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2004 16 June :: 1.48 am
:: Mood: calm
Call me morbid, call me pale
I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
And now it's happening in mine
Katie and Tracey leave in two hours. Okay, it's less than two now because this entry took longer than I thought it would.
Today, I went over to spend the day with Katie. I woke up at 10 to 1 though so I guess it wasn't really the entire day. We hung out for a while at her house and helped her finish packing. She lent me her Pikachu for company on the plane since I'm afraid of flying and her little brother gave me chocolate.
We were heading downtown with Tom when I asked her if she minded if we took a detour to Ben's to see him and Nick for a bit.
We hung around there forever. Kyle showed up sometime. Katie had to go home at (5? 6?) I don't remember. I walked her home and tried not to cry. I succeeded.
I then hung around watching Kyle and Ben playing Halo and Nick play Halo on the computer. We're such geeks.
Kyle eventually went home and I was just hanging out with Ben and Nick. It was fun. At some point, they decided they wanted to see a movie and roped tons of people into it before convincing me to call my mom and beg for money.
We (Ben, Nick, Brigitte, Brett, Jackie, Nick's sister, Nick's sister's guy and I) saw Stepford Wives at 10:summat. An odd movie, it was. I'm not quite sure what I think about it yet, I did like it though. Quite the dumb ending. People need to learn to stop while they're ahead.
We all stood around talking for a while before heading off our separate ways.
Brigitte gave me one of those paper lamp things that I've wanted forever. I love her to death and now I love her more. If that's possible.
I broke a promise of mine today and have been slowly breaking it over the past few forevers. I promised myself that I would never date the same guy twice. Seeing Ben and Jackie, Lil Ben and Kristy and Katie and Tom all get together (not all of them as a whole but as their own individual couples) after/during trying once (or more than once) at a relationship, sort of crushed my thoughts/hopes and dreams of ever trying a relationship more than once. Ever the optimist, (and one who never really stopped liking one of her ex-boyfriends) I decided I wouldn't let other people's experiences build a frame for the world I live in.
In short, Nick and I are together again.
So the yelling about how I didn't blah de blah and how I'm a such and such, just like last time, can begin now.
I love you all very much.
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2004 14 June :: 11.57 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Morrissey
I love you all.
All you have to do to fly is throw yourself at the ground and miss.
P.S. This is for Kelly and Amanda. It's called Meat is Murder
Read more..
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2004 14 June :: 10.27 pm
:: Mood: awake
I don't mind if you forget me
I've been in a Morrissey/The Smiths mood lately and I don't know why.
I was reading this interview with Morrissey in an Entertainment Weekly issue that I never got around to reading and he said a few things that made me nod in agreement and some more that made me laugh.
"But I certainly think B. Spears is...the devil. The way she projects herself and the fact that she is so obviously vacuous. I think it's such a shame that she became so influential to very small children. Most of the faces I see on the cover of American music magazines are just dreadful--people with nothing to offer the world at all."
"I have been accused of everything that a human being can be accused of."
"One thing to David Bowie's credit: He has refused [to accept a knighthood]. Probably because he wants to be, I don't know, Lady-in-Waiting."
My favorite:
"It's not really that I'm a depressing person. It's simply that I'm not a bouncing moron."
"Lots of people feel they are part of the unrequited club, but they don't admit it because it is seen as a sign of weakness."
"I do feel I'm just overburdened with affection and love, but I can't offload it because people are rather undeserving, or life is generally just too...brittle. So I find most of it remains locked inside me."
I heart Morrissey. He's just so out-there and sarcastically controversial that he doesn't care what people think.
I love you all.
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2004 14 June :: 12.39 am
m1 d4y
I did nothing really. I slept in til 2 and went to Katie's bye bye party at almost 6.
We partied, we had fun, I smell like campfire.
I'm going to miss Katie a lot. A lot.
Sigh. Have fun in Germany, bestest fren. I'll love you to death and miss you like floof while you're gone. Hopefully see you before Wednesday, if not, I'll call you and say goodbye.
And Tracey, you can't forget about Tracey. Who will stay up all night with me IM-ing and playing RS? Who will be totally strange and insane with me? Sigh. I'll miss her hair.
The end.
I love you all.
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2004 13 June :: 3.24 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: The Smiths/Morrissey
A rant on Moz, society and tolerance
You have to love anti-American songs.
You should read all the stupid people being all upset over Morrissey and one of his latest songs. They're all "I loved Moz while he was bashing everyone else but once he bashes me, I'm appalled."
People need to chill and stop taking things so seriously. It's a song for goodness sake. If you don't like it, don't buy it or skip the track and shut up. Geez!
And everyone's mad because he said he'd rather Bush died than Reagan. They say he should apologize, yadda yadda. My thing is, it's his opinion. Last thing I heard, we were allowed to voice our opinions. The only people who are mad at him are stupid Americans. Those Brits don't really care. Plus, I believe he is either half-kidding or doing that mocking of himself that he tends to do when people say he’s depressed and controversial.
