home | profile | guestbook


You would kill for this, Just a little bit, You would...

recent entries | past entries


rayray

:: 2009 30 March :: 5.13pm

I feel like all my friends worlds are falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it..
How fucking shitty..

1 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 29 March :: 12.00am

Sometimes you bite the bar and sometimes it bites you.

[x]


rayray

:: 2009 28 March :: 6.22pm

Bowled a 300 on wii!!

1 Open Fire | [x]


rayray

:: 2009 27 March :: 11.42am

So I took a day off work to recooperate.
Work killed me yesterday, and I can seriously barely move.
I pulled a muscle in my right knee.
Of course it has to be the one that I had surgery on a few years back, not the one that doesn't ever hurt.. Go figure.

I am waiting for a reply back from some people about a washer and dryer.. Hopefully that happens this weekend too, and we can get that.

I had a dream last night, that everyone I used to hang out with from Cedar, showed up at my house in a grey school bus..

So apparently, my sister isn't coming up for two weeks now..

5 Open Fire | [x]


acidtears

:: 2009 27 March :: 8.47am
:: Mood: content

Laugh. Smile. Sigh.
Lately I've been making my posts friends only. I'm not quite sure why. I think it could be because I'm paranoid and I don't want my mom or anyone aside from my friends on here to know how giddy I am. And when I say giddy, I mean as giddy as a damn school girl. HaHa.

Last night me and my mom went to Family Fare to get some milk and what not. We ended up seeing the clearance area and ran for it. HaHa. Mom found these Starbucks Chocolates that were on sale, and we had a coupon on top of that discount. So, for Starbucks, it was cheap. She hated my favourite chocolate. I love, LOVE the Mocha Dark Chocolate. It's my favourite kind of chocolate and there's coffee grounds in it that taste like mocha. My mom thought it was disgusting, and found it even more disgusting when I ate and enjoyed the Coffee ground chocolate. HaHa. So, I ate pretty much all of those kinds out of the "Sampler".

Right now, it is 8:25 in the morning, and Ava is sick. So, she's very whiney, she keeps getting a fever, she's coughing up her lungs, and she can't sleep. She woke up not too long ago. I was hoping with her being sick and all, she would want to try and sleep, I was wrong for hoping that. But, for a little bit this morning she was mad at me. She kept yelling at me and repeated the phrase "You didn't hear me!". I wish I could answer your "What the hell does that mean?" question, but I myself have no clue what-so-ever. Right now, however, we are all buddy buddy right now, she's on my lap kissing my cheek and asking which of my arms hurts. And it's off to the couch to watch "Monsters Inc." for her.

But, the weekend is here, and I'm excited. Even though me and Brie got into a little spat yesterday about my weekend leaving. She says I should stay home for a weekend and I need to help out more. I don't know what the hell her problem is, but I help out as much as I can. I am sort of limited, however. I can't lift anything heavy, I can't really pick much up off the ground, I can't even stir hamburger, and if I fold too much laundry, my shoulder gets it's own pulse. I am here all week long, which yes, is my fault and choice because of dropping out. But, I need social interaction too, and the weekend is pretty much my only time to do it. Then afterwards she tells me "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude or bitchy, I'm just trying not to cry". I told her she didn't need to take it out on everyone else. Because I wasn't the only victim to fall prey to her "I'm bitching everyone out and bossing them around because I'm trying not to cry". She was yelling at Tanna for not doing things quick enough or up to her standards. She was screaming about how Dylan should be up here, not in the basement playing the PS2. It was ridiculous. And I'm going to piss her off even more, by leaving this weekend. I'm never even gone for a whole 24 hours, that's the thing. I leave sometime after dark, then I come home anywhere from 10am-1pm the next day. Not even 24 fucking hours. And before I leave, I usually make sure everything's handled and going smoothly. If things are a mess and Ava is screaming, I try to do my best to calm her down and straighten things out. I'm not some fucking robot that can just stay home all week and then stay home on the weekends. She brings up the High School drop out thing all the time, and how that is why I don't have a social life. WRONG. I didn't have a social life while I was in school either. I've been an anti-social person for a long time, and I'm starting to get a life back. So, excuse me for being inside all week while everyone else is leaving and having fun, but I am not staying home on the weekends. I think she's also just bitching at me about leaving because she can't leave. She's grounded and will stay that way for another week and a half or so, so she's just pissed off because she can't leave for the moment.

Anyway, I'm going to stop bitching and end this here before I ramble and it gets too long. Bye.

