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2004 16 August :: 11.51 pm
Steven King is much better as a columnist than an author.
"Riding that high horse has to be uncomfortable, especially with that stick up your butt."
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2004 16 August :: 10.11 pm
When Americans win gold medals, they just sort of mouth the words to the national anthem. The Australians bellow theirs.
Anime club was pretty okay. We watched Cowboy Bebop which I'd seen some of. Katie and I were just clutching to each other during the final episode.
Why, Spike-kun, why?
I apologize to anyone who tried to call me. We were watching anime in Jacques' basement and the phone was being fickle. Reception. No reception. Calling. Cut off your call, loser.
So I have two voicemails but I don't know how to work it. Eheh...
Anyway. My sister had her physical today so she can play tennis this year. Guess what? She has scoliosis. Hee. Miss Perfect Posture has scoliosis. She'll get an x-ray on Friday to see how bad it is and she'll have to be in physical therapy and do some exercise every day for the rest of her life.
It's sort of weird. My dad had scoliosis so my mom knew one of us would get it. I have bad posture so she thought it'd be me. Silly.
I don't know what I'm rambling about.
I swore today. For the first time in a long while. I felt really bad about it. Even though I was quoting a song, I still felt bad.
I love you all.
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2004 15 August :: 10.42 pm
When is everyone going to orientation on Tuesday?
I was thinking later.
Probably around eleven.
Does anyone want to hang out after orientation? We'll be true blue seniors then. I've been really bored and I crave social contact.
Tomorrow we have an anime club get together thing. I really wish I could drive because I don't want to stay there forever. I want to hang out with people but a room full of geeks just wears on you.
We'll be at Jacques' house. I love his house.
Someone call me then. During anime club. I'll have an excuse to leave. Oh, phone! I'll have the cell phone! 560-6279...call me, please.
I really don't want to stay there forever. We're supposedly watching an entire series but I don't really feel like it. That might take 13 hours. Please don't keep me there. Please don't make me stay. Call me! Anyone!
I love you all.
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2004 15 August :: 3.47 pm
Last night
Last night was one of the best nights in my entire life so far.
At around 8, Jackie called and said she was bored, so we were all going to hang out around 8:30.
Around 9, I asked Jackie if she could give me a ride because my mom didn't want to take me and I didn't want my dad to drive. And I didn't want to drive.
Kyle and Brett had a roaring bonfire going when Jackie, Katie and I showed up. We hung out around the fire, eating stale marshmallows with Brett and Kyle occasionally throwing boards (and cabinet doors) into it.
After a few camp songs from Kyle, we went inside and made pasta. At around 10.
Katie went home around 10:30. Kyle, Brett and I played Tenshu until they left at 11:30ish.
Ben showed up around who knows when. Jackie, Ben and I played Soul Calibur 2 until we tired of it and Jackie went to take me home while Ben went to drive home.
Here's where it gets really fun.
Ben, on his way over to Jackie's, helped Jackie's brother out of the sand. There's construction on Jackie's road with sand on one half of the road and dirt/gravel stuff on the other.
Irony struck as we pulled out of Jackie's road.
Ben was stuck in the sand. Really really stuck.
After trying to get him out, we decided to call Nick, since he has his dad's truck, so he could help pull Ben out.
I must have called his house ten or fifteen times before his sister picked up and said he never came home from work. Ben had the brilliant idea that Nick might have stopped by his house. I called Ben's house and his sister said Nick went to eDEN.
I told Jackie that I didn't know eDEN's phone number but that it was on their website. Jackie called her brother and had him look up the phone number.
I called eDEN and got a hold of Nick.
Eventually, Nick came (almost got stuck in the sand himself) and pulled Ben out.
We hung around for a while talking then decided spontaneously to go over to Meijer's. At 3:30 or 4 in the morning.
It was fun. Really fun.
We sat around in Jackie's car listening to music until Nick decided he was tired, I was tired and took me home.
I got home at around 4:40 or 4:50. I didn't really get yelled at. I accidentally woke up my mom and she just asked why I was home so late.
w00t. I'm waiting for her to talk to me about it. I really need a curfew. The lack of one frustrates me.
Last night rocked. I felt like a true teenager. It was kind of weird but immensely fun.
I love you all.
P.S. Have you seen those crappy Rockford commercials? I could make a better one for goodness sake.
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2004 14 August :: 6.57 pm
:: Music: Bad Dreams by Flaming June
My daddy is home
My dad came home from the hospital today.
Here's where I get to go into a long explanation that I don't feel like going into.
