achoo's Journal

:: 2005 22 November :: 2.44pm

UGHGGHGHGHGHGH
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well since my page is already big, i decided i'd make yours big too.

sometimes i just want nothing more than to leave school WAIT a second. what did i just say? oh wait. i always want to leave school. i absolutely hate it. i'm thankful for a few things this year. Roman, friends, and having this be my last year of high school.

anyway. me and jess are going shopping and i am getting really excited. i have no money to spend but a few gift certificates and i dont really care because i just think it will be fun because me and jess dont spend enough time together anymore.

i must just have serious jealousy issues. i'm just not good enough. whatever.

wait one more thing, am i seirously like HIDEOUSLY UGLY or what? why does everyone do that to me??! i hate people! especially mean ones!

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:: 2005 21 November :: 11.01pm

ugh seriously that's all

\and freakin hypnotism is weird shit. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????? SHUT THE HELL UP. SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I AM YOUR MOMMA!!"

hhahaa . it was fun but i'm sad. like x124125123512351235 million.

:: 2005 18 November :: 11.45am

where did i go wrong? i lost a friend

I really want to do something. I want to go on a missions trip or something. Feel worthy and maybe useful. I've been thinking about going out of state but you know. Things hold me back of course even though we have the resources so it's completely stupid, really. I could do it I guess just as easily as I'm doing what I plan to be doing... if that makes sense. But... there would be too many complications. Where would it leave us? I don't know, and so I will probably never do it.

Is that holding me back? I don't know. Not really I guess. Because it's also my door to absolutely everything. I wouldn't even be if it weren't for it. So I guess I can't say it's holding me back . That wouldn't make any sense.

How many times are you going to redo it? Kind of ridiculous.
I never knew people who had babies could afford such expensive clothing for themselves. Is that how you do it? Gawd.

I miss Roman like, really really badly. I haven't seen him for too long. Like a week. Almost. Really you're my strength babe. I'm going to see him early tomorrow. And then of course the day has to be brought down by work at 5. That's so stupid. I've worked every single day this week. Tired. Is what I am. Just tired. And then I have to work tonight of course at 5. We probably won't be busy at all and when you're a waitress, that really sucks. Getting paid $2.65.... come on. That's so stupid. I think I'll just leave if it's dead because it just is so pointless. And oh, I work Sunday as well. At 4. So I have worked every day for a week. What a glorious week.

When will something new come? I need.. not change but solutions. I hate this situation. I hate it.

I'm glad I'm fast typer. HA.

No love,
jess.

:: 2005 18 November :: 11.22am

jess dont block your comments please cuz then i can't say anythinggggg :0(

:: 2005 17 November :: 9.40pm

we bit our lips, she looked out the window...
fuck this stupid so-called "family" what the fuck am i doing concerning myself with other peoples' happenings? i need to get my own life outside of SCHOOL??? and work. Rosie's babysititng and lazer skate and roman. that's my life.

then again, what is life when you're seventeen years old. It doesn't begin until you move out of your house. So when is life going to start for me. Hopefully sooner than we all think.

:: 2005 17 November :: 9.07pm

what the hell. i hate food and it needs to stay away from me. dammit i just got a papercut. fer real.

:: 2005 17 November :: 8.56pm

i really want to and i know it will decide absolutely everything.

i miss you

:: 2005 17 November :: 4.55pm
:: Music: Ben Folds - Emaline

"sometimes I dont know what she's saying. but i know what she wants to believe"
Ugh what a long, stupid and pointless day... And now I have to work in an hour.

I wish we could go to that one place jess tonight. Don't you? Jess? Don't you?
Sometimes, when you have a headache especially, pre-schoolers just AREN'T the cure for anything. But other times they just make you feel so good. They are so cute and innocent.

i'm glad i will never have to go through all those things again. ha.

"oh i wish I was a pretty girl why can't i be a pretty girl like her?"

you drive me nuts baby but i absolutely love you . What would I do without you? i'm sorry.

:: 2005 17 November :: 1.42pm

yeah okay cool people are so important. i must know everything about "them"

f ucking dumb.

:: 2005 15 November :: 11.40pm

ugh
i want to go back

:: 2005 15 November :: 1.40pm

Gunnie, i think we're doing a page in yearbook about online journals and stuff and i was wondering if i can interview you sometime. maybe we could also incorporate some hanging out time into that. cooooooool.
let me know buddy

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:: 2005 15 November :: 7.51am

So i kinda forgot about how i said you wouldn't see me ever again so look stupid me i forgot to run away. i would totally go right now but i have to babysit after school anyway which is totally stupid.
I don't know if i'll be able to take anymore of life.
what do you have to offer because i dont know if i want it.

F uck this stupid place and everything else. i think i want out k.