home | profile | guestbook


.:love:.

recent entries | past entries


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 5 January :: 11.46am
:: Mood: Woken
:: Music: You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison -- MCR

Double-dating and the Unknown
Blah, I don't wanna be up..

I've been thinking about what my dad said earlier all day. He did an all-call, telling me and my brothers to unload and load the dishwasher and clean the kitchen..

I was so grudging to this unwanted wake up that I started thinking horrible things..

I am such a horrible person o.o;;

I was like "You never clean anything, why do you expect everything to be so fuckin' spic n span? Sure, you bring in the money, but how 'bout some cleaning? Sure, you're room's clean, but you have two people, no toys, no computer, no desk, two HUGE closets to hide your clothing messes, yada yada, plus, you don't live in my room, I do. My mess should be fine. Let's call it the industious clutter, hm?"

I'm such a fucking bitch! o.o Omigawdddd! XD

And he didn't even say anything about cleaning my room.

Hmph, Keith's bite is pretty much gone.

WoW <<;;

I started plucking eyelashes last night..

Ugh, I'm a freak.

And a bitch.

And I don't even feel that bad today.

Odd.

Ducky called me today about something about double-dating with Adam.

Giggle.

I get to meet the elusive Cassandra (or whatever) if this works out ^^

Hotness.

I wonder if I have art class tonight o.0;;

That'd be kinda cool, but wreck current double-date planning.

I should repaint my nails to just black.

I had more weird dreams.

What's going to happen..?

I never dream usually..

I have flesh-tone glue on my keys.. I L and Y.

The last three letters of my name.

And the enter key.

Odd.

I think I still have some glue on my neck.

Giggle.

"I won't go down by myself, but I'll go down with my friends"

3 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 4 January :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: Amused
:: Music: The whole MCR CD XDD

Bored? (Over 100)
Eep, don't think I'm mean by copying instead of going to the place (Bzoink) 'cause my dad blocked it on my computer ._.

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]

What's your name? :: Emily
Birthplace :: Boca, FL
Age :: 14
Age you act :: Depends on my mood
Current location :: Boca, FL
Eye color :: Brown
Hair color :: Brown
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :: Righty
Zodiac sign? :: Horse
Height? :: 5'-5'1" (plus 1-inch shoes =p)

[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]

Your heritage/nationality :: Maltese
Your hair :: Thick-ish, two long parts infront of my ears.
Your fears :: The dark, bees, The Grudge o.o;;;;
Your perfect room :: Ourple, painted walls, scary dolls, pictures, posters, mess, stuffed animals.
What you practically do in a day :: Computer. o.o

[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]

Words you overuse :: God, okay, giggle, love, <3.
Phrases you overuse :: Bite your face off
Your first thought when you wake up :: '... I wonder who's online..'
Your greatest accomplishment :: Dunno
Something you want to do :: Screw Gerard from MCR. Or Tom Felton. Or Johnny Depp (Emily = Bad)

[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]

Pepsi or Coke :: Coke
McDonald's or Burger Kings :: McDonalds
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :: Neither.
Chocolate or vanilla :: Chocolate
Adidas or Nike :: Vans.
Black or white :: Black.
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :: Bills
Burgers or hot dogs :: Chicken.
Egypt or France :: France
Rock or rap :: ROCK! ^^

[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]

Smoke :: Ewww
Cuss :: Often ^^
Sing well :: I've been told so.
Sing in the shower :: Giggle. Yes.
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :: ^^ YUM!
Believe in yourself :: Not often.
Like taking these longass surveys? :: Surely! Even if your name isn't Shirly!
Play an instrument :: Yes ma'am
Want to go to college? :: Yeapperfish
Want to get married? :: Mehbeh
Want to have children? :: Ew.. labor.
Think you're a health freak? :: Definately not.
Get along with your parents :: Usually.
Get along with your siblings? :: Usually.
Think you're popular :: Giggle, surely not.

