valoth
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2012 27 January :: 11.30pm
Well here we are again. 23 Minutes in Brussels.
Difficult as always.
She doesnt make it easy. I know when she seems 'off'. She seems that way tonight. I feel like she hides it by praising me or praising my ability to overlook her strange ways.
Its not really easy to deal with this. I want to not offend her, especially if she has been drinking, that wont end well. She will resent me and not even know why or what was the problem(s).
"Sometimes I think that you don't like me as much as you did before."
How does one properly respond to that? Im nervous to answer it. Its loaded.
I do like you. I liked you more, yes. I want to like you as much, and try hard to do so. Its easy to do so. Whats not easy is how to deal with you acting stranger at times than others. The wait you put me through for a chance to try this thing out has hurt things. I see it and know it. Id like to think I overlook it 95% of the time too.
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valoth
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2012 27 January :: 11.30pm
Well here we are again. 23 Minutes in Brussels.
Difficult as always.
She doesnt make it easy. I know when she seems 'off'. She seems that way tonight. I feel like she hides it by praising me or praising my ability to overlook her strange ways.
Its not really easy to deal with this. I want to not offend her, especially if she has been drinking, that wont end well. She will resent me and not even know why or what was the problem(s).
Pull a combo!
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rayray
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2012 17 January :: 3.02pm
I have been trying to find a way to vent without feeling guilty and like a total bitch when I am done. I think I have finally realized that it's not possible for me to do that, and I guess I don't really care too much about those feelings anymore. I will have to deal with them.
I have been struggling to have some kind of civil relationship with Mike's daughter for the last 4ish years. One day, she just decided she didn't want to listen to me anymore, and felt that I can't tell her what to do or anything. At first it caused Mike and I to argue, a lot. He thought I was being mean, or that I didn't know what I was talking about. It took awhile for him to finally see that she really doesn't listen to me, and completely ignores my existence. I thought it was getting better, but I was wrong. Now, she absolutely hates me. She won't admit it to me, or Mike, but we all know. I am not trying to be her parent, because I know she doesn't want me to. But I am not going to sit back and watch her let her grades fall, or see her curse like a sailor on Facebook. So I say stuff to her about it. I am not mean about it, but I am direct, and I come off as a concerned elder, not a parent. However, she see's it differently, and completely disrespects me. The other day, I finally had enough, and I ratted her out to her dad. Because of course she deleted the conversation on her status, so that I didn't have any proof. It really got to me, that she was that disrespectful to me. Well Mike was instantly pissed about it, and let her have it. He took my side and told her that she needed to respect me. A lot of things were said in their conversation. But summary version, I am a bitch and I act like a two year old, and don't deserve respect. And Mike told her not to ask for another damn thing until she learns to respect me, and apologizes.. Now, she won't talk to him. He tells her every night before he starts work, "Good night, I love you". (He sends her and I a text every night telling us that). And she won't respond, if she does, all she says is "night".
I feel horrible that their relationship is shitty. I feel like it's my fault, but at the same time I am happy because they need to learn that he needs to have the upper hand and discipline her, and that she can't get away with everything. I also feel bad, because Reagan loves her, and because she is mad at us, she won't come over for at least a month.. So Reagan is suffering because of that. I want to say something to her, but I don't know how to do it without making things worse..
5 hit Combo!! |
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allyson
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2012 15 January :: 10.53pm
Two things,
I'm apparently not who I wanted to be or though I was
And two
I wanna ride tanner.
And ride with him.
1 hit Combo! |
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tuwang
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2012 8 January :: 11.56pm
Things are good. I spent my birthday with the girl and a few select others... pretty much just the girl though. We did a lot of dancing with each other, both metaphorically and literally. We drank champagne. We kissed at midnight. It was nice. It was also oddly adult which kind of freaks me out.
the only thing I need is a new job. Really... that's it. I like where I live and my new room mates and everything. Just the job...
I'm really coming to grips with myself and I like it.
1 hit Combo! |
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allyson
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2012 6 January :: 11.04pm
Woke up early with the girls but at least callie was happy! Autumn went directly downstairs and stayed down.mainly because I had to start diapers. Callie and I came back up to make breakfast. We had scrambled eggs and toast. After callie finished I let her get down while I finished my grocery list for next week. Mean while I hear what sounds like glass and then tin foil rustling. Upon further investigation I see that she has gotten into the candy jar (glass with metal top) and stolen a christmas peanut butter cup, fully un wrapped it including the paper (rustling tin foil). I figured if she did all the work she might as well get to eat it. So I took pictures instead! After that she brought me yogurt melts because apparently 1.5 eggs and a piece if toast was not enough.