Yesterday my mom told me that they were going to give him some lung test thingy because they didn't think he had blood clots after all.
Here's where I get to rant.
I don't like doctors. I don't like scientists. I can't even believe I wanted to be a scientist person.
If they can't prove how something got to be where it is or how it is what it is, they prove how it isn't. They disprove what they proved in the first place.
So since the doctor people couldn't find how the blood clots got in his lungs, the proved that the blood clots weren't even there.
HA!
So my dad will just be going on this new diet and taking things carefully and slowly. They're keeping an eye on him.
And he's home.
Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts and well-wishes.
Really, right now, I'm worried that something is wrong and the doctors are just being stupid.
On a higher note, Hannah and I were watching the men's swimming Olympic pre-final things and we were rooting for the guys with cool names.
I am not making these names up.
Thijs van Valkengoed
Oleg Lisogor
We really liked Thijs (pronounced "tace" apparently) and it wasn't until we looked up the meaning of his name that we found out it wasn't just because of his awesome name.
Thijs means "God's gift to woman" or just "God's gift".
Which strikes me as hilarious.
Oleg means something about being holy or blessed or something.
Nothing can beat Thijs. I think I might name my kid Thijs if I can ever get it into my head that it's not pronounced "thid-jis" but "tace".
I love you all.
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2004 14 August :: 3.38 pm
Emotion Dump makes me sick.
It used to be such a nice place to go. A place to just spill everything and listen to people's problems.
Now it's just a cesspool of insensitive idiots.
It makes me mad.
Can't you show some compassion? Does insulting someone over the internet boost your ego?
Oh wow. Look at you, Mr. High and Mighty. Mr. I Just Insulted Someone Over the Internet And That Makes Me So Smurfing Cool.
Ug.
I remember Andy saying he got the idea for emodump off of livejournal.
P.S. Three lazy icons on hoshi-ko.
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2004 13 August :: 12.01 am
:: Mood: lonely
Some things never do change... never do change....
My dad...
I don't even want to go into all that went down today concerning him.
If you want to know so badly, ask me later.
He's coming home maybe tomorrow but that's really all I feel like going through.
I am feeling so incredibly lonely right now. Fred came last night. I'm just hurting and feeling terribly exhausted.
Yarr.
I love you all.
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2004 13 August :: 5.08 pm
:: Mood: blah
I took this political compass quiz that was in Kelly's journal.
I'm not as left winged (if I can say that) as I thought I was. I didn't understand what half the questions said though. My excuses.
Economic Left/Right: -4.75
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.51
Read more..
I love you all.
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2004 12 August :: 11.52 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Straw Dog by Something Corporate
Hey, now. The straw dog's out in the street. Hey, now. There's chemicals in the clouds.
And it's not what it seems
Nothing's the same when you give it away
No it's not what it seems
It's just what you think it is
So today marks two months for Nick and me. Time sure flies when you're having fun.
I love that kid to death.
He came along with us when we went to see my dad today so he could bring Dad's car home.
It was nice of him and I don't think I ever thanked him.
My dad kept getting moved around because they don't know what's wrong with him and everything.
It was kind of freaky seeing him today. They took his IV out because it was hurting him and he started bleeding. It just sort of brought my dad down from invincible parent to human being.
And I was scared.
I'm listening to music that I think I've mocked before. I want to take this moment to retract any statements I have made against any band or music form.
I got my hairs cut.
Trivial. Trivial. Trivial.
Ben, Nick and I were talking on the phone last night and we got into what I thought was the deepest conversation we had ever been in. It started with Ben saying something about freeing Tibet and ended with a debate over right and wrong.
I got so deep into the conversation that I felt helpless. I ended up crying a lot more than I have for a long time.
It was one of those moments where I put everything into perspective and got totally overwhelmed. I was thinking about all the things that were going wrong in the world and I couldn't can't do anything about it. (I wanna read good news, good news. I wanna go to sleep at night again. I wanna read good news, good news. But nothing good is happening.)
It was amazing really.
But I'm silly.
I love you all.
I'm willing to break myself
To shake
This hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days
More reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much
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2004 11 August :: 9.01 pm
:: Mood: calm
Cardiovascular is a fun word.
We went to see my dad today. It was kind of scary seeing him with tubes in his arms.
He looked so small in that bed.
They might move him to another floor because his doctor wants him to be on her floor or something. Right now he's on the cardiovascular floor.
He's staying at the hospital until Sunday and maybe longer.
He's on some medicine to dissolve the clots. He'll be on the blood thinners for a while. There's some diet he has to be on for his blood thinner medicine and another diet to get him in shape.
