swimfan14
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2006 26 February :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: Annoyed
The longer I tried denying this, the worse I feel. I've come to realize that pretending I don't hate you isn't making anything better. The truth is, I've never hated anyone more. Sometimes I say that I hate someone when I'm talking to one of my friends and i'll be like "oh yeah I hate him/her" but I never mean it. Things are differen't with you. I truly hate you and nothing will ever change that. I don't feel bad for saying this. You have no idea how much you've ruined things. You're so fucking ungrateful and selfish that I can't even stand it anymore. I seriously hope you choke.
Glad that's all out in the open now.
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swimfan14
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2006 26 February :: 12.37pm
You got your own way of looking at it, I guess that proves that I got mine. It's just who we are.
We've come too far to start over now. I know what you're thinking. I'm not always easy to be around but I do love you. You keep me believing that you love me too and I know it's true. This love drives us crazy but nobody's walking away so I guess we'll have to do it the hard way.
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Tails
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2006 25 February :: 7.24am
i hate the casino...they suck they are loud boring and make you lose 20 bucks LOL>!
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swimfan14
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2006 24 February :: 11.41pm
Tonight was really good I guess you could say.
First I went to Aarons after school and then we went to the game.
I seen Ryan Case there and I was really happy. I haven't seen him in a while and then I was just walking and someone called my name and I turned and it was Martha and Ashleigh. I was so excited. I haven't seen either of them in over a year now. Martha had a baby named Alex and he's 6 months old and Ashleigh's baby is 5 months old and her name is Haleigh. They both were so cute. I was holding them the whole time.
Oh and so then of course I'm just minding my own business when Sara comes up to me and she either heard Josh saying this to someone or he told her but anyways I guess he was saying how he wanted his cousin to meet me because he has the biggest crush on me and blah blah blah and so Sara said I should go talk to him and I was hell no that's not going to happen. It's too akward for me now. It's fine not knowing if someone has a crush on you and yeah if you have a crush on them then that's perfect but when you don't it just makes things akward and it basically made things 10 time worse when he wrote a fucking SONG about me. I've never had anyone do that before and it's just a little weird esp. since in the song it said "I want to love you forever." Yeah..that's what I said. It's just too much for me and I don't know how he became so in "love" with me since I've never liked him back and i've also never lead him on. He loves me but he doesn't know who I am and of course after the game Aaron and I are walking to my car and Josh is also in the parking lot and he has to make it known that i'm outside so he starts talking really loud so Josh can hear him and look over and see us.... It's just too fucking weird for me. First I get flowers by one boy and now im getting songs by another. It's not really cute unless you actually are dating this person. Now I'm just getting annoyed by this whole thing and I feel bad for complaining about this it's just I need to vent right now and everyone else in the world is sleeping.
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking. When you fall, everyone stands, and you've had your fill of sinking.
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fallenfaces
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2006 24 February :: 6.38am
:: Music: Ani Difranco - Angry Anymore
On the outs.
I always expect too much and get my hopes up for nothing.
Don't try to fix this, it'd show you actually cared.
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swimfan14
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2006 23 February :: 8.35pm
You know..I can't remember the last time we kissed because you never think the last time is really the last time. You always think there will be more. You think you have forever but you don't. -Greys Anatomy
Yeah so...it's like...I really want to tell you...but then again I don't want you to know.
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fallenfaces
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2006 23 February :: 7.13pm
Nothing ever works. I shouldn't convince myself otherwise.
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swimfan14
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2006 23 February :: 6.23pm
You say we're bitches but we laugh because we knew it way before you did.
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anachronism
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2006 23 February :: 5.44pm
Pathetic.
I officially hate our Senior class. Everyone is so immature. No one can simply shut up for two minutes and just listen. No one takes anything seriously. People just don't care. I figured people would want to be in the Yearbook. Especially since it's their Senior year, but obviously they don't. I love how people bitch and moan about not being in it or how it's all the same people every year. Well, if you're not willing to give us a quote or anything you have no reason to be whining. When the only people willing to say something not half retarded are in the class that's who is going to be in the majority of the Yearbook. Don't complain to us when you're the one being an idiot.
Now people are bitching about how Erika and I apparently "rigged" the Mock Elections to win. Riiiight. Because, oh my God..if two whole people that are in the class win an award it means we just decided to add extra votes to our name, even though three other people helped us count them. Hmm.. that sure is strange. And I really want to convince my Senior class that I am funny. Maybe if you took the time to vote, I would have had more competition and one of your popular friends would have won. It's just because you didn't win anything. Get over it.
Ugghhh. You all just bother me so much. I am so glad I am graduating. I hate who you've all become. Sure, I'm not perfect, but at least I have matured somewhat since 8th grade.
I have no idea how you're all going to make it in this world. Honestly.
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Tails
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2006 23 February :: 12.53am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Silence and the sound the computer fan makes.
not to much man
so, i have more hours at the catoring company again but i still totally need a full time job so that i can MOVE OUT...i mean i kinda sorta gave up cause i spent so much time bitching about it by the time i do move out it wont seem cool anymore and everyone will be like "matt your just a little bitch like always, cept now your a little bitch with an apartment, bitch!" and ill smile and laughing and then kill myself with more cancer. which i need to stop doing. but anyway. so yeah i guess life is at an odd odd standstill. things arent bad. things arent good.
I'm getting 80.92 cents for income tax from arbys...
Megan...not sure how to start addressing the issue.
Do you bring up past problems to fix them if your just now finding out all the really imporant details?
