I wish I could change the ways of the world, make it a nice place. Until that day I guess we stay, doing what we do.

 

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swimfan14

:: 2005 17 November :: 10.51pm

The play was really awesome tonight!! I wasn't even nervous at all but Annalise and I couldn't stop laughing in our munchkin house's. I got a dozen roses and then Missy gave me a single rose too. I miss her. She is one of the nicest people I know. Anyways tomorrow is going to be a long day but at least we don't have to go to any classes. Two shows tomorrow=tiring.

What the hell? You really upset me sometimes. I just need to go to bed. I have a long weekend ahead of me.


sweet sixteen . beauty queen looking
through her magazine && everyone
thinks she has everything while deep inside she’s crying



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swimfan14

:: 2005 16 November :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: Exhausted

I promise I wont let you down if you take my hand tonight.
I promise we'll be just fine this time, if you take my hand tonight.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 15 November :: 10.26pm

I'm so tired. Dress rehearsal seemed like it took forever. Micky, Veronica, and I had to go into Great Day to get something while we were in full costume and makeup and wow did everyone look at us. Everyone kept asking us what we were doing. It was pretty fun and then we had to explain to them 1234028408 times that we are in the play. Tomorrow we have dress rehearsal again so I probably wont be home until right now once again. After school I'm going to April's house. It should be pretty fun.

Anyways here are pictures from yesterday!!

Read more..

I was going to show pictures from tonight but I want everyone to wait to see what we all look like if you come to the play!!

Anyways I should get going. I have to wash off all this makeup. It's gross, trust me.

<3 ashley

Oh yeah sorry these pictures are so big!!

Edit: Well, actually, the pictures aren't big anymore, I don't know how that happened, but someone must love me! ;)

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fallenfaces

:: 2005 15 November :: 6.50am

Friends only from now on as well.
For the same reason. Ha!


anachronism

:: 2005 15 November :: 6.23am

Friends only from now on, to keep certain fuck heads from reading this then reporting to their master.

Haha!


swimfan14

:: 2005 14 November :: 11.09pm

Maybe someday I'll be able to tell you...

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swimfan14

:: 2005 14 November :: 8.31pm
:: Mood: Happy

I'm watching Laguna Beach re-runs
That wasn't what I expected. Oh well it's not like my world is going to end or anything.

Today was my Birthday so that just makes everything better. H let me leave play practice after my scene because it was my Birthday. Otherwise I would have had to stay the whole play. Thank god for Birthdays. I went out to dinner @ Olive Garden. They all sang to me and it was really embarrassing. Lisa was also there with Chris since it was their one month today and they sat pretty close to us. So I thought that that was pretty cool that they were there and so were we and we didn't plan it. All day people kept calling me,leaving voicemails, and texting me to tell me Happy Birthday. It made me happy lol. Anyways I love everyones cards and Lisa got me the coolest present ever. She gave it to me this morning in the car. Today is my cousin Zoe's 1st Birthday and my dogs birthday lol except I don't know how old he is, it's also my grandpas b-day, my grandmas dogs b-day and then today erika bauer and I both found out in 3rd hour we have the same b-days so we both thought that was cool......

Everyone should come see the play.

I'm excited for the play and for whatever this weekend brings haha..

Anyways I gotta go.

I'm so tired. I didn't really sleep last night and I didn't really all weekend either. I would go to bed but I have to at least watch Laguna Beach.

<33 ashley

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swimfan14

:: 2005 13 November :: 1.14pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Lila McCann-With You

You're The One That I Want
Well my weekend was pretty fun ;)

I laugh at how many little hints I give out through out my journal all the time.

I got the new Gossip Girl book and The It Girl so that way Mishy, Brittney, Megan, and Brittany aren't all waiting for me to finish the one I am on! I'm so addicted to these books.

The play is next week and im stoked!

annndd

My Birthday is tomorrow!!!! I sorta forgot that it was just because I already had my party and I can't get my license on my Birthday because I'm too busy with the play to take my test but I probably will in like a week or two. But anyways I'm still excited.

