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2004 28 October :: 10.21 pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: wifey by next
::sigh:: ...
u know.. sometimes i wonder... would i be better off.. staying with the one i love who hurts me... or going with the one whom i just find attractive.. but who i know would never hurt me like that ... either one would be settling i guess... i guess it's really hard to look at this objectively cuz love is like the greatest bias of all.... its like .. which is better? ... someone who honestly loves u.. but who's made some mistakes and has hurt u in the past.. or someone else who's really sweet but who just thinks ur hot... i think.. that despite the pain that comes along wit staying wit the one i love... i can't bear to let him go.. i love him... i can honestly say that i love him... but it just brings me to tears when i think of what he's done and ... how he's lied to me... i know he loves me..i dont doubt that .. he just makes really fucked up decisions without considering the consequences beforehand... sigh.. this is not a situation i'd wish upon anyone... it amazes me how some ppl just dont give a fuck who they hurt ... and im not talking bout him.. im talking bout... well there's no need to mention this person but ... i could never do that to someone else... my conscience would eat me alive.. i guess that's what happens when u actually give a fuck.. when u actually have morals and standards u go by... but w/e... wat goes around comes around does it not? .. i sure as hell hope so... but w/e... i dont know wat to do... i think i'll know when i see him... i'll know whether im willing to jsut completely ignore the fact taht he's done so much shit to me in the past and lied about it ... on the basis i guess that he's changed now? .. now that he's seen how much it hurts me.. or so he claims.. trust is such an important part of a relationship though.. and... i dont trust him... at all... not even a little bit... i dont trust him around others... substances... but most of all.. i dont trust him with my heart... and taht's what scares me the most.. the fact that im willing to just give it away knowing that there's a possiblity it'll be returned.. once again... in a million shattered pieces... w/e decision i make.. i just pray it's the rite one... good night.
tonite's song: caramel by city high
2 comments |
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2004 26 October :: 6.40 pm
fuck boys..
so yea to make a long story short im not gonna see colin soon.. maybe thanksgiving.. w/e... im so angry at him.. he's hurt me a lot.. and it's like i know he's sorry and i know he apologizes... and means it.. but it doesn't change the fact that he still did wat he did... im sick of this shit... i haven't told anyone except michael... and that's just cuz i think i'd get a bunch of "i told u so's" if i did tell ppl... so im not gonna... also i think im kinda ashamed at the fact that .. well i shoulda known better.. i shoulda known better than to fall in love.. i dont know if we're gonna make it thru this.. i promised him we would.. but i just dont know anymore.. our entire relationship pretty much rests upon the next letter i get from him and his responses... and as much as i'd like to remain optimistic.. something tells me this is the end..
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2004 18 October :: 8.46 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: son de amores - andy y lucas
HOORAYYYYY!
GUESS WHAT?! i asked my mom if i can go see colin for my bday! and she said yea!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!! today was a pretty good day.. that math test i failed.. and thought i would get a C in the class for... i got an 83!! which means i got an 87 in the class hooray! .. so yea today kicked butt as far as im concerned .. i can't wait to tell colin.. he's gonna be so happy... aww ican't wait! .. i finished filling out my nhs application a lil while ago.. i really hope i get in man... if i dont... im screwed... agh... im sposed to be reading heart of darkness rite now.. i didnt read last time and failed the quiz.. but w/e... i dont get that book.. it's confusing... i read like 20 pgs of the part i was sposed to read.. so w/e...im startin to get a lil worried bout michael.. i think he's gettin the wrong idea.. .like today.. i asked him if he had called me .. and he said yea. .adn i was like oh ok my grandma's dumb cuz she confuses u and colin.. cuz i walked in and she goes.. oh ur boyfriend called... and after i said that to him.. he goes well if i had things my way that wouldn't be wrong... i was like ahh dont say that.. i mean he's a sweet guy but i dont like him like that.. i love my baby.. and i dont want him thinkin there's anything up wit us... oh wellz anyways... i got a letter from my baby today! hooray! .. hehe so many freakin hooray's in this entry... alritey well i think im done for today so ill talk to u guys some other time.. buhz byez.
