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2005 14 May :: 7.20am
Now that I'm calmer I suppose I can explain my previous confusing post.
So I had to take the bus home friday, which pissed me off because everyone on my bus is loud (Not your typical loud, this is like, ear piercing loud. And they always roll up paper and smack one another with it, which creates this snapping whip sound that grinds at my soul). Then I got home and my sister was online. Then I discovered that Stunkel had tried calling for a ride home, but it never got through for some reason, and I felt terrible. These were all minor.
Then I discovered that Stunkel couldn't make it to the con. This created a few tears, half of which because I was looking forward to being with him all weekend, and half of which out of slight anger because the whole reason I had no place to stay is because I was trying to find a place for us to stay together. I had a spot in Brittany's hotel room, but just for me, and when Stunkel came along I had to tell her to fill my spot up because I was going to stay with Stunkel no matter what. But I cant be mad at him, its not his fault.
Then I got to the con and worse news came about (Jorie, if you're curious, when you called you probably noticed that I was crying, and I think you presumed I was still crying about Stunkel not going, but in truth I had just found out about the following like 5 minutes before you called) As soon as I stepped into the con, Kim said "Kristen, I need to talk to you...alone" so we went into her hotel room when she told me "...So I know we promised to keep our knowledge of the affair secret from our parents... but I've walked in on them having sex, and seen them cuddling on my couch before, so I needed to bring it up to my dad. He told me that your mom and him were planning on getting married in October, and moving to Arizona, because my dad'll be retiring." Shes not a terribly reliable source, but its a believable story.
How terrible would that be? I've finally got a life... a bunch of great friends, I'm very involved in afterschool activities, I've got the next 2 years planned out for VHHS, I'm already looking at Illinois colleges, not to mention a steady boyfriend that I am not about to leave because my mom wants to live with her affair of 2 years.
I'm sure my dad wouldn't go to Arizona, so he'd be staying here, probably in the same house. I would just tell the court that I want to stay with my dad, they can't force me to leave to Arizona if they hear my reasoning, right? If they dont then I'll just file for independence, I'd do anything to stay here.
The weird thing is, if this had happened about 4 months ago, I would have gladly gone "Good! I'm finally getting out of this goddamn school district with no potential friends, I can live near Faithy!!!" and probably wouldn't have even tried to make any friends, wouldn't have gotten more involved in theatre, and wouldn't have met Stunkel. A terrible thought, makes me wonder what other wonderous things I've missed in life...
1 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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pixeldot
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2005 13 May :: 6.25pm
I stood proud and tall, all plans made, and those not made were of no stress to me. I stepped on alot of people to get to my place at the top. Then one of those people came and threw me a punch, then another one rose and I recieved another blow. One after another, after another until I was left gazing right at him, the one person I had left, and i asked "Et tu?". And he threw the final stabbing punch, right to my gut, that sent me tumbling to the ground in pain and tears.
(Aw boy, Caesar reference. Ambiguity intended, I'll explain it once I'm in a better mood. I'm always metaphorical and full of alliteration when life is in the process of beating me down.)
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toki
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2005 2 May :: 9.39am
:: Mood: content
I lied. This weekend was awesome. I said Saturday would be the worst, I lied. It was awesome. I love when things work out like that. :-)
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sandatthebeach
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2005 2 May :: 12.24am
:: Mood: annoyed
Who reads this? Anyone? If you do leave me a message saying you do because I'm curious.
I'm sick of people. I'm sick of life. Ready for a mini-rant???? Here goes:
I'm so fucking bitter it's great. I can't help but be bitter sometimes though. Why? Because I spent my entire life NOT whining and asking for every fucking thing in this world because life just doesn't work out that way. And here I am...fully aware of reality and accepting it while every other fucking person starts crying and whining and shit everytime they want/don't get something. jafio;duvbio;anrklsd;jfioas;hfidsjfkl;sjfksafjf;a
I'm sick of life. I'm sick of just everything in the goddamn world. Life is so dull and I don't want to associate with people anymore. I do....but I don't. I feel like screaming....that's what I want to do. Why are people so ignorant? Why am I such a hypocrite?
God I'm so sick of the world and everything that's in it.
3 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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toki
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2005 29 April :: 8.57am
:: Mood: Poopy
This weekend isn't going to be fun. Tonight might be. I'll find someone to hnag out with. Plus, Sin City is at Rivertree now. So I might go there today.It’s at 6:30, so maybe I can get food after the meeting and run to the movie? It’d be fun, I think.
Saturday is going to suck more then anything, though. Here are my plans.
7- Wake up
8- Work meeting
10 or 11- Tech Saturday
4- Leave crew
4- Be at work (Gotta learn to be two places at once, I guess)
8- Leave work
After 8, I don’t know. I kind of would rather work 5:54-11. Maybe I’ll find out who’s closing and try to switch with them. That would make life considerably easier. And who wouldn’t want to work a four hour shift compared to a five hour? We shall see.
