You would kill for this, Just a little bit, You would...

:: 2009 1 February :: 3.58am

Cult of personality

:: 2009 30 January :: 5.09pm

So it has been kind of a rough week for some, pretty normal for others, and for the rest of us certain events really had no effect.
Mike's cousin killed himself on monday.
No one is really quite sure why, but there have been accusations made.
He left a couple of notes, but things are still pretty up in the air.
Today was the funeral. Not really much crying, but then again most of the family had earlier in the week to cope with the death and slowly piece themselves together for the funeral.

Shit happens I guess..

:: 2009 30 January :: 5.02am

Dear Jess,
I don't really know how to tell you this, You're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your apartment and I saw you carve your initials into my knee caps . I'm sure you're open enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your car to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and thanks for the cocaine.

Please don't hurt me,
Phil

Jessica says:
Duuuude I drank half the bottle because it wasn't working and now I can't see straight if I move my head too fast
Phil-Himself as "The Creeper" says:
thats neat
Phil-Himself as "The Creeper" says:
i like doin that
Jessica says:
yeah but it just kinda hit me.. and now I'm all like.. whoas.
Phil-Himself as "The Creeper" says:
thats what nyquil does

:: 2009 29 January :: 11.53pm

gettin' drunk. playin' vidya games.

8 Open Fire | [x]

acidtears

:: 2009 28 January :: 4.36pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Ted Nugent(BAMF)

Tomorrow.
So, tomorrow is the surgery day. My mom and I have to leave here anywhere from 5:30-5:45am. Gahh! I am very thankful for Jess though. She went and got me some m&m's, snickers, a sierra mist, and a card. She didn't tell me, probably because she knew I would protest. HaHa. Oh, and thank you Alex for your little tid bit in the card. HaHa. Thank you to those who are hoping the best for me.

Jess,
Thank you so much for everything, and that card is the best card ever! HaHa. And don't worry, I will definitely give you directions to my grandma's house so you can come hang out with me. I might just be bumming around in sweats and an over sized flannel shirt, but we can still have fun. And if Alex doesn't read this, tell the sympathy freeloader I said thanks as well. HaHa. And we definitely need to celebrate when I am fully healed. Fo Sho! But, even though it was only yesterday that you stopped by, I miss you already. But, better be off. Bye.

P.S.- I will enjoy the pain killers, babe. HaHa.

Jess's Lovey, Samm

7 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 25 January :: 11.38pm

I wanted somewhere to hang my head without your noose.

:: 2009 24 January :: 3.19am

Death Magnetic I enjoy, really like Unforgiven III it speaks to me

Also Frost/Nixon was very awesome.

acidtears

:: 2009 21 January :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: "If I ever leave this world alive" By: Flogging Molly

Shoulder
Well, the other night I was joking around with my brother, and went to lightly punch him. While my arm was in mid air, no force applied, my shoulder popped completely out. It felt like a shoulder cramp, like when you get a charlie horse in your leg, but when I looked over, it looked disgusting. The top part of shoulder was over by my collar bone, and where it should have been was completely caved in. It has happened before, but it always pops right back into place. But, we went to the hospital and after some x-rays, they said that my tendons/ligaments were way too loose. So now, I am wearing a shoulder immobilizer and it sucks. I can't use my right arm at all, and the bone doctor said I can take my arm out of the immobilizer, but when I try, it's too painful, and it feels like my arm is going to pop out again. So, I leave it on. Here comes the worst part...

Next Thursday, January 29th, I have to have shoulder surgery. Yeah. I am not looking forward to that at all. And they said it would take me two months to recover, and on top of that I have to do rehabilitation therapy for my shoulder.

Then, my dad called earlier and apparently my Grandma had a suggestion. She wanted to know if I wanted to stay with her for a few days after my surgery. So, I am thinking about it. It would be nice. I wouldn't have kids or dog's jumping on me or bumping into me. And it is more relaxing there. So, I haven't decided yet, but I am thinking about it. Any opinions here? HaHa.

But, better go. It's hard to type. Just figured I would update, so you don't think I'm dead. HaHa. Bye.

