It’s so cool how you can play alive
While we both know that you’re dead inside
Can we stop this defenseless fight?
I’ll walk away, but keep you in sight
And it’d be easier for me to stay
But you’re too hard to tolerate

This life is like a game, that will never end
I’ll wait in the rain, for my time to begin
I’ll call out you’re name, and hear silence again
Nothing can change, if you’re still my friend

I’ve always told myself things will be alright
Keep your head above water and you won’t die
But the world weighs down on me with so much dust
I’m done treading water, I’ve had enough
I need to stop this defenseless fight
But this won’t end no matter how hard I try

It’d be alright if you didn’t hurt everyone
The light is growing so it’s time to run
I’m tired of hiding inside this shade
The sun is coming now, you just wait
This fight has been through a thousand eclipses
And if I had the chance I would never relive it

Looking Back

I can’t stand it when you’re right behind me,
I’m always looking back and finding you there
And seeing you is like time rewinding,
I’m always looking back and finding you there

And my thoughts are useless
Because you control who I am
You’re always hollowing me out
You’re even following me now
I try to escape but I remain here and find
You, like a just like stain on the back of my mind

I can’t stand it when you’re picking my words
I’m always looking back and finding you there
And seeing you just makes this worse
I’m always looking back and finding you there

And my dreams are hopeless
Because you control what I have
You’re always pushing me down
You’re even above me now
I try to break free but I linger and then I’m lost
Just like a memory in the back of my thoughts

I can’t stand it when you’re right behind me,
I’m always looking back and finding you there
And seeing you is like time rewinding,
I’m always looking back and finding you there
I can’t stand it when you’re picking my words
I’m always looking back and finding you there
And seeing you just makes this so much worse
I’m always looking back and finding you there

I started writing and didn't stop, this is the result.
Block waves of meaning, shock this rock craze and deceive me into thinking you have the answer then take it way from me, what you had me believing were lies and I was blinded while you tried to guide me through my life when you were always in the way, I meant to push you out but only pushed you down, the message wasn’t received only put forth in existence, so still you stayed in the distance always shoving resistance into this life of mine, and you control this trying to show condolence but only making a fool of yourself, not caring about anyone else, its time to wake and see your mistakes, always feel before you create, and its time for me to rise and open your eyes and see the surprise, as I come forth and put you in place, shock that look on your face and hold you down while you scream for death, and I’ll steal your breath becoming stronger than I already am, lasting longer than I already can, there’s no way you can stay anymore, I’ll bring you back to before, back to the past when pain wasn’t what you wield, and feeling was real, in a time that had time to steal, and time to kill wasn’t available, but still, there were criminals, and I was there to keep them at bay and that’s where I’ll put you today, I’ll bring you there and make you stay, you can’t stop me, never dropping I’ll shake you and take you out, bring you up and break you down, you can’t fake this, you know its true, so don’t mistake it or you know what I’ll do, I’ve said it before but just so we’re clear I’ll say it once more, bash you head on the floor a flash of light with a crash pain will be your fate, a place of hate no time to waste, to time to wait for haste drives the soul as it guides the body in place of the mind that was left behind when you started to hide, dug a hold and crawled inside, and while they screamed you name you created me, and told me your own beliefs but I knew they weren’t true, I rose above because I had enough, just like all the people that you pushed away, but now its your turn and you can’t tell what’s going on, so if this is too fast to run on broken glass with the diminishing light and the shadows it casts, tell me and I’ll go faster and then, I’ll pick up the pace and when, you’ve given up I still won’t have had enough, the pain inside is maddening, and the speed feeds the greed and such fuel is saddening, you rely on this design of devouring time to go back and then, maybe change what’s happening, but you’re trapped in this skin, you can’t even change from within, so live on inside this park of darkness, a carnival of fright, and carnal rides that just might be your last thrill of the night, crashing into the sky while you wonder why you had to create me, and I am yours because you made me, you wrought your own demise and I’ll be there hear the last of your cries while you sit and realize the science of life was never yours to control, you may have made me but I have my own soul, my mind is greater than yours not because you designed it but because it was meant to be, and everything you meant to me were lies and now I see as I watch the skies light up with strikes of lightning flashing, with the volume turned up and the thunder crashing, I’m finally at peace, I can finally sleep, now that you can’t fall beneath, crawl and leave and let my secrets leek, I’m safe inside but I’m weak, I’d scream if I could speak, but I can’t so let go and listen for the echo this will make in the years to come, even when I’m long gone my work will linger on in these fiery words, and as much as it hurts you know I didn’t make things worse, I made life live on even while the body was gone, a soul trapped in ink on paper that will fade but will be read before it can disappear, and a story will be told through the years, of a conquest that will shatter all the rest and live inside of your chest and in your minds forever.

Animosity
All the anger inside of me
Breeds with your animosity
And this is the only time I can feel,
When all the hate in me is revealed-

And it grows within my heart
Spreading fire through my veins
I can’t even tell it apart,
From the love which it distains
And the fire feeds the rage,
Teasing the monster within the cage

Don’t burn me, I’ll get you back
Don’t burn me, I’ll get you back

This feeling,
Was never meant for healing
You’ll make sure of that,
With the pain you’re revealing
I can’t even tell it apart, from
My heart that’s grown so lonesome
So cold and afraid
Fear leads to madness
And madness to hate-

And it grows within my heart
Spreading fire through my veins
I can’t even tell it apart,
From the love which it distains
And the fire feeds the rage,
Teasing the monster within the cage
That’s about to break loose
That’s about to chase you

So don’t burn me, I’ll always attack
Don’t burn me, I’ll get you back

You make love feel like war
I'm fighting just to hold you
I've never felt this way before
And I'll do whatever I'm told to

this is the only thing i've ever fought in
and this is the one thing i want to win
all alone i watched the sun set, tonight
hoping you'd possibly forget, you're right

Reality: Recreated



It’s so hard to see,
out of this deformity
that you all call reality

And what’s meant to be,
isn’t what’s inside of me
its just part of my memory

You tore me apart, left me stranded and then,
I found your heart, but was abandoned again
And lost like you, who I once dreamt of
Is everything that I rose above
And everything for you, that I left behind
Wasn’t lost, I just had to look to find

And it’s so hard to be,
what you want to see
while pain lives inside of me

And what you always meant to me,
wasn’t what you tried to be
just mirror reflected imagery

So start backing me up, don’t push me down
I won’t quit while you’re still around
And all the things you had me believing,
Were only lies as I was blinded by your deceiving
But now I find I can see all our problems ahead
So I can shock them, and block them instead

And somehow I can see,
all the lies inside of me,
are everything you were meant to be

So now I can finally be,
what I’ve always needed in me,
a soul full of everything

So stop backing me up, I can do it myself
I can handle this without your help
This would work, if you could hear me
But nothing seems to be coming in clearly
So I’ll just have to push you out of my life
I need time to myself while I’m still alive