I'm way tired and I should go get ready for play practice.

Oh yeah kelli I just remembered the song I made up when we were at school on Friday and I was walking up the stairs..
"I'm wallkiing up the staiiirs and im wearing a skiirrt and thhe boys behiind me cann see right upp it and they aree going too see sometthiing theyy dont deeserve to see"

"Well it's just Arden"

"Yeahh exacctlly..he'lll like it cuz he doesn't get any acctioonn!"


but I have to get going!

I love you

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tesunai

:: 2005 11 November :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: none

my computer pisses me off so much, i cant get it to download anything, i dunno why it wont, i cant find the problem, this really sucks.....

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anachronism

:: 2005 10 November :: 5.08pm

I really don't like people right now.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 10 November :: 6.59am

Aww my journal is so pretty now! I love all your suprises Mishy!!


I luv you!!

<3 ashley

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anachronism

:: 2005 9 November :: 11.44am

Take it or leave it.
I've been thinking about everything lately and you know what?
I'm happy. I really am right now.
Yes, it's odd being single and having an ex, but it's not that bad. We really had something good for awhile. He helped me become comfortable with myself. He helped me be who I am today. He did a lot for me. And I'm glad he did do some good for me, it makes it all worth it. Yeah, he did some bad for me as well, but let's forget about that. I do know that we were not in love though. We cared about eachother. A lot. And that's it. I still love him to death, but I am not in love with him and I never was. I'm glad we were together. And I'm glad we're not anymore.
The only thing I am upset about is the fact that he told me not to bad mouth him, not to turn my family against him, not to hate him, and that he still wanted to be friends. So, here I am being the mature one while he's trying to win my family over and talk bad about me. *shakes head* Whatever, you're gonna lose on that one buddy. They're not your biggest fans to say the least.

I just like this independent life I'm having right now. I've been so busy lately, just hanging out with my friends. I couldn't ask for better friends. I love hanging out with Kelly, Matt, and Andy. They are my escape. Truly. I've never been around people who just want to have a good time and not really give a fuck or worry about anything. Just relax, laugh, and live. We always do the same thing, which is basically just sit around, but it doesn't feel that way. Kelly is still giving me a call every day just to see how my day was. Matt is more of a friend now, not just 'Kelly's boyfriend'. Andy is just... great. I'll leave it at that.

Erika and Brandi: I love you guys! You two are my best friends and you're so awesome. I love how we can have a whole day planned out and then the most fun we'll have is walking out to the car or buying underwear. Haha. You two are just amazing and I hope to eat cheese with you one day. Oh, and he will have sex with you. ;)

I realized I became too dependent on Brad. I thought I needed him so much for...everything. Like I couldn't function without him. I don't want to rely on anyone like that ever again. It was so unhealthy for me and just didn't work.

Now, I can do what I want. I can hang out with who I want, talk to who I want, etc etc. And I love that. With my next relationship I don't want that to change. I don't want to see him every day or feel like I need to. I want to have trust and freedom and that's how it's going to be, because I won't settle for anything less. He's either going to lie to me or tell me the truth. So, why try to control him or call him every minute to see what he's doing?

I have decided I am not going to college. Yup, how do you like that? I've thought it all out and I know it'd be a big waste of money and time for me, because I'm stupid. Seriously. I'm going to try and find a trade school to learn something specific or just get an office job. I'd also still like to do photography on the side. So, yay.. I'm one of those stupid kids that doesn't go to college. What are you gonna do about it?

Anyway.
Let's see what happens with my life.
I'm excited.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 7 November :: 9.05pm

Today was pretty boring at school. I realized that I'm at school for a long time. 7:30am to anywhere from 6-9pm. It totally sucks spending so much time at school. Play practice was horriable today. If she messes up/skips lines one more time I'm going to flip out. She misses her lines, which causes me to miss mine. Anyways before our scene April and I were backstage talking and this sophomore kept yelling at us because we were talking and she's like "shhh we're backstage, stop talking" and we got really mad at her because she didn't even ask us nicely so we started talking louder and she walked over to us and said it right at our faces and we kept on talking just to piss her off and we would mock her really loudly and start laughing. I was suprised she didn't come over and punch us but she was being a bitch so we decided to do anything and everything to piss her off. It would have been a differen't story if she would have asked us nicely but she didn't so too bad for her then.

