Bored
B.S.T. is about to start. I'm just typing this because I have nothing better to do. I'm thinking about hitting someone with this cool rock I found on the ground this morning, but I think I'll just throw it away. Although Andrea is right there. No, I could'nt. I could probably hit John, but I don't want to. Maybe I'll wait until Boomer gets in here...

I found this on a website. Check it out!
Revenge has been a basic human motivation since Noah sailed his ark past the drowing jerks who picked him last in high-school Phys Ed, and yelled, "Good luck on the swim team, f*ckers."
Life as we know it is completely based on revenge. It all started with Adam and Eve being expelled from paradise (Thanks a lot for blowing it for the rest of us.) for eating an apples. Does that not reveal to you a vengeful God? God likes vengeance. God encourages it. He's kicking people out of paradise for eating apples. Turns out, God is a touchy cosmic Korean grocer. Oh, and by the way, for those of you who are not of the Judeo-Christian persuasion, just think of revenge as "induced karma."
My general rule of thumb when it comes to revenge is to not give in to my first impulse to throw a punch. Primarily, that's because the only guy I can beat up had his birthday announced by Willard Scott this morning. But sometimes enough is enough. The other day I'm at Denny's, and I order two eggs and three silver-dollar pancakes. The waitress serves me THREE eggs and TWO silver-dollar pancakes. So, I very calmly whipped out a can of lighter fluid and torched the entire establishment, all the while humming the tune "Disco Inferno."
Everybody's life is chock-a-block full of opportunities for revenge. The death penalty is society's ultimate form of revenge, especially if you fake the guy out and make like you hear the phone ringing just before you throw the switch. Even in what's passing today for our leaders, the urge for revenge festers like a clamhouse Dumpster on an August afternoon. Bush's enitre presidential campaign was built on settling a score. His father lost to Bill Clinton in 1992, and he's still pissed. For eight years, George Senior was seething over his loss to that smirkin, two-timing two-termer. Everybody knew it was only the Texas governor's mansion like the the ghost in "Hamlet", screaming, "Avenge me, Dubya! Avenge me!"
I think our goal shouldn't be eradicating human beings' need for revenge as much as it should be refining it. Be creative. Ladies, you really want to get back at a man for dumping you, it's very simple: get his new girlfriend drunk and go to bed with her, than call him up and tell him how great she was. He'll simultaneously be so pissed off and insanely turned on that you'll short-circuit his brain and his wee-wee in one vengeful masterstroke. By the way, if you do try that, please submit to me a detailed report on what you did. Can you send me a video while you're at it?
So, summing up, just think of revenge as an indispensable release valve for an incrasingly pseudocivilized society. These days, Americans feel they have only two options when someone has harmed them. They can beat the s*it out of that person, or they can hire a lawyer. Hey, I got a better idea. Let's kill two birds with one stone. Next time somebody does you wrong, go beat the s*it out of a lawyer.

Dude, youre really f*ucked up
K:Hello Kermit the frog here. Welcome to Sesame Street. I'd like to tell you what todays letter is, but, I'm really fff...f*ucked up. Hey Bigbird, do you know what todays letter is?
B:Sure kermit, todays letter is... joint.
K:Uh, Big bird... joint is not a letter. It is a word.
B:Sorry kids. todays letter is 3.
K:Uh, Bigbird... 3... is a number.
B:Exactly. The number 3, which is how many joints I've smoked today. Kermit, are you with me?
K:Emm... God I'm stoned.
B:Me too.
Laughter
Elmo:Guys guys! Show go on! Come on!
K:Thank you Elmo. Um...How about we say our ABC's Big bird?
B:OK
K&B:A...B...C...
B:D
K:...D
B:...E
K:....E
B:..F
K:..R
B:...G
K:....Q
B:...K
K:.....C
B:..R
K:...F
B:...Z
B:...Forgot what we were doing Karmmit.
K:Did you just call me...(Chuckle) Karmmmit?
B:Yes I did.
K:Karmmit the Frog...
K&B:Hehe...Haha...hehe...
K:Ok,Ok, thats all the time we have for today. Goodbye kids. Todays show was brought to you by the letter...um...
B:Bong! hehehe
K:And...and...the number...
B:God you're messed up.
K:F*uck you. The number (laughs) F*uck you. hehe
K&B:Laughing
K:Goodbye kids
B:So long kids

Whats wrong?
Everybody that's on my friends page, (Quite a few people) Seem so... down. Whats going on? Sugermouse feels down, Spud feels down, Stinko, maybe Holiday. At least that's what their journals are saying. Why is everyone so down? Personally, I feel pretty normal, (for me anyway) but everyone else is depressed. Can someone tell me why? It's like nobodys in the mood for anything.