I also just realized that tomorrow is our last tech Saturday. That makes me sad, on top of being stressed. Jill hates me because I reminded her of that. Poop. :-( I love you, Jill! <3
Sunday will be good. It’ll be a break from the insanity. I’ll just hang out with the boy some. I’ll tell my parents I’m opening, that way I avoid church, get to sleep in, and avoid church.
Jill’s glaring at me. And that makes me sad. Don’t make me sad, Jill. I’ll write you a poem.
Oh Jill, Oh Jill
How sad your glare is
It looks like you’re constipated,
But I know that you’re mad
Don’t be so sad,
Because I love you so
And seeing you sad
Makes me feel bad
You have ducks on your shirt
So don’t be sad
Just smile
And grab a lad!
Okay…I really should do my story. Much love. Especially to Jill. :-)
1 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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goose
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2005 29 April :: 9.05am
I hATE pATRICE
Patrice made me realize that i was writing my last bio
Patrice told me that this saturday is out last tech saturday
Patrice also showed me the two huge movies showplace got this weekend, and rivertree isnt going to be that busy but i get to die at showplace all night
Patrice is a poo head!
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toki
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2005 28 April :: 10.56am
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: NONE! GASP! I need music!
O
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That there is patrice.
O-}-<
that there is patrice sleeping and being lazy and not doing her paper.
Look at those arms, though. Patrice is a beast.
:-(
that there is Patrice sad because she couldn't watch LoTR with Melanie and Jackie today.
>.<
that there is Patrice angry at Mr. Curry for assigning that paper. And her Dad for being ultra-annoying-like. And her mom who is too lazy to go get Patrice's dirty clothes from her room.
:-(
Here is Patrice sad again because Ryan has to go to stupid tech campus. Stupid tech campus.
:-(
here is Patrice dreading this weekend and wanting it to go away.
:-P
here is Patrice disgusted and not wanting to go to crew.
:-)
here is Patrice slightly happy because Ed is on.
:-(
here is Patrice sad because Ryan can't come over to watch it like he was supposed to.
O.O
here is Patrice flipping out because she missed the first three minutes.
0.0
that there is Patrice realizing she has switched from "that there" to "here is" halfway through.
:'(
Here is Patrice sad that she can't watch Ed anymore because she's going out to lunch with her family.
O
-|-0
/\ -{-<
here is Patrice ripping her parents' heads off because she is very angry.
O
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here is Patrice saying poop.
2 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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sweetyas
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2005 27 April :: 9.44pm
:: Mood: pessimistic
AP
Yasamin is stressed out about AP tests.
Yasamin's grandmother should come on monday.
Yasamin has an AP test on Monday.
Yasamin should go to crew on monday.
Yasamin needs to get 4's on all of her AP tests.
Yasamin will not get 4's unless she studies.
Yasamin can't study, mental illness or something.
Yasamin is crushed and will go cry in her room now.
Maybe study biology instead of cry.
2 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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toki
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2005 25 April :: 9.13am
:: Mood: Tired
There was something I wanted to write about, but I forgot. I call it Melanie Syndrome. Don’t ask. I’ve been writing in my private-real-paper journal every night for a while now. It’s weird. It’s not all insane-depressing stuff too. And that makes me happy.
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goose
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2005 25 April :: 8.58am
work was poopy. I had to stay an hour late because 2 busses of girls showed up to see the 615 a lot like love and there was 1 guy at concessions so they threw me back there with him and i had to get popcorn for an hour. blah. Then i did nothing. I ate ice cream, it was good. (lol details, no. hahaha) yeah...library is a snooze fest. My short story is 7 pages now. im getting close to where curry wants us to be! yay! :) I just have to come up with an ending, which is impossible. But I actually like my story! its a miracle i know! we'll see though, im sure ill change my mind tomorrow. Im hungry. we have band tonight...oh darn no crew...psh!
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pixeldot
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2005 22 April :: 7.10pm
Today was a tiring day. But overall good. Stunkel is so great, I just love being near him.
So my mom has been sick with pneumonia for about a week now. Shes getting admitted to the hospital tomorrow since shes not getting better. I'm wondering how long shes going to be gone, its going to be rough without her, since for as long as shes not home, I'm going to be doing the cooking and cleaning and all that jazz.
1 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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toki
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2005 21 April :: 9.29am
:: Mood: gloomy
I feel bad. I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t be doing this. People shouldn’t have to deal with me. I’m not a good person. I know I’m a bad person and a bad friend.
Good news? I still love my shoes. And they’ve stopped hurting the way new shoes usually do. So much woopage on that. I’m wearing all blue today. It’s almost as if I meant to match. Haha. Imagine that.
So, I’m sick of band. I’m sick of getting ready for super state. I’m sick of playing the same measure 60 times over. And I still have two weeks left of this shit. Big time “Shit”.
I’m gonna fall asleep in gov.
1 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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toki
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2005 21 April :: 8.59am
I'll get ze popcorn
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goose
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2005 21 April :: 8.59am
My Happiness is a Golden Poem
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sandatthebeach
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2005 20 April :: 8.26pm
SHUT UP PATRICE
I am sandy. I hate Jackie and jill. I hate everyone who's not patrice. I love patrice. We're getting married.
1 people have been pushed out by my fears. |
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