godessalthena
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2011 11 September :: 7.05pm
I find it amusing when, at work, when I'm obviously fucking around on my cell phone, people will start talking to me from their desk across the cubicle wall. They'll ask an extremely long winded question and then say my at the end. We havent made eye contact before my name has been said. Once I hear my name I look up and ask them what I can help them with and they respond with a sigh and angry laughter.
Seriously? I obviously wasn't paying attention to you. Why are you mad at me? It's so ridiculous.
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godessalthena
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2011 10 September :: 2.20pm
It's nice to know that he's proud of me.. Even if I'm not following the quickest path to wealth.. I feel like the struggles I'm going through are a really good learning experience.
Now if only I felt like I was succeeding in my life. I hung out with my sister yesterday.. She's growing up to be a gorgeous young lady and I have to admit I'm very jealous.
I feel so boring.. Fat.. Ugly.. I feel like one of the masses. Unremarkable and forgettable. Replaceable. I have no spark left. I have no passions, drive. I do what needs to be done to continue existence, but I'm no longer really living my life..
Though that raises the question if I was ever really living in the first place.
I just don't know what I should be doing. I see my sister with this group of friends who love her and enjoy hanging out with her.. I have nothing like that. I have Emily.. But we're both too busy to ever see each other.
I wish I could be someone people would want to be around. And honestly I don't see what I'm lacking.. Sigh.
I'm tired..
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godessalthena
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2011 8 September :: 3.37pm
I can't fucking win.
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godessalthena
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2011 6 September :: 2.17am
Amelia: n. Failure. n. Waste of time. n. Unending disappointment.
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godessalthena
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2011 5 September :: 12.56am
I look back on my life and I wish so desperately that I had a period I could look back on fondly and say, "I was happy once" but.. Throughout my whole life I've always managed to get fucked over or do the fucking up myself..
I feel as though I'm destined to have nothing but bad memories. Failed attempts to make something more out of my life than suffering. I want to have just an extended period of time where, even if I wasn't exceptionally happy, at least I wasn't miserable either.
I feel like trying is a futile effort. And I want to give up so badly.. But if this is all there is, miserable is better than nothing.
I'm only human. I'm doing the best I can with what is given to me. Is it really too much to just ask for a hand once in a while?
Apparently it honestly is.
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mochababy49319
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2011 27 August :: 2.13pm
My mom sent me a text and asked me to dust with pledge because her wood is getting all dry and scratchy. How I responded? That's what he said
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godessalthena
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2011 26 August :: 4.37pm
All necessary bills caught up.. Rent paid a week early (WITH a motherfucking receipt, learned my lesson).. And enough left over to go out on a much needed date!
Now to decide if we want a movie or a strip club.. Or Irv's. Descisions, descisions! :)
But def getting some sushi! X3 Nom, nom, omnomnom!
Haha also this girl made a HUGE effort to apologize about being a flake and came over, kept talking about how she just wanted to have angry make up sex with whoever she could, and how much her ex hated us, and when we didn't take advantage of her, started completely ignoring us and then removed us from her facebook friends. WTF? this is how I view EVERY Spokane resident. Batshit crazy.
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godessalthena
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2011 23 August :: 3.12pm
Haha I am "the weird chick" at work. I'm pretty sure people are nice to me so I don't kill them when I go postal.
disclaimer: I probably will never go postal since I dont hate anything about my job. Except for the woman who talks about NOTHING BUT her 2 year-old.. A topic I have absolute 0 interest in.
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godessalthena
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2011 20 August :: 11.06pm
Jeff Jag
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godessalthena
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2011 19 August :: 6.13pm
Why is it I can't find anyone to hang out with Wednesday and Thursday, but come Friday everyone and their dog wants to come over??
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godessalthena
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2011 16 August :: 2.02pm
New apartment manager at Village on Broadway.. Amanda Cuntzilla.
I can't begin to say how angry I am.
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godessalthena
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2011 14 August :: 6.48pm
At work.. Got caught up on all my bills :) in a decently happy mood..
Well.. Was.
I hate living here.
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godessalthena
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2011 13 August :: 8.17pm
Grumbly tummy.
Long day is long.
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