tonite's song: por ti me casare- eros ramazotti .. .aww such a cute song.. it translates to .. for u i will marry
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2004 13 October :: 7.33 pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: summer stars- taking back sunday
another day in the life of thaimi
u know that feeling u get where u feel like something is gonna go really wrong soon... im worried.. i've been having that feeling... like something awful is gonna happen... and then i've also been havin that feeling... where i kinda feel like there's something i should be doing ... agh today so many ppl kept telling me to go to homecoming... god i wanna go... i wanna go in the sense that i wish colin was here so that i COULD go... cuz i dont wanna go by myself... and i dont wanna see all the lovey dovey couples.. cuz everyone has a date... and itll just make me sad.. today was a pretty crappy day.. i failed a math test.. and im pretty sure that brings me down to a C .. and if i get a C on my report card.. oh my gosh my mom will shoot me... i really hope i still pull off a B .. but i dunno if that'll happen.. fuck it's times like these when i wanna talk to colin.. when i have such a crappy day.. i wanna be able to call my baby up and vent... im worried that this is really gonna change us.. cuz i mean there's only so long we can cling to the memories of how we used to be ... my mom asked me again today wat i wanted for my bday.. i dont know y but i can't bring myself to ask her to take me to see him... it's like everytime i get the opportunity to do so.. i chicken out... i gotta do it soon though cuz the less notice i give her the more likely she is to say no... i wanna see him so bad... if i dont get to see him my birthday's gonna suck... cuz there's honestly nothing i want.. im fine... i have clothes.. there rn't any cd's out now that i like wanna have really bad... w/e i dunno... i just wanna see him... maybe that'll keep me happy for a while...i miss him so much it's crazy...well i gtg do hw so ill talk to u guys later or something... bye
tonite's song: ella y el by ricardo arjona
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2004 10 October :: 10.48 am
:: Mood: better..
:: Music: same as song
i love this song .. dl it .. it's amazing
Cannonball
by Damien Rice
There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It's still a little hard to say what's going on
There's still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness
There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
There's still a little bit of your song in my ear
There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon..
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't want to scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
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2004 9 October :: 9.51 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: same as song listed
such a pretty song... cough britney's a bitch cough ... hehe
Never Again
by Justin Timberlake
Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Girl, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again
No, no, no, no, no, no
Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it
But you didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Again ,yeah
Again, yeah, yeah
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Never get to love me
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2004 9 October :: 9.25 pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: feels like home by chantal... some freaky ass last name..
*elongated sigh*
today was an awful day... i ended up being like 43 bucks short at my register.. and i dont know how in the world that happened..cuz im thought i had done all my change correctly.. but the lady said it was prolly some sort of debit thing... so i dont know.. but i'll prolly get written up.. and if it happens again i think i get fired.. i dont know... im so pissed at myself though.. but w/e wat can u do.. oh today i saw this kid that i hadn't seen since mid school... joseph... he was ugly in mid school but now.. he's not that bad.. he like yelled my name from across the store.. i was like wtf.. hehe.. and then i recognized him and i was like oh hey! ... i ate at quiznos subs today.. it was yummy.. i had this like smoked turkey thing.. it was good.. i worked from 11-7 today.. aww man my feet r killing me... good thing tomorrow i only work from 2-7 ... plus i gotta get some hw done... i keep meaning to call rachael too.. but i forget.. i've been meaning to call her for like a week and a half now... but w/e ill talk to her tomorrow or something i guess... colin called me last nite and i talked to him for a whole 5 min... the only time i've heard his voice this whole week... im so sick of this fuckin situation.. i love him.. i should be able to see him... this is really fucking pissing me off.. and the fact that im not gonna see him this whole year .. or at least that's what it looks like.. it just really depresses me... but w/e the point is he called to let me know he HAD gotten moto... which is like ... this 2 week thing where u have like no free time to do anything.. they plan ur day out completely .. to the last second... and they make em do like physical labor and stuff.. it sucks... i wrote him a letter the other day... school's goin alrite i guess... i really want summer vacation to come around... or even just christmas... christmas always makes me happy... :D ... aww u gotta love christmas... my presents rn't usually all the great but it's the christmas "feeling" that makes the holiday all worthwhile... everyone's all cheery.. well except at toy stores where ppl turn into beasts.. haha.... ::sigh:: parents... i was supposed to get payed today.. i forgot to get my check... whoops... oh well... not like i have anything to spend my money on anyway.. hehe it's funny cuz i have money coming in now.. but i have no desire to spend any of it... ooh i forgot.. colin wanted me to buy us rings.. and send it to him so he can wear it... but i gotta go to the mall for that.. as soon as football season's over and donna's not busy friday's ill go wit her to the mall and hang out and ill buy it there... i really hope everything goes well wit work from now on.. i mean the lady told me not to worry too much bout it cuz it happened to some other new girl in the last couple of days.. but still.. the thing is i dont know how to fix the problem cuz i have no idea how it even happened in the first place... i was really careful... agh... w/e... i gotta stop fussing.. and then when i got home my mom kept asking me what was goin on cuz i looked sad.. and i was like im fine just leave me alone.. but she kept insisting and insisting and it just got me really fucking frustrated so i started cryin and i told her what happened and i was like there? r u happy can u leave me alone now?! ... but w/e i should go cuz im really tired and all i wanna do is sleep... goodnite everyone.. and i hope u guys had a good day. nite nite ...
