Out of Season

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Out of Season

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:: 2007 3 April :: 8.02pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Thumbilina (Trevor's watching it...heh)

Annual Ferris Fees
Estimated Budget Cost
Tuition and Fees - $11,502
Room and Board - $7,532
Books and Supplies - $1,246
Travel Expense - $1,282
Personal Expenses - $860
Loan Fees - $50
-Total - $22, 474

*dies*

BUT!! There may be hope yet...

Aid I'm Recieving
Federal Pell Grant - $4,310
Fed Sup Educ Opportunity Grant - $2,400
Residential Life Scholarship - $2,000
Fedreal Perkins Loan - $4,000
Federal Direct Subsidized Loan - $3,500
-Total - $16,210

That leaves me with the amount of $6,264 a year to pay, or $3132 a semester. Still a whole whole lot.
Kelly mentioned that I should look into getting ... something, like citizenship to the state of Michigan. That would drop my total to about $10,972 which would help me a LOT. I could then get rid of the $4000 loan and still be getting $1,238 more than owed.

My brains bleeding. I quit for now.

:: 2007 3 April :: 9.09am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Suicide is Painless

We were sitting in Accounting doing our worksheet and then BAM a computer shuts off and starts smoking really bad. It was so effing cool.

:: 2007 2 April :: 11.16pm
:: Mood: tired/cold/pissed off
:: Music: Wonderboy - Tenacious D

I just got home from Districts.
We qualified for state, but we did awful. We got 5th, and I personally did worse than I have ever done. Plus we got beat by our rival school so that was just fucking fantastic.

I was hoping I would get back in time to talk to Kelly because I've really wanted to just talk to him all day. That obviously didn't happen, so that just bums me out even more.

This was a really, really bad day.

:: 2007 31 March :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Kyle Quit the Band - Tenacious D

I made a little over $60.00 tonight. I was happy.

Vault - Red Blitz tastes exactly like Mikes Hard - Down Home Punch.
It's crazy. And delicious.

:: 2007 29 March :: 11.02pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Shiver - Maroon 5

Well... I signed on around seven or so, but had to go help Taylor do something so I told Kelly I'd be right back... I get back and he has said "sorry" and is no longer online. He's not gotten back on at all tonight and I am therefore sad.

Anyway, I need to go to bed, but I need to study Poultry some more.
We were given another set of reasons to memorize.
We already have RTC reasons and Keep and Cull reasons. Now, apparently, we might have to give Hen reasons at District and State.
What a load of horse shit. If that was a possibility, he should have given us the reason structure when he gave us the other reason structures. Dumbass.
And yes, I'm aware no one will understand wtf I'm talking about, but it's upsetting and I wanted to rant. I can't fucking wait until I'm out of FFA. Sure, it's great, it's fun. Until it's contest season and your teacher turns into an asshat. I understand that he wants us all to do good, to make it to state, to win state, but good freaking lord, give us a break once in awhile. I study all the time at home so he doesn't kill me, I don't want to study all the time at school as well. I'm so annoyed and ready for this to be over with. I don't even want to go to state anymore for poultry. Maybe as a deligate so that I won't have as many days of school left and so I can hang out with my friends, but definitly not to compete.
I'm sure Kelly can't wait for it to be over with as well, I complain about it all the time. Poor him :(

:: 2007 28 March :: 8.49am
:: Music: 45 - Shinedown

Well... I'm having a good day so far. I like it. I got the Powerade I wanted, the poptarts I wanted, and we had a really easy assignment in Accounting that I actually understood.
The only downer of today is that it's raining and we've got a tornado warning. That's nothing new though, but it does make me want to sleep.

Last night messenger was messing up and not sending anything I said to Kelly so he said I should just go and we'd attempt it tonight. I wasn't very happy. It better work tonight. I need my Kelly time!