Sincerely,
Cripple

6 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 21 January :: 2.00am

[x]

:: 2009 20 January :: 4.20pm

Funny stuff in madden last night. preview for the super bowl. Samson vs staley cards vs pit. Cards win 38-36. was a good game. hopefully the super bowl will be as much of a barn burner as the game was.

edit. Why did payton get MVp again? he didnt even do that well this year. its bullshit. hes by far and away the best qb in the league right now. its so stupid. i can think of like 5 other qbs that should have gotten it. bullshit.

5 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 20 January :: 2.49pm

Because when I posted it as a comment, apparently it was far too crushing to everyone's overinflated sense of ecstasy this afternoon. Here are some of my favorite clips from Cracked's live blog of the inauguration.

Read more..

Whatever, Guess I'm the asshole.

8 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 19 January :: 4.21pm

See ya Gerge Dubya, I'm gonna miss that crazy fuck

Nevermind, You've reached the end of the line ...

3 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 18 January :: 4.38pm

Right now is one of those moments where a nap didnt cure my bad mood..
So here's to hoping that a bowl of chocolate ice cream covered in chocolate syrup will..

[x]

acidtears

:: 2009 16 January :: 9.49am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Bella's Lullaby

Lately..
I am now on the third book in the Twilight Series. "Eclipse". So far it's a good book, unfortunately I haven't been able to read it much lately. I've been busier than usual. Hopefully this weekend will give me more reading time, or time to hang out. Because I swear, I am going to lose it if I'm forced to stay here all weekend. We were supposed to go with my dad this weekend, but he's going to be in South Carolina. So, maybe I will be able to relax this weekend. I highly doubt that, but, I still hope. Yesterday I had to clean the dining room lamp above the table, I had to clean the chairs in the dining room, and I had to do laundry. I was going to have to do dishes, but since Tanna was the last to do the dishes, her dishes were greasy and still had food on them, which meant I didn't have to do them, she did. I hate dishes. The sad thing is I would rather scrub floors, toilets, and all that deep cleaning stuff instead of do dishes.

So right now, I would definitely rather be somehwere else. Ava is screaming at the top of her lungs, she is trying to hit, kick, and bite me, and I am so sick of it. I am sick of this being what makes up my daily life. Screaming, Kicking, Yelling, Stealing, Biting, Hitting, Cigarettes, Cleaning, and what not. I deal with this everyday, while others sleep in until the afternoon. I wish I could sleep, I wish I had time to read, had time to dream. But I don't. I have to keep my head out of the clouds, or else I will get in trouble. If chores do not get done in a timely fashion, I get bitched out. But, it is pretty hard to do some of these chores, while watching a 3 year old hurricane who can scream so loud it will make your ears bleed. It gets very tiring. And, if I stay here this weekend, I will have to deal with it some more. Because god forbid any of the other kids help with her and the house. God forbid I try to get some much needed sleep. So tonight, I will be begging for an escape. Somewhere else to be; somewhere away from here. I wish there was a place to go on the weekends where not even a phone call can reach me. Somewhere I don't hear "I hate you" on a daily basis from a mouthy toddler. This is why I cannot wait until I become 18. I don't want to grow up, but if it means I can get away from this, then I am ready.

I need to escape, from hell.
Samm

:: 2009 15 January :: 11.23am

Bill had to put down Vader. Thats shitty and it sucks. Everyones animals are dyin : (

Edit : Om gonna cut your name into him.....

6 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 15 January :: 1.32am

Bowling tonight wasn't bad, wasn't great but I bowled my best since I got my new ball.

1)140
2)107
3)129
4)112

And I saw somebody I haven't talked to since I went to KCTC.

spud

:: 2009 14 January :: 1.59am
:: Music: cut tags...........

You Oughtta Know....
1. I put my iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, I pressed the "forward" button to get my answer.
3. I WROTE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDED! I also added some commentary, where I liked.
Read more..

:: 2009 14 January :: 12.23am

I want to play a game

9 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 12 January :: 5.55pm

Maybe if you bitch a little more, he'll get impeached. good hunting.