[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]

Gone out of state :: Nopers
Drank alchohal :: Nopers
Smoke :: Nopers
Get high :: NEVERRR
Done any drugs :: Isn't that what getting high is? <<;
Eaten an entire box of oreos :: That woulda been cool e.e;
Been on stage :: MEHBEH! Actually.. yes. ^^;
Gone skinny dipping :: xD No
Been dumped :: Not really.
Dyed your hair :: Nopers.
Stolen anything :: Nope ^^

[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]

Craziest :: Dunno, they're all pretty odd.
Loudest :: Lindsay x.x;
Most shy :: Jenn
Blondest :: Laura
Smartest :: ME! XD
Kindest :: Naomi, or Dylie
Best personality :: All of 'em do
Most talented :: They're all uber talented
Best singer :: Jenn's pretty good ^^ <3
Most ghetto :: Do I have ghetto friends? <<;
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :: Sorry Jenn o.o;
Pain in the ass :: Lindz ><;;; Or... KEITH
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):: Sometimes Lo XD
Funniest :: They all make me giggle
Best person for advice :: Dunno
Dependable :: I depend on all of them
Trustworthy :: All
Druggie :: >>;; I don't know. None, I hope.
Most likely to end up in jail :: Keith, for indecent exposure xD
Person you've known the longest :: Jenn

[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]

Last dream :: I pulled out a couple of my teeth and walked a long distance past my old middle school into a developement and there was this.. pond, or something, it's always haunted my dreams ._.
Last nightmare :: >_>...Last night...I hate it when those come up.
Car ride :: Today to pick up Naomi
Last time you cried :: A bit during that one night
Last movie seen :: Monster ~twitch~ o.o;;
Last movie rented :: I don't rent
Last book read :: Count D's Petshop of Horror
Last word said :: hungry (I'm not really hungry)
Last curse word said :: Dun remember
Last time you laugh :: While Keith and Naomi were here
Last phone call :: Last night to Keith
Last CD played :: My Chemical Romance: Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
Last song you listened to :: Cemetary Drive
Last annoyance :: Dun remember
Last IM :: Saying bai to Keith
Last weird encounter :: <<;; Weird?
Last person you hugged :: Keith.
Last person you yelled at :: Keith. xDD
Last time you wore a skirt :: Dunno.
Last time you've been evil :: Today =p
Sarcastic? :: All the time, babeh
Last time you fought with your parents :: Today, kinda
Last time you wished upon a star :: When I saw one.
Played Truth or Dare :: Giggle. It think it was with Zach. I dared him to go to Naomi's naked, but he didn't.
Spent quality time alone :: Right now, bay-beeee

[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]

Are you talking to someone on AIM :: Nope, my message is up
Do you feel lonely :: Kinda
Ever TP'd someone's house :: Nope. I'm too nice =p
How about egging someone's house :: Nope. Still too nice.
Do you not like dislike not like me? :: Who are you?
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :: .. Ew.
Yo Momma :: and your auntie in the backyard!
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :: Not really >>
What do you think of George Bush? :: TERRORIST!
Any secret fetishes? :: Giggle. If I told, they wouldn't be secrets.. PEPTO-BISMAL?!?!
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :: Yeapperfish. WANNA MESS?!
How many languages do you speak? :: UNO! XD
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :: I've type WAY more =p
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) :: .. Stalking, huh? YES! <<

.. Giggle.

2 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 4 January :: 6.27pm
:: Mood: Tired.
:: Music: You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison -- MCR

I listen to this band WAY too much.
Naomi and Keith came over today..

The original plan was to beat Keith up (which I did anyway) for being a hypocrite, but that got ditched 'cause I don't think Naomi could be that mean..

..... Wuss =p

^^

Oh well, my head kinda hurts T.T;;

Sadness.

I wanna see Jade so bad.. And Jenn.

I have her Christmas present o.o;;

I've had it for so long.. I'm too stupid to just drop it off .-.;;

Break is gonna be over soon. I wanna see mah loverrrr

<3 Ducky <3

Giggle.

I love MCR.

So good to me.

Let's find something to explain..

I have some scratches and some bite marks from earlier..

Keith, Naomi, and I are pretty rowdy >>;;

If you leav tape on your arm and take it off, like, 2 to 4 hours later, then it's like.. whoa o.o White xDD

Niiice.

Silly billy.

My nails are orange and black..

How silly.

"Life is but a dream for the dead."

3 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 3 January :: 9.08pm
:: Mood: ...
:: Music: TV

Wow
This sucks.. I talk to Keith for two minutes, he asks me if I'm with Jade, and I break into a depression fit.

Sorry for hanging up on ya kid.

I don't feel good.. kinda unloved, too.

