rachelle
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2003 11 December :: 8.35pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: look through my eyes//phil collins
if...
if the world was flat, we could walk off into an endless expanse where the wrong things we did wouldnt matter
if you knew how i felt about what you do, you wouldn't be who you are
if one person could change the world, we could also burn water
3 made me bleed |
take a stab
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thedarkerside
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2003 11 December :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: irritated
errggg...
Well, One more day. Unfortunatly my moms making me babysit tomorrow without my consent ofcourse. Bitch. Atleast I'll get money to buy some presents for people. I hate babysitting god damnit . Thanks alot for ruining my Friday night, I know you don't give a shit about me.
Everyone socialized in the living room while I slept/sat in the dark in my room by myself. Having to sit in my room being able to hear my mom talk about me. Does she think I can't hear her? Then theres Ashley with the whole "MOMMY LOOK AT WHAT I DID! I GOT A'S ON MY PROGRESS REPORT!" its always like that..always.."LOOK AT WHAT I DID" "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" what the hell is she trying to prove? That shes not a dumbass? I don't even care if she reads this or not. I'm past the point of even caring. I have A's. You don't see me saying anything about them do you? Oh, and ofcourse Ashley always gets a good job. I get a "you can do better". Well i can "get better parents" too if I wanted to but I can't can I? Go to hell.
You know not one word was said to me by my mom. Shes been bitching for over 7 hours about how work is so difficult. No matter if it wasnt difficult or not she's always bitching. She never and I mean never has anything nice to say about anyone. Not even her own kids. Not even to her own kids faces. I have so much resentment for her I'm never going to try to look past it. It goes downhill from here...I dont want her acceptance. I dont want her attention. Not anymore. I could care less. How could she be so blind. My own mother... How can you not see how I am...how I've been effected.... I want her to feel the pain that I do. I want that more than anything in my life... Well, almost more than anything..
4 made me bleed |
take a stab
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thedarkerside
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2003 10 December :: 7.06pm
Oh and by the way, I finally got my cookies and creame micro shake. Good way to end a night...well one good way ;) lol
take a stab
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thedarkerside
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2003 10 December :: 3.18pm
16.9 FL OZ in an Aquafina water bottle...Purity Guaranteed
Today wasn't interesting at all. Not. At. All. To sum up the vibe of this day..it was basically boring like every other day..but more than usual. What a bunch of mumbo jumbo.
Well, I got to school...went to the library and sat with Kylee, Jeremiah, and Em to do some homework then I saw Zach so I left and we just walked around for a while and in the process of walking I got him like 8 times in the cheek which is pathetic..lol then Carinna came and I went with her to 1st hr. Wow. Then from there on I dont even give a shit to talk about it.
Well good news is that I have A, A-,B+, B+, then 2 C's.... 2 C's could be easily raised to Bs and 2 B+ could be easily raised to A-'s...yes..even more mumbo jumbo....
Nap time? NO. I spit at nap time. I must finish homework so I'm not stressed out so much during the day to get it all done. Although civics i just write crap in the blanks like "jesse gill hids from the irs because he has porn on his computer" and shit like that and Mr.R doesn't even read it. Good thing he doesn't..ha....
Later
take a stab
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thedarkerside
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2003 9 December :: 7.43pm
:: Music: Gauge 32- Faceless
Today...
Today was pretty boring. It's school. School is boring...I couldn't help but to feel weird today. About what.. I dont know. I never know these things.
Other than that, today was ok. I took a cat nap when I got home and I still yet have to do my homework. (I type this as my mom is reading over my shoulder)
Go away bitch. God....
3 more god damn days....just 3. I can do it.
take a stab
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thedarkerside
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2003 8 December :: 7.16pm
I'm not in a good mood....everytime I stop to think I can't it gets blocked out by my eyes swelling up....
What do you call this one?
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thedarkerside
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2003 8 December :: 3.22pm
I love the places that we go, I love the people that u know, I love the way you can't say no
Today was interesting... I stayed home sick and slept pretty much the whole day away. None the less, it was pretty boring. Tomorrow it will be back to school and back to all that shit. Oh well, right.
1 made me bleed |
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thedarkerside
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2003 7 December :: 11.56pm
I like the dirt thats on your knees..I like the way you still say please You're like my favorite damn disease
She gets home
Washes off her face
Hates her body
Mind
And soul
Thinks about giving up this time
If only she weren’t so low
But when everyone’s gone and
Nothing's left
Loneliness assembles in her barren chest
She gives up all hope and dreams
If only the world could her screams
Alone and grasping out for more
She wishes she thought of this before
Let the bottle relieve this stress
So she could descend into nothingness
(Nothingness)
take a stab
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rachelle
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2003 6 December :: 8.38pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: christmas music
xxxxx (rlg)
its hard to watch two people who were once best friends let the power of one person come between them.
.over and out.
1 made me bleed |
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thedarkerside
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2003 6 December :: 6.06pm
I LOVE FEELING THIS WAY
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