:: 2003 9 September :: 9.45 pm

One more month biotch.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

5 Inspirations | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 1 September :: 5.30 pm

Prince is so fucking sexy.

"When Doves Cry" (by Prince)
How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.


Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

--> Leave Advice

:: 2003 24 August :: 7.34 pm
:: Music: Dashboard- As Lovers Go

1 Inspiration | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 19 August :: 8.09 pm

you know i was thinkin for a while..
and im back here.

happy
happy and hanging out
confused
to love or not to love?

that is the question i have now been asking myself. i dont think i can only depend upon myself for this one. trying to ask myself different things. there are never any definite promises kept of everything going bad again. who knows. i dont have the right to say im jealous when i dont want to act on my feelings. which causes me to be distant. which makes me and everyone else unhappy. klzsjfgklasetka so sorry.

i was thinking about that whole "you learn from life's mistakes" thing. or the "you wont know til you find out" ha or how about the "hard times only make you stronger" one.

--> Leave Advice

:: 2003 14 August :: 5.45 pm

i feel so shitty. ive had a headache for most of the day and 3 asprin later, no improvements.

i hate school.



hold me.

6 Inspirations | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 12 August :: 9.41 pm
:: Mood: Sleepy

On my way into the Oral Dentist's Office Katie Godden walked out from her follow-up and had her stitches removed. It was nice to see her and she relieved me when she said it doesnt hurt. nothing seemed to hurt and the only thing felt was the pinch for the IV. The surgery took proabably a toal of 20 minutes. Im on Oxycodine. Woo Hoo :)
I came home with my chin, tongue, and lower lip totally numb. I felt like a uh, African-American.

I didnt know how to put a hyperlink on earlier. I wanted to post the "Jesus Is My Homeboy" t-shirt i want from UO.

So much for that. Im very sleepy.

2 Inspirations | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 11 August :: 10.21 pm
:: Mood: Aggravated

take me away from this fucking hell hole.
yeah so ive kept a lot private lately. i dont feel comfortable with people knowing my shit anymore. whatever. so some of this may have left off from things you havent heard of and some may be knew.
fucking enjoy.

so saturday night donna had an empty house. Donna Kate and I went over there first and we were having a get-together to just chill n drink n shit. My drinking got way out of hand shot after shot after shot. 3 types of vodka later i was a mess. the whole night was a blackout to me. i dont remember anything and it scares the shit out of me. the possibilities of what could have happened are frightening. Donna and Kate told their parents that they were at each others houses and when Kate wasnt picking up her cell phone her mom decided to call Donnas house (her parents are divorced, we were at her moms). We were busted everyone left and i threw up all over Donna's room and Kate had to call my parents to come get me. i couldnt stand and had to be helped to the car. i got home and threw up all over myself again and all over my bed and clothes on the floor. I was histerical, crying and i remember saying countless "im so sorry's" to my parents who were cleaning me up. it was the scarriest night of my life. my mom slept on my room to make sure i wouldnt choke on my own vomit and return to her bed at 6 30 when i woke up. i called katie crying and talked about everything that happened. i woke up in the morning with bruises all over my knees and knots on the back of my head. called tommy and asked alex what was going on and no one really knew where i was. louis told me chas and i kissed. the thought of alcohol disgusts me at this point and makes me sick.

hungover and looking at houses. we bought one. and now im told we changed our minds and are looking for cheaper again. im grounded for a whole month...yup.

im so upset with my mom at this point you have no idea. i feel like im being punished for not just beacuse i lied but because her having to come get me, the embarassment, and care taking was an inconvience. you know what fuck you. I LEARNED MY FUCKING LESSON and you can have whatever negative thoughts you want in your head to make you feel right.

"jess what are you going to do when you get a car"
"i dont think i want her getting a car"
"do you know that you could have died"
"that was so embarassing for us"

yet she feels to tell everyone including parents whose daughters were not there nor involved.

i made a fucking mistake and im going to pay for it. everyone knows she's perfect and NEVER fucks up.

school starts in 3 days.
i get my wisdom teeth pulled out tomorrow.
give me some fucking valuum (sp)


i see and talk a lot with mark now.
he came over last night.



i stated my boundaries.
yet i get jealous when other people cross them.
think about what you tell me and then think about what you dont tell me.
i know, oh yes, i know.

so um school better keep me busy. as much as im not looking forward to it i dont know what id do with myself at a time like this.

love me damnit.