I feel like throwing up my dinner.. but it'd be self-inflicted, and I don't believe in bulimia..

I can't cut myself.. but I can pull out my leg hairs with tweezers. o.o;;

UGH! I'm so fucking stupid ><

Maybe I miss Jade just this much..

But for some reason, it.. isn't the same with Jade anymore..

It's like we aren't as close.. Or something..

I hate myself.

8 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 3 January :: 2.30pm
:: Mood: Tired ._.
:: Music: Nuffin

Longest bloody quiz EVER
BASICS..

:x: name = Emily

:x: piercings = 1 per ear.


:x: tattoos = None

:x: height = 5'

:x: shoe size = 6-8, I guess. I like to wear big shoes <<;

:x: hair color = Brown

:x: length = Chin length, with two chest length peices infront of my ears

:x: siblings = Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, my two "adorable" brothers

LAST..
:x: movie you rented = I don't rent

:x: person you've called = Keith, last night.

:x: person that's called you = Naomi.

:x: tv show you've watched = Power Puff Girls

:x: person you were thinking of = Umn.. You made me think of people when you asked the calling questions.

DO..

:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = Not usually

:x: you think about suicide = If I'm depressed

:x: you believe in online dating = I used to.

:x: you want more piercings? = Maybe another hole in my ears

:x: you drink = No alcohol, if that's what you mean.

:x: you smoke = No o.o;

:x: you like cleaning = Not really.

:x: you like roller coasters = Definately

:x: you write in cursive or print = Print. My cursive isn't pretty.

:x: you carry a donor card = o.0; No..

FOR OR AGAINST..

:x: long distance relationships = ~shrug~ Not for me, but if you want to.

:x: using someone = against

:x: killing people = against .Unless of course it is in self defense.

:x: teenage smoking = Against.

:x: premarital sex = If the time is right, you gotta do what you gotta do =p

:x: abortion = Against.

FAVORITE..

:x: food = Sushi, chocolate, sour-dough bread.

:x: sports = To watch: Hockey To play: I don't play sports really at all, but I like it if it's inside or at night

:x: drink = Dr. Pepper, soda, carbonated juice (<3!)

:x: holiday = Halloween

HAVE YOU..

:x: ever cried over a girl = Yes

:x: ever lied to someone = Haven't you?

:x: ever been in a fist fight = Maybe. I don't remember.

NUMBER..

:x: of times I have been in love: Love.. what is love?

:x: of girls I have kissed? Umnnn.. A lot, I don't remember.

:x: of boys I have kissed? .. Giggle.

:x: Number of people I consider my enemies: Enemies? <<; Oh yeah, I know what those are.

FAVORITE..

:x: disney movie = Mulan, I think..

:x: scent = You're going to think I'm SO weird, but fresh cat litter. Not like.. poop, but after just changing the box and you're pouring in new litter.. S'good. And how Ducky smells. I don't know what he smells like, but it's good.

:x: nickname = Oh man, too many to give. Let's stick with Em, Em-chan, or Emz, hmn?

:x: guy name = Umn..Weston. Lee. Jeremy, I guess.

:x: girl name = Sancia.. Miette. Jen.

:x: eye color = Clean ocean blue. <3

:x: flower = I like jasmine a lot..

:x: piercing = Lip rings are hot.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE..

:x: pretty = Sometimes.

:x: funny = I sure hope so! What else do I gots going for meh?

:x: hot = It's not very warm in here. <<; Why do you ask?

:x: friendly = I think so. Or just obnoxious.

:x: amusing = Isn't that what funny is?

:x: ugly = Often.

:x: loveable = Maybe.

:x: pessimistic = I try not to be.

:x: optimistic = Yey.

:x: caring = Often.

:x: sweet = Taste or attitude?

:x: dorky = Every day of the week.

RANDOM..

:x: Spell your first name back wards = ylimE

:x: The story behind your user name = I have SO many YIM names, but my AIM, o0p5 y3r d34d, umn, I was just bored, I guess. Sounded fitting or something.
0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0: Fwah was my favorite word for a while and Em-chan is my nickname to some.
neko_oni: Meaning "cat demon" or devil was my made-up Sailor Moon character and she totally stuck. I have a buncha names that are "Neko Oni" or "Neko Akuma" or something of the like

:x: Where do you live? =Milky Way.Earth.North America.United States.Florida. Palm Beach County. B--- R----.

