I just want to say that weed makes life so wonderful. I wish it was this great for everyone.

I'm so thankful for my friends. they help me learn so much about myself and others. I can't imagine what my life would be like without them.

but I look at the pictures on my wall. and there's this stunning face that isn't in my life anymore... and it makes me sad inside.

I feel like these past few months have been the darkest since I left Sus.. and I just feel a little hollow space in my heart.

I have no fucking clue what to do with my life. and all of my friends are in the same boat. Aimee was induced today. I'm so excited to meet baby Payton, I hope I get to hold her. I want a baby so badly. I think people can see it in my eyes and it scares them. I probably look ravenous.

and then there's Walter. and I'm feeling kinda smitten. and I'm not sure what to do. I feel as though I'm perpetually in limbo. but it's also been a really nice ride.. he's going to come to a band practice and it makes my heart go pitterpat. I wonder what he looks like in real life? he always has white tube socks with black loafers, khaki pants or jeans that are high waters, and then a loose collared shirt or button up. he showed me some of his scars. and tells me about his family and past.. and he is so aligned with me in many metaphysical characteristics.. and he's my type: slender, shorter for a male, with green hazel eyes. and a great smile. and plays the bass. he has this adorable sideways chuckle he does and I just adore it.

ugh I sound like a school girl (god damn it feels good)

I haven't felt like this in a long time.

squee

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