tonite's song: cannonball by damien rice
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2004 8 October :: 7.55 pm
:: Mood: sick of this continual bullshit we call reality..
:: Music: heart translplant by punchline
"for every girl who ever broke my heart, for every fucked up friend who played that part.. i have lost my faith in finding humanity" -- second best by pulley
.. yucky week.. can only get yuckier.. im sick of school.. can't wait to get the fuck out ... i miss colin... life sucks... i think im gettin fat... the end.
tonite's song: paper rock scissors by jamison parker.. it sums up exactly how i feel.. it's on my profile if any of u care to take a look..
"GO TO HELL .. WHO NEEDS U!?!"-- heart transplant by punchline ... that's pretty much how i feel towards everybody rite now .. so in other words.. fuck off
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2004 2 October :: 7.24 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: you mean the world to me by punchline
im pooped!
well today was my first official day of work... last saturday i went thru the video training but today i actually got to work.. and i got payed for last week.. 30.49 go me! hehe that was 5 hours worth of work... aww man im so tired.. and all i did was work for 4 hours today.. tomorrow im workin for 8!!! haha omg ima be soo tired.. .and i was too shy to ask for a lunch break.. so i went all 4 hours without takin a break to eat.. or even sit down! which is kinda illegal cuz it's considered "child abuse" haha ... but w/e it was cool... for like the first two hours i worked the register wit diff ppl helpin me to make sure i did everything rite.. haha donna stopped by! she made me all nervous i kept screwin up hehe... but then cuz of the Bucs game tomorrow.. it started gettin really busy so they told me to bag instead cuz it wasn't a good day to train ... so i started baggin and then the lady who took my place had to go get her lunch break so this kid came and took her place.. he's in high school too.. jefferson.. and he's not too shabby.. hehe he kept askin me what school i go to and when was my homecoming and wat not.. cool guy.. he was sweet ... man i was so hungry when i got home! i bought a salad from the deli there wit my own money ::proud:: hehe ... fuck and i still have to do hw... ima be so worn out when track starts and i have hw, track, AND work... aww man ima be like collapsing on my bed every nite... haha that sucks... oh well i kinda like being busy.. it helps keep my mind off of how crappy things r rite now... which is good... i dont know y but i've been kinda pessimistic lately bout everything.. like nothing makes me happy...but im tryin to stop focusin on that and yarita's helpin me :) ... OOH GUESS WHAT?! the spongebob movie's comin out soon! hehe i asked rachael today to come see it wit me.. cuz i wanna hang out wit her again and she'd be the perfect person to take to something like that hahaha ... me and her have the same retarded sense of humor hehe so ya it'll work... i talked to michael online today... he was sweet at times and then a meanie at other times haha ... like i sent him a pic of me cuz he wanted to see the red in my hair.. and i was like jesus i smile so big! haha .. and he goes .. yea but it IS a pretty smile.. i was like aww that's sweet hehe ... owwie my feet hurt ... i dont have too much hw due monday which is good.. but ima have to start really usin my ja's wisely instead of talkin to natalia the whole time.. cuz they would really help man.. alritey well ima go and talk to yara and play some scrabble.. buhz byez ppls
tonite's song: my favorite accident by motion city soundtrack
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2004 27 September :: 5.37 pm
babaloo181: do u think bout me a lot?
lagthecollapse7: lol
lagthecollapse7: baby
lagthecollapse7: i never stop thinking about you..
