thedarkerside
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2003 22 August :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: tired
Babysat 8 hrs today. Kids arent bad its just that watching them for 8 grueling hours is torchure.
this is off topic but i have something to say...two words. HELL NO! i'll be writin about this in my private passworded woohu.
-rolls eyes-
School is starting in 3 days. Damn you rockford. Damn you and all your plots.
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thedarkerside
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2003 17 August :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: ok
:: Music: none..
I'm at my moms school. Cable Modem need I say more.
1 made me bleed |
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thedarkerside
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2003 16 August :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: none
I had a GREAT time at stephs party!! I can not say that enough! It was so great. It was me, carinna, steph, dannie, frank, jimmy, david, jeremy, billy, erin, luke, and a kid from north who i cant remember his name lol. I met some new people and we just all hung out went swimming, played games..all that fun stuff! It was a lot of fun. Its nice to see kindof what schools going to be like when it starts. These are the people i will be hanging out with and Carinna will be there to go though it with me. Its going to be fun. These are such nice people. I know i'm going to have alot of fun this year.
Oh and I got grounded when I got home because i didnt give my parents the address and phone number to stephs house...WTF? ok big deal? not that big of a deal. Oh well.
7 made me bleed |
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thedarkerside
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2003 14 August :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Linkin Park-Numb
I've been doubting alot of things and people lately...
2 made me bleed |
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thedarkerside
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2003 14 August :: 1.20am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: none
I have to pee
I'm watching Sex2k "Gay Cruise" on mtv. Its kindof scary. I have nothing against gay people they are just like everyone else..but its still scary lol. I dont care if hes gay if hes hot and on mtv shakin his ass..hell ya i'm gunna watch lol
I need to break the habit of stayin up so late. I'm going to DIE when school starts...what did I just say? School..whats school? I DO NOT understand that worddd.....hmm....
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thedarkerside
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2003 13 August :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: Pissed
RAHH!
Ok.. My moms always complaining how we never do anything..that we never follow through on things...etc. Um..if we didnt do anything the house would be like 100 times messier than it is now (its not even messy now) I dont see anyone else but me and my sister lifing a damn finger around here and my mom doesnt have an excuse because she doesnt have to work in the summer. Plus she made me help her clean her room (although for money to lure me in). I mean I'm sick of her shit she acts like we're the one giving her all the shit when its the other way around UGH! Everyone sees right through her...my friends..my sister friends..they all know what kind of bitch she is.
On a lighter note...I had a very good dream lastnight but I'll spare you the details. Ok..so I gave up something I once loved..now I'm starting to have these dreams...good dreams..I mean it was the kind that felt really real....I'm just trying to figure out what it all means. I know I cant take that thing back...I just need to keep that something as a friend.
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thedarkerside
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2003 12 August :: 1.01am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Evanescence- Going under
Things..
I'm not really excited about things...as far as school goes and all. I dont want to go back to it. Thats what got me started on all this shit...all this shit thats changed me. I'm afraid that i'm becoming to serious. I dont laugh and smile like I use to. I use to be happy. I use to feel like I had a good life that I was actually going to make it through my life but throughout the past year..things have changed...and I'm not sure what has changed them. I'm constantly pissed off. Theres always something bugging me that no one in this house can understand. Instead I get punished for how I feel or not saying how I feel. I dont care if it hurts to bottle stuff up inside but I guess I've grown accustomed to it. I'd rather go through this pain than to "talk it out". All that ever does is make people form new opinions on you based on how you feel. I've learned that one a couple of times. I dont want to hang out with anyone alot. I dont want to go outside. I just want to be isolated. I dont want anyones help...I dont need anyone to talk to me. There are some exceptions but not many. I dont look at life the way I use to.
I just wish i could be normal
I know what makes me this way. I know what I have to do to fix it. It all depends on how I deal with it. If I deal with it the right way and that there is progress into this than maybe slowly I'll feel like my self again but if I dont do anything about it...than...I'll be stuck. Its almost like an anternate universe. Things are so different when your "depressed" Its almost like everything is in different shades of gray. Like everything is on grayscale. There's something always holding you back...holding you back from saying things...felling things...everything. There is no way out of this unless you help yourself.
I'm just afraid that when/ if I ever get to my "destination" that I wont be happy..and that it wont solve my problems.
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thedarkerside
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2003 11 August :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Evenescence-Going under
Re-did journal bg
I thought my journal could use some color, thus the peach.
I did nothing today other than watch Saved By the Bell reruns. Oh how I loved that show lol. Schools coming closer and closer I really dont want to go! I dont want to get up early and I dont want to have to deal with some of the people. Oh well I guess I just hope i have gym second semester because I really dont want to deal with it this semester!! Thats only one more thing I have to worry about. Although gym is fun though i guess. And you can wear comfy clothes :-D but then your hair gets all messed up...it has its ups and downs..
im out
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Tbaby92588
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2003 10 August :: 7.02pm
:: Music: Turn My Head [Live]
Steve walks warily down the street, with his brim pulled way down low.
I saw Grandmother Willow yesterday!
Listen with your heart, you will understand.
Sway. Sway. Na-too-rah. You will understand.
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thedarkerside
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2003 9 August :: 9.00pm
:: Mood: ...random...
:: Music: Nobodys Listening - Linkkkinn parrk
do do do
I'm watchin antiques roadshow...how can you not love that show?
Guess what? Amy went shopping today...
- White jeans with zipper pockets from ae
-green shirt from ae
-brown tank top ae
-blue shirt ae
-green pj sweat pants ae soo comfy
-black althetic pants ae
I think that was it..
Belt from jc penneys...
I still have yet to get my Bob Ross shirts from Hot Topic but i'm going back shopping on monday cuz tomorrow i get to babysit and get more money and then my sister has to go to Marshal Fields cuz shes getting one of those makeup makeovers at Clinique! That should be fun to watch!! My sisters Bday is Tuesday. HAPPY 18THS legally an adult..she can take me to R movies..YAY.. I got her some stuff today. Umm...Nothing much ..other than my parents came home today... yesterday they were gone at some amish place ...old people are weird lol but they got a nice hotel with a jacuzzi in it..i wish i was there for that i would have just stayed in the jacuzzi the whole day lol
So yeah thats about it...
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