godessalthena
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2021 1 February :: 8.13am
:: Mood: crushed
had to quit d&d because someone was being paranoid that I was trying to get him killed and fucking tried at me for how I play the game.
if it was the first time is be like whatever, even if it was the 3rd time, but this shit has been going on at least a year and I'm fucking over it.
I'm not really used to people hating me like that for no reason. I'm not great at the game, the rules are convoluted and boring, I just wanted to role play. but I couldn't even do that without someone always talking over me.
just like in my real life. I'm so fucking boring people can't even wait until I'm done talking before they start their own story.
I'm so boring even my bf constantly ditches me.
I'm literally the most boring doormat. you just want me money and my effort, you don't want ME.
it feels like no one wants me.
rejected toy painted with lead paint
repugnant petulant
MUNDANE, MOROSE, TEDIOUS, DULL, DISAPPOINTING, CHUCKLEHEAD dumb ass bitch.
I hate every day.
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godessalthena
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2021 29 January :: 11.47pm
had to quit d&d
I'm bummed
but I'm done wasting my precious time off dealing with that asshat.
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godessalthena
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2021 27 January :: 8.25am
in my freshman year in college I had a lot of feminine issues and saw SEVERAL doctors
but the one I remember the most was the one that handed me a mirror and let me watch the exam and told me what I was looking at.
that woman made a fundamental difference to my life, and I wish I could thank her. I hope she's alive and well and doing well.
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godessalthena
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2021 22 January :: 1.19pm
I'm starting to feel like there are only like 5 people who would call me a friend.
the rest are just people I interact with occasionally, for 5 years, we can't be friends.
I just can't fucking make friends.
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godessalthena
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2021 19 January :: 8.31am
:: Music: smashmouth Lord help me
smashmouth and cake always remind me of better times. I've been looking back more and more at my experiences, and I feel myself slipping away into a lethal kind of nostalgia.
I miss the friends I used to have.
I miss giving a strong impression of a sense of self.
I miss having fun.
All I really want are more people I can laugh until I cry with.
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