-- and that's y i love him...
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2004 25 September :: 10.35 pm
colin sent me this poem in a letter... apparently they read it in his english class...it was written by a woman bout her husband so he switched all the he's and she's and husband's and womans so that it would make sense ... as if it was from him to me... i dont know if that made sense but w/e look..originally it was called To my dear and loving husband but he switched it to my dear and loving wife... see what i mean? k well here's the poem.. i thought it was really sweet:
If ever two were one, then surely we,
If ever woman were lov'd by husband, then thee;
If ever husband was happy in a woman,
compare me ye men if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such i can no way repay.
The heavens reward thee manifold, i pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so perservere,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
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2004 25 September :: 10.16 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: hero by chad kroger and that other dude...
stole this from yarita
1. PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS OUT, NOW HOW DID YOU GET IT
-hmm... there's this one on my finger that i've had for the LOOOOONGEST but yet i have nooo idea how it got there.... still boggles my mind..
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
-boyband posters.... wow i should really get around to taking those down hehe
3. WOULD YOU RATHER PLAY FOOTBALL OR WATCH IT?
-is neither an option?
4. WHAT SPORT WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE BEST AT?
-hehe next question <-- i agree
5. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE?
- the one where i was walkin down this meadow... and all of a sudden this HUUUUUUGE bunny starts chasing me... and then i woke up.
6. HOW DO YOU EXERCISE?
-going up and down the school stairs and stuff... other than that im a bum
7. APPLES OR ORANGES?
-ehhl neither... cept for apple sauce! i luuuuuuuuuv apple sauce!
8. GRAPES OR WATERMELON?
-watermelon... haha donna
9. WOLVES OR TIGERS?
-tigers
10.WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
-i listen to a lil bit of everything
11.HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN POETRY?
-yea... silly me i actually thought i was good at it ... funny how many words rhyme with sky
12.DO YOU REMEMBER BIRTHDAYS?
-only the important ones
13.DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
-8 20 ish
14.DO YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK, WHERE?
-yep in my eye lid... weird i know hehe
15.WOULD YOU CALL YOURSELF A ROMANTIC PERSON?
-yea
16.WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?
-hmm ... way to many to pick the WEIRDEST but the one that comes to mind... is when i was at donna's house and i decided to use my boobs as laser guns and shoot at her while aiming my boobs her way... haha... u really had to be there :P
17.WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU STARTED FILLING THIS IN?
-watchin law and order: svu
18.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUM?
-green extra or winterfresh
19.FAVORITE CHOCOLATE?
-milky way... but that's like asking me how many of my limbs i'd like to keep...
20.FAVORITE CANDY (NON CHOCOLATE)?
-hmm... ruling out chocolate? well that's just madness... but... reese's pieces i guess... hey there's no chocolate in those!
21.CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE-CREAM?
-haha let's be real...vanilla never stood a chance
23. DO YOU OWN ANYTHING LEATHER
-yea a skirt.. i rarely wear it though.. mostly cuz im not a whore... minor detail
24. FAVORITE COLOGNE?
-old spice... cawen uses it .. yummo
25. FAVORITE PERFUME?
-it's from bath and body works... it's called warm vanilla sugar
26. DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT?
-well colin always used to pat my legs as if they were drums when we listened to music... does that count? hehe
27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON SOMEONE (OPPOSITE SEX)?
-sense of humor... then eyes
28. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
-chocolate
29. FAVORITE SOUND THAT YOU HEAR OFTEN?
-colin's voice..
30. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT NOW?
-please hit melbourne please hit melbourne...
31. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
-it depends who im with... if it's someone kinda creepy... then hell yea.. but if im in a small room wit someone i feel comfy wit.. then no
32. COULD YOU EVER SEE YOURSELF MOVING FROM WHERE YOU ARE?
-psh hell yea...ny here i come
33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE OF ALL TIME?
-umm... that's a toughie...is finding nemo a disney movie? i think it is... well if it is then yea! i love that movie!
