This One Time At Band Camp...

i'm sorry. i feel really bad.

BUT I AM NOT CAPABLE OF WORKING IN GROUPS.

i cannot do it, even with people i like. even if the project is super hard, i'd so much rather do it alone.

that way i don't have to depend on anyone except myself and then no
on has to depend on me.

and this time i got forced into the leader position. SARAH COHEN is the most aggressive person in this group. . .

so i don't know how to lead people and they don't do what i ask anyway, so what the hell does it matter?

it's painful. excrusiating.

i don't trust anyone to to their own work right (the way i want it) if they even do it at all, so i take all the work and i can and get mad because no one is helping me.

ps-i think i hate my roomate too.

5 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 20 October :: 4.06pm

no seriously. umm i got a job in september and it hasn't started yet. they finally called me yesterday to ask about my availabiltiy and then i call back and there isn't anyone in the office. for two days.

and i can't even work during break. so i'll have like a month of a job and then nothing.

WHAT THE DEAL???!!!!!??!?!?!??!?

2 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 20 October :: 3.57pm

so i'm trying to be a good person. like not so bitchy and complainy and mean and two faced. i'm annoying myself.

but i feel so spiteful and vindicitve. and guilty. esp. guilty.

i want to go home right now. it's not that i hate it here. i actually like it a lot, but my house sounds really good right now.

5 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 19 October :: 10.49pm

it's that feeling where you hate everyone, but still want them to love you.

4 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 18 October :: 4.12pm

so yesterday started the official sarah is not a jerk era in my life.

i'm doing okay considering.

except that i was just mean to my mom. i didn't mean to be. but now i just feel like punching something big time.

2 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.22pm

and why do people act so suprised when you do things alone?

i don't want pity. i want silence.

ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.15pm

oh my gooooosssssssssh........!

can't you even take a hint? can't you ever stop talking or making noise?

i can't stand your stupid face and voice. you're really dumb and annoying.

can't you just go away?

far far away. go. now. leave me.

ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 14 October :: 7.01pm
:: Music: all american rejects-it ends tonight

I'm so bored and sad right now, but I'm not running to Jake.

Take that mom.

1 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 11 October :: 6.30pm
:: Music: red hot chile peppers coming from kevin's room at an unnessarily loud volume

my goal this week was to just lump it. But it's not working out. killing someone would be okay though.

I'm eating candy and i'm not supposed to be doing that
fuck. i'm hungary.

as for lumping it. probably not happening cause i'm so pissed.

10 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 6 October :: 3.27pm

okay so. . .every time i walk my building i am screaming in my head. not any words, but yelling.

there's something creepy in my room and i think it's going to kill me.
seriously.

i am going to freak out because i'm not sure what's going on.

am i being picky and judgemental and mean? am i really trying?

yeah. so i bet god is way pissed at me because i can't even bother to be sincerely nice.

ahhh. i don't know. i just don't like it. am i supposed to like everyone? am i supposed to be good to those i like the least. it's hard. it's really really really really hard. and i'm not even good at faking things.

plus i'm really petty. seriously a hugh bitch is what i am. and i hate pretending. i hateeeeeeeeee ittttt.

ugh, but other people have told me the same thing, so it's probably not just me. still. i'm not being good.

4 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

sugarmouse0587

:: 2005 6 October :: 1.14pm
:: Mood: delicious

right now i am eating taco sause off a cheese stick.

sooooo good

ok...i was in band....