Scooby Dumb
Now don't get me wrong, I like Scooby, but, have you noticed they aren't that bright? The right thing to do is so close, but they do something dumb. Today I was watching the one about Daphine and the mask. I turned to it just as they were driving around on rooftops. Rooftops for gods sake. Yeah, Fred got just a bit high before going behind the wheel. Anyway, the mystery machine is driving away from the bad guys when it spins out on a discretely placed banana peel. I guess that's what you get for buying a piece of crap van. They proceed and crash into a fish stand. Fred pokes his head out from the pile of fish and says, (Here comes that great Hana Barbara rib tickler) "Well you know what they say, fish is good for you." *Rimshot* Audience laughs. They must use one of those laugh machine things. It seems like the audience is always laughing. Then Scooby, looking for Shaggy, digs in the fish pile and picks up a fish. It squirts water at him. Audinece laughs again. There'd be a rimshot to go with it, but the guy on the drums fell asleep. Then Velma, the supposed intelligent one of the group says, "Hey where's Daphine?" Fred who just so happened to be looking in the same direction says "Look!" Again, the enlighted Velma says "Jinkies, they've got Daphine!" Well gee Mr. Obvious, I never made the connection. The car quickly speeds away. Here's where I'd be hauling ass to the police station. But no, Velma "luckly" looks at the ground and spots a piece of paper. The story goes on from there. Here's my question. Where the hell where the police? They always seem to be slow to figure things out. Scooby and the gang are out busting smugling rings while chief O'leary is adding another doughnut to his inventory. ie his stomach. The police officers always have that stupid line too. "Well, where he's going, his vanishing act won't work." *Rimshot But no laughter. I know this entry is HUGE but I just wanted to throw this out there to people. Last note, don't write comments that say "You suck man, you don't like scooby." My least favorites are the ones that just say you suck for no liking Scooby. But I do like. Later

I'm an idiot YES!
Victory! I finally figured out how to change the photo for my profile. You'll now notice Mario there instead of the crowd in 3-d glasses! However, this task wasn't easy for me. Everyone (except Spud) who knows who I am, probably think's I'm a technodweeb. However, I always thought the moniter was the computer itself. I have never understood computers, and I don't think I'll ever care enough to try. Anyway, after much effort, constent rage, lucky guess's, and the often round of "hit the computer til it hurts your fist," I finally changed the picture. I also think I understand the friends section of woohu. I at first thought, wow, Holiday and Sugarmouse wrote to me. I'm important! Then reality reared it's huge, ugly ass for about the jillionth time in my life. Friends is just journal entrys that the people in your friends column wrote. I'm listening to Queen right now, so if I seem off track, it's because I'm playing Queen. Do you know what song?
THAT'S RIGHT! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! Didn't you read the subject of this journal? By the way, is anybody else out there using woohu at about midnight? Damn, I'm such a loser. I'm sitting here with my Garfield shirt and boxers typing a journal entry. Yes ladies, I am available. Last note, feel free to comment on my choice of picture. if you don't like it, well, you can go to an unfriendly place then. i.e. hell. I just think it looks cool. If you read this whole entry, (You honestly didn't have anything productive to do?) I salute you on doing so. Later!

Whatever
Just got bored and decided to type. Not really in a good mood or a bad one. I need advice from someone though. What do you do if you spot someone in a closet? Do you blow them off? Ask them what the hell they think they are doing? Or do you get help? I seemed to be faced with strange happenings like this all the time nowadays. I have nothing else. Later

Spud
If you just read Spud's journal and came here, I am not whiney! I just like it when things go my way... I also just added a bunch of new friends without their consent. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha (cough) If you want to comment me, (Why?) Knock yourself out. There really was no point to this entry. I just felt like making it. I also am still learning how to use this site. I learned that you can use pictures. However, I am still on my own friends list, so I still don't totally understand this site. I fell a bit weird... "Shave the Whales!!!" Can someone tell me why Spud always wears a friggin hat??!! Also, why does he always seem a bit... you know high, on certain occasion. Maybe it's just his hippie outlook on life. Why does nobody like Garfield, and... I gotta go. Literally. Later.