34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME?
-iris by the goo goo dolls
35. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR WHEN YOU WERE TEN?
-baby blue
36. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
-chestnut brown :)
37. HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
-yep.. i do so every nite... colin's moose :D
38. IF SO WHAT WAS/IS IT'S NAME?
-...moosy? hehe i dont know but i used to have a puppy named chantal.. and then i had a froggy named mr. froggy... im not very creative hehe
39. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
-the earliest one i can remember? .. his name was joel lopez and he had the most beautiful blue eyes i have ever seen... ::googly eyes::
40. MOST EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD MOMENT?
-umm.. i think i peed my pants in the middle of sears once when i was like 5... psh i told my mom i had to go! but did she listen to me?! noooooo! psh.. she learned HER lesson....
41. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
-short, soft, spiky's cute too... the kinda hair i can play wit :)
42. WHAT ATTRACTS YOU TO SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
-sense of humor... confidence... not to be confused with arrogance mind u... and a really nice smile
43. WHO OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS (SAME SEX) HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST?
-umm .. prolly yara
44. NOW THE OPPOSITE?
-psh i dunno ... some chick i met at work today?
45. WHAT IS THEIR MIDDLE NAME?
-well yara doesn't have one i dont believe.. and that chick... i barely know her first name
46. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?
-Sunset
47. WHERE AT?
-at the top of a hill... cuddled up in a blanket with someone u love.. drinkin something warm
48. (FOR THE LADIES, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
-at our apartment... i kinda wanna live wit the person before i marry em... i can see myself walkin in and ... following a bunch of lil notes all around the house finally leading me to him.. wearing a tux... as he gets down on one knee and says the sweetest things to me... followed by thaimi.. will u marry me?
49. (NOW THE GENTLEMEN, BE TRUTHFUL) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
-
50. WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES OF THIS YEAR?
-the notebook and fifty first dates
57. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON?
-venice, italy
58. CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?
-Inot anymore but in the fourth grade... man i played the recorder like nobody's business! and well the piano last year but let's face it that was a waste of time hehe
59. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
-yep spanish.. and im learning french and latin.. and i will learn italian in the near future
60. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)?
-umm... a rose
61. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER?
-lead singer of the goo goo dolls or the lead singer of staind
62. FAVORITE BAND(s)?
-goo goo dolls, matchbook romance, dashboard confessional
63. WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
-i dont have time to read books that i wanna read cuz im too busy readin the ones they make me read...
64. DO YOU LIKE POETRY?
-i love love love poetry...
65. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE?
- french vanilla cappuccino... yummo
66. WHAT's your favorite PHRASE to use?
-babalooo
67. DRAGONS OR DINOSAURS?
-wat kinda question is that? weirdo...
68. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
-leaving as in... leaving the city/country... or leaving as in dying? ... either way i dont think it's something i could control...
69. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
-by not hurting them... and by being honest
71. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
-47
72. BLONDES REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES?
-redheads... granted im a brunette but redheads have such cool hair!
73. WOULD YOU PREFER TO GO ICE SKATING OR ROLLER SKATING?
-neither.. call me crazy but i dont exactly like falling on my ass 99 consecutive times...
74. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
-no one's anymore... used to be colin's
75. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
-when ppl break their promises or when parents spoil their children..
76. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
-haha yep
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2004 25 September :: 10.08 pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: song in my head
aww fuckerdoodle
long time no talk... sorry.. i've been quite the busy bee... lots of hw... not a lot of time to come online... sowwie yara i know i've kinda been neglecting u lately.. i dont mean to it's just hard to balance everything and everyone.. today was my first day at work.. i felt so self-sufficient driving myself there and everything.. it was cool... everyone kept telling me how much i look like my mom... weird... hehe ... well this hurricane's gonna hit melbourne apparently but i looked at the site and FAA isn't evacuating .... that sucks... hopefully they will... i need to see him.... he called me on our 7 month anniversary... and before that i hadn't talked to him in a week... and it's been 3 days since... agh... i should be doing latin rite now but w/e... ima go back to watchin tv... or i may just lay in bed and sulk... in either case... nite nite.
tonite's song: this one's for the girls by martina mcbride... kinda corny but cute nontheless :)
Say what?? |
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2004 11 September :: 8.12 pm
:: Mood: good- isn't that new..
