Hell, Ive got nothing to do I might just as well update this bs.
School is school.
The only difference between college and high school is that you have less time to do things and your teachers dont nag you about it.
It sucks.
Im so tired because there isnt anyone to tell me to go to bed at a reasonable hour and so i dont, not to mention that I work until 11:30 most nights.\
I have a rough draft due tomorrow for the worst job Ive ever had.
KFC duh.
but i want to do a good job since this is my first paper. ive been working on it slowly and steadily I just cant get into it though. and even though its a rough draft you cant just bs it like people say, the thing about writing is that if you get one done in what you would call perfect and then look at it tomorrow its going to be completely different than it was yesterday, so while Im happy with what Ive got today, there will always be revisions tomorrow, that being said you want to do a good rough draft that way your have the best final possible. I care about this stuff I really do, which is pretty much more than I can say for high school. or maybe its because I was really proud of my high school papers and then Leo went and shot them all up and said that college writing is completely different. I dont know I hate it that what he says is so important to me. I barely know him for gods sake. On that not Im broke as croke but its cool cuz now I make 8.05 an hour and that my friends is not that bad for a college chick.
I'm thinking sometimes though as i walk around that I was totally made for college. Honestly I have made no friends from college, well Ive got Kaylee, my roomate, Leo and Gareth, Leo's roomate. but I dont see them too often especially leo now thats hes had surgery, anyway I dont care about it, Im not insecure at all. In high school if I was walking alone I just felt completely alone, I dont feel that here at all. Im alone but its isnt lonely, its independence. Im pretty sad though because I do feel like im pushing my high school friends away for no good reason. or vice versa. Only I understand what my deal was with jay and I would like to talk to you about that, one on one, not on woohu because frankly its no ones business but our own. I finally realized that life is changing and you know what? I am totally ready to deal with that.
i had a dream last night that I think really pushed that past. Reed was grand valleys softball coach and I didnt try out for the team but then halfway through the season I was like crying and begging for him to let me play, this dream though had absolutely nothing to do with softball though it was about the comfort of something that I know. Like I love my team so so so much. I miss them all which is a total switch from last years attitude but I miss them and I would give just about anything to have that back which is why when I tried out for a team of completely different people and a new coach and something completely unfamiliar I fucked it up. subconsious you understand. But honestly whatever. I dont care at all. i want to go to school and be with pj and live my life to the fullest I dont want to have to worry about softball all year long. Ill join an intramural then I can have my own life too. I dont want something to dominate my life so fully.
Good for me for quitting before I made a commitment to anyone I mean really.
this post is all shit grammaticaly. and all spelled wrong and I dont really care. Im so damn content.

3 Red Hairs Left | Leave a Red Hair