I should ask for some more W2's from the catoring company...cause i have gotten 3 of them...and just keep forgetting to fill them out...then i lose them and bad stuff happens to me when the IRS dosent understand how im getting such large monetary assests without having and form of a job...
But when my free time's gone will you promise me this? That you will please bury me with it?
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swimfan14
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2006 22 February :: 3.59pm
Take me. Break me. Every mile further there's a part of me that slips away. One day you'll see, even if you got down on your knees you couldn't make me stay.
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swimfan14
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2006 21 February :: 4.23pm
:: Mood: sick
I feel like shit. My lungs feel like they are going to..I don't know, fall out or something if I cough anymore. It's sucky. I hate being sick. Why can't I just be healthy for at least a month straight?
I said I wasn't going to go out tonight because I just stated that I'm sick but I don't want to cancel my plans at the last minute. I'll just go, have a good time, and not complain.
Haha what an akward day for Elyse and I. We never should have told that boy those things. Now he thinks we love him just as much as he loves us. We were only kidding. It was all just for a joke. So now I have to avoid him and when I do run into him, I just have to look the other way.
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swimfan14
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2006 20 February :: 7.12pm
and when you finally regret it....blame yourself.
I'm only doing this because I have to.
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fallenfaces
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2006 19 February :: 9.22am
I have something to look forward to now.
(You)
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anachronism
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2006 18 February :: 9.09pm
It's two degrees man and everything is still covered in ice, weak.
I got some wicked pictures of all the trees though. Here's my favorite.. [ I made my mom stop on the side of the road to get it, so I am glad it turned out! ]
Read more..
Anyway, I am so glad the power is back. It was truly miserable. Sammie and I were cracking out man. I'm not even going to get into details. All I have to say about not having power is...LAME.
I've hung out with Sammie for four days now. It's awesome, because she is so much like me that I don't get annoyed with her. She's bahmb dig and we're getting married. But, really...she's my best friend and I wish she could walk with me for Graduation. Too bad she's a sucky sophomore.
I saw Brokeback Mountain today. It was soooo good. I cried for the last ten minutes of the movie. I suggest seeing it, unless you're one of those homophobes that is closed-minded and needs to suck it up and get some balls. Yeah, that's right.
Break has actually been a lot of fun for doing nothing. I don't want it to end.
Well, I need to get going. I've got things to do.
(Like call you)
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anachronism
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2006 18 February :: 12.28pm
Sammie is pretty cool and so are you.
(I love being able to call you at any given moment again)
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swimfan14
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2006 17 February :: 10.21pm
I'm at my dads right now with Kelli and Brina. Kelli is downstairs in my room on my computer right now and i'm upstairs in my kitchen on my laptop. My dad hasn't gotten us wireless internet here yet for our house so I figured I wouldn't get any signal but I picked up signal from one of our neighbors so now we don't have to pay for it lol. It's pretty exciting. Brina is downstairs annoying everyone while i'm up here in the piece and quiet! Thank god.
Today Kelli and I went shopping for Brina and we got her the cutest outfits. I got her the cutest shoes too! I had to get her some pink ballet flats, of course :) and then we got her pink cowgirl boots. They're so cute. She's stylin' now.
Ohhh yeah. We can't forget this story. We were at Target today too and we got into my car and we were on our way out of the parking lot and I seen this car that was basically parked out in the middle of no where and the windows were foggy but I could still see in it and I seen this guy and girl having sex and I was like "OMG KELLI THEY'RE HAVING SEX!" and she's like "WHAT?!" so she wanted me to turn around and we pulled up right next to them and they started putting their clothes back on. I'm not even kidding about any of this. I was disgusted. Who has sex in a parking lot? I never would have sex where random people could see me. That's a little, umm GROSS!?!
I went out to dinner and to Cold Stone tonight! I love that place. If you haven't been there you probably should go.
I guess we aren't supposed to get our power back until Sunday at midnight which is too long so that's why I wont be returning there anytime soon.
I'm getting a little freaked out. I feel like i'm being watched up here. We have a huge windows in my kitchen and I just heard a loud noise in the garage so I ran downstairs.
crazything2132 (10:39:21 PM): why r u coming downstairs
crazything2132 (10:39:26 PM): is that you?
crazything2132 (10:40:42 PM): omg
crazything2132 (10:40:46 PM): what was the loud noice
crazything2132 (10:40:50 PM): are u dead?
Born2bOnStage x3 (10:41:38 PM): you heard that loud noise?
Yeah..what a nice friend haha.
I just want you to know that, I miss you, I miss you so.
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swimfan14
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2006 16 February :: 9.40pm
Well we don't have power here either. I'm on my laptop though. I seriously am greatful that I have one because otherwise I probably would be going nuts right now like I was a few minutes ago before I realized I could get on the internet from my laptop. My three year old cousin Brina is here and I'm watching her until Sunday and anyways she wanted to find her lip gloss that I gave her and it was upstairs in my room and she kept telling me to go get it for her because it was "too dark" upstairs so we gave her a flashlight and we told her to go get it herself and she was up there for like 5 minutes until we realized we didn't hear her anymore so then we started calling her name and she wouldn't respond and then randomly she goes "I lost my flashlight!" it was so funny. She was just sitting up there in the dark looking for it. I was cracking up when she said that. I love her so much.
He confuses me so much. Why does he keep asking. I haven't figured it out yet. Well I have one idea but who knows if that's even possiable.
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swimfan14
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2006 16 February :: 12.54pm
I don't want you to know where I am because then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been.
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line, well I never should have crossed it. Stop right there. Well I never should have said that, it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back.
I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to try and never become that way again, cause who I am hates who i've been.
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