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:: 2010 11 April :: 12.29pm

Yesterday was quite honestly the best birthday I've ever had! I got drunk! I got to finally hang out with Josh!! God I love that boy and that friendship! I couldn't hold in my excitement to see him and I gave him the biggest hug ever! He seems to be having a difficult time and I'm so glad we got to reconnect like that.. He is so.. Rejuvinating! I feel like new life has been breathed into me :)

we played kings cup :) everyone had a good time! More people showed up than I thought would and they were all the important people in my life :) I got to go to irv's and no one I didn't like hit on me! I didn't get to drink a lot there because I had a tummy ache :(

my parents got me an amazing new set of pots and pans! I got a beautiful set of earings from Zuzu! Everyone at Idv's were jealous and they wanted a pair hehe :3 and a really sweet mix cd which I shall rip and load as a playlist on my iPhone :3 it was soo nice to see zuzu and I'm really glad she could make it!

New roomie is looking to be awesome! And she meshes well with my friends! And she likes girls so we all know what that means! Strip club night!! Hell ya!!

Ahhhhhh yesterday was FUCKING RAD!! And Sus did an amazing job on the decorations! And I can't wait to see what he got me!!! AHHH I LOVE MY AMAZINGLY HOT AND THOUGHTFUL BOYFRIEND/BEST FRIEND EVER!!!!!11!!1!1 one!!1!

:: 2010 8 April :: 10.03pm

Tomorrow is food buying day! And I get to hang out with Laura! And she's going to make mac and cheese from scratch! And we're going to eat I and have drinks! And watch cute movie and have a cuddlefest! SO excited!!

And I'm dying my hair tonight! And my nose piercing is SO fucking hot!

And then Saturday..... PAAR-TAAY!!!!!

XD ahhhh!!! Then Monday sushi and presents and I'll offically be old haha

:: 2010 7 April :: 6.57pm

Change is hard.

:: 2010 7 April :: 1.17am

Can't sleep.

Fucking sucks.

:: 2010 6 April :: 9.01pm

Calcifer tattoo on ankle. Hell fucking yeah.

:: 2010 6 April :: 5.49pm

Owch

:: 2010 5 April :: 9.53pm

Drugs or me.

And seriously... It's always drugs.

So fucking disgusting.

:: 2010 4 April :: 8.46pm

After this weekend I really just want to leave. Never ever coming back once I get out.

Fuck Spokane.

And if you can't see how shitty it is then you are blind and that is very unfortunate. Please, though, stay if you like it.

:: 2010 1 April :: 11.05am

Got my nose done yesterday!
early birthday gifts rock!
My boyfriend is the best ever!
Hella rad birthday and it's still 12 days away!!

:: 2010 31 March :: 9.22am

The nice part about this job is callers are usually always nice. Cuz the never have a reason to be mad at me.

:: 2010 30 March :: 8.46pm

Birthday in T-13 days :D
Nose piercing in T-3 days
Food in T-2 days

I don't want to jinx it but things are FUCKING AWESOME right now.

Loving boyfriend, amazing job, spring, a future, health, a car, friends who love me, courage to face my demons, strength to do what must be done, discipline to do it promptly and obtainable goals and success in my future.

Honestly changing jobs has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I feel like I could take on anything.

:: 2010 30 March :: 6.03pm

Is it really possible?

Overwhelming.

:: 2010 29 March :: 2.47am

Sounds like Seattle

:: 2010 27 March :: 11.49pm

I'm so confused.

:: 2010 26 March :: 8.59am

i <3 hello kitty

:: 2010 26 March :: 7.09am

It's finally Friday! And that means in 1 week I'll have a paycheck! And it means that it's time for weekend festivities! And it means in a couple days I'll be taking phone calls and capturing claims at the best work place in Spokane!

I finally got insurance yesterday for my apartment and car! And I'm going to hang out awith someone new this weekend! And things are just really great!

I'm having an amazing hair day! It's stormy and rainy out! I just really love today!

