Ariana

:: 2005 26 December :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: contemplative

You piss me off...
I just want it all to stop. One day, just ONE DAY could we not fight. And I don't mean because we won't see eachother. I mean because we love eachother, and because there's nothing to fight about. Please? That's really all I want, just to be happy. You know I don't feel anything for ANY other guy. I want to be with you... no one else. I feel terrible for what I said to you downstairs. And yet it was the truth, I did mean it. It's bad, I'm not a great person because of it, but it's the truth. It felt good not to be the one who was upset for once... it felt good to know you finally knew how I'd been feeling. I'm sorry that I said it, but I couldn't help it. I needed you to know that you felt the same way you'd made me feel countless times before. So now you know. Lets never make eachother feel that way again. And Wednesday, when I see you, it's an us day. Period. No one else... just the two of us. Then we can just chill, work anything out that we need to, and be happy from now on. Okay? Good.

No more anger, no more fights, no more saddness. Finally, life will be perfect.

liz	:: 2005 26 December :: 11.39am things have become strange again. i am disliking change and his attitude scares me. Leave a Red Hair

:: 2005 25 December :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: The Aviator

I am the source of most my pain... and it's all for a boy.
It's true ya' know. I cause it all. We fight, we yell, he acts like an idiot, and I act like a witch. Sometimes I wonder why I don't hate him... sometimes I wonder how we made it this far. I need him. That's why. I hate this feeling. Like somehow I'm helpless without him. I want him to do all he used to for me. Make me feel like I'm on top of the world. That's just not how it is now-a-days. He's always so distant.

He told me to trust him today. "Just trust me!" he said, he refused to answer my question. I wondered how he could possibly expect me to trust him if he wouldn't answer a simple question. Answering it would've let me trust him... but still nothing. He said I didn't love him because I wouldn't just trust him... I just hung up the phone. If he wanted to think that it was fine... he was in the wrong, not me. We talked again later. I told him he had to give me time to trust him again. He already blew it numerous times... he can't just get my trust back overnight. He finally answered me... though the answer was not what I was looking for.

We continued talking a bit, and right before we were gonna' go he did it again. He ticked me off again! I told him that and he just hung up. I left him a message. Told him how I felt. The ball's in his court now... hopefully he doesn't blow it.

Should I really stay with a guy who causes me this much pain on a regular basis... just because I love him? I don't really know anymore. I do love him though, more than anything in the world. He's the first and only guy I've ever really loved. I just want him to feel that way, and I want him to show it. Because if he doesn't, this relationship is not going to last much longer.

fishyrere

:: 2005 25 December :: 9.28pm

Merry Christmas. i love you all. really, i do!

~Re~

:: 2005 24 December :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: cold

Good news.
So, I finally got to hang out with JD last night. Unfortunetly that was ruined almost completely by a certain someones presence. I needed to buy a last minute Christmas gift, so I asked JD to go to Meijer with me after work. He said okay and was almost to my house when Matt called him. Apparently Matt and Ashley were bored, so JD invited them along... without asking me! I was kinda' annoyed since I hadn't seen JD in 2 days and barely all week. But of course, being the way I am, I just went with it. Then Matt started getting annoying... like REALLY annoying. I almost killed him! I had to spend from 8:30 to 11 o' clock at night with him... then finally got a little less than 15 minutes alone with JD. Well, kinda', my family was there too. Yea, I was not the happiest camper... all I wanted was some alone time with my love. But nope, couldn't have that.

Anyway, today I did get that alone time. Like, an hours worth... but still. We just chilled on his bed, watching bad TV and cuddling. I missed that like CRAZY. Yeppers... I was freakin' extatic!

So yea, that's basically it. Oh, except that New Years is still rocky with us. He and Matt were talking last night about doing exactly what I don't want them to do. Being as I'll be there most of the night though, I think I'll have a good chance of stopping it. At least stopping JD. The kid presses his luck with me WAY too much. But hey, it's his butt that'll be out the door if he keeps it up. Just sucks that I have to feel crappy too. I dunno', I'm not planning on us breaking up anytime soon or anything... I just want him to get a clue with some of this rebel without a cause stuff. It's just not my style.

Love to all, Happy Holidays!

shannonw55

:: 2005 23 December :: 11.50am

Goodbye!

