Pattern People

:: 2005 5 November :: 11.21pm
:: Mood: troubled
:: Music: Snow Patrol - Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

My life is ruled by lists.

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:: 2005 5 November :: 7.43pm

We're in Chicago. We being my entire family and two of Hannah's friends.

Tomorrow we're going to see the musical Wicked. Maybe then Hannah will shut up about it.

My throat hurts and I'm tired.

I love you all. And, pathetically, I miss Nick.

:: 2005 2 November :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: undecided

This is not happening...
New layout. Fastest one I've ever put together. Background is a little photo manipulation of a old pic of me. Icon is the smoking alien from "Jose Chung's From Outer Space." Everything else is Postal Service.

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:: 2005 1 November :: 1.11am

If I sit perfectly still, I can imitate the process of feeling nothing.

I can't remember the last time I've felt this helpless or alone. How the hell did I get here? I want to go home, but I have no idea where that is anymore.

I long for clarity.

:: 2005 27 October :: 9.25pm

Jabberwocky should be made into a musical. It'd be awesome.

:: 2005 27 October :: 3.34pm

I'm sick.

Someone should come over and make me soup and baby me.

I love you all.

:: 2005 21 October :: 6.07pm

I got into a car accident today. I'm fine, the woman I hit is fine, my car was fine, her car was fine. Right now I'm in Kalamazoo visiting Katie. I'll be home on Sunday sometimes. Um. Something.

Oh, Jessa, when are you moving? Are you working at that bank yet?

Have a nice weekend. I love you all.

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:: 2005 20 October :: 11.11pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: Bright Eyes - Lua

AHH!!!
EVERYONE STOP DELETING/RESTRICTING JOURNAL ENTERIES!

PLEASE & THANK YOU!

:: 2005 20 October :: 7.34pm
:: Mood: undeclared
:: Music: Mmm... Meat Loaf

Here's my thing...
I never realized how easy it would be to say goodbye. That got me thinking...

If I could disperse with that aspect of my life with such ease, could this thinking be applied elsewhere? Next target, my relentless need for perfection and completion. I'm quickly realizing that when it comes to school, my worst fears have been realized: my workload/program has finally passed my ability to bullshit my way through it. I realize now that from here on out I'm going to have to put my nose to the grindstone and punch this thing out. In order to survive, I'm going to have to adapt to being able to cope while doing so (AHH!!! So many prepositional phrases!!!). I've discovered that here, with no safety net and nobody holding me up (except for myself), that my old reactions, habits, and behavioral contingencies will make me miserable if I don't get them in check. They've already done so to a large extent; my current mood is much more than just a mid-term crunch. If I scale myself back quite a bit, and take this whole thing a little slower, I just might be able to make it work. You know what I feel like? I feel like a pro football rookie who, although he was the star in college, is finding that the NFL is literally a different ballgame. It's an incredibly humbling experience (i.e. I feel like an idiot most of the time), but the little man inside me suggests that it's not a bad thing (although I still want to punch him in the mouth).

The short version of this whole thing: I need to stop trying to reinvent the wheel.

I've got a tattoo that embodies my need for completion, and now I want one to signify the disarray and chaos of life. I'd like one to complement the other. Any suggestions?

:: 2005 20 October :: 7.42am

Last night, I was watching Lost and there was a frost advisory warning that popped up and proceeded to scroll the counties that were affected across the screen. This wasn't neccessary because they had a lutle picture of the counties in west Michigan and the ones with the warning were colored blue.

Anyway, they were showing some flashback from the Korean chick so of course they were speaking Korean. With subtitles. And the warning only came up when they were talking, with the subtitles at the bottom.

So, for a while, you had no idea what was going on.

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:: 2005 19 October :: 8.27pm

Free Tibet... I'll take it!
Look who's back, back again...
Read more..

The Dalai Lama is going to speak at Stanford in November. Oh, how I wish one day that I might be able to see Tenzin Gyatso! Either way, you can watch his lectures at Stanford live(!) on their site. So it's a nice alternative.

There's a Free Tibet group in Michigan called TIBETmichigan. Starting on Sunday, October 23, they will show Tibet-related films every Sunday until January 29. You need to RVSP [re(accent?)spondez s'il vous plai(with-a-hat)t] to attend but it would be an awesome thing to go to. It's on Monroe Center, too so it's not too far away. You know what? I will go. If anyone wants to come with, call me. Here is their calendar and here is the event.

I love you all.

P.S. French is the most beautiful language. Songs in French are the most beautiful songs. This is not open for debate.

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:: 2005 19 October :: 6.30pm

This is the cutest thing. Ever.

:: 2005 18 October :: 4.20pm

Girls are bitches.

:: 2005 18 October :: 2.14pm

So last week, because of budget cuts, three people at work were laid off. And I mean people, not student workers, people who had worked there for 5 - 30 years.

There were two people laid off in the Registrar's and Advising office, where I work. One was the receptionist, Michele, with whom I worked and loved to death. She'd been working there for four years. Her daughter works on the floor above us. One advisor was laid off, I didn't know her very well. Across the hall, in the Registrar's office, the person who handled all the graduation stuff was laid off.

They said they chose to lay off the people whose jobs could be taken over by others.

So it was really sad on Thursday, when they told everyone what happened. Since both offices are run entirely by women, everyone was crying. Even today, people were still upset. And they had reason to be. They are all very close, throwing parties for birthdays and parties for holidays.

So that's what's been happening. It's been upsetting because everyone feels guilty that they still have a job. Especially the student workers.

I love you all.

:: 2005 15 October :: 7.45pm

I am so confused.