. she told me right
after she head it from her brother. Surely, you can confront her one on one, but she'll probably be trying to acoid you
Kandles500: I know, she won't listen to me like you and jade did, that's why I distanced myself but now the pot has boiled over and we all got burned, good night
y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Good night
Dandy. o.o
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