:: 2010 25 March :: 11.23am

thank you daniel for ruining my opportunity to deal with my life on my terms.
invading my privacy and my only outlet to vent my frustration and to say things in a tactful manner to someone I feel deserves something more that hearing it from a friend.

Thank you for playing Suzie home-wrecker.

Good Job!

:: 2010 25 March :: 6.21am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: nin - a warm place

Hey God why are you doing this to me?
Am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
Why am i seething with this animosity?
Hey God i think you owe me a great big apology
Terrible lie

Hey God i really don't know what you mean.
Seems like salvation comes only in our dreams.
I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme.
Hey God can this world really be as sad as it seems
Terrible lie

Don't take it away from me.
I need someone to hold on to.
Don't take it away from me.
I need someone to hold on to

Hey God, there's nothing left for me to hide.
I lost my ignorance, security and pride.
I'm all alone in a world you must despise.
Hey God, i believed that promises, your promises and lies
Terrible lie

You made me throw it all away.
My morals left to decay.
How many you betray.
You've taken everything
Terrible lie

My head is filled with disease.
My skin is begging you please.
I'm on my hands and knees
_{I want so much to believe.}
Don't take it away from me.
I need someone to hold on to.
Don't take it away from me.
I need someone to hold on to
I give you everything.
My sweet everything
Hey God, i really don't know who i am.
In this world of piss

:: 2010 24 March :: 8.43pm

Beh

:: 2010 24 March :: 7.09am

I can't wait until she leaves.
I half don't care if it ruins my birthday.
Sometimes I feel like it would make my birthday.

Halfway through my week already! And things are looking good! Emily's coming over tonight! Going to get our drink on! And watch some empire records!

Last night was nice. Hermitholes make me happy.

:: 2010 23 March :: 8.43am

Ah the glories of human communication.

Sometimes I really like being alive.

:: 2010 21 March :: 7.11pm

Birthday party plans in the making! I'm hella excited!

:: 2010 21 March :: 10.12am
:: Mood: aggravated

Honestly I want to punch my parents.
When I was unemployed I told them I would have a job I. Seattle by now and they told me that Seattle has just as many jobs as Spokane.
I'm looking at indeed.com and within he first 2 pages I found at least 7 jobs I'd be a shoe-in for. On spokane's it takes me 6-7 pages to find something I MIGHT get possibly maybe.

Honestly I love and hate how Seattle is the solution to EVERY problem I have in my life. I KNOW I can be happy there. I know I can rind a job. I know I wouldn't need to eat all the time. I know my family wouldn't constantly be this dark shadow over me.

Seattle will make me happy, healthy and motivated to succeed. Spokane makes me want to die.

So.. Come July or august I am takin my life and my love and permanently leavin this town. I am never comin back and I am never making the mistake of moving away again.

I am so determined. I am so motivated. I will succeed.

:: 2010 19 March :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: satisfied

:)

:: 2010 19 March :: 5.43am

I hate John.

[edit]

Drunken updates should be illegal. Especially when intended recipients of said update don't even know this journal exists.

:: 2010 17 March :: 2.19pm

I'm glad I have the courage and strength to know when someone in my life is making me unhealthy. Plans in motion to have myself back by Friday. I'm so proud of myself :)

:: 2010 17 March :: 9.06am

we need more heroes.

:: 2010 17 March :: 6.10am

This new work schedule is killing me!
Try switching from a 2-10 day to a 715-330 day!
It's brutal!!
I've been pounding coffee to stay awake haha

:: 2010 15 March :: 7.52pm

First day at new job was awesome! Met an old co-worker from Premera and she's going to try and get me a permanent position there :) she's a sweetie! I feel bad that I couldn't remember her name.. :/

anyway! Awesome new job! Great hours! Good atmosphere! All the overtime I want! And a very small training class!

I'm very happy! And right on shedule with Seattle!

:: 2010 14 March :: 4.10pm

Pills kick in fast.
Rough housing needs to be done more often.

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