-Samm

[x]


acidtears

:: 2009 26 March :: 7.55am
:: Mood: content

Early mornings.
Well, it's around 7:45am right now, and I want to talk to Darin, but MSN messenger is not working for some reason. I would call him, but the fact that we are 3 hours or so ahead of Arizona makes it difficult. He has school, so, I'm not going to call him and ruin his sleeping at 4:45 his time. I know I would hate it if someone called me that early. HaHa. He told me yesterday that if I was up early and wanted to talk to just call him, but, I'm not going to interupt his sleep. Luckily he gets let out of school earlier than the rest of them do, he gets let our around 1 or so because of work release. He has all of his credits, and his last 2 classes would be pointless. We were talking on the phone yesterday. It's like every time we talk on the phone, the conversations get longer and longer. It went from 30 minutes to 45 minutes yesterday. I'm not complaining though, I love talking to him on the phone. Hearing his voice say all these sweet things about me maks me happy. Especially because I don't initiate his little ramble about "You're gorgeous, Samm. You're so sweet and beautiful", but he says them because he feels like it. His voice is a comfort and it brings a smile to my face every time we talk. He even makes me giggle, HaHa. He noticed my giggle way before I even did. I felt like a dork from then on. He told me it's cute though, but, I'm still going to try and keep it minimal. But, it's about that time where I wake up Ava and get her ready school, then later Jenny's coming over. So, at least there's something to look forward to. HaHa. Bye. :]

-Samm

10 Open Fire | [x]


acidtears

:: 2009 25 March :: 10.37am
:: Mood: contemplative

Contemplative, yet content.
Well, things have been going great for the past couple days. I watched the Twilight movie for the first time the other day. It was surprisingly good for a movie made from a book. Of course, they left some stuff out, but, what booke based movie doesn't leave things out. But, it was good overall. And update on the guy situation. HaHa. Well, I've been talking to this guy Darin for a while. I met him through Brendon. I never thought of Darin like that before, ever. But, the other night, we just got to talking, and I saw him in a different way than before. I realised he would be a great boyfriend. We like each other, long story short. But, there is a teeny tiny distance problem. Actually, when you look at it, it's not so teeny tiny. HaHa. I am in Michigan and he lives in...Arizona. So, it's a bit of a problem. I told him I didn't know how I would be able to handle the distance, but I heard(not from Darin) that he apparently has enough funds to visit. I just wish he wasn't so far away. Maybe if he was in Ohio or something, then I wouldn't have to think about it twice. But, when he's in Arizona, I have been thinking about it too much. I am overthinking, which I do all the time. I overanalyze possible relationships all the time, even when the guy is in the same town. He also plans on joining the National Guard. But, there's just so much to like about him. He's 18, around 6 ft. tall, Brown hair, Blue eyes, very muscular, etc. I know he's real, yes. It's not like I've never kind of seen him before. It's not just pictures. There's been webcam a few times, then just yesterday we talked on the phone for the first time. The entire phone conversation and even after we stopped talking, I couldn't stop smiling. Brie even noticed. She said "Aww, Sammie's happy. Maybe she should talk to Darin more often." And I agree with her. But, I've been in a great mood since me and him started talking to each other in a different way from being friends. He's sweet, hilarious, cute, HOT voice(HaHa. I wasn't looking for that, but, it's a bonus), he's honest, he helps me out, etc. He's just as close to perfect for me as anyone can be. He makes me happy. I just wish there wasn't so much of a distance between us. He'll be coming a little closer eventually. He said he'll be going to Missouri, but that's for training for the National Guard. But, amybe we can make this work, who knows? But right now, I'm going to enjoy this and smile and laugh. I'm doing both of those more often now. But, I have to get ready for Physical Therapy. Bye. :]

-Samm
Let the fun begin! HaHa.

2 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 24 March :: 6.53pm

stepbrothers is a movie about my brother and I, I am convinced of this

6 Open Fire | [x]


rayray

:: 2009 23 March :: 7.09pm

After a long stressful week filled with 4 weeks worth of homework, a couple of exams, work, and very little sleep, I managed to come out alive.
I also survived a weekend that was filled with a 10 year old for the weekend, a barbeque, major cleaning, lots of wii bowling/golf/tennis and a trip to the movies.

Race to Witch Mountain, wasn't the greatest.

I have a PowerPoint presentation to work on, but I lack all sense of creativity.
Isn't it lovely how that works out?
It's like a vicious cycle.
Once I finish one workload, I get another thrown at me.

Not to mention, I need to figure out if I want to take classes this summer..
But it would also be nice to know what is going to happen once May comes..
My whole world will be up in a whirlwind then.

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 20 March :: 12.57am

saw a guy's truck that had a Stroh's license plate today in Cedar.

