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2007 11 June :: 8.43 am
"Deep Fried Cat!"
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2007 17 May :: 10.19 pm
Banter...not opinion stating, this was defenatly a brawl
Byron is my friend. He's an atheist who sits around and reads books like Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion" and makes fun of religion. I'm the kid who sits there with "The Neuroscience of Human Relationships" in one hand and "Mere Christianity" in the other.
We clash. A lot.
People are often offended, it seems, by the fact that we sit there in the SUB lounge like a couple of college hipsters and duke out the finer points of evolutionary gene drifts and doctrinal interpretation, arguing about the church and it's values, the logical or illogical elements of theism and atheism. So we battle on the usual abortion, and then revert to something more ambient like, oh say, the role of genetic copying in evolution, pouring over pentahybrid crosses to see if there is an exponential flaw.
Monday (I think) we were at it again and things were getting pretty fiery. It was a genuinely good debate. And Oriana comes trotting in and sits next to us and says, "What are you guys arguing about".
"Just some friendly banter over the secrets of the Universe regarding God versus Science." Yeah, I was a little sarcastic.
"Oh! So you guys are just stating your opinions, got it."
No, it's definitely an argument. Don't dilute it. We both have very powerful, well versed minds and we're using them. And it's both fun and enlightening. And while one minute were tackling the answer to the balance between morals and practical application in the realm of abortion, and how it pertains to the greater good of humanity versus the moral institution, the next minute we might find ourselves concocting ideas for fatshaft or something of the like.
Maybe people really are that selfish, but I think there might be something else to it.
Byron and I both have a lot of brain power and as a result we spend a lot of time bored by the monotony of school. Not to say it's too easy, but more that it's an exercise in will power, not brains. Most things taught are relatively easy if we apply any effort. This is to say we don't get a chance to really flex our brains that frequently.
Thus finding someone else of high intellect who thoughts are the antithesis of your own is a rare treat. We get to use our minds and push them to the limit. We refine our arguments, and we never agree to disagree. Why? Because we're true to our art.
"Agreeing to disagree", as it were, is really just a cop-out to avoid doing the work necessary to develop a solid and founded belief system that can withstand trial. It's for people who want happiness, not truth. Which in our culture is regarded as acceptable. The analytical mind, however, finds that the men and women who found truth and used it to better the world seldom stumbled across it while seeking happiness.
A group of people can argue about the true color of an object, some saying it is more blue than green, and others saying it's more green than blue. But in the end, it's something. Even if it's neither, it certainly can't be both. Relative truth is another witty phrase some complete moron came up with to protect him self from the disappointment of being proven wrong. With thought comes the potential for mistakes. And in our human insecurity, we run from things that expose those mistakes. We don't want to look weak, so we form this idea that all truth is relative and we should just believe whatever makes sense to us. The concept of the world being flat makes a ton of sense to a guy by the name of James Hallam. That doesn't make it true.
This is probably the one thing Byron and I agree on: there is truth. Truth being the non-perspective oriented reality superseding all other realities, which in turn become perspective oriented. It is the way things really are, which is not controlled by how we would like them to be. And there are ways by which this can be found out. It's a matter of taking a step back and looking at the whole picture, and having the courage to gamble our beliefs with the chance of them being shattered.
Honestly, I have no idea why I was so inclined to write this out. Those who should be concerned with this won't change their minds and those who shouldn't already knew what I said and probably didn't even read this for sake of boredom wrought of redundancy.
Well, I wrote it. I might as well put it out there.
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2007 16 May :: 9.40 am
:: Mood: Ha! That's ironic.