My dad got a new laptop today! I'm on it right now. I can't wait until Christmas because I'm getting one. I used to have one when I was like eight but my cousin Haileigh spilt grape pop all over the keyboard so it doesn't work anymore lol.

Anyways I have to go get in the shower so I don't miss Laguna Beach @ 10!!

<3 ashley

P.S.-CALL ______ NOW!!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

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swimfan14

:: 2005 6 November :: 4.17pm

Okay so my birthday party was awesome this weekend. I have to post these pictures because Kourtney is getting really impatient waiting.

Click on the read more thing (thats for dumme's like you Kourt, haha kidding)

Read more..

Okay thats all I feel like posting.

Yesterday was pretty fun. I went to Kourtneys Mary Kay party. Then we all went to the amway grand for my b-day party. We went and ate at the hotel and then we went swimming and went in the sauna haha..I don't even remember what else we did. We watched The 40 Year Old Virgin and we went wandering around the hotel since it's so big and we found this room where a convention was just over so we went in there to get a piece of candy because nobody was in there and everyone grabbed like two pieces and I took like the whole bowl and dumped it into my purse! Everyone was like "ASHLEY OMG!!!" It was pretty damn funny and then it was like 1am and Megan, Brittany, Emily, Elyse, and I wanted to go somewhere so we got into the elevator and there was this girl who was probably about 23 and the guy was about 30 and we got in and this was our convo:
I think the girls name was Nina
Nina:(looks at Elyse's basketball shirt)Are you guys here for basketball?
Elyse:Umm no we were here for a birthday party
Nina:(looks at brittanys track shirt) I used to run track, I did hurtles!!
We all look at each other thinking shes nuts!
Nina:I'm supposed to be professional but im wasted!
Me:Oh I can tell
Nina:So whos birthday is it?
Everyone points at me
Nina freaks out and starts like hugging me and then she asks me all these questions.
The elevator door opens and then Megan,Elyse,Emily,and Britt get out.
I didn't know they got out because I was shaking the guys hand cuz he said happy b-day to me and then all of the sudden they called my name and it was too late and the doors shut so now I'm here stuck in an elevator with a drunk girl and a drunk guy, alone. I thought she was going to like try to makeout with me, she was so drunk and I thought the guy was like going to rape me.
Guy:She wont kiss me
Nina: (mocking him) she wont kiss me
Me: Hmm that sucks for you two
Nina: Omg how old are you?
Me: 15
Nina: You too young to be wearing those clothes. Your a hottie though..
Me: Umm thanks..
By now I was scared and I had no idea what floor I was suposed to be on and they didn't even know what floor they were supposed to be on so we just sat there.
And then nina kept saying how I was so cute and how I should play hard to get and be the girl everyone wants but cant get..so I was like okay w/e lady thats nice and so finally I pressed like every button and finally I found what floor they were on so they were all waiting for me outside of the elevator and they were screaming my name cuz they were scared lol..and I got out and I was like thank god and then nina was yelling at us before the doors were closed about how we should play hard to get and then the elevator doors started closing and she was like "PLAY HARD TO GET PLAY HARD TO GET" were like omg shoot us. I was so scared and my dad told them that we all have to stick together and then they lost me. It was hilarious though. Then we decided we wanted to walk downtown so we started to and it was freezing so we started walking in the circle doors and a lady on the michrophone was like "please step forward and do not block the door" and then she was like "please step forward and do not block the door!!!" and emily screamed out "we would if you fucking move it" and then she moved the door for us. It was so funny we kept making fun of her.Then yesterday on the way there in the car emily was talking to my dad and she goes "do you have a summer car?" and im like "oh my gosh I can't believe shes asking him this" and then we were talking about dinner and he goes "ash you can just put it on the card" and then someone was like "that sounds so like you two are on laguna beach" and im like "um do you mean me pay for my food on the card?" and he goes "no you can pay for everyone" im like "holy cow" so he did. He's so nice!!! He was like "I dont care what you buy or what you do just don't get kicked out" so then later on that night at like 2am we were hungry so we orderd room service..then in the morning we ordered more room service..I had like a 5 course meal when I woke up. We went to chek out and my dad seen our bills and he goes "gp sports bar, room service, in room movies, room service, starbucks, etc" it was funny..When the guy that brought our room service to us she was like "just charge it to our room" lol..shes so funny. She slept on the floor under the certains cuz she was talking on the phone there and she fell asleep. We had this huge bed in our room and in kourt,megan,britt,and brittanys room they had two beds. It was weird and today we found this trapt door thing behind a mirror, well actually kourtney did but it was really awesome. Then yesterday we were in the elevator and emily was holding the door open cuz we were waiting for elyse or something and then all of the sudden the alarms started going off and so we just started running lol. Then today at starbucks the guy gave us a free frap. cuz he thought we were hot..not because he made an extra one lol..Anyways I g2g. Peace.