:: Music: accidentally in love by counting crows
hey everyone
wats up ppls? man i haven't had any time to go online lately! so much hw and everything..agh. i was like over a week behind in latin man... but i got all caught up today ..well kinda i gotta finish one assignment tomorrow and then ill be rite on track...now all i gotta do is finish my reg hw... no school monday hooray! im realy scared bout that hurricane though... it's a strong ass hurricane man! and our house isn't that strong.. i mean i know we're not gonna stay here if it hits but im just really scared that we'll come back and all our stuff will be ruined... cuz it's not like we can afford that kind of disaster... but anyway let's move on to a happier note. today was a pretty good day. i went to westshore mall wit my friend rachael whom i met at usf... i hadn't seen her in forever and it was so nice to spend time wit her ... omg we laughed like crazy. haha we passed by this incense place and they had one that was called "pussy" we couldn't help but smell it ... it smelled like baby powder to me... haha .. i was like where's the penis-smelling incense?! hehe ... and then there was one scent called viagra plus.. haha i was like hmm... we smelled that one too hehe .. we're such dorks... but other than that all we did was eat and talk.. omg did we eat ... haha .. we passed by this cookie place and bought two fudge brownies.. and then we walked around and we ended up passing by the food court ... and there was this mexican restaurant... omg the food smelled so good... we had to stop there haha ... omg it's so funny cuz whenever me and her hang out we always end up eating like pigs hehe it's great... but yea we bought this huuuuge grilled chicken burrito and split it ... omg it was so yummy! i was full as hell though haha ... and after that we went and hung out wit her mommy who was there gettin her nails done at the salon ... her mom is so nice .. haha she's so cool too ... everytime i'd say something stupid she'd give me this look like "wat the hell..." haha and she'd just laugh at me hehe .. she reminds me so much of rachael it's so funny ... but yea it was a pretty good day... then i got home and colin called me ... im so worried that the phone bill is gonna be off the charts man ... cuz my grandma's gonna have a fit since she's the one who pays for the phone bill ... so im scared as hell... but hopefully it wont be too bad.... haha that comment i made bout wantin a hurricane to hit melbourne came back to bite me in the ass didnt it?! i wanted it to hit melbourne so that colin would have had to evacuate to tampa ... but instead god sent one to tampa haha .. i guess he's tryin to show me that i shouldn't wish harm on a city just so that i can be happy for a few hours... which is very true ... but still. .. haha i find the irony kinda funny. i've been in a lighter mood lately which is nice ... i like being happier for a change.. i think it's cuz i hang out wit rachael... like honestly when i hang out wit her i dont even think bout how much i miss colin cuz she just keeps my mind off things.. it's nice... i think that if me and her went to the same school.. omg we'd be like inseperable cuz .. i dunno she's just so laid-back .. there would never be drama wit her cuz she doesn't get upset about anything .. i want more ppl like that in my life.. ppl who dont stress ... ppl who just dont sweat the small stuff and are just fun and easy to get along with ... i wanna be more like that ... but i can't help but get mad at shit...oh wellz... still though it doesn't change the fact that today was a purdy good day.. well as good of a day as it could have been without my baby. i miss him so much ... aww man i would give anything just to hug him rite now ... it's hard ... cuz im an affectionate person and not having him here to hug and kiss ... it just sucks... and this year i was so excited about goin to homecoming cuz i knew i would have fun... and i'd have someone to actually dance the slow songs with ... which i've never had before at any dance... but now it's ruined... cuz i dont wanna go and watch all the couples dancing to slow songs and wrapping their arms around each other ... agh it would just depress me ... i really wish things were different though...
tonite's song: beethoven's moonlight senata-- i've been getting into classical music lately... which is weird cuz it's never been a fave of mine .. but i listen to it while im doing latin hw just to drown out the noise from my house ... it helps me focus... i just love the sound of it .. it's so relaxing ...
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2004 5 September :: 6.03 pm
take my quiz ... so far yara's in the lead wit 80 percent
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=040905173556-lil~p27~p20ol~p27~p20thaimi~p20fina
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