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rayray

:: 2010 19 May :: 1.58pm
:: Music: Life After You - Daughtry

I used to think that I was going to be one of those people that lived alone with 50 million cats and grew old by myself.
Apparently, someone else had a different plan for me.
I never imagined myself being pregnant. Always swore it off and said it wasn't going to happen.
And no, I am not that girl that says "OMG! How did this happen?"
But something about being pregnant has changed me, other than the obvious things.
My outlook on life hasn't really changed, yet.
I still think the world is cruel, people are selfish, and I am more scared to raise a child in this world than I am to live the rest of my life in it.

I had to work my way up to taking a pregnancy test.
I was scared for the result, I had my hopes up for both possible answers.
Part of me knew what the test was going to say, but a piece of me doubted it.
Then for the next few weeks, it didn't seem real to me at all.
The only thing different in my life, was that I hadn't had a period and I didn't crave mountain dew.
At my 11 week appointment, the situation changed. I heard the heartbeat for the first time, and my hear grew a million sizes.
I knew it was real, but it still didn't feel real.
Since then, I have had cravings, ripped the ass out of my favorite jeans, cried an immense amount of tears about my pants not fitting, and grown out of all of my bra's in a weeks time.
I am becoming more annoyed with people, and have been having dreams that make it seem like I am smoking crack before I go to bed.

I had my 15 week appointment today.
I heard the heartbeat again, had blood drawn to test the baby for certain things, and scheduled my ultrasound.
Now things are becoming even more real.

I cannot wait to meet this little nugget.
I joke about my fears of ginormous ears, and reddish hair.
Now my BIGGEST fears are, that my child will hate me, be as shallow, selfish, emotional, and messed up as me.
I HOPE that my child is as athletic as his/her dad, as smart/funny as me, but knows that it has a HUGE family from both sides that will love him/her unconditionally no matter what.

I know I can't be a perfect parent, but I just want to be a good one.
I want my kid to understand that it's not always what you have in life that counts.

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 19 May :: 12.24am

We are now settled into the new house. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, especially because I ended the relationship with RJ. He was a great guy, but it wasn't going to work out for a few reasons, so I cut it short. But, had my 18th birthday Monday, it was a pretty good day. Had Mike and Jenny over for dinner, then went out after that. Got dry humped by Neilee, Highlight of my night. HaHa. But, gonna go. Bye.

[x]


spud

:: 2010 18 May :: 11.24am

wtf, mate

been feeling really weird and detached the past couple of days. not sure why. been more sober than usual (though still not completely) so maybe that's part of it. also, my dear seester is gonna be sixteen in a couple days. makes me feel fucking old.

also also, still no job. sucks ducks, man. need a job. handyman scheduled me for like 2 hours on friday this week. awesome. there's 10 dollars that i'll see in two weeks. fucking bullshit.

just not feeling very enthused about much of anything in general. would like to be excited about something - anything - soon, very soon.

4 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 13 May :: 9.51am

He's Captain America, not Captain Government.

7 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 7 May :: 3.13am

Spoiler Alert: Tony Stark finds the Green Lantern's crossbow in New Mexico at the end of Iron Man 2.

13 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2010 27 April :: 5.19pm

i need to go do something. that way, i'll have something to write about when i come back.

because, even if i embellish it, my day to day life is pretty bland most of the time.

4 Open Fire | [x]


acidtears

:: 2010 26 April :: 12.52pm
:: Mood: ecstatic

Samantha Lynn Dresden went from being single to in a relationship with Roger Drayton. LIKE! :)

[x]


spud

:: 2010 24 April :: 1.31pm
:: Mood: mellow

o rly?

i did a thing! new journal stylez for the elite blogging community that is woohu. look at all the pretty colors.

4 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 21 April :: 12.00am

Iron Man Deuce on IMAX at midnight premiere

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 19 April :: 7.37am

Look what I found

2 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 18 April :: 2.41am

someone get me 8 grand so I can buy this
Read more..

