I wish I could change the ways of the world, make it a nice place. Until that day I guess we stay, doing what we do.

 

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Screwing who we screw.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 19 December :: 5.22pm

Here are those pictures Stacy.

I love that little girl.


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swimfan14

:: 2005 19 December :: 3.56pm

If I could take what I've learned from all the mistakes I've made, from all the pages I've turned, from the lost games that I've played. I'd be a better person for it, better than deciding to ignore. You mean so much to me. I want to make things right with you and me.


Scratch that idea.

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tesunai

:: 2005 19 December :: 2.42pm
:: Mood: blah

i dont really know what to think bout my cousin movin to florida, im not gunna sit here and complain bout him going or try to talk him outa it, but there is something i want to say, even if he doesnt read this. i realy think the bartending thing is a waste of time when he could be doing so much more, he could make a great living with his artistic talants.. its just to bad he'll never put them to good use...its sorta disapointing... but its his life he can do what he wants, if its not important to him to do what he loves who am i to say anything..

...be happy and live well brad...

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swimfan14

:: 2005 19 December :: 12.57pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: All-American Rejects-11:11pm(CST)

If I could take what I've learned from all the mistakes I've made, from all the pages I've turned, from the lost games that I've played. I'd be a better person for it, better than deciding to ignore. You mean so much to me. I want to make things right with you and me.


Chloe is up from Florida right now and she's coming over soon. I'm freaking out!!! I imagine were going to see, well just nevermind that.


swimfan14

:: 2005 18 December :: 12.52am

My eyes are fading, my soul is bleeding, I try to make it seem okay, but my faith is wearing thin. So help heal these wounds, they've been open for way too long. Help me fill this hole even though this is not your fault, that im open and im bleeding, all over your brand new rug and I need someone to help me sew them up.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 17 December :: 10.55pm

haha im seriously going crazy with these things


Your Celebrity Style Twin is Mischa Barton

Funky, bohemian, and girly.




OMG this is weird..I keep getting mischa barton stuff....I swear were like the same person!
Your Birthdate: November 14

You work well with others. That is, you're good at getting them to do work for you.

It's true that you get by on your charm. But so what? You make people happy!

You're dynamic, clever, and funny. And people like to have you around.

But you're so restless, they better not expect you to stay around for long.



Your strength: Your superstar charisma



Your weakness: Commitment means nothing to you



Your power color: Fuchsia



Your power symbol: Diamond



Your power month: May






You Are a Bright Star Soul





Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention
In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you
You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial
And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive

You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy
You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define
A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous.
Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul





haha it's just meant to be...theres no way around it.


What Your Pink Outfit Means

Unsurprisingly, you are very sweet and cute.

But you're also a bit of a tease - and not that innocent.

Shy but sexy, you're an alluring mix of contradictions.



Designer match: BCBG



Signature accessory: Tortoise shell sunglasses






Your Heart Is Pink



In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.

Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.



Your flirting style: Coy



Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park



Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant



What you bring to relationships: Romance




Your Reputation Is: Mean Girl

You rule through teasing and intimidation..

Yet, people would give the world to be your friend



You are



haha wow

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swimfan14

:: 2005 14 December :: 7.19pm

I just want you to know, your not making this easy.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 14 December :: 4.34pm

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember..
Today went better than planned. I'm really happy about the roles I got in the play and when I found out that I have huge monologue that made me even happier. I'm definitley going to be working day and night at memorzing it. I already have the first paragraph memorized. I'm definitely not going to complain about that. I'm also in "Yes" and "Cinderella". I love my lines in "Yes". I love everyones lines in that one.

I'm so glad we only have to perform tomorrow and then we are done. I'm getting sick of doing these in front of half the school when half of them are really immature and annoying.

Do you expect me to believe I'm going to let us fall apart?

6 Comments | Comment?


swimfan14

:: 2005 13 December :: 4.56pm

Incase you failed to notice, incase you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees.




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swimfan14

:: 2005 13 December :: 4.08pm

Sometimes it's so hard for me to not say what I really want to say. I am very opinionated and I usually say what's on my mind but today I figured I probably should keep my mouth shut because I can say some really mean things so I decided I should just not say anything but I can't hold it in anymore so I'm just going to say what I really think and hopefully I don't end up regreting what I say.


I'm sorry but that whole idea just isn't going to work for some of us.

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cleverlinesunread

:: 2005 12 December :: 4.59pm

When you're in darkness don't forget what you saw in the light.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 10 December :: 4.34pm

If this what you want. This is what you get.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 9 December :: 11.49pm

Alright so maybe it was worth it.

Tonight was fun. I love Dani, Megan, Emily Sorensen, Aaron, Scott, Matt, Emily E, Brittany. We always have so much fun.


But I should go to sleep now. I couldn't even stay awake for the movie.


