achoo's Journal

:: 2005 9 November :: 8.31am

You took away the one thing I felt okay at. You took everything I thought I'd earned. Obviously none of it mattered, but it mattered to me. You're a biased pig and I hope you regret it. That's why I'm not there. And you act like everything is okay. It's not . You're an idiot.

I hate being here. This year of school is entirely pointless to me. There is probably one class I feel might be beneficial to me. The rest are just junk to fill up my schedule. And not that they are easy classes, they aren't. But they sure are junk. They are complete crap. The teacher has no idea what they are talking about and it is a total waste of my time. I hate being taught by someone who you know is dumber than you in certain areas. That should never be a teacher. Go back to college or something because I don't want to waste my time listening to your babble. Like you know anything. You don't. I could easily learn more by just reading the book without ever having to see your face or hear your pointless voice. I am counting down the days until I am out of here. I can't wait. And it's not even like that. I just want to feel like I'm not wasting my time.

I want to go with you. This place is ridiculous.

:: 2005 8 November :: 8.37am

i am so happy. my GPA has gone up a lot and also H hasn't even changed my fricken grade yet so things will be even better. i got an A on my last chemistry test and yeah well that makes me super happy. i hate school but i'm not sucking at it.
score.

oh and last night was so fun and great. LOOOOOVE YOU

:: 2005 8 November :: 8.31am

I decided I'm going to do everything in my power. I talked to Jalyn and she's right. I need to do what I need to do. I don't think I'll regret it.

I hate being here. I want to be with you.

scholarships....?

:: 2005 7 November :: 1.54pm

just a little word to the unwise!!!

shut up!

because you obviously don't know anything. jerk.

:: 2005 4 November :: 4.04pm

anything else that can make me feel more miserable? come on fucking bring it you are so stupid seriously like i wish i could wish you away and you definetely. i dont kno w

:: 2005 4 November :: 3.58pm

i have had the worst day ever god i've been bawling my eyes out for an hour now and earlier today too god fucking stupid ass shit and i am not going to school anymore i fucking refuse. it is so pointless and stupid. i haven't had this bad of a day since roman and i broke up for 4 days in the summer.

seriously i've never felt so completely miserable and FUCKING useless. there's fuckign nothing anymore and if a cliff suddenly appeared in cedar i'd be the first one jumping off it
i fucking can't take it anymore

fucking use some fucking common senese

and i haTEHALEK J HAWELKTJLKAWEJTLK J HATEE HATEH AH AETHEHAHATE you . god dammita

:: 2005 4 November :: 10.07am

today is such a bad day. why'd i ever believe i could be any better than what i am.

faslkdfj that

:: 2005 4 November :: 7.01am

i'm sooooo scared

bet you'd never guess what i'm scared about.

:: 2005 3 November :: 10.27pm

TEN YEARS AGO I... seven and chubby and even more annoying then i am now.

FIVE YEARS AGO I WAS: 12... and finally getting not as fat and into stuff......yeah

ONE YEAR AGO I WAS: with roman...he had moved out for us so we could see each other more.

YESTERDAY I WAS: baby sitting and then went to bed at 7:30

FIVE SNACKS I ENJOY:
1. ice cream
2. chocolate
3. animal crackers
4. umm
5. oreos

FIVE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO:

1. ben folds the luckiest
2. third eye blind motorcycle drive by
3. kelly clarkson anytime
4. you know
5. yeah that one

FIVE THINGS I WOULD DO WITH 100 MILLION DOLLARS:

1. be SO much less worried about my future
2. buy a nice house
3. marry
4. give my kids wonderful lives
5. not go to work probably

FIVE BAD HABITS:

1. worrying
2. asking too many questions apparently
3. being easily angered or annoyed
4. swearing
5. procrastinating

FIVE BIGGEST JOYS:

1. roman
2. jess
3. sleep
4. feeling safe
5.feeling like i look good/fine

FIVE FAVORITE TOYS:

1. piano?
2.
3.
4.
5.

FIVE PLACES I WOULD RUN AWAY TO:

1. ROMAN

FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR:

1. 80's shit
2. leggings
3. i udno

TEN FAVORITE TV SHOWS:

1. family guy?
2.
3. home movies?
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

FIVE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I WOULD DATE:

1. i really dont watch tv so i duno
2.
3.
4.
5.

FIVE PET PEEVES:

1.MEAN people
2. bad grammer
3. when i must listen or follow orders or be taught by people are dumber than myself.
4. a COLLEGE BOY ...eta;fksdj
5. when people trreat their waitress i.e. me , like crap

fucekrs roni

:: 2005 3 November :: 10.11pm
:: Mood: tiredish.

mmmmrrrrehhhhhhhh
baby doesn't get out of work until 2 which means i am sitting here doing nothing.

i finally joined the world and got a cell phone. hoooooooray~!

i got to work today yay so i got some money. i kept making good tips i was so happy.
i think i did really good on my chem test yesterday which makes me so happy.

i love roman and jess and thats about it frankly.

i couldn't stop thinking about your stupid ass today. not your butt. but you. because you are a butt and i dont know why you kept popping in my head but get out you stupid stupid nasty disgusting girl. go away.

i'm watching south park.
andndndnndndnd i'm finally seeing roman on saturday

Will anyone watch Elvis, my kitty, over Christmas break? Please. he needs a babysitter.

:: 2005 30 October :: 10.41pm
:: Music: Ben to the Folds

"i wish it was last september where we could lose ourselves in clouds everyday"

no i dont!

" 'If you really loved me,' she said. "I wouldn't have to be so mean.' He likes to remember when. Such a shame to ruin this bright, lazy, sunny day. The cruelest lies are often told without a word. The kindest truths are often spoke and never heard. She said 'You've been pushing me like I was a sore tooth. You can't respect me but I've done so much for you.' And he said 'Well I hate that's it come to this. But baby I was doing fine. How do you think that I survived the other 25 before you?' The end is growing near. And we're treading water now and holding back our tears..."

I am unprepared and I just want a break. I don't know what I can do or how I will do it. I am so scared and worried.

I'm waiting up for you again, though.

TOTALLY UNRELATED: I had a lot of fun with Stef. She has an awesome apartment and a great catch of a guy. I hope they get married soon. I love Ben Folds and I hope that me and Stef hang out again soon because that was fun and we could party.

I want to just go away. But with you.
ABABABABLK Dont you hate when people just stop talking to you online...? :0( I do.
Also, a mullet-lady made me cry at work yesterday. Bitch.

Went to Roman's today. It was a perfect and beautiful sunny day. I love him.

But somebody help me straighten out some things please.
With a little Love ,
Jess

:: 2005 27 October :: 10.16pm

im gonna fucking throw up. i am freaking out so bad. so fucking bad. its not even fucking fair.

(ONE)

:: 2005 27 October :: 9.46pm

i totally forgot to mention- i'm going to see the best fucking entertainer tomorrow night.
ben folds here i come

for the THIRD TIME!! woooooo!

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:: 2005 27 October :: 8.12pm

god i fucking swear i can't wait till i get to move out of here. there's no reason to be here. no fucking point and i can't wait until i'm gone and never see any of you assholes again.