I'm excited for June 27 to get here. I'll be leaving and heading to Michigan for my Orientation on the 28th (Friday), and then I'll be staying until Sunday. I'm so excited to see that gorgeous red-head of mine. Flowers would be nice...*cough*
lol just kidding sweety... kind of >.>

:: 2007 26 March :: 10.28pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: My fishtank running

Ugh, long time no update. Surprisingly -or not- nothing's happened at all.

I need money. Here's what's required of me, money wise, in the next few months - 150 for my enrollment fee, 200 for the downpayment on my dorm room, 200 for senior pictures which i need to take Right Now. Then of course State, if I make it, will require about 300, then senior trip ... geeze, I don't even know how much that'll take. I think Ashley took 500... *dies*. I'll need money for my trip to Michigan in June, then, of course, a million dollars for school in the fall.
So. That's 1,013 million dollars. No problem right?
Things are piling up. I need to win the lottery, but.. oh damn. I'm only 17. I can't even freaking play yet. (you do play the lottery, right?)

If I make it to State for FFA I've only got 20 days of school left. If not (Lord forbid) I'll have 23. That's fucking scary. I know it's scary and it's not even hit me that I'm going to be out of school yet. I realized that the other day. I was like "huh... I'm still ok with graduating. I'm still 'excited' to get out of here... wonder when that'll wear off." One thing's for sure, once it does hit me, I'll be a huge mess of mascara and eyeliner.

Mom's been on my case about leaving, yet again, and I don't need that. I'm stressing out enough. I'm so glad our school doesn't do finals. I'm sure a few hateful teachers will throw something our way though.
I've already got a ten page essay due. I don't even know what I'm going to do it over. I told Kelly penis enhancement, but ... lol I don't think my teacher would be as ok with that. Her reaction would actually be about like his was.

That's the only thing going good in my life. Kelly keeps me stable, keeps me sane (though I don't think he thinks I'm as sane as I pretend to be. He sees right through me most of the time). I know I always get all mushy, but I can't help it. I love the man.
The best part is that he loves me too.

:: 2007 17 March :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Schizophrenia - Blue October

Random shit
-My feet hurt
-I'm tired
-I miss Kelly

I've not talked to him since Thursday night, and that was only for just a little bit because I got on late and we both needed sleep. Now I'm grumpy and determined to stay up and talk to him. I doubt he'll get on though, it's like 11:30 or something there. I'll probably go to bed without a much needed "I love you" tonight. /le sigh.

Tomorrow is Trevor's birthday so mom decided we needed to sand and repolish and varnish the hard wood floors, bleach the grout on the tile floors, AND shampoo the carpets. So this entire past week I've been busy with that on top of memorizing poultry things, and doing regular homework. I had to work Thursday and Friday for Bao because her fiance came down from one state or another and she wanted to go sex him up in a hotel so I covered for her, and my hands are all dumb and dry now because of all the bleach we have to use. Then today I had to go to a stupid poultry contest, came home and fucking bleached tile and did laundry, then went to school for our class fundraiser, which consisted of cooking a ton of Italian food and selling it. We made about $750, which is bad compared to the last two years we've done it, but whatever. No one even cares anymore.

People have definitly lost their spirit because like no one wore green today. I was decked out and happy. Then I get around dumb people who are NOT wearing it and they accomplish making me feel like a dumbass for wearing it. Screw them, I decided, and I was happy and just pinched them all day. Dumb bitches.

THEN I missed the hugest party of the entire year (save Prom and Graduation) to come home and bleach some more after the dinner. I'm so upset. I kind of want to say I'm done drinking though. A dumb slut's been going around calling me an alcoholic -definitly not btw, I actually rarely drink when and if I do make it to a party- so I want to be like "ha, I don't even need it, so *palm thrust to the neck* and side step her body and go on about my business.

Anyway this just happened
(Natalie = Big PETA/Vegitarian/Emo person. Very fun to torment her)

Me:
dude
Me:
I really really
Me:
want icing covered animal crackers
Natalie says:
oh those r really good...i dont really enjoy eating crackers shaped like animals though
Me:
i'll cut off all the little legs so you won't have to think about it
Natalie says:
aaaaahhhh omg y would you say that? thats fucking horrible rachel

I enjoyed that moment.

