The names Brielle, bitch

The names Brielle, bitch

:: 2005 19 January :: 6.11pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: [Bruce Springsteen] - [Tenth Avenue Freeze Out]

This entry may just anger a few people, make a few people feel loved, and I guess suprise a few. Whatevah. Know that I love you all. <3

I guess some people are confused?
Lol, trust me, I am too.

Brandon is just... an I wish. He's just something pretty to look at. I like seeing how he interacts with people and how he puts himself out. Sometimes it bothers me though, like I said before, about how he's so intelligent and such. I think he's a really nice and accepting kid and it suprises me, because looking at him and listening to him before actually talking to and knowing him, you'd think he was a total dick. That just kind of interests me. I wish there were more guys like him. He's just something special, I don't know. I hope he finds a girl who is just as intriguing and neat as he is. What a great kid. Cutie, too.

Dan... oh my Daniel. =] What can I say... He's beautiful. :) Everything about him. I love talking to him and being around him and such. He's just an excellent person to be friends with. ..Enough that I'm trying to keep myself for having romantic feelings for him because he's so special and I love him a lot. I love joking with him, and I love that he can be serious too, and I trust him a whole lot. I don't know, he just sent really good vibes out to me when we first starting talking again, I've never had any doubts about him. What a great friend. =] Even though I want him really bad. :GASP!: Love you kiddo. =D

Josh. My baby. I love him more than I've loved anyone in the entire world. I would do anything for that boy. I've never been able to trust anyone as much as I do him. Sometimes I'll do anything just to hear his voice. He's so reassuring and so understanding and I really love him for that. I love him so much. I know how annoying it is when people say "I don't know what I'd do without you!" but I really don't know what I'd do if he just got up and left me. I'm so lucky to have someone like him in my life. Sometimes I question wether or not if he really knows how much I love him, so I make sure to remind him often. He's more important to me than anyone in my life, behind my mom of course. I love how he knows exactly when to make me happy and exactly when I need a laugh. He reads my mind sometimes and it amazes me. Sometimes I feel like I'd almost want someone like that as a boyfriend type, but I'd be too afraid to lose what we have right now. If we wen't downhill by an inch, I'd be lost. I love it where we are and I love just being with him and talking with him all the time. I love you. <3 =]

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 19 January :: 3.33pm
:: Mood: blah

The bite marks on my neck never felt so good. i'm losing control, and it's all that I can do. not to blackout and fall into lust with you.

I swear to you that's all that it is.

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greyXmatter

:: 2005 18 January :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: [Action Action]

So the update is, the surgery is over and she's just waking up now. She's not allowed to get up or move around until the swelling on her chest/shoulder goes down a little bit, just in case something decides to hemmorage, God forbid. She says she feels "Okay", but then again, she doesn't really know what she's talking about. She can take visitors late tomorrow and on Thursday. I still feel like shit and I have that gut feeling that somethings going to happen. Maybe I'm insane. I don�t know, it�s just a lot to take in. I never really thought I�d see her deteriorating into death, which is essentially what is happening, because this valve is only temporary, and she's not going to get it replaced 368793 times. It�s just a lot to deal with and a lot to think about I guess...

I was sitting on the steps today and I saw a man and a woman sitting on the same step as I was, but on the other side. I noticed they weren't talking to each other, and simply looking straight forward. I thought two things, one was, perhaps they knew each other and were in an argument? On the other hand, why would they be sitting so close if they were arguing? Another thing I thought of was maybe they didn't know each other and it was just a coincidence that they were so close. I realized that was kind of dumb. Then I thought about it some more, and I noticed a softness in both their eyes, and their fingers were touching. Someone else thinks silence is more beautiful rather than awkward and strange. Nice.