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greyXmatter
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2004 20 December :: 11.40am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Martina McBride
Haven't really been in the mood to update. I'm slightly confused today for the mere fact that class schedules are screwed up because of the half snow day, or whatever this is. Negative fifteen degrees this morning. I slipped and fell on my ass. ...Nothing new.
Mom wants me to be a model. It would be nice to make some cash... just have to lose about 10-15 pounds to be as skinny as they want you to be. If it works for me, that will be a decent way to make some money. Also on top of that, commercials. I have a lot of commercial opportunities. I don't really want to model though... but I do want cash. ...So. Hi. ..And I like to be center of attention. mwah. Sometimes.
Christmas shopping today... I have to get something for Juanita, Rachel, and my Dad. I think that's it... I don't know. I'm pretty confuzzled when it comes to Christmas this year.
I saw God's will on a Halloween night.
He was dressed as a bag of leaves.
What a creative costume.
...Ha.
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greyXmatter
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2004 18 December :: 8.57pm
:: Mood: blah
It feels as if I was in a blackout when I met you. Like I'm not supposed to know when or how we met. As if it's supposed to remain a mystery, regardless of how we beg to know. I amaze myself sometimes. I can't remember the day we met. Can you? It feels like it's been forever, when in reality, it hasn't been more than 4 years. Time... it's only a number. I've learned that your friendship has brought me more than I could have ever asked for. Your ambitious side helped me turn from being so timid and apathetic to a little more agressive and wanting to reach my goals. Could I have become what I am without you? Yes... but I wouldn't be where I am now for another long while.
It's nice, thanks.
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greyXmatter
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2004 16 December :: 6.02pm
:: Mood: lonely
I'm starting to get that solemn lonely feeling a little late this year. Sort of like a period. It's supposed to be on time every year. Maybe my mind is pregnant. Perhaps. It's been very slight and not so rash lately... just today it started to get worse. Two months late... I've wondered where Brielle got to... I went back to school today... Everything was the same as I had remembered it on Monday, not like I was expecting a change... -_- ... Things sucked, as usual. Same inconsiderate people. Same inconsiderate teachers. Same inconsiderate dickfaces that feel rude, obnoxious actions are neccessary... Same shit. Differen't day. I don't exactly know how much longer I can take this school and these people. Then again, if I wasn't so god damn sensitive, it wouldn't matter as much. But I am, and I can't really change that. Unfortunately, that's how I am, and will be until I'm done. The littlest things hurt me, and it gets worse and worse this time of year. You see me poke fun at myself and laugh that big... ear to ear... squinty eyed... bouncy smile. Please. It's just as fake as it looks. Everytime you fuck me over, every time you're a fucking dick in the slightest... it kills me, no matter how much I smile. I'm sorry I sound so fucking emo tonight. I'm really not trying to... Cas's just in an emo mood. Which doesn't happen at all, just sometimes. God I fucking hate this school and everyone in it. I could say "life"... but god damn, that would sound emoer than the emoest. Whatevah. You understand, you get my picture. I'm just the lone ranter. ....ha. God I'm so close.
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greyXmatter
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2004 16 December :: 10.20am
:: Mood: cranky
Like the new colors? Pink and such. Wow. Totally does not give you any hint as to who I am... ;D
Anyways.
HUNGRY!
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greyXmatter
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2004 15 December :: 8.49pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: [Degrassi Theme]
BAH! Last night I talked to Josh for 2 hours until my battery died and all day today I've been going through Josh withdrawls. I've been wanting to talk to him so bad today that I was like... screaming and pulling my hair out! Then FINALLY the little fucking... gorgeous fucker signed online and I was like "YES!" and now I'm talking to him and I'm very satisfied. =]
I heart this kid. <3
my neck... my back...
lmfao. <3<3<3
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