:: Music: Slice up and not across
The sum of all power
There is a line that divides the calender of my life. Wide, cascading across more than a year, consuming memories and hurling them into blank oblivion. Before this line I was controlled by the forces of my mammalian (1st level subconscious complex) instincts. Rage, love, sadness, joy, happiness, sexual attraction: They said jump, I said how high. The switch was on and I could never turn it off. I existed in first level, or modified subconscious. Hyper-responsive disassociation. I knew this before. What I didn't know is that Abilify, a supplement of apiprozyl I believe, completely severs the neuronal interaction between left and right lobes of the brain. A gamble, since your cognitive conscious must reside in one. This was the left brain, for me. For a year, I was without true emotion. The summer of 2005 is when the drug finally ran out of my system. I remember the exact moment, the flow ceased. It was like when your ears pop and suddenly you realize how deaf you were before hand. The world became visibly brighter. So what then? I've been loosed for two years. My initial thought when Roberts was telling me this was that I would have started over, and my emotional complex would be as well synchronized as a two year olds. Not so. In fact, my emotional complex is flat out not synchronized. I haven't actually switched it back on (as clarification this doesn't mean I'm emotionless).
All this is to say that intellectual and emotional stimuli do not tie in with each in my brain. Everybody does this. As a child learns about the world around it, it learns to associate emotions with certain thoughts or actions. If they have a father whom gets drunk, comes home, and beats them they learn to associate alcohol with pain, and thus with fear.
I don't have that anymore, at least not on a large scale.
I know I have a few, and I can remember when they were made. Certain songs, memories, voices- Some trigger something inside me. Most don't. So I get to go back through and attribute emotional responses to intellectual stimuli. I get to reformat my perception of events. I get to decide how I think about the world, starting at a cognitive purely logical frame of mind and working up the most ambient emotions.
The sum of all power.
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2007 15 May :: 11.27 am
Apparently Fatshaft is becoming somewhat popular at Ferris. Somehow the Spinal Tap knock-off band is permeating the underground humor section.
"I feel my job in the band is to be a sort of luke-warm water, really"
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2007 15 May :: 11.20 am
My icon is amazing.
[s.prom] tacky, eh?
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2007 13 May :: 2.06 pm
:: Music: De-loused in the Comatorium
The line Defined
finite is sifted from infinite
the impurities burned, the imperfections flaunted
and at dawn's birth all creation is loosed to chaos
and evil is found the least among them
for all virtue is swallowed by vice in subsequent generations...
Save one.
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2007 7 May :: 8.18 am
My morning pretty much sucked. That is, until I heard that Paris Hilton is going to jail for forty five days. That made everything okay again.
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2007 25 April :: 11.04 am
:: Music: The Mars Volta
The Veil Cerpin Taxt
You must have been phlegmatic in stature
The gates of thanos are a spread eagle wide
You let the shutters make sackcloth and ashes
Out of a blind mans picaresque heart
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
It's not over till the tremulant sings
These ides of march
Are they so make believe
How tempts the revenant
Slice up and not across
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
A mass of gallon sloth
As flys have walls for feet
A rapturous verbatim-someone said but who is to know
And when you find the fringe
The one last hit that spent you
You'll find the ossuary spilling by the day
The iconoclastic had it coming for years
They know the prisons that you have yet to fear
Where thumbs hide inside of sleepingbag mouths
Adlib your memoirs by casting a drought
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
A mass of gallon sloth
As flys have walls for feet
A rapturous verbatim-someone said but who is to know
And when you find the fringe
The one last hit that spent you
You'll find the ossuary spilling by the day
Knife me in -hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in-hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in hobbling
Talking in It's sleep again
Who brought me here
Forsaken,depraved and wrought with fear
Who turned it off
The last thing I remember now
Who brought me here
Forsaken,depraved and wrought with fear
Who turned it off
The last thing I remember now
Who brought me here
The last minute of that song kicks so much ass...Deloused in the Comatorium is undoubtably one of the defining albums of our generation's rock.
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2007 25 April :: 10.33 am
I feel like a fucking Hipster
Next essay is a research paper deriving a concept from Schlosser's book and using documented incidents to make it relevant to the local populous.
We can choose from marijuana laws, illegal immigrant labor, and pornography and the surrounding controversy (free speech and such).
I'm thinking...pornography and free speech. I've never formally written anything on free speech, and I've already written more essays on pot and immigration than I care to remember.
So here's what I want to know from everyone.
(this is the hipster bit)
How is pornography is relevant in the free-speech controversy, and in what way does this impact us as citizens of the pacific north west?