[x]

:: 2009 12 January :: 1.53pm

This was my windows 7 download speed

cJessicaPyne

:: 2009 12 January :: 12.03am

Dear Isaiah Jakob,
It's been a year and 3 minutes since I found you and lost you all in one moment. I'm going to see your grave today but it's more than that. I come by to say hello all the time and I leave you things, but selfishly keep your lamb and blanket and hats and clothes..

But today is different.
Today is more.

Today is my realization that no matter what, time is going to keep marching by but this will never hurt any less. Nothing will ever feel so right wrapped around my finger than yours. Or my arms around you.

I don't fight the tears anymore.
I'm not ashamed and I'm sorry that I ever was. I'm sorry that it took me a few days to confess to my father, but I was scared, and I'm so sorry.
I know you already knew that. You already knew everything I needed to tell you. One breath was enough, for you, little man.

I'll still always want a million more.

But that's because I'm your mama and I love you and I miss you, and damn it, 8 hours was NOT enough. These pictures, these clothes, these toys, these cards - they get me by. But they're nothing compared to being able to fall asleep with you, even if it was just one night.
I breathed you in and memorized your scent and face and could probably measure out perfectly how long your fingernails were.

Things have changed so much and this world is a mess. Sometimes I'm glad you're there, and not here, because this world sucks and isn't fit for you and your perfection.
If there were some way I could cut to the front of the line and be with you, I would.

Or maybe we'd cut ties and sneak away to string together stars and build our own world, just the two of us. We could race pirate ships to nebulas and back, drink laughter and feast on dreams, and just be happy.

Because Isaiah Jakob, talking to a cold stone and damp grass just isn't working for me.

I see Kaleb and Karis and Emilio and Eliseo run through the house on the holidays and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to see you running along behind them. Or beside them. Or in front. Or maybe you'd do your own thing. Maybe you would rather sit and watch.
I was a watcher too.
Maybe you'd be outgoing, charming the pants off of every lady in every supermarket. Or maybe you'd be shy, covering your face.
Maybe you'd have my curls and pull at them nervously.
I do know you had my lips and my eyes and my nose.
I've pictured them all scrunching up into a smile for so long.
One year and three minutes, to be exact.

Your aunt picked up your Christmas star from the funeral home and gave it to me on New Years. I wrapped it in your blanket and tucked it in your chest.

And I cried just as hard as I'm crying now.

:: 2009 10 January :: 10.20am

For years, I have had dreams that have made me wake up out of a dead sleep and look around wondering if it was actually real or not.

And last night was one of those dreams.

I had a dream that I thought I was pregnant, and then a few days after thinking that, I gave birth to a 3 month old like it was nothing. And of course everyone was in shock, and my landlords filed a complaint for not being informed and I had to sign a contract that if anything ever happened like that again I would be evicted from my house. My friend Sara quit talking to me. And a group of people were standing in a circle doing tattoo's on each other, all while water was being sprayed all over them, and my baby was asleep on the bed like 4 feet away from them. Then, when I took my baby out of that room, I went into a lobby, and the neighbors I grew up next to were there, and one of them would not even look at me because I was holding a baby. And to finish off the dream, Mike and I went to Meijer to buy chocolate chip cookies.

:: 2009 10 January :: 2.07am

Here is my rock band photo for my side project, CRUZ CNTL

5 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 9 January :: 12.49pm

Cant wear skinny jeans cause' my nuts dont fit
The Breslin Center was awesome. Watching the Spartans put a hurtin on OSU was the highlight of the night though. Cannot wait to go again.

Oh yeah, go Gators!

spud

:: 2009 9 January :: 2.36am

hello there, children.

sorry my last entry was so boring. but i was still gratified by the result of my efforts. and considering the length of the finished product, i was pleased by the swiftness with which the endeavor was executed.

"the point is not to see how high you can get."

i should probably start to consider this during my recreational time.

but in case i don't, and you happen to find me dead in a gutter somewhere, please call my mom and tell her that she was right all along. and that i won't be returning her steam cleaner, as i am deceased.

she'll have to pick it up sometime after the visitation.

:: 2009 7 January :: 6.32pm

Information warfare intrigues me very much.

8 Open Fire | [x]

:: 2009 6 January :: 10.51pm

I hate the internet and everyone on it.

5 Open Fire | [x]