DESCRIBE YOUR..

:x: Wallet = Soft, dirty, cowprint. A few cards and there might be a dollar in there.

:x: Hairbrush = Black with little red spheres on the bristle tips. It's old.. and it hurts.. I need a new one.

:x: Jewelery worn daily = Left ring finger: One purple and one black rubber ring. Right ring finger: a gold, sapphire and white diamond ring. Often worn about the neck: My leather cat collar or the interchangable ribbon I got for Christmas.

:x: Pillow cover = One's black silk with butterflies, another one's Scooby Doo, one doesn't have a cover. Then there are two I've had forever.

:x: Blanket = Purple and blue comforter.. I need to straighten it out again

:x: Coffee cup = I don't usually use one.

:x: Sunglasses = I have a purple pair, though I rarely wear sun glasses.

:x: Shoes = Black and white vans, with writing all over the white.

:x: Handbag = If I do carry one, it's usually the black leather coffin one with the red cross on the front.

:x: Favorite top = Either my black cami or some of my other "smaller" black shirts.

:x: What you are wearing now = Black cami and scooby pajama pants.

:x: Hair = Unbrushed, pulled back into a half-tail

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)..
:x: In my mouth = Sour milk taste << Ew.

:x: In my head = Umn.. yey?

:x: Wishing = for patience.

:x: After this = Maybe a shower.

:x: Fetishes = Those who know me would know =p

:x: Person you wish you could see right now = Maybe Keith.. or Jade.

:x: Is next to you = Nothing but the air.

:x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month = Mm.. January?

:x: Who is your worst enemy = Do I need one?

x: If you could have any animal for a pet= I don't know. Something cool.

:x: What is the longest you've ever stayed up = All night, babeh

:x: Ever been to Belgium? = Where'd that come from? <<

:x: Can you eat with chopsticks = Yeapperfish.

:x: Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time? = My con groovers. Miss 'em like the dickens. I miss every one, really.

Yeap.. Wasn't that special?

"Saaaay gooodnightttt"

2 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 3 January :: 1.19pm
:: Mood: Tired ._.
:: Music: The tapping of my Keys

An answer
xxinterupted: Myspace.. whats the kadoo about it?? I don't understand. I think it's kinda dumb. Explain what it does please.

Myspace is this place originally made for 16 and above to find mates. Soon, the teen world pretty much took over, thus, the infatuation with a new meeting thing.

Some of the perks are adding friends, multiple-picture upload space, talking about yourself, an editable blog, a "bulletin board" (post something and all your friends will see it), yadda yadda.

It's pretty amusing ^^;; It makes me giggle..

Well, there ya go.

2 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 2 January :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: Heee ^^
:: Music: Helena -- MCR

Giggle
Ducky doesn't look as good in eyeliner as I thought he would.

He just looks more like a girl.

He's over right now.

RIGHT NOW he's downstairs on a pogo stick.

Silly billy ^^

God I love that kid <3

He's so wonderful

And oh so ticklish

I like tickling people

But they hate it.

Too bad.

"Things are better if I say... so long and good night"

2 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2005 2 January :: 12.17am
:: Mood: Blah
:: Music: MCR -- To the End

Mm.. boys in eyeliner.
Hi.

Nothing to say, really.

Jade left today, well, yesterday. It was sad.

I didn't get to see Ducky, either.

My Chemical Romance rocks out loud o.o;

Mmm.. boys in eyeliner e.e;;

Love 'em

I also really happen to fancy lip rings

I should goth out my Ducky.. Giggle ^^ Sounds like a plan.

I'll try and do it tomorrow, 'cause I love him like that. I better clean my room.

Blech.

Sorry, Naomi, that it didn't really seem to work out o.o;;

That I never really called ._.;;

That.. I seemed to avoid you.. ::.-. <~~ Dead

I didn't, I promise. I swear it.

I just got caught up in everything and lost track of previous plans.

I know, I'm a heartless ass.

But I still love you.

Along with everyone else.

You're all so wonderful..

Why am I taking up so much space in a post that could be so small..?

.. ~no answer~

Well, love you all..

"If you married me, would you bury me..?"