<3 Ashley


swimfan14

:: 2005 8 December :: 7.11pm

Today was probably one of the worst days of my life and I don't think it's going to get any easier until that day comes. The truth behind the reason why I didn't come to school yesterday wasn't all because I woke up late and I was sick. Yeah, both of those things are true but Veronica's mom did call me Tuesday night and she told me she was going to bring her to school on Wednesday and I was scared. I was scared to see her so I didn't want to go and when I got to school today I soon found out she was coming today. I can't begin to explain how scared I was. I don't know why I was scared. It's not like she was going to hurt me or something. I just couldn't handle it. I barely could look at her and when I did look at her for the first time, I can't even explain how it felt. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even introduce myself. Sam Foley had to tell her who I was. The only reason why I went near her was because someone told me that I might be the person to spark her memory. So I did it, just for her. It hurts so bad seeing your best friend look at you as if she's never seen you before. I just want to tell her all of our memories and I wanted to show her our spot but I knew it wouldn't help. It seems like were missing so much of our friendship. I feel like she's running out of time and it's frustrating because I want her to remember so bad, but she can't and I know it's not her fault. I miss her so much and I would do anything to help her, but unfortunately theres nothing I can do. Getting up every morning for school is just going to get harder and harder until she comes back. And if you don't understand how I feel, think about it happening to YOUR best friend. I think I'll probably cry tomorrow too. I feel like I still need to cry which is weird but thats just how I feel. Stacy told me I was cute when I cried and it's cute how many people kiss me when I cry. They did that in the play too.


It`s unbelieveable how we pick ourselves up everyday, just to be let down anyways.

That hurt. It's okay, I'll remember that next time.


Ashley




swimfan14

:: 2005 7 December :: 1.07pm

They said I can't take, what, what do they know, any girl who's anyone is out at the mall and I can't dress up, what, outta control. My friends stand out so I wanna be bold. Even no make-up, what they're outta touch. They think my blue mascara is way too much. It gets a girl wondering what's wrong with this world when a girl can't choose how to be a girl. They said you're going the wrong way, the wrong way to no where but I said it's the right way, the right way to get there. They said I'm too young to follow my own way to the future but I stand in my own way, right or wrong, it's the only way
that I'll get there.....

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swimfan14

:: 2005 7 December :: 11.43am

I didn't go to school today. My alarm never went off and when I did wake up Lisa was calling me and it was like 7:20 so I wouldn't have had time to get ready anyways. I don't feel good and I hate school so I guess it's okay.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 5 December :: 3.40pm

Well today was a bad day.

We didn't have to do our seminar skits because of reasons but anyways I really think it's a waste of our time. I doubt that some of the people in our school have the mentality to understand them and they aren't open minded enough to accept it. Some people's intellectual capabilities aren't so great. Thats just what I think. We'll see I guess.

Everyone knows that it was us that did shit to Josh's car so then he didn't notice it until this morning and he had to drive to school and he couldn't see out of the windows since of what we did so it caused him to go into the ditch and then he came into school with flour all over him. We all thought it was pretty funny and today he kept giving us dirty looks and he told us it's war lol.


I really am upset about Veronica and I hope she's okay. I miss her already. I was suprised that I didn't start bawling today. I cried, yeah but lately when somethings wrong I haven't been crying about it. I don't know maybe I'm just getting used to this or maybe I'm getting stronger.

When something bad happens to me, you don't care but when something bad happens to you then the world has to stop for you.
Thats how you are.

Nothing could ever be so wrong.


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swimfan14

:: 2005 4 December :: 11.44pm

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This was on Saturday. We all crack up at Brittney's sign. Brittany's little cousins made our signs lol.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 4 December :: 3.00pm

I pretty much just woke up and that is pretty sad lol. We didn't go to sleep until 5am and then we all had to leave at 9 so then I came home and slept until now lol.

Friday Lisa and I were at the mall and it was about to close and we had to go to the bathroom before we left and you have to go down this long hallway to get to it and I was telling her how it was sort of scary and how I've heard guys will go in a stall in the girls bathroom and wait for a girl to come in there and so she was really scared so when we went in there I started pushing all the doors open to make sure somebody wasn't in there and then when I got to this one door it wouldn't open and I totally didn't think someone would be in there so I was like pounding on it, trying to open it and then I seen their feet so then I was like omg shit and so I stopped and Lisa and I were laughing and I thought it was pretty fucking weird that the person in there didn't say something to me because apparently I didn't know they were in there but no they didn't say a word or move!! So then we were just like w/e and then we both were going to the bathroom and it was dead silent and I just busted out laughing and then afterwards Lisa did too and we both were just standing there wondering why this person was still in there not doing ANYTHING so I looked at their feet and it looked like guys shoes so then I showed Lisa and she agreed with me and so then we got out of there as fast as we could. It was pretty scary if you ask me. If I was them and I heard someone laugh (me) I would definitely laugh too but they didn't. I'm pretty sure it was a guy. Not even kidding.

Yesterday I went to the x-mas parade with Brittney, Kourtney, Emily, and Elyse. It was so cold but it was pretty cute.

Then Elyse came over and then later on we went to Sam Ballews for her body shop thing. It was pretty sweet. I had fun and I bought alot of stuff lol.

Then well I hung out with Brittany, Brittney, Megan, Emily, and Elyse. Ahaha....


This weekend wont go without repercussions.


<3 aShLeY



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fallenfaces

:: 2005 3 December :: 9.39am
:: Music: Howie Day - Collide

Just for me.
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