These things fuel my depression..
What would we be doing if we were alone in my room right now?

Post this in your journal to see what people want to do with you

Be truthful if you love me.

I haven't posted in a while, as you can draw from the last post's date.. I got home a few days ago from my crazy July trip, and I had fun.

We went through Canada, first, stopped in New York, drove to New Hampshire, saw some stuff, went back to New York, saw Niagara, went back through Canada to Michigan, met up with Grandpa, and here I am.

Yeah.. There's not much I can explain.. It screwed, 'cause most of the time we were outside. But I love spending time with my cousins and aunt and uncle. They were so accomodating to me, and there's really no way I could thank them.

Unfortunately, being outside so much made me much, much more paranoid. So much so, I couldn't even go out with out rushing, walking quickly, covering my ears.. And I'm paranoid here, the things have gotten to my head. Any minute buzzing noise it magnified greatly into my ears.

I hate it..

I can't help but almost feel I should make some short of bubble.. for when I go outside.. Some sort of security blanket..

This just shows you, my loved people, how weak minded and afraid I really am.

Thinking of my paranoia of bees fuels my depression.

I saw a commercial about vaccinations, and this got me thinking about doctors and needles and the smell of the cleaning sollution they dab on your arm..

Which made me extremely nervous, because I need some shots still..

Thinking of needles fuels my depression.

Do you see how weak minded I am? I can't even stand marching band. I had one day, just ONE day of marching band practice and automatically hated it. I can't put up with it.. It's just..

Augh.

I can't explain it.

My weakness fuels my depression.

Do you see? Do you see how stupid I am? I'm not trying to throw a fucking pity party for myself, but apparentally it's something I can't help.

On a lighter note, I can't wait to see all my friend. I love them so much.

They keep me going through all my fears, doubts, worries, and weaknesses..

And I could never, ever thank each and every one of them enough.

Thank you, each and every one of you, even if I haven't met you before, for pulling me through..

I love you all.

I promise.

ONE WEEK
Welp, I'm leaving today. I'm leaving to travel with Uncle Joe and Posse for a week, to many different places. Anyways, I'll tell you about yesterday.

:: Wednesday, July 21 ::

Got up, got dressed, and my heart went WHEEEEE 'cause it decided to rain. Thank goodness. I love rain up herr. I talked a bit to some people and then the boys went out to shoot off a rocket, then it started raining, so I went whee.

I scanned in three of my drawings, which can be seen Here

I don't think that'll work.. but try it T.T;;

Yeah, so..

Then we went to the movies, which was cool. We watched King Arthur, which was highly attractive to me. Jess was just spazzing out, but that's okay, 'cause she loves me.

After the movie, we came home annnnd... er.. I don't remember.. we did stuff and went to sleep, which was hard 'cause it was extremely hot in our room.

:: Today ::

We're leaving in 10 minutes T.T; To places unknown to me, but known to those who I ride with.

I was asked to a art school.. I feel special T.T;; Love love love love!

So yeah, I won't be able to talk to you for a week, and then I'll be on my way home *-* SO I'LL SEE YOU IN A WEEK!!!!!! 0.0

ONE MO' WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

Thank the bloody lords of everything, anything and home-baked potato bread! T.T

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

Can you tell I'm happy >.>;;

Anyways, I better jet. See you in A WEEK!!!!

Luvvles

"Uncle Joe.. Son of my grandparents.. Father of cousins three.. I think I shall partake in this perilous journey you call.. VACATION!"

Edit: "FEMININE VIBRATORS"

Shopping Chic
Today was pretty cool ^-^ Much better than yesterday. Barely any bees and I got asked if I had any ciggarettes. WHEE! xD

So yeah, got up around nine 'cause I could barely sleep the night before. Ate some breakfast, had a shower, even put on make up ^-^ Eye stuff. I look good with eyeline *-* I really need to niz meh 'stache. And yes, if you didn't know, I have a moustache. DEAL WIT IT! >.<

Em: I'm not telling, you have to figue it out
Jade: figure
Em: Shut up
Jade: No way, I can't do that shit often.
Em: xD

Yeap, soo, I put make up on David, talked to my mommy, made a new sketch, and then we went to lunch at Pearl's.

Pearl's was attractive to me, and I got a few pictures. The food was good, and the atmosphere was well done. If you're even in Grand Rapids, go to Pearl's! ^-^

Yeap, then we went window-shopping and antique-browsing, it was pretty fun. After that, Gram dropped Jess, Dee, J, and I at the mall. Sexy sexy!

So's we get to the arcade, savvy? And bloody majiggers! THEY HAD DDR! So of course, I had to get a fix ^-^

Christopher (not Jade's spazzy ex): You're like a sexy cute doll
Em: Like.. A blow up doll?

Jess and I DDRed, then we disappeared to other places.

In Hot Topic, Jess got her Foamy shirt, which was killer.

We went to some other stores..

In K.B. Toys, some one set up a dog and a bear, going at it doggy style xD We pressed a bunch of buttons, set a rack of frogs jiggling, ran from it screaming "FROG ORGY!" Then we played catch with a squishy ball.