P.S. GOOD LUCK KEITH ~thumbs up, wink wink, nudge nudge, giggle giggle, subliminal message~ ^^

2 hugs | For me


0x-FwAh-Em-ChAn-x0

:: 2004 29 December :: 3.08pm
:: Mood: Blegh
:: Music: Silence

You should get it.. Because my numchucks don't fit in there.
Courtney Love
You are Courtney Love. Yer Fucking Reckless. You
can't keep yer fabulous clothes on cuz yer too
fucked up to walk. However in the midst of the
mess of yer existence yer chaos is still
provoking. You might be a slut but when your in
love you mean it.


Which punk rock goddess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Really? Hmn.

My stomach kinda hurts.. and I'm drinking carbonated apple juice.. And my knee hurts..

But atleast the scab is forming. Thanks, Keith.

I'm home alone right now.. my little brothers are out with some Christmas money. Anyways, yeah..

I wonder how many people actually read my journal..? My pointless ramblings and verbal abuse pointed towards myself.. Just lovely.

I have to give Ducky his earring back.. his mom doesn't like him wearing the one I got for him.. It's a skull n crossbones with a chain up to a fake cartillage cuff. It's really hot, but his mom doesn't want him wearing it 'cause she thinks it'll lead to other peircings.. like his nipple.

Giggle.

"Celebrate with Martinelli's"

2 hugs | For me


0x-fwah-em-chan-x0

:: 2004 26 December :: 1.04pm
:: Mood: Hurried
:: Music: Boy childrens

GIGGLE
submissive
Submissive -- The one with the real power in the
play, you like to get down on all fours or get
tied 'till you turn purple, but you won't
hesitate to use the safe word if things start
to get out of hand. Pretend all you want,
you're the master here.


What BDSM type are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Giggle. I concur. Anyways, I'm still trying to figue out backgrounds on myspace. It's annoying me.

Kthnxluvyabai! >>

"Boo, you whore."

3 hugs | For me


0x-fwah-em-chan-x0

:: 2004 25 December :: 3.07pm
:: Mood: Eh?
:: Music: King Diamond -- Them

Resolutions.
Dec. 30, 2003

1. Loose some weight...

2. Get a boyfriend.

3. Err... Dye my hair for High School..

4. Win manga contest.. or write my own doujinshi.

5. Learn to HTML to make a shibby osome cosplay site.

6. Go to all the conventions I can.

7. Meet cosplayers in my area.

8. Make the anime club better.

9. Make the anime club better.

Giggle. Those were my New Years' resolutions last year ^^; What a silly..

I was reading some of my old posts, and god.. I was a bitch <<;;;

Just agree with me an get it over with XDD

LOVE!

"OHHHHHH, it is tiiime for teeea!"

3 hugs | For me


0x-fwah-em-chan-x0

:: 2004 25 December :: 12.14pm
:: Mood: YEY
:: Music: Christmas Moosic

SWEEPING! YEEEEAH!
Happy Christmas! YEEEY! Zomg! This is, like, my one-year journal anniversary!! HAPPY JOURNAL DAAAAAAY! ^^ LovE! <3<3<3

Guess what I got!? XDDD

Well, I got three sets of pajamas and some happy nail polish, new choker (fancy!) a Kimono-style Bratz doll (XD I'm scared to open the box it's so pretty!) Hell Boy, the makings of a new computer (whooo hooo, I get to assemble a compuuuterrrr <<) An "aqua pet" (mine looks like a snot ball and it's named Lugi.. ewwer) A belt, stockings, so on and so forth.

Giggle. Happy things ^^ My little cousin Nikki (Remember? THE BOOB BEATERRR?! XD) is coming over, and we're going to continue our COLORING FUN!!!

WHOO!

COLORING FUN!!!

Okay.. <<; Bit excited about coloring a fuzzy poster.

WHOOOO!

FLOOR-SWEEPING TIIIME!

YEAAAAAH!

I don't think I could get sad today if I wanted to XD

LOBE YOU! Merry Christmas! <3!

"One joy scatters a hundred griefs."

1 hug | For me


0x-fwah-em-chan-x0

:: 2004 23 December :: 12.17pm
:: Mood: Finished. Tired.
:: Music: My Chemical Romance

Honesty?
Finally, exams are over. Hopefully I'm going with Lindsay and to Diego's tomorrow. I'm tired.. but I want to finish Lindsay Gerard picture. Gerard's the singer from My Chemical Romance. We <3 him, and I love "I'm Not Okay', expecially the music video ^^ Giggle. GUESS WHAT?!