(That sounded terrible. I should vomit just on principle)
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2007 22 April :: 1.58 pm
Fear of a blank planet, the new porcupine tree album, is amazing. Highly recommended.
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2007 16 April :: 1.32 pm
I ended up writing about my drunk dog terrorizing Schweitzer. The essay blows...
I think I'm losing my edge.
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2007 12 April :: 9.49 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "and I can't fight this feelin'" (southpark)
Whoopty doo
I'm exhausted. I left home at 7:50 and won't be home until 9 ish. This blows.
Oh well, still better than high-school.
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2007 9 April :: 4.09 pm
English Essay
I'm writing a first person narrative of an event in my life that has taught me something about the world I live in.
The milestones of my life have been such epiphanies, but I can't think of a single one to write about. Maybe something funny. I was considering the time my dog was drunk at schweizer... but I'm having a hard time seeing a thesis for that one.
Any ideas?
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2007 9 April :: 4.06 pm
:: Mood: I have a head-ache.
This quarter
is going to eat me alive.
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2007 20 March :: 9.14 pm
Actually, I get it tomorrow.
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2007 18 March :: 1.26 pm
:: Mood: ...yeah.
So I got my car. It's a 2004 Ford Taurus. It kicks ass...in that grandma-man way. I get my license thursday.
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2007 14 March :: 9.18 am
:: Mood: scurred.
:: Music: All the love in the world
...I get braces tomorrow...
*gulp*
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2007 9 March :: 9.07 am
:: Mood: Jovial
:: Music: Ian's Song
"Their Language is unspeakable, their hygiene is deplorable, their Germans Yeah, Germans yeah!"
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2007 8 March :: 4.35 pm
:: Mood: Down
:: Music: Michael teaching a guitar lesson to a seven year old.
Defining moment in my day
"I'm sick of sex."
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2007 6 March :: 6.54 am
ack!
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2007 28 February :: 12.33 pm
:: Music: rap on the ethnic diversity corner's laptop
Corn-chips are no place for a mighty warrior.
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2007 26 February :: 12.35 pm
:: Music: Jolly
Frost
Shock
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2007 26 February :: 8.56 am
:: Mood: Frustrated
Animals Suck
My turtle died two weeks ago, and now we have to put a Horse down. I'm sick of this.
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2007 24 February :: 4.11 pm
Random Journal Spree...
Was anyone else aware that 90% of the people on woohu are from Cedar Springs Michigan?
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2007 24 February :: 4.06 pm
Dead-sauce.
So I deleted my "space".
And I am very happy with this.
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2007 15 February :: 9.13 am
:: Mood: Nervous (So come, and I will feel better)
Your New Favorite Band.
Tonight. 7:00. West of Big Daddy's, which is on the corner of 27th and Ray. Youth Center. Bring five dollars and a lot of your friends. Do it or I will personally shank all of you with a rusty spoon 'till your kidneys bear more than a passing resemblance to tapioca pudding.
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2007 25 January :: 7.34 am
Good news guys. I got to school at seven this morning...*hartle* -tweak- ~zoom~
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2007 22 January :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Red Sky, Thrice
"Red Sky"
I know what lies beneath, I've seen the flash of teeth
conspiring with the reef to sink our ship
the wind's a cheating wife, her tongue a thirsty knife
and she could take your life with one good kiss
Can you see the sky turn red
as morning's light breaks over me
Know tonight we'll make our bed
at the bottom of the sea
I know the ocean speaks, I've heard her call to me
and smiling in my dreams she whispers this
(the stars retreat behind their veil
the clouds are clinging to your sail
the storm is coming can you see)
Look and see the sky turn red
Like blood it covers over me
and soon the sea shall give up her dead
We'll raise an empire from the bottom of the sea
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2007 22 January :: 9.43 pm
I've had this song stuck in my head all weekend...Red Sky, by Thrice. It's a cool song but damn, I can't get it out...it's starting to irritate me.
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2007 19 January :: 1.36 pm
:: Mood: hollow
I can't believe it.
Robert's dead.
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