FUCK YEAH STROH'S

3 Open Fire | [x]


acidtears

:: 2009 20 March :: 1.00am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: "Eyes on Fire" by: Blue Foundation

Bleh Bleh Bleh.
Well, I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. I didn't get to drink, I went to Physical Therapy though. It was the worst appointment of them all. I had a different lady doing my arm stretching. She put me in so much pain, it was ridiculous. Then my friend Jesse came over yesterday and he forgot about my arm completely, and he got a bit too rambuncious and was shaking my arm and grabbing at my shoulder. So, my arm felt like it had a pulse after that. It was just throbbing and ice was not doing anything for it. Just giving me shivers. It's a little better today though. But, I also want to thank Jenny again for taking me to my appointment. THANK YOU JENNY! :] HaHa. But, the weekend will be here shortly and I plan on going out and having fun. I also did some organizing in my room earlier. I felt very productive. I cleaned the dining room and folded laundry, then continued with the sudden burst of energy up to my room. Where I switched out some pictures that were in frames, hung my dresses up, cleaned/organized some of the junk under my bed, organized my books, etc. It was amazing how much I did actually. I was pretty impressed with myself. HaHa. But, I haven't had much going on since I updated last. It's been a sort of boring week. So, I'm going to end this entry here due to having no life and therefore nothing to write about. HaHa. Bye.

-Samm

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 17 March :: 1.41am

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 16 March :: 5.53pm

I'm going to the museum in one of the following weeks for my sociology class. anyone interested in going to the museum with me?

7 Open Fire | [x]


jayzulla

:: 2009 15 March :: 5.30pm

If anyone knows anyone looking for a high grade paintball gun im selling mine for 400, which is a pretty good deal consdering i had it sold for 550 but my buyer backed out. i need to sell it fast.

6 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2009 15 March :: 1.39pm

i have a perhaps unhealthy interest in bathroom graffiti.

but you have to admit, the progression here is truly something special (yes, i do return to the same bathrooms, and since i'm there, i'll check out what's new):
1. CUNT
2. my CUNTry tis of thee!
3. my CoUNTry tis of thee!

three visits - each with a new update.

now, bear in mind, this was on a divider between the urinals.

knowing that, how creepy would it be if you were the one standing at the urinal, and someone in one of the stalls STARTED SINGING THAT SONG while you were standing there.

i would probably lose my shit.

------------
edit:

plain white ts show tonight. pretty stoked about that. yes, my vag may even be tingling a little. either that, or it's my purity ring acting up again.

5 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 15 March :: 1.35pm

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 12 March :: 2.35pm

nostalgia

7 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 12 March :: 2.02am

Epic night at Northfield, all I can say is <3 boobays

[x]


acidtears

:: 2009 11 March :: 3.10pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: "Halo" By: Beyonce

Arts and Crafts like never before
Lately I have felt nothing but the want and need to paint. I don't really want to paint on paper, but it's been more directed to wooden craft kits. And a lamp. I painted a wooden spring decoration that has a dragonfly, butterfly, and some flowers on it. It's hanging on our front door. Then I also painted an Easter decoration. It has a Banner that I painted baby blue then I painted "Happy Easter" on it and in the craft kit came three wooden shapes of carrots. I painted those and I put it all together. That will be on our front door when Easter gets closer. Mom's very proud of the job I did. She told me the Easter one looks as though a professional did it. Then Yesterday we went to The Serice Center, and I got a black desk lamp and painted it. The theme of the painting/colours on it are the Sea/Ocean. I painted Sea Gulls on it, a rock with waves crashing around it, the ocean itself, and clouds. I like it. I am feeling the need to paint right now too, but I don't have much paint left, so I have to save it. That and I don't really have anything to paint. I am definitely looking forward to possibly going back and getting more wooden signs/boxes to paint. My Great-Grandma DeVries also gave me a fiber optic Angel/Fairy last night. It's gorgeous, there's flowers, a waterfall(the fiber optics are in that spot), of course the Faiy/Angel, and then 2 children. I love it. And she's making me a blanket. The colours are going to be a peach colour and then a deep burgundy. She says she is giving each Grandchild and Great-Grandchild one. So, I am lookin forward to getting mine. But, I better go. Bye.

-Samm

4 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2009 9 March :: 8.59pm
:: Mood: shiny

i really enjoy the fact that, whenever i have to compose an "official" message or something for a group i am with, it always starts out very prim and proper, but right near the end of it the professionalism diminishes rapidly.

it's probably not a good thing, but i'm amused. because i feel like i'm a lot funnier when i'm unnofficial.

it just goes to show you how delusional some people can be.

[x]


rayray

:: 2009 9 March :: 7.17pm

So I just read like 300 and some of my passed entries.
And I can't believe how lame they all are.
I wish I could just turn my mind off sometimes..