<3 ashley

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anachronism

:: 2005 6 November :: 4.15pm

Makes me laugh every time.
That's fucked uuup!


When in Rome.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 6 November :: 3.09pm

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I knew this would happen.

I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you.

And for you I'm pretty sure I'm starting to hate you.

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anachronism

:: 2005 5 November :: 12.56pm

Rest in Peace, Tim.
This is for you and your family, Kelly.
Read more..

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swimfan14

:: 2005 5 November :: 12.13pm

My phone has rang eight times in the last hour and i'm getting really annoyed. I think I should just turn it off. Haha kidding.

I'm so excited for today/tonight! It's going to be soo much fun.

Jess and I are going to buy each other balloons for our b-day and were also going to move to California together!! Lol.

9 days until my wonderful birthday!!!!

Anyways I g2g.

<3 ash

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anachronism

:: 2005 5 November :: 11.23am
:: Music: Against Me!

Blah, blah, blah.
This is what happens when you people let me get bored. Look what you've done!
Read more..

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swimfan14

:: 2005 4 November :: 7.36pm

Aww Mishy you are so sweet. I can't believe some of the things you said. They are too sweet and you know me better then you think.

I'll post it just so everyone can read it:

1. Give me a new nickname and explain why you picked it.
Actually, I would just call you Ashley. I think that you've had enough of nicknames, and "Little One" makes you sound like a little kid, and you arent.
2. Am I loveable?
Very.
3. How long have you known me?
Let's see. Around two and a half years, but we've become much much closer this year.
4. When and how did we first meet?
October 03, drama class.
5. What was your first impression?
"She has a really pretty nose and her laugh is cute. She seems sweet."
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
Yes, only my opinion is better, because I know you now.
7. What do you think my weakness is?
Him.
8. Do you think I'll get married?
Definitely.
9. What makes me happy?
California, The O.C., Modeling, acting, music, Him.
10. What makes me sad?
Being confused about Him, living in Cedar.
11. What reminds you of me?
The O.C., california, Gold digger, "Why?", gossip girl, "Goodbye to You"...more
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
A redhot acting career and a huge mansion in LA, along with of course, happiness with Him.
13. How well do you know me?
Well, I do not know your favorite food, or color, or your birthday, things like that. However, I do think we're close, and you know why :) I will learn those other things in time.
14. When's the last time you saw me?
Today, during Anatomy.
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
Absolutely not, the exact opposite actually.
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
Never.
17. Describe me in one word.
Star.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or
staying the same?
Stronger.
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I
would listen?
Yes. yes. yes.
20. If there were a movie about my life, who would play me?
YOU would play you. :) No one else could do it better.
21. Who would play you in the movie about my life?
Hmm.. Christina Ricci.
22. Who is my hero?
Hmm.. I really don't know. Dad perhaps?

Your definately right about everything and nobody will know why were so close, ever.

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