6 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 15 April :: 8.28am

[x]


rayray

:: 2010 10 April :: 6.43pm

I seriously wish naming a child was as easy as naming a dog.
I also seriously think that if I have a boy, he will end up named after a fighter from UFC..
Any suggestions?

9 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2010 7 April :: 1.55am
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: 311 - Evolver

:: The Insanity

This weekend was interesting. Between an all-night film shoot sound recording and easter with the fam, many an adventure were had.

and suddenly handyman has an interest in my unique skills again. which invariably means carting tools around for bruce all day tomorrow on virtually no sleep, and then cleaning out some gutters in the rain on thursday. hot damn.

had some nice talks with chuck tonight about theoretical physics as relating to music instruction, and hippie philosophy pertaining to government. Verdict: M-Theory and Anarchy, respectively.

and i made friends this weekend. i had a good time, and i think the shoot went well. it was an interesting set to be on, for any one of multiple reasons. regardless of why, i'm glad that i took the opportunity to contribute and take part in the experience. definitely worthwhile, despite the hardships it presented.

i need to quit smoking and start lifting again. and riding my bike more. optimism regarding anything resembling a "beach bod" is scarce, but at the very least, i know i would feel better about life in general if i made the extra effort to take care of myself at least a little. which, unfortunately, includes sleeping. this weekend was fun, but i'd like to feel a little more human again, and be on something closer to a normal sleep schedule. well, here goes nothing... 'night y'all.

3 Open Fire | [x]


acidtears

:: 2010 5 April :: 12.34am

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 4 April :: 6.41pm

semi tire pwnt

2 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 1 April :: 6.22pm

The Company Band - Who Else but Us?
Rocky Erickson said to me,
"You can trust acid before the C.I.A."
Chairmen of the Waterboard, Let us come to disorder.
It's enough to make a believer,
The Cleavers seek reeducation.

[x]


spud

:: 2010 1 April :: 2.05pm
:: Mood: foolish
:: Music: beyonce - single ladies

unixkcd
for self reference: Read more..

guest@xkcd:/$ cat welcome.txt
Welcome to the unixkcd console.
To navigate the comics, enter "next", "prev", "first", "last", "display", or "random".
Use "ls" and "cat" to navigate the filesystem.
guest@xkcd:/$ ls
* welcome.txt
* license.txt
* blag/
* blog/
* fora/
* forums/
* store/
* about/
guest@xkcd:/$ cat
You're a kitty!

2 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2010 30 March :: 2.47am

once upon a time, i used to be fit.

it's hard to really nail down and pinpoint an exact moment, but i'm fully confident it happened. at least once. i often wonder if it will ever happen again.

i think it was sometime in college when i didn't just eat whenever i got hungry. i ate when people gave me food.

[x]


rayray

:: 2010 26 March :: 11.35pm

They say things happen for a reason, but why do bad things happen to good people?
I am excited about being pregnant.
I was even more excited that I was going to have someone to share my pregnancy with, and was even more excited that, that person was going to be my sister.
I wanted to have that bond with her, and have a child the same age as hers.
That way even though they weren't siblings, my child would still have a cousin the same age to grow up with. Someone close in age with him/her, like I didn't really have.
However, God had a different plan.
My sister had a miscarriage yesterday morning.
She is completely heartbroken, and I want to do everything I can to take away her pain.
I don't know how to console her, or help her through this, and that hurts me.
Reading her blog about the events that took place yesterday tore me apart inside.
It has been a half an hour since I read it, and I still have not managed to find a way to stop my own tears.

There are so many emotions that I have running through me right now, that I don't even know where to begin to try and seperate them, and work through them.

I just really wish I could be there with her and help her through this..

2 Open Fire | [x]


jayzulla

:: 2010 26 March :: 12.25am
:: Music: BIGGIE - Mo Money, Mo problems

Whoa.......where am I? This isnt facebook....