:: 2007 14 March :: 9.17am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

<3
So, Kelly and I have been going out for six months. I'm excited. He's so cute.

:: 2007 12 March :: 9.06am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Megalomaniac - Incubus

I stayed up way too late and managed to sleep wrong once I did get to bed and now my back hurts.
Also, Saturday night I went to a party and Tessi and I had to go find fire wood and we found these huge pieces on the side of the road that required both of us to pick them up and throw them in the back of the truck. I think doing that screwed up my right knee because it hurts so bad. I'm limpin around looking like a sad little moron.
I didn't get time to finish blow drying my hair because we were going to be late for school so my hair's huge and yeah. Just not a good day so far. It's still got some potential I suppose, but I'm not holding my breath.

Apparently Tim Burton is making a movie out of the old musical Sweeny Todd, staring Johnny Depp. It just went into production so it'll be a long time before it comes out, but I want to see it so bad. I <3 Johnny Depp.

:: 2007 9 March :: 10.14am
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: This ain't a scene, it's an arms race - Fall Out Boy

zomg

:: 2007 8 March :: 9.48am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Lightning Crashes - Live

Computer Stealer
In the library I have a certain computer. I always get on the dumb thing when I'm done putting the books away, and EVERYONE knows what computer I get on, if not simply because I pile all my shit in the seat and log on before I do anything else.
A stupid girl came in here and moved all my stuff and logged me out, even though she knows damn well that I'll be done in like 10 minutes, and gets on it.
Sure, not that big of a deal, there are, after all, about 5 other computers that I can get on. But wtf. why did she have to log me out and move all my stuff when SHE could have gotten on any of the other 5?
gah.
Other than that, today's been pretty good.

lawl. There's a little note stuck to the top of every workstation that says "No Chat Rooms!!! Any violaters of this rule will be severely punished"
Makes me giggle.

:: 2007 6 March :: 8.43pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Gross Red Hair
Today was shitty, then I got home and it was even shittier.
I then got online and was cheered up by Renkoski and Kelly.
Kelly just let me rant forever, and Renkoski was like "oh yeah they're assholes" (the assholes in mention are 2 guys that pissed me off all day. Long story.) and we swapped stories of their douchebaggariness.
Then Kelly ran away to the UT Match and I ran away and showered.

I dyed my hair this really pretty auburn color and I was really happy with it. Then I fucking washed it and all the brown in it has just gone away and I'm left with neon red hair. WTF. Not ok. So here I am washing my hair three times a day and just using about half the bottle of conditioner to make my hair not completely dead and let it break in half at the sight of a brush. Very depressing. I'm so going back to never dying my hair again. Just plain brown from here on out... after I dye it again to make it un-red. zomg. Never ending.

Holy leaves, that reminds me of the Never Ending Story. That was such a BA movie when I was little. I watched it like all the time.

And then I studied Poultry so I didn't get shot in the knee cap...

:: 2007 4 March :: 8.47pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Linger - Cranberries

*Caution* - Mushy
MSN keeps killing Kelly and I's conversations. Just today he didn't say anything after 12:32. I thought I had made him mad so I would say something every now and then but he never responded so at 3:32 (yeah I gave it exactly 3 hours) I left and was completely upset. I left and watched Hogan Knows Best and then left to go hang out with my grandparents for a little bit and steal some bread that grandma made (because it's oh so good). I get back and sign back on but set myself to Away and go watch like 30 minutes of Mr. Deeds then get back on the computer and Kelly's talked to me. We talked and whatever and I was kind of snotty (heh) and he hadn't said anything because his computer showed me as offline and blah blah blah we figured out what happend and all was well.
But seriously, that's been happening a lot lately and it's stressful. That's the only way we get to talk, so when it messes up I don't appreciate it too much. I love him though.
He's just perfect, even though he says he's not.
*sigh*
I'm just lucky and I thank God for letting me be with Kelly because I really need him.