Finally autumn realized she was hungry and came upstairs. I was on the phone with grandma and after that I gave autumn cereal and started the bath. We then went up and woke daddy up. We came down for a snack. And then played around for a little while. We had lunch and then went for a walk. We came back and callie fell asleep on the changing table. Autumn went downstairs to watch phineas and ferb while I called around for my lab order. Daddy and callie woke up at around 245. We had fruit snacks. Then Daddy and autumn went to the lab for me and were back by 330. We play on the floor and played in the living room for a while. Then we all got hungry so we put in pizza. We eat and then have cookies for dessert. We cuddle on the couch and watch kung fu panda! Hanging out on the living room floor and then go to bed. Great night.
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spud
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2012 5 January :: 12.26am
The lions lost by two fumbles and a touchdown.
And today I got a voicemail from a cemetary.
Coincidence?
I think not.
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rayray
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2012 3 January :: 10.24am
I have actually been enjoying Mike being home for the past week. He has helped with Reagan a ton. And he drives me everywhere I have to go. Not to mention we've gotten stuff done around the house. Definitely needed this and I'm not ready for him to go back to work.
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tuwang
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2012 2 January :: 11.45am
2012 bucket list:
[] get a new job
[] quit outback
[] get a real phone
[] get a new car
[] have more than 5000 in an untouchable account, preferably one with high returns
[] break that 6 month relationship mark that seems to constantly elude me
[] don't stab anyone
[] work out more
[] Go back to MI to visit
[] Get a credit card
[] Go to a wizards, capitals, and nationals game (not redskins, the suck and it's impossible to get tickets)
2 hit Combo!! |
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tuwang
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2011 30 December :: 4.06pm
guess who got the phone interview?
1 hit Combo! |
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spinder
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2011 30 December :: 1.55am
Meh.
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rayray
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2011 26 December :: 3.09pm
As usual my mom has to be herself.
She made dinner for us at my sisters, because my sister has a dishwasher. Well, needless to say she left the mess for us to clean up. She took all the meat for fajitas, and left all the rest of the stuff. She wouldn't even join all of us in the living room. She sat in a chair behind the couch so that she could escape outside to go smoke as frequently as she wanted. Seriously, every time we turned around she was outside.
After she left my sister asked my brother and I if we ever remember our dad hitting mom.. Uhm, no. Apparently she was at her "boyfriends" house and was telling my brother in law that our dad used to beat her and of course we will all deny it.. Uh hello, he NEVER hit her. She is pathetic. She seriously has to come up with the stupidest shit for an excuse for why they got divorced.
So I believe next year we are just going to get together for Christmas and not invite her.
4 hit Combo!! |
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tuwang
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2011 21 December :: 3.10pm
I feel like I'm getting better at managing my self diagnosed bi-polar disorder. Mostly the last week has been a test of this.
I'm all moved into the new place, which is a huge weight off of my shoulders. My room mates are awesome.
next step is to go and sign up at a recruiter. Not totally sure which one or who to go to though.
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rayray
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2011 18 December :: 4.48pm
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.
About how much I miss my Grandparents and wish they were here to see Reagan and my nephews grow up. It breaks my heart that they aren't physically here and have missed a lot that has happened in my life. I know they are proud of me, and are watching over me, but its not the same as sharing the moments with them, and hearing them tell me.
I have been thinking a lot about Mike's family. Mainly his brother. His brother has spent the last 3 years in prison. He missed their moms funeral, so he never got to say goodbye. He doesn't know that he has a niece that is a year old. He hasn't seen his son in years. I know that I shouldn't feel bad for him because he put himself in prison, but I do feel bad. He called Mike today to let him know how he was doing, and that he was out of prison. Before he got off the phone he told Mike to tell Darielle he said hi, and then told him he loved him. Mike said I love you back, and I was shocked. I commented about it, and he told me that he did love his brother and that he got the raw end of the deal growing up. That if he hadnt been raised by their mom then he would have turned out better. I said what about your sister? And he told me that he doesn't love his sister. She had a fair chance at life and she chose to screw it up. I guess it is what it is. His family is jacked up, and they barely know my daughter. But I do not want her to know the half of what they are about, so I guess I am going to protect her for as long as I can.
I have been thinking about my life, my relationship. I don't have a perfect relationship by any means. But I don't have a crumbling relationship either. We fight, say things we shouldn't, but we never stay mad. And I am grateful for that. I hate that I live in a trailer, and it depresses me. We struggle for money, and that really gets to both of us. But it makes more sense for me to stay home than it does for me to go back to work.
A lot of my friends have been struggling with deaths, health issues, break ups, and so on. I wish I could take all their pain away and make them feel better. Some of them I wish I could smack in the face and tell them that they need to pull their head out of their ass..
I don't hang out with a lot of people anymore. Social contact is hard for me. People piss me off and I don't want to deal with it.
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spud
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2011 18 December :: 3.16am
Gig was good. Facebook crew disappointed me as usual. But it was reeeeeeeeeally good. Despite the rocky start.
2 hit Combo!! |
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