I wuz, like, a totl loozer! N sind ^ w/ MYSPACE!

Hehe, guess I am a poser, huh? I WANNA BE A PREPP! AHHH! >>

After I burn them all..

Giggle.

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...breath taking
Your hugs are...to die for
Your eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...the only thing I desire
Your smell is...amazing
Your smile is...encouraging
Your love is...everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!


Really, now? I wouldn't know that, I guess. Anyways, I love you, you love me, Merry Christmas Holidays.

"Warming up is to: Put a clarinet mouth peice in a tuba!

P.S. No true people were hurt in the making of this message
P.P.S. One is not allowed to say Christmas because it's... belief.. ist.. <<
P.P.P.S. Haha.. I said PP!

4 hugs | For me


0x-fwah-em-chan-x0

:: 2004 21 December :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: Stressed, tired, head-achy

Ze omg ._. Just what one needs during exams week
Kandles500: I don't think me and naomi are friends anymore

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Heh, after what you said about all three of us, I doubt I want to be friends with you, too

Kandles500: well, you ca't forget that naomi and jen said the same things whether or not she decided to tell you that

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I guess I could understand, the posse is allowed to have little spats, even though they were totally uncalled for in the first place. But you, Amanda, have sunk to resorting to telling OTHER people this

Kandles500: these other people don't like you guys and say the same things, so if I agree with them how is that telling them otherwise? and you didn't even want me to be part of the "posse" at the very beginning you didn't like me and I still don't think you do. I have many examples of why I think this, in fact for all the things I've said I have proof.

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mhmm, why wouldn't I want you to be part of the Posse? Quite frankly, I loved the thought of new members. Maybe you thought I didn't want you because, at the time, I was quite intimidated by your presence, but not for ONE SECOND after I got to know you did I doubt you, Amanda.

Kandles500: you never seemed to accept me. it seemed like to be part of the group a

Kandles500: I had to ask your permission

Kandles500: You are the leader of the posse emily

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I think it's co-owned

Kandles500: Every decision is left up to you eventually you have the final say even if you ask and consult other people

Kandles500: and it shouldn't be owned at all, we should all just be friends, not some sort of government or social heirachy

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I don't believe in a government posse, it is all just friends. In a group. Called the posse because that means a group of friends. I never thought I was the leader and maybe a few decisions were left up to me because they involved my house or something of the sort, but I didn't believe we were some organization.

Kandles500: that's how I felt, everyone in the posse looked to you for almost everything invluding the admittance of a new member, and I never really felt accepted by you as I said before, you seemed to be suspicious of me and very judgemental

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: At first I was. I'm very suseptible to taunting and bullies scared me. You silent reputation preceded you and it scared me easily, not to mention you looked like you kicked my ass if I ever said something a bit wrong, but people's opinions change, especially after they learn more about said being. It was very judgemental, but could you not see it from my eyes if a girl of your strength started hanging around you? I didn't even know your name for a while.

Kandles500: but I as in the same position as you. easily prone to taunting. my whole life I was made fun of for how I looked, that's probably why I had a reputation, because after a while I gave in to the bullies and became one myself only to protect myself never to purposely hurt anyone, and I was intimidated by you, everyone liked you you had such great charisma.

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Ugh, I was a stupid-face.

Kandles500: you see emily, I like you and I want to be friends with you, it's just little squirmishes that I don't tell you that bother me that bring us to this, I still want to be friends with you I just want you to know how I feel about some of the things you do

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I am exactly the same, and I don't really appreciate being called a bitch and a poser. You see, calling Naomi and I such things might score you points with the older crowd, but not with the one you had before them. Unfortunately, this mishap has really hurt my feelings, for I thought you would atleast stand up for me, but apparentally you didn't. Now, I don't know if you were talking about Jade as well, if you were, that's REALLLY stupid, but whatever.. That's what you do, apparentally.

Kandles500: but I thought being mad at you would make the whole posse mad at me, so I didn't mention it

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: You should of just told me you didn't like me instead of putting me through the he-says-she-says

Kandles500: NO! I never frickin called you or jade a poser and a bitch. I called naomi a poser and a bitch to someone who already thought that. But emily sometimes people don't handle confrontations well. I do like you, though sometimes you make me mad. I still want to be your friend and please make sure you've heard both sides of the story before you start accusing people

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I beg of you, fill me in on how Naomi is a poser?