3 Inspirations | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 7 August :: 10.14 pm
:: Music: barenaked ladies- grade 9

1 Inspiration | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 4 August :: 11.23 pm
:: Mood: Dissatisfied
:: Music: DC- Rapid Hopeloss

2 Inspirations | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 31 July :: 12.11 am
:: Mood: Vulnerable

tell me
is there any more room for me
in those jeans
<333

--> Leave Advice

:: 2003 28 July :: 4.28 pm

im instances from drifting off and sleeping right. and then i get a text 2 30. its mark. invited me to go to warped tour with him. i was physed bc i was bummed early about not going. yeah so that was one of the best wake up calls in a while. wt was great fun. it was hot as a mother fucker though. i saw ataris thrice glassjaw the used poison the well and afi.

so that was the latest highlight of my life and i dont feel like writing about all the other nonsense that no one cares about anymore. or for now at least.

bummer dude.


i dont want to fuck you
i dont want to fuck you
i dont want to fuck you
so fuck you!

1 Inspiration | --> Leave Advice

:: 2003 25 July :: 6.48 pm

I debo'd this shiznit from Ben. <3
Thank ya.



-- BODY ILLS AND SKILLS --
Nervous Habits: im not sure
Are you double jointed?: no
Can you roll your tongue?: yes
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: i try.
Can you blow spit bubbles?: in a cooler way than anyone else
Can you cross your eyes?: just recently learned
Tattoos?: no
Piercings and where?: 2 holes, cartilage
Do you make your bed daily?: the cleaning lady makes it every friday. thats enough.


-- CLOTHES --
Which shoe goes on first?: i think it differs
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?: HONESTLY, WHO THROWS A SHOE?! muahah
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet?: less than i wish
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: umm an earing and a toe ring
Favorite Piece of Clothing: one of my greeeen<3 shirts
Pajamas: a t-shirt, boxers


-- FOOD --
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl; ok once you cut your spaghetti don't you have to twirl it anyways to eat it? you can't stab it.
Have you ever eaten Spam?: bleh, no.
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: vanilla
How many cereals in your cabinet?: 1 very old box of cinnamon toast crunch
What's your favorite beverage?: coke.
What's your favorite restaurant?: mac grille
Do you cook?: surely, when i get hunnngry


-- GROOMING --
How often do you brush your teeth?: twice a day
How often do you shower/bathe?: once a day
How long does your shower last?: 10-25 min depending on length of leg hair haha
Hair drying method: air dry
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?: mmhmmm
Do you paint your nails?: my left hand usually


-- MANNERS --
Do you swear?: fuck no.
Do you ever spit?: no


-- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE --
Animal: sea turtle, dog
Food: potato
Month: december
Day: friday, saturday
Cartoon: south park
Shoe Brand: does that really matter?
Subject in school: jkehfkajsg none.
Color: greeeeenn
Sport: basketball
Tv show: f.r.i.e.n.d.s
Vacationing Spot: from past experiences, wisconsin. not too much of a family for excitement but you gotta love those farms.
Game: monopoly and pocket yahtzee :)


-- IN AND AROUND --
The CD Player: currently empty
Person you talk most on the phone with: marisa no doubt dawg. one love
Ever taken a cab?: ahh yes <33
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?: not regularly. but i have been guilty.
What color is your bedroom?: light blue
Do you use an alarm clock?: if i have to be somewhere
Window seat or aisle?: window, i dont want to have to worry about my elbows


-- LA LA LAND --
What's your sleeping position? you know--laying down.
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?: if a comforter counts, then yeah
Do you snore?: no
Do you sleepwalk?: maybe
Do you talk in your sleep?: ive heard so
Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: no
How about with the light on?: no
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: radio occasionally


-- WHICH IS BETTER --
Coke or Pepsi?: coke fer shizzle
Oranges or apples?: apples, but orange juice
One pillow or two?: how about 3 or 4?
Deaf or blind?: blind
Pools or hot tubs?: hmm
Blondes or brunettes?: i dont care
Tall or short?: doesnt matter
TV or radio?: tv, u can listen to music on it also..
Beach or pool?: beach
Tic-Tacs or Certs?: gum def.
Snooze button or jump out of bed?: ignore the buzzing sound completely and sleep through the alarm
Sunrise or Sunset?: sunset
Hamburger or Cheeseburger?: cheeseburger
Morning or night?: night
Sports or news?: sports
Indoors or outdoors?: depends, what are we doing?
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?: day, im not too fond of family events :-\
Cake or ice cream?: ice cream
Spearmint or Peppermint?: neither, wintergreen
Bath or shower?: shower
Book or Movie?: movie
Green or Red apples?: either
Rain or Snow?: i like both.
Nike or Adidas?: uhmm? why that?


-- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU --
Took a shower?: 2 hours ago
Cried?: when things got bad with my parents
Talked on the phone?: 3+ hours
Read a book?: fuck books, i hate reading
Punched someone?: hah last night


-- THE FUTURE --
Where do you see yourself in ten years? hopefull happy where ever life takes me
Who are you going to be married to?: the right one.
How many kids?: right now: i hhattee kids. but when the time comes im thinkin 1 or 2
Your profession: psycologist
Future School: i have no idea


Went to Kate's yesterady and Justine came over. :-( poor Chas. The little guy was feeding the pizza dough through the machine and it toook is left hand and cut off his pointer finger. He went to the emergency room but the coundnt sew it back onbc it was too mangled. Tommy came over and we went to visit him for going to the movies. Things like that change my perspective on someone. You feel so bad that you just want to hold the kid and tell him everything's going to be ok. He's not going to be the same Chas. And probably not as confident. My sympathy. We wached half of one the stupidest movies. Johnny English. Why would they even waste their money on making that film i dont know why. The acting was terrible and everything was predicable. We stayed up til 5 30 talking, eating, blowing bubbles, played never-have-i-ever minus the alcohol, and then scared the shit out of each other when we decided to settle down.

Kate is leaving tomorrow for a week or so to Cocoa beach for her family reunion.

I came home today and my room is rearranged. I hate it. I hate not having my bad against a wall. I feel as if im going to roll off. Even though my room was so poorly put together before and it looked like someone through the furniture in its place, i didnt mind. blah

Jessica

--> Leave Advice

:: 2003 22 July :: 6.03 pm

im too lazy to even updatee.

umm one day +night with mark and mike.
muahahahah THE SEEAT!! thanks guys :)

one more afternoon with mark and mike.

slept at marisas.

going to kate's soon with justine to booze it. justinne wahy dont u drink?!

--> Leave Advice

:: 2003 20 July :: 1.36 pm

i gotta stop doing this. my body is on the worst schedule. its go to sleep at 3ish and wake up anywheres frm 1 to 3.

wasting the day away in margarita ville.

yesterday was a day full of errands. looked at that condo with the gparents. came home. went to the vet to get meds for turbo. mcdonalds. cell phone store. a ladies house to turn off her sprinklers. my moms office to pick up a tree. my grandmas house to drop it off. my other gparents house to pick up the race trailer. and finally back home.

**NEWS FLASH**
yes ladies and gentlemen. Jessica Brown has received a cell phone of her own.
THIS IS NOT A TEST
yup so uhh add me in errr whatever.
305.7803

Welllll...we're moving. yup. I gave the big thumbs up. It wont be so bad. The place is really nice.

Ummm my dads race truck finally has been sold. I dont think Ive posted about this yet. He sold it on E-bay for 45 grand er something. HA he sold it to a towel head in a country next to Afghanistan called Dubai (sp?). LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!

:-DDDD

--> Leave Advice

:: 2003 19 July :: 2.40 pm

decisions..decisions...
so now the decision is left to me whether i want to move or not. my parents bought a 3 bed 2 bath condominium yesterday. our intentions were to rent it out and then sell it in a year or so to make a hefty profit. but now were thinking about selling the house we're living in now and moving into the condo for a year and then going someplace else. ok so i checked the place out today. it has a lot of pros: private beach, workout room and community pool, balcony, gated, bigger room, etc. but the cons: smaller living area. no living room. but that wouldnt matter since ours is rarely used anyways. 1 car garage which is detached and across the street, wed have to rent a storage space somewhere for all of our extra furniture and shit in the attic.

::sigh:: i dont know what to do. im used to my house. i dont know if i want to leave it. my parents tell me how im going to be driving come mid year and then i wont be home anyways blah blah..
i kinda wish they would just say "u know jessica, we're moving and we think its the right thing to do so sorry your going to have to get used to it" i hate haveing to make this decision. ahhh.

5 Inspirations | --> Leave Advice