But so far, so good.
The blood clots might have been caused (somehow) by his sleep apnea.
My mom was sort of freaking out because her brother, my uncle, was feeling short of breath a week before he died. She really pushed for my dad to go to the hospital because she didn't want another person in the family to die.
My family is crazy.
I love you all.
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2004 10 August :: 12.30 am
:: Mood: worried
My daddy is in the hospital
So I had promised myself today that I wouldn't Woohu until Monday but I need to.
Today Ben, Brigitte, Nick and I went to the mall. Nick and I were hanging out afterwards when the cell phone rang.
My mom said she was taking my dad to the hospital. She said he was feeling bad all day, it was too late to go to the doctors and she didn't want to wait until tomorrow.
It turns out he was having trouble breathing. My mom called about an hour ago and said that he had blood clots in his lungs.
He'll be on blood thinners for five days I think she said so we're not going to Ohio this weekend.
They're keeping him overnight and maybe more than that, maybe for those five days, but at least until they find out how the blood clots got there.
My mom isn't worried but she specifically said she wasn't worried and that it's nothing to worry about. That makes me think that she's on uppers today. My dad, of course, is worried.
So hopefully everything's okay and there isn't anything to worry about.
I'm going to worry and pray anyway.
I'll probably go see him tomorrow since my mom has to grab his car from the hospital.
On a slightly higher note, Nick's grandfather is doing pretty okay. For a while he had an abnormal heart rhythm but I think he's doing fine now.
I love you all.
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2004 9 August :: 7.24 am
:: Mood: tired
Band names
Phosphorescent Julio
Teeming with Hernandez
Child of Spleen
[edit 8:01]
Rue Tomorrow
Plethora of Alliteration and Onomatopoeia
Hindsight is Blind
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2004 9 August :: 2.01 am
:: Mood: amused
I less than three you.
That's the best thing I've heard all day.
I love you all.
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2004 8 August :: 3.27 am
WOO! CAN'T SLEEP!
"If I had enough money to be on MTV’s Cribs, I’d have an entire room covered in blubble-wrap, with bubble-wrap area rugs and a bubble-wrap recliner, and I’d walk around stylin in my bubble-wrap bling."
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2004 7 August :: 9.45 pm
My parents are gone.
They've been gone since 4.
They'll be gone until late tonight.
To keep us company (and since we make them feel so bad when they leave without much of a warning) they bought us the newest Nancy Drew PC game.
I haven't even touched it yet. Hannah won the coin toss, like always, and got to play it first. She's been playing since 2 or 3.
I love those Nancy Drew games.
I've been watching CSI season one for the four billionth time.
Katie comes home tomorrow. I'll probably head over there around 4.
So anyway, my parents are gone. If anyone wants to stop by and see a nasty, unshowered girl, stop by my house. We'll eat popcorn and talk about cows. If you want to see a clean, showered girl, call me before you come. I'll get clean and dressed just for you.
I love you all.
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2004 7 August :: 12.57 pm
I really wish I got to say goodbye
Does anyone have chalk?
Katie comes home tomorrow!
I love you all.
I'm sure the view from Heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in Heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here
You won't be coming back
And I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye
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2004 7 August :: 1.12 am
:: Music: Hanging On by Everyday Sunday
Everyday Sunday reminds me of Everyday is Like Sunday by The Smiths. Just the name though. The band is much happier.
I'm trying so hard not to fall
But everything keeps coming down with the rain
And I try so hard I forget to call.
Things are beautiful.
How can you not see it?
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2004 5 August :: 3.10 pm
I apologize to anyone who has tried to call me today (because so many people do).
My mom has been on the phone since forever. I think she woke up with the phone to her ear.
My dad has called who knows how many times on her cell phone, trying to get ahold of her. He even, for some desperate reason, called us kids' cell phone.
I think she's talking to one of the relatives. (She just went out to the garage. Is she going to smoke and talk now?)
Sigh. Anyway that's it. Just a rant.
I love you all.
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2004 4 August :: 11.23 pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: Stairway to Heaven
You humble people everywhere
Night.
No matter how much I love it, it's the worst time of day for me.
I'm sleepy and everything that has built up over the day (or week) just comes rushing out.
In a flurried blur of black and stars.
I'm sore.
Inside and out.
I love the nighttime.
I love you all.
There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
And you know sometimes words have two meanings
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2004 4 August :: 7.50 pm
I wants for me an iPod
Rawr!
I am Rachel, hear me roar!
I love you all.
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