3 Open Fire | [x]


spud

:: 2009 9 March :: 2.12am
:: Music: black sabbath - paranoid



i think the interesting part here is not my inane banter, but the fact that japan even confuses facebook.

i have now transcended the time-space continuum, through the simple act of having written something tomorrow.

it makes me almost feel like i accomplished something today.

well, i did talk to dad. and i talked to becca's guy about playing drums in a band, like with actual gigs and stuff. seems pretty exciting. i guess we'll see what wednesday brings. and i worked for a few hours, rather unexpectedly. gotta love management.

1 Open Fire | [x]


jayzulla

:: 2009 8 March :: 4.03pm

UFC was awesome last night. lots of killer kos. the next 2 are gonna be sweet as hell. anderson defends his belt and goes for a ufc record, 9 consecutive wins in the ufc, which he is still undefeated in. then after that rampage and rashad are gonna fight, which is going to be fantastic.

[x]


rayray

:: 2009 8 March :: 1.40pm

I don't even know where to begin..

6 Open Fire | [x]


rayray

:: 2009 7 March :: 2.03pm

I really wish that the drama would just stay as far away from me as it could.
I absolutely hate it.
I hate it when people say anything that involves my boyfriend cheating on me.
Especially when we are barely apart, and he really doesn't have time to cheat.
It literally makes me sick to my stomach when someone says those words.
I instantly get tears in my eyes, and my stomach gets knotted up and I can't swallow.
It doesn't happen because I feel like I can't trust him.
And even though I know I can trust him, it still gets my mind thinking, well can I really trust him, how faithful is he, has he done it before, who is it..
It happens because I care so fucking much about him, and the thought of it eats me up inside, because I already don't feel good enough for him.
The thought of losing him kills me inside and I feel like my whole world is crashing and burning right before my eyes and there is nothing I can do about it.

I swear I go through this atleast 5 times a year, at minimum.
Where someone says he is cheating, or that he made a move on them, or something that involves him and another girl.

People fucking suck.
And they are lucky I'm not completely crazy.

4 Open Fire | [x]


rayray

:: 2009 6 March :: 2.29pm

I hate when my friends are all unhappy and their worlds are all falling apart.
The selfish part of me hates it, because it makes me reflect on my life.
The unselfish part of me hates it, because I hate watching my friends go through all that crap.

The only unhappy thing I have to look back on right now, is the fact that I have had a migraine for 2 almost 3 days now, and nothing is relieving the pain.
That and my cat is a bitch. I love her, I really do, but she needs a new home.

4 Open Fire | [x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 6 March :: 10.19am

go see The Watchmen now

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2009 5 March :: 4.07am

The Watchmen

seeing The Comedian, I see a lot of myself. hmm, he's not really a good guy.

1 Open Fire | [x]


acidtears

:: 2009 4 March :: 12.37pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "Eyes on Fire" By: Blue Foundation

Lazy Samm's Back.
Well, mom keeps waking me up early every morning. Strangely it seems to be an hour later each day. Monday- 6:30. Tuesday- 7:30. Wednesday- 8:30. Weird, but she says that I can't continue to sleep the days away anymore. Oh well. I guess she's right. But, more and more, I don't feel like waking up or leaving the house. I want to hang out, but, I just don't really feel like leaving. Weird, because just a week ago I was dying to get out of my house, and now I'm back to being a hermit crab. I haven't left the house for anything since Saturday. I'm not looking forward to next Monday though. That's the first Physical Therapy appointment. Gahh. Oh well. I don't have much to talk about. I've just been laying around, smoking cigarettes, watching Dane Cook, listening to music, and reading. Bye.



[x]


jayzulla

:: 2009 3 March :: 1.56am

Whoa.... its been a few days
Yawn, i am fuckin tired. I still have enough energy to post though.

MSU has clinched the big ten title and only needs one more win to secure them as the full blown winners. and considering they play indiana (1-15 big ten record, the worst team) next it should be a gravy train to that title. cant wait to get my bracket for march madness, maybe ill actually win some money this year!

When i was making my way home the other night, i saw a car in the cemetary parking lot. this cemetary is only about 200 feet up the road from my house so i was wondering what in the hell they were doing there at 12:30 at night. as i drive by i notice that there is a fucking fire in the cemetary! i go home wait about 10 minutes, and here comes the fire truck roaring by. needless to say didnt appear that much was damaged, but still pretty crazy. i assume it was a pagen sacrifical ritual where a goats blood had been spilled in the hopes someones loved one would return to them. Fucking cultist.

Edit: I got pretty sweet at street fighter 4. pretty dope game. however, if you get pissed off when you lose in fighting games, i suggest getting high before you play. you might want to break a controller otherwise. ^^

2 Open Fire | [x]

Woohu.com | Random Journal