Morrissey is controversial. He always has been. He wrote songs with racial connotations, one of his songs was entitled Suedehead and many of his songs have homosexual connotations. If you buy one of his CDs expecting it to be nursery rhymes you can sing to your children or filled with songs that won't offend you, you don't know Moz and shouldn't be buying one of his CDs.
People take things to heart a lot more than they should. If you don't like it, change the channel, turn it off, don't listen, look away, don't buy it, shut up. Complaining about it gets you nowhere. "Oh I hate this CD because the first song is bashing America and our American way of life. And me!" Skip the track then! Why'd you buy it? Can't you see the list of songs on the back of the CD? How hard is it to change instead of complain?
You know what? Here are the lyrics to the "anti-American" song on his latest CD. I don't think he's bashing America so much as telling us to open our eyes to see how full of ourselves we are.
Anyway, it's called America is Not the World and Morrissey is absolutely correct. America's not the world. So if you don't like something, take care of it on your own. Don't act like since you don't like it, it's evil and wrong.
Read more..
I love you all.
"I want to live and I want to Love. I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of."
P.S. My current desktop theme thingy. Multiple hearts to Sally. I love you to death.
Read more..
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2004 13 June :: 12.52 am
:: Mood: indescribable
Halo Halo Halo, I made you out of clay...
Check it out, yo. Right at the top of my journal.
I can't wait.
I love you all.
P.S. C'est tous pour vous.
P.P.S. If I say it once, I'll say it a thousand, thousand times: You've got to love Morrissey.
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2004 12 June :: 6.49 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: The Smiths/Morrissey
Typical me, I started something and now I'm not too sure
The ACT wasn't totally horrible. Minus the math part.
After that stupid standardized test of my intelligence, I hung out with Ben and Nick. It was nice. We really didn't do much but I hadn't hung out with them in a while so it was perfect I thought. But I'm crazy.
Then I went up to see Katie for a bit. And that's it.
Lovely day, ne?
We're going to watch the fireworks downtown again, this time at my sister's friend's grandmother's house.
You're not right in the head and nor am I
And this why
You're not right in the head and nor am I
And this why
This is why I like you
You've got to love Morrissey.
I love you all.
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2004 12 June :: 12.10 am
I didn't make it to Jackie's at all and I feel bad about it. Her present's sitting unwrapped on the table. I'll try to see if I can stop by her house sometime.
I'm feeling a little better.
I have to take the ACT tomorrow at 8 at our stupid school. I thought I'd gotten rid of that building for the summer.
I'm going to suck at the ACT because I haven't had math in a year and really suck at algebra. I took it before in 7th grade and did okay even without the math so I'm hoping I didn't get any dumber/less smart.
The math is all I'm worried about.
Either way, it's not the end of the world. I can always re-take it.
I love you all.
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2004 11 June :: 1.44 pm
My squiddlysmooch!
My spleen...
Arg. I'm not feeling good at all. Before I go to Jackie's I'm going to take a ton of meds.
Speaking of which, I'm going to go finish her present.
Oh yeah, before I go. My mother told me today that if I was ever an intern at the White House, I had her permission to sleep with the president. Not that I ever would but sigh, I love my family. They're so hilarious and random.
My mom says Bush is like Hitler. It's so weird that I almost agree with her. You should her all of her arguments. I just think he's an android but I'm weird.
I love you all.
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2004 10 June :: 11.28 pm
I might not show up at the anime thing tomorrow.
I'm not feeling that great. I didn't get any sleep at all last night and I haven't eaten much today.
Plus Fred's beating me to pieces and I need to put the finishing touches on Jackie's present. (I've got a lot to finish, I'm such a procrastinator.)
If I do end up going, I'll have to leave early so I have enough time to finish the present.
Blarg.
I love you all.
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2004 10 June :: 12.15 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
Me = got no sleep. Literally.
I'm worn out.
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2004 10 June :: 1.13 am
:: Mood: disappointed
Changed my journal layout. New icon too (like that doesn't happen everyday).
The theme is this picture.
Red, black and white. I was getting tired of mostly black with a little white.
Random meme
Read more..
I love you all.
P.S. If anyone has any broken watches/watches that don't work/have a dead battery, may I have them?
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2004 9 June :: 9.05 pm
Doot dee doot
You are the Marquis Da Sade. Even stripped of
exaggerations, Your real life was as dramatic
and as tragic as a cautionary tale. Born to an
ancient and noble house, you were married
(against your wishes) to a middle-class heiress
for money, caused scandals with prostitutes and
with your sister-in-law, thus enraging your
mother-in-law, who had you imprisoned under a
lettre de cachet for 14 years until the
Revolution freed you. Amphibian, protean,
charming, you became a Revolutionary,
miraculously escaping the guillotine during the
Terror, only to be arrested later for
publishing your erotic novels. You spent your
final 12 years in the insane asylum at
Charenton, where you caused another scandal by
directing plays using inmates and professional
actors. You died there in 1814, virtually in
the arms of your teenage mistress.