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

:: 2005 23 December :: 9.48am

I never thought that would be true

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

"But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on"

In 2005, you moved on.

2 Red Hairs Left | Leave a Red Hair

:: 2005 22 December :: 6.17pm

holla'
im at home right now.
I have been for a week.
its cool.
im liking the at homeness.
food.
food is good.
work has sucked.
im feeling better.
chris best.
go to my academic records.
then final grades and that will give you your final grades.
.
ray is going to texas tomorrow and that has me all kinds of sad.
im not sure what to make of anything anymore. i mean as far as he is concerned.
my brother said that he reminds him of marty.
that is an odd comparison.
what since ray doesnt smoke weed and all.
my parents and I have been rowing over my smoking.
i have the night off thank god.
last night i worked adn then I stayed at kristens.
that sucked cuz ray and I fought the entire night.
i hate fighting.
i was being really unreasonable though.
okay dinnertime says my brother.
AWESEOME.
Merry christmas to you all because I wont update again until its all over and done with.

jacqui-chan

:: 2005 21 December :: 11.07pm
:: Mood: drained

Gratzi.
I love you guys. I was in the worst mood ever yesterday, and you guys saved me. I felt like hell. I think I just needed someone to tell me they love me and give me a hug. The hug I didn't get, but the I love you I did. I feel better now. And thanks Brie for the ass kickin' threat. Somehow that helps.

So yea. Have a Merry Christmas all. I love you... platonically. Chao.

-Jay-

:: 2005 21 December :: 9.08am

so brief synopsis here.
I am sick.
sick sick sick.
on some nasty horsepills.
I have a horrendouse sinus infection and my thyroid thing is probably back.
i have a very large lump next to my thyroid protruding out of my neck.
I got to work yesterday heather looked at me and told me to go home.
I have to work again today.
im going to work because I need to work, because I need the money.
I hate poor.
in brighter news.
I passed all of my classes.
Yay yay yay.
I really didnt think that I would or that I could and I did.
so yayness for me.
yay yay.
Two D's C and a B.
not great but I could have done so much worse and I am happy anyway ray is here so im out bitches.

6 Red Hairs Left | Leave a Red Hair

:: 2005 20 December :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: The keys of my keyboard beneath my fingers.

Fuck you.
Yea, I said it. I'm pissed as all hell right now. Nothing's going right, at least it doesn't seem like it. I just want everything to stop for two seconds... I need a break from life. I just want it to all stop. I want my boyfriend to act happy to see me, I want my dad to just back off and let me be, I want my sister to always be nice and not have so many witchy moments, I want my mom to not act like I never see her when I do, I want school to just go right, I want to not have to work so late all the time, I want to have JD hold me in his arms and let me cry on his shoulder, I want everyone to just be not so annoying, I want my grandma to stop thinking she knows everything, I want everything to just go right!!
Long list right? I know, but that's what I want. If you want to get me a Christmas present that'd be just perfect!
I know, I'm a whining, snobby, little bitch. I might be... but hey, karma right. So it had to have been coming.

Love you.

-Jay-

bigty623

:: 2005 20 December :: 3.05am

that was the hardest thing to do in my life, sit there and watch my grandma die. i hope that the rest of you don't have to go through anything like that. i don't care i bad i dislike someone. i just hope that know one else has to go through that. it was hard, it was just so quick. she was fine yesterday at lunch. My uncle dutch was laughing with her at lunch. he went outside to do something came back in and she was on her knees trying to get up to her bed. 11 and a half hours later at 11:30 she was dead. it was a shitty day. to start christmas break, which is supposed to be a good time of the year. not a bad time like it is starting to be.
-Ty

3 Red Hairs Left | Leave a Red Hair

shannonw55

:: 2005 19 December :: 1.40pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: The Fray - How To Save a Life

Blocked

It makes me feel weak.

Walking away vs. running away

I still feel like I'm running.

:: 2005 19 December :: 10.14am

Your Birthdate: February 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things.
You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle.
Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home.
You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak.

Your strength: Your intense optimism

Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents

Your power color: Jade

Your power symbol: Flower

Your power month: June

align="center">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

this would be the biggest load ever.
that is not me at all.
jesus.
i hate trends so why do i always go along with them.
what a waste of time.