:: 2007 1 March :: 2.09pm

My teacher was like "Hate is a strong word..." so I jumped up and went "but I really really really don't like you!!" and everyone was like
<.<
>.>
<.<;;;;;
and I giggled and sat back down.
How many times in my life will I get that opportunity again?!
I enjoyed it

:: 2007 1 March :: 11.04am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Make Yourself - Incubus

Got my FAFSA done last night. It was freaking hard. I had to ask Kelly a million questions, and finally I made dad sit down and help me with it.
I'm excited though, one less thing to be worried about.
Ugh and then the bell rang.

:: 2007 27 February :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: blah

So Mrs. Arnold sent me to the nurse first hour and I got sent home. I called mom and then the hospital and they got me an appointment and I have a really bad case of the flu, I've got really high blood pressure due to stress, which is the cause of my headaches as well, and I've been instructed to take it easy and stop worrying - so easier said then done. I'll try though.
I have a huge list of things to eat and not to eat for random problems and blah. It's awful but at least I'll be getting better. I've got like 3 prescriptions.
*sigh*
I miss Kelly, but I'm gonna go to sleep anyway. Hopefully I'll talk to him tomorrow.

:: 2007 27 February :: 8.45am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Clean - Incubus

I think I need to go get a few tests run on me, I have been so sick lately and for no reason apparent to me. I've had a headache for the past week, and I've been going to bed and getting the 8 hours of sleep that I'm supposed to be getting, I've been trying to keep my stress level down and eat healthy and blah blah blah, and nothings helping. My parents don't like for us to take medicine and so I just never took any for my headache, but I finally had to last night because my head hurt so bad I could barely keep my eyes open and I didn't want it to get so bad that it finally blew into a migrane. I've also been feeling really sick to my stomach, shakey, faint, and sore.
I don't know if I'm just making myself this sick fretting about affording school and trying to keep my grades up so that I'm not pushed out of the top 10% in my class and trying to get FAFSA done and getting scholarships done and turned in or what but I still think I need to go to the doctor. I'm definitly going to inform my parents of my problems tonight.
I really want to just go home right now, but I have so much going on some of my classes that I can't afford to miss so I'll probably just end up staying and just being miserable.

On another note, I got to go shopping last night and I got these kick ass black peeptoe 3 1/2 inch heels (which I, as of right now, cannot walk in. haha) and a knee-length black and white dress with red earrings and thick headband for the wedding. I'm excited. I also got the Make Yourself - Incubus cd that I've been looking for, so I'm excited about that as well. I need to make a hair appointment because my bangs are way too long, and I need to go get my nails done. Ugh, I'm also out of red nail polish so I need to get some of that as well. It's not even my wedding and I'm handing out a shit load of money for this thing. I spent about $110 for the dress, shoes and accessories. So not ok, but luckily they can double for my National Honor Society outfit this April. Now all I need is a dress for prom, baccaloreate and graduation. I have enough heels, so I'll just buy dresses to match the shoes. Look at me be smart!

:: 2007 26 February :: 11.01am
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Basketcase - Greenday

Today was an ok day, but it just became bad and I'm not aware of the reason. I just got all blah and want to go home and skip the next 4 hours. Probably because I forgot to finish my Sociology study guide and that's the next class I have, I have an officer meeting during lunch, and then I have to give my reasons during Ag. This is definitly a reason for bad days.
Anyway, I'm going shopping after school for 2 dresses. I'm pretty excited. Prom sucks, but you get to look pretty, and the other dress is for a wedding I'm in. I hope I can find a silver or blue one. If not ... I'm screwed.

:: 2007 25 February :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Can't let it go - Goo Goo Dolls

Disappearing Act
Kelly and I were talking, and then he just left! He didn't even say goodbye, and I don't know where he went. I'm sad now. I hope the psycho gets back on before I leave -_-

Edit: He came back!! It was the weather, it ate his internet

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