We disappeared to Simons, and I learnt they sell FEMININE VIBRATORS there. o.o; Thought I should be spicy and add bold text ^-^

Em: It actually mighta been enjoyable.. if it wasn't a 3 year old girl x.x;
Keith: Well hey, if you ever need to find out if it woulda been, just give me a ring

We went back to Hot Topic, and I got the sexye Slytherin shirt, because I am attractive like that.

We went back to the gaming place to get some more DDR, but J had to go to the bathroom. So I took him, and waited. He comes out a few minutes later, he coming out of the girl's bathroom lane, yanno?

And I was like "J.. were you just in the girls' bathroom?"

He looked back and was like "..."

Of course, I laughed, and he threatened my life if I told anyone.

Oops, it slipped.

Fancy that ^.~

Anyways, we went back to the gaming area and snagged some sexye DDR. It was crazy, some boys asked Dee, Jess, and I if we had any ciggarettes. Too bad I didn't get any bubble gum ones, I coulda offered some of them. ^-^

Anyways, we went home, and I hopped on the computer for a smidge. FINALLY talked to Jadie and Keith, whom I've missed like a pants! I've talked to Jenn a bit this week, the lovey.

Meh.. I think I'mma end this post.

Lovely filling you in ^-^

BAI! ~luvvles luvvles luvvles~

~singing 'I didn't mean to pop yer cherry, gurlllll..'~ >.>!

The Great Chase
Meh... Still trying to cool off from what happened. Lemme explain it in EM-O-VISION! .. And it's not pretty.

Okay, so Jess, Dee, and I ride our bikes, right? We ride to Faye's, say hi, look around, and are on our way. The ride through the gravel path was fine, but when we get out of that, onto the paved stuff, I knew from the start something bad was ganna happen.

We rode into the thing acrost the street and swerved about. I felt something on the back of my head, in-between my pigtails, so I scratch at it. We rode a bit more, and I get another itch, so I scratch at it!

It itches again, so I put my fingers around it and pull, and GUESS WHAT THE HELL IT WAS!!!!!

If you guessed something other than bee, you are stupid.

I high-tailed it right out of there!

There're a lot of hills, and the pedals of my bike would pretty much pedal themselves. I'd try to go faster, but my foot slipped off! It got caught between the road and the pedal. It scraped up my heel, but I didn't find that 'til I got home.

The fucking thing was still chasing me, and by this time, I'm hyper-ventilating on a fucking bike. I'm still going, and the wasp circled me, so I tried to go even faster.

I almost toppled off my bike head first!

I didn't see the thing, later learning I was about a meter or 2 away x.X;;

So I turned around, trying to pedal EVEN FASTER!

Still going!

I was sobbing, screaming out I wasn't going to live, 'cause my heart was spasming, and I was gasping for breath.

I got closer and closer, growing weaker and weaker, and finally, FINALLY, I get home.

I dropped the bike, ran as fast as I could, which wasn't fast at all, took a few more steps, and collapsed.

I was sobbing on the floor, twitching and shaking, too weak to even sit up. My gramma came and cottled me a bit, my two cousins sitting, watching.

My hands are still shaking, and I still feel things in my hair, I hate it.

My ankle's kinda scratched up, and I only have one sock on, and my heart hurts.

I wanna go home. I wanna hide in my room. I wanna see my mom. I'm gonna fucking cry again! Maybe I should go be alone for a while, to stop twitching.

Well, there's my excitement, other than I hacked my hair off. If you want a chunk of Emily's lovely locks, leave a comment with your address. There's only one, so hurry! Also includes: A magnificent Ziploc(C)(TM)(C)(C)(TM) Bag(TM)(TM)(TM)(C)!!

Luvvles T.T;;

"You're cute, but not THAT cute"

Not much
-- I.. -

- I am: one
-- I think: that this world is crazier than mine
- I know: that pants can talk
-- I have: long fingernails
- I wish: I was home
-- I hate: those who think they're better
- I miss: my posse
-- I fear: the dark
- I feel: empty
-- I hear: voices and keys
- I wonder: about many things
-- I regret: hurting.. someone
- I love: him
-- I care: too much for my own good
- I am not: who I was and will be
-- I cry: when I admit it'll never be the same
- I do not: like wet hair
-- I never: wish I left home
- I confuse: just about everyone

Blah, still in Michigan.. I wish we had gone home. I didn't want to miss Kimmie's Baby Shower T.T And I didn't want to miss so much UTurn, or the posser, or being close.

I want to see Laura, and Jade, and Jenn, and Keith, and Erik.. and Mom and Dad.. And Shmoe-shmoe! T.T;;;;;;;

I miss my bloody cat, and she doesn't fancy me too much.. god, it's gonna be Hell when I get home. There's the marching-preparel camp the week before school.. which is going to be grody Hell in bee-topia. o.0;

I'll be a late starter to THAT, even! Bloody! >.<;; I might have to sign up again with UTurn, 'cause they're crazy and stuff.. fudgle pants!

Yesterday... my other little cousins got here, and everyone, except Nick and I, went to church. It was loooovely 'sitting for Nick..

Other than I was bloody fondled by a 3-year old girl.

<.<;;;;;;;;;;;

And I noticed something..

Family gatherings is the only time you can legally see nude children o.0;;

>.>;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

That was an odd statement, right?

Yeah.

Anyways, I'mma shut up now.. my shirt's wet from my hair.

Luvvles

Kathy: .. and boys can't be princesses.
Em: Sure they can!