2 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2010 23 March :: 10.17pm

just in case you were looking to buy some beginner drums:

i figure a 5 piece set (snare, bass, and three toms) is standard rock drums. 4 piece (only 2 toms) is more of a jazz thing. but if you get the 5, you can always just pull one off, and bam, 4 piece. so i'd recommend 5.

now that an arrangement is settled upon, there are only a few key factors that make one set different from (better than) another:
-shells (wood type, number of plies, construction methods)
-hardware (lugs, rims, pedals, stands, and mounting brackets)
-heads
-cymbals

as far as shells go, most starter kits are a mixture of birch and whatever else they have lying around in the factory. for your purposes, i doubt it will matter. but if you want something that will be durable, stay reasonably tuned, and sound good enough for a practice set, i would go with no less than 6-ply, regardless of what kind of wood it is. preferably 8 or more, especially on the bass and snare drums (unless it's a steel snare, which is fine too. wood sounds nicer, but steel is usually a little cheaper).

hardware. now, this one here is a bitch. because it's hard to tell online how sturdy or rattly or user-friendly the hardware is. as a general rule, you get what you pay for. which means, in the $400-500 range, it's probably gonna be pretty chinsy. there's pretty much no way around that, other than spending more money, which is obviously not an option. you're just gonna have to deal. my personal opinion: pearl, gretsch and ludwig are going to have the best hardware. i would stick to those. i don't have enough experience with ddrums to know for sure, but i'll give them the benefit of the doubt. they're probably right there with tama or pacific/PDP, which is also fine. but i would stick to the main brands. they are tried and true, and have enough experience to make decent drums on the cheap.

factory heads are always crap. i say let the boy beat the hell out of 'em until they are dead. at which point i can help you pick out some better quality replacements.

the story is similar on cymbals. if it's an entry-level set that includes cymbals in the package, it'll likely be near to banging on trash can lids. again, just beat 'em up, and when it comes time for new ones, i can help you shop around. the only problem is that some of these sets do not come with cymbals. i would almost prefer this, just so you could pick out something a little better from a company that does cymbals specifically (it's more art than science), but this will add on to the overall expense, as it is above and beyond the cost of the set itself.

here's what i found:
Ludwig Accent - http://www.zzounds.com/item--LUDLC125
this guy is pretty solid. the measurements are average: 22" bass, 14" snare, 12" 13" and 16" toms. sometimes they'll have a 14" instead of 13", but that's less common. i like that the stands are double-braced. the other hardware is decent. it doesn't tell you how thick the shells are, but i'm guessing 6 ply all around. all in all it's $400 for absolutely everything you need other than sticks and cymbals. and on the side they have a feature that says for $560 you can get some beginner zildjian cymbals to go along with it. yeah, it's $160 for a pair of hats and a crash/ride, but that's really not too bad, considering. paiste also makes some good cymbals at reasonable prices, but they won't be any better or cheaper than this package deal.

DDrums D2 - http://www.zzounds.com/item--DEPD2
this one will probably be the most attractive to you, as it is a self-contained setup, including cymbals, for $400. i don't have any personal experience with this brand, and can pretty much guarantee the cymbals are garbage, but hey. it's drums, it's cheap. i think it would serve your purposes plenty well enough, although i would consider it a step down from the ludwig. cymbals and heads can always be upgraded later, and this at least is a decent foundation to start from. Note: 9 ply mahogany is an interesting choice. definitely durable, maybe not as resonant. also, this has a 10-12-16 tom arrangement, instead of the 12-13-16 mentioned earlier. nothing wrong with that, just different. the more i look at this set, the more i like it.

Ludwig Pinnacle - http://www.zzounds.com/item--LUDP5K
this is another ludwig set. which means the hardware is exactly the same as the $400 set. why does it cost $450, then? because the shells are slightly beefier, and made out of a different kind of wood. and because this one includes some trashy cymbals. but, once again, it's a good foundation, and you've got the whole shabang, ready to rock for under five benjamins.

my feelings won't be hurt if you choose something else, but those were the strongest contenders i could find. and hopefully you feel comfortable enough now to know what sort of things you need to be looking for in order to find the right match for you.

by the same token, sticks are a very intimate part of the experience, and there's no right or wrong choice. you just have to go into a music store, get your hands dirty, and figure out what feels good to you. lately i've been coming back to the vic firth SD1s, which i hadn't used since i bought my first pair back in middle school. but they're a nice middle of the road stick, with a short taper and a ball tip. and it's what most classically trained drummers would have their students start out on. i like wood tips, as i feel they're less prone to breakage, but nylon tips sound much better on the cymbals. i just have this problem with nylon tips shattering and flying off, rendering an otherwise healthy stick useless, unless you have tomato plants or something to use them in. could just be me though.