Kandles500: I don't know if yopu'll understand and I doubt you'll agree
but here goes

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mmkay

Kandles500: last year she didn't wear any black or chains or skulls or anything like that, things I will unfortunately have to label as gothic, but then suddenly, she wore black and chains and skulls and started being pouty all the time and tried to be friend s with more gothic people, liking only gothic guys when she used to like people like bill. she just changed from being naomi, who was an individual to being some goth girl that I don't think I know. just what she used to like and act like and be like to someone

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I see.

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Mayve she just thought it was time for a self-make-over?

Kandles500: I don't even know, and I know people change but hse did a whole personality adjustment that just isn't the kind of make-over you're talking about. cuz at home she's still like she used to be but at school she's completely different

Kandles500: It's like she only acts like that to impress people or to fit in

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Maybe she is trying to fit in?

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Who isn't?

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I'm sure you really only agreed with the older people to fit in, right?

Kandles500: my mom tells me that I'm too upfront with people, always asking them how they feel about me and confronting them about issues, so I stopped because I didn't want to push them away, but I felt like it made the friendship weaker.

Kandles500: and no I didn't do it to fit in, I didn't even understand naomi when she told me who told her so I can't really say but if it's who I think it is then that was one person who already hated naomi and said she was a bitch and a poser before I did, I only stated what I felt at the time because I do believe naomi is somewhat of a poser unless she can prove me wrong and she is a bitch even she says that people think she's a bitch, I know I can be a bitch sometimes, everyone can. Just at this moment in time,

Kandles500: I really don't feel like she's my friend even before I said those things.she was much more distant than she used to be and it always seemed like she was mad at me

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: She said she grew a bit more annoyed with you because you, yourself, became isolated. You felt her distance because she was picking up the same distance from you, in turn, you both split like Pangaea. Her brother told her that the group was talking, and Cecilia lives right behind her. She feels Cecilia doesn't have the right to judge because she doesn't know Naomi.

Kandles500: that's true but I do know her and I've witnessed alot and gone through some much shit with naomi, I have many examples of how much of a bitch she was to me, and I distanced myself to see if that would somehow help m,e because she was always mad at me and I didn't want to deal with some small annoyance. I was jsut tired of doing stuff like this because I refused to give her a tic tac or something, they were always stupid shit like that

Kandles500: now emily that all my feelings are out in the open and yours too, that we can somehow fix our broken friendship because I do want to be friends with you no matter aht naomi says?

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I think a night's sleep is in order because my brain is oozing from my eyes and ears as we speak. It's.. kinda gross >>;; We'll see what the new day brings, Ms. Bartmon.

Kandles500: Ok, sleep well, good luck tomorrow, and emily I mean it, I want to be your friend but let me deal with naomi myself, ok? just please don't tell her what we talked about, I don't want you to get further invloved with it, too much stress

Kandles500: I want to talk to naomi without outside influence, is that ok"?

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: I don't see how I'm outside.. she told me right
after she head it from her brother. Surely, you can confront her one on one, but she'll probably be trying to acoid you

Kandles500: I know, she won't listen to me like you and jade did, that's why I distanced myself but now the pot has boiled over and we all got burned, good night

y0ursw33tsu1c1d3: Good night

Dandy. o.o

15 hugs | For me


0x-fwah-em-chan-x0

:: 2004 20 December :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: Self-hating.
:: Music: Nothing.

Poe
Edgar Allen Poe was a fucking mastermind.. I swear, this poor dead guy's a genius. I would love to randomly mail people bits of his work..

Wouldst thou fancy some Poe, accompanied with a holiday greeting? Leave your name and address, and it shall be sent <3!

Anyways, yeah..

It's exams week. I've cut my nails into points, and Dan still hasn't called.. I'm supposed to take his torn pants and sew them up with pretty beads. Kind of like the gay hat. HEY KEITH?! Can I mend your pants with pretty beads?! XD It'd be so hot ^^

No matter how sadistic it sounds, I like hurting people..

I know, that sounds really mean, but it's true. Like biting, and clawing, and.. side-squeezing and all that, it's just so >>; Amusing..

I'm a horrible person, aren't I?

"Well, usually when I ask nicely, I get what I want."

3 hugs | For me

Woohu.com | Random Journal