You are a revolutionary deviant. I applaud you.
Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I have a spleen.
I love you all.
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2004 9 June :: 4.44 pm
Anime club
Friday 11ish
That one guy's house, ask me for really non-specific directions.
Be there, or be cool
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2004 9 June :: 12.55 am
My angel
Back story comes first.
This kid who sat in front of me in my Japanese class is an awesome artist. Phenomenal, really.
One day he came to class with a picture he drew of Terry Bradshaw. It looked so like him that it was sort of creepy. All throughout the hour he kept lifting up the picture and saying, "What would Terry Bradshaw think about that?" or "What would Terry Bradshaw do?” It was quite an entertaining day.
So, of course, everyone is fawning over Terry Bradshaw and they start bidding for him. "I'll pay two bucks for it" "I'll pay five” And you can't tell if they're kidding or being almost serious.
So, of course, I add in, half-joking, "I'll pay twenty."
The kid turns around, looks at me like I'm crazy (which I am when it comes to money, I generally give it away to anyone) and asks if I'm serious. I shrug and say I'll bring the money the next day. He hands me the picture and I hand it to a kid who wanted it more.
He thought I was crazy and refused to take the money without drawing me something. I gave him the money the next day and wouldn't tell him what I wanted. I didn't want anything. I just wanted to be weird/nice.
So all week I'm thinking about it and I finally tell him that if he feels he has to draw me something, it'd be cool to have wings or an angel.
Periodically, he and I walked down to the art room so he could show me my angel. He was working on it as his final project.
The last day of school he gives me the angel. He states that he got an A on it.
And wow. I wish I'd given him more than 20 bucks.
There was one word at the bottom: Peace. My scanner isn't that large though so I couldn't fit it in the picture. But that's what that "p" is the beginning of. Peace.
Oh, as a warning, it'll be big. I tried to scale it down but any smaller and it would've lost its grandeur.
Oh I can't get it all lined up right so here it is in pieces. She looks so beautiful if you can see her right... Sigh sob.
Read more..
I love you all.
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2004 8 June :: 10.59 pm
Calling to the state next door is long distance isn't it?
I could call you on my mom's cell phone. Or ours. On the weekends. When I'm in Oregon and California.
I mean, if you're feeling bad or down or something.
If you still are when I'm over there.
If you think that's okay. But I mean, if you don't want me to...
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
Um.
Yeah...
I love you all.
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2004 8 June :: 10.35 pm
Alex...
It's the fall that kills you.
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2004 8 June :: 1.47 pm
My cat, McHenry (we call him Mickey, he's named after where we lived in Illinois), is eight years old.
He's the "mean one". He's all black, like a Halloween kitty. You can't pick him up and even I can only sometimes. If you pet him for too long or in some way he doesn't like, he'll bite you. I've never had this happen to me but it happens to my little brother's friends and then I laugh. He used to grab your leg as you walked by in the hallway or on the stairs and bite you but he grew out of that as he grew older.
My mother always raised me under the belief that cats lived for right around 15 years. That's how long her cats always lived and that's what she knew.
I woke up this morning and McHenry was in my room making those Maine Coon noises he picked up from our other cats. He walked over onto my bed and did that cute cat thing where they rub their face against your hand. I started petting him and he's losing all this hair, his hair is all greasy, he's got kitty dandruff it looks like and he's got a few gray hairs here and there.
Can cats turn gray?
His coat is usually pretty and sleek. He never looks anything but elegant.
So I got worried, like I always do, that Mickey's getting old. I go to google, I look up cat lifespans and here's what they give me:
- At about age seven a cat can be considered "middle-aged", and at age 10 and beyond - old.
- The average lifespan of indoor cats is 12.5 years.
So yeah. I can't even remember where I was going with this. Andy got talking to me and I lost my train of thought.
Oh. Mickey's old and I always planned on moving out and taking him with me. And now it doesn't look like that's going to happen really. And that makes me sad.
That was my point, really. It lost its splendor when I got distracted. I'm still distraught and I'll probably go pet him a lot now.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
I love you all.
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2004 8 June :: 2.07 am
I wish I weighed more.
Or at least had more fat on my body.
Or more muscle.
Or more something.
I can see my ribs.
I'm all skin and bones.
And I hate it.
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2004 7 June :: 1.13 pm
It's the fall that kills you, not the landing.
I apologize for my entry on "The Best Mix". It was extremely biased and I wasn't in the best mood to look at it objectively.
I apologize to all those who took it seriously.
And yeah.
Editorals are biased anyway.
I haven't played Fatal Frame 2 in five days. I'm a chicken wuss.
73h 3nd.
Did everyone see my angel? I'll scan her in if you want to see her. I love her to death. I'm going to see if we can get a frame to put her in.
I love you all.
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