[x]


spud

:: 2010 23 March :: 5.14am

iTunes library

over 5,000 songs; 25 gigs and counting.

this thing is getting out of control.

it's almost easier at this point to have something specific in mind to search for, as opposed to browsing it alphabetically. it's just too overwhelming.

but eventually it will be complete and fully up to date. at which point, i will be a happy boy.

: :

and then the drive will crash.

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 17 March :: 7.23am

If the government thinks they are going to tell me what I should eat, bunch of fucking homos.

2 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2010 12 March :: 10.41pm

it is a tenuous thread to which we cling.

that thread is the moment. that moment is life. we live in the present tense.

and yet, somehow, none of us is able to quite realize it at the time. you look back and say, "oh yeah, hey - look - we did a thing there just then!" that thing was a moment. a point in time at which you were doing that one thing with those one people. that was a good time. hell, even if it was a bad time, you still remember it. and it is something you share. memories have this unnerving propensity to decay over time. and that decay - that shelf life - is what gives those memories their value. valuable moreso for being unique to the individuals involved, and the lack of likelihood of their passing it on to a second party, and that party's then furthering the cause.

memories die over the ages. it seems sad that we only mourn them post-mortem.

that is why when i die there better be a fuckin' party. because i want the only thing people to be able to remember is that it was a hell of a good time. in homage to a life of good times.

2 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2010 10 March :: 2.34pm

why the fuck don't i have a job?

it might have something to do with the current recession.

or it could just be that i live in michigan, and it snows a lot. i didn't realize that our frequent snowstorms were part of the economic turbulence.

then again, if you follow THEIR snowstorms link, it takes you to a page that references monthly surveys of businesses and households. at which point all of the statistics and graphs and bullshit they can muster don't apply to me, simply because i've lived here for two years and not once have gotten asked by any survey whether or not i am gainfully employed.

i always hated stats. calculus just makes so much more sense.

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 7 March :: 5.30pm

To add to awesome weekend, started the cycle back up today and went for a drive.

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 7 March :: 1.27pm

Barricade

2 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 6 March :: 4.00pm

Ford man now, will post later.

[x]


spud

:: 2010 4 March :: 1.01am

so yeah. think i have a cold of some sort. that's pretty bitchin'. shan tomorrow, dad friday, kevie-poo early next week. weekend's pretty open, but the neighbors might be having a fire. that'd be fun. i like fire. and stars.

actually, i made a very important (personally) discovery tonight about the stars that i often look at. if you know the constellations cassiopeia and orion, then you can find what i'm talking about. because right in between them, there is this weird curvy group of stars. these are all visible to the naked eye on a clear night. when i first saw it, i was most struck by its resemblance to a parabolic curve. and ever since then i've wanted to figure out what constellation it is, and if i could find a mathematical equation for the curve that would best fit that group of stars (have them all be on or very near it). i'm lazy so it'll probably never happen. and i'm discouraged by the likelihood that someone else has already beat me to the punch. anyway, i discovered tonight (through the use of these programs) that the stars i was looking at belong primarily to the constellation perseus. obviously, there are some stars of perseus that i have omitted from "my" grouping, and may have stolen one or two from somewhere else, but it's still a cool pattern.

but now i'm pissed because the entire time i was trying to watch for perseid meteors, i had no idea where in the sky to look. i guess now i know for the next time. but it's frustrating that i would have been able to, had i known the name of the constellation i've been looking at for the past couple of years already. but now i do, so there.

5 Open Fire | [x]

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