godessalthena
|
::
2018 19 September :: 6.37am
I don't get sick very often, but I've some how caught a cold and I feel like death
balloon head sinus pressure head ache stuffy runny nose huge cough and mucus in my lungs
ugh some bring me soup & cuddles
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 16 September :: 1.27am
reconnected with Juan's old roommates and it was even better than old times marli is going to be around all the time I effin love her been doing bruches with the new roommates and trying to step outside my comfort zone more new project at work training 80 CSRs I'm so effing excited went to the fair and ate the most amaZing burrito with the bestie everyone has these wonderful pets that love me and my own pets have been much more affectionate lately
things are feeling better, I'm glad the storm has passed and I feel like I'm finally thinking clearly again
working from home really helps in so many ways
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 14 September :: 6.53am
why am I so jealous still of this dude
why can't I shake the feeling the songs are about him
how do I move past this? why am I so insecure?
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 9 September :: 9.15pm
just leave
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 9 September :: 9.28am
I just want to give up. I hate every beautiful day.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 5 September :: 7.51pm
:: Mood: adoring
when baby dog is really happy, she runs around completely nuts around the living room and then bolts away into the kitchen to get a drink and then bolts into the den
my mom squeels with glee every time she does it, and it's always the same adorable sound with a wonderful giggle after and it's just one of my absolute favorite things. it makes my heart sing.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 5 September :: 6.19am
I suck at comforting people
one day down of sober September and I have had no break from an uncomfortable unsettled feeling deep in my stomach, like I ate copious amounts of cheese.
I can do this.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 4 September :: 9.34pm
I'm really fucking sick and tired of being treated like I don't know shit.
I know a lot. I'm smart. I've had jobs in different areas and understand how almost all insurance works (besides life insurance, but that seems like the most straight forward insurance).
but go ahead,just treat me like I don't know anything. it's okay.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 29 August :: 2.12pm
you either are important or you aren't
you either matter to someone or you don't
I'm always in the "not" category
and it hurts, but trying harder just looks desperate, and I don't know how to do less than what I do. I'm just a non entity. I'm fading into nothing. I don't speak I don't care I just feel sad and lonely.
and I know it'll only get worse. I know I'll be the worst mom. I know I'll die in child birth. I know I'll have a miscarriage. I know I'm sterile.
why do I even exist
I am a meaningless creature on a meaningless planet in an infinite expanse of nothing.
how do I fix this?
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 29 August :: 8.24am
why is it that I always manage to convince myself that my bf is gay and in love with another man?????
it happens every time. am I crazy? am I imagining it?
is it just my insecurities about not being a man? maybe I was just supposed to be a man. idk.
life is so confusing.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 26 August :: 12.52pm
this country is so fucking fucked.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 22 August :: 9.45pm
I'm so freaking frustrated I want to scream.
there just no being happy. if I do one thing I suffer in another way.
I need to find a therapist.
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 19 August :: 11.01pm
maybe it'll never be enough
maybe it's just me
2 gone up in flamess |
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 18 August :: 11.21pm
I know a lot of people hate lap dogs but they are honestly the best
they are perfectly destined to be our hand held best friends
I just want to snuggle my puppies forever
domesticated dogs are just permanent puppies and it's just the best. dogs were made to be with people. out of how many animals in the world dogs are the only one to truly and unrevokably to be our best friend. can you imagine a world without dogs?
it would be a pretty fucking sad world.
not to say other domesticated animals aren't awesome, they just don't hold a candle to dogs. they are the best. hands down.
DOGS FUCKIN ROCK
light a match
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2018 18 August :: 10.19pm
I love being the best
even if it's at something stupid.
light a match
|
|