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m&ms487
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2004 8 July :: 10.46am
:: Mood: okay
I just got back from my meijer interview, and i got it, of course. Bah.
Now I have two jobs.
And if you were wondering, there are 24 days before band camp, and the start of wonderful ole marchin' season. 24, people. Only 24.
Eh...
Now I have two jobs, a boyfriend, a best friend (and other assorted friends), a car, and hair that needs to be deep conditioned and washed as soon as i get back up the lake.
Ain't life grand?
Well, I have nothing else to do today, tomorrow i have to work at four or five, I think i'm going to invite jessica up to the lake saturday, and i have to work sunday night. All in all I have something to do ever day. It gives me some goal to work for each day. Pathetic, but true.
5 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 1 July :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: chipper
[sigh]
The green thing in my journal isn't working for me much anymore, and i have the urge to change it, just not right now.
I don't want to do anything right now except sit.
I have to work tomorrow.
I don't really wanna. Oh well. It's money.
I have to call meijer back to get a second interview.
School job?
The insurance company warned me today that if I dispute the damages incurred on that guy's car that i backed into, then his insurance company would advise him to take me to small claims court.
I need none of this.
I want none of this.
I just wanna go to bed and never wake up.
Dreams can be so much nicer and much more easily manipulated than real life.
michelle
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 30 June :: 10.20am
| How to make a Michelle |
Ingredients:
1 part competetiveness
1 part crazyiness
5 parts empathy |
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little fitness if desired! |
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m&ms487
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2004 28 June :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: okay
I got a job today.....at Sticks and Stones. It's a gift shop/ice cream place in Pierson right off the expressway across from Mobile. Well now, aren't we just special?
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 27 June :: 6.57pm
You know you've been in band too long when:
You hear music on the radio and you start marking time.
You're walking behind someone and you're in step with them.
People ask you about your social life and you say "Oh you mean my flute?"
"Armed guard" means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.
You remember sharps and flats more easily than you remember the name of the president.
You see your section more than you see your family.
The band room is your second home. It is your home if you've got it bad.
You don't describe people by going "She's got brown hair, dark eyes, kind of tall..", but go "She's an alto sax."
Pep band is the highlight of your week.
4 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 20 June :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: complacent
This weekend has been indescribable. I don't think I will ever forget it. Yesterday I went and played tennis with Sam at Sand Lake at 9:30. We then went to my house and put the pictures from the lake on my digital camera that we took the night before. We went back to the lake and got ready and went to Rob's graduation party, and I left at 2:30 and went and saw Michelle at her graduation party, and then I head over to Rueben's party around four thirty. Good food. Good people. Good Rueben. It was really fun except when I burnt my pinky finger on the citrenella incense stick and fell down the stairs going out of the gazebo. Hey, I was tired, it's all good. I ended up staying the night at Rueben's house and we sat/slept/talked by the fire (or what became of it) until seven thirty in the morning. It got way too cold and we went inside and slept on the couch for a while. I left around nine thirty because I had to be back at the lake for father's day dinner. I think I slept a total of three hours. I have enough caffiene to last me a few more hours, and when the time arrives, I doubt I'll be able to make it to my bed. Eh, the floor can be comfortable, right?
Anyway, Father's Day. Fun stuff.
I think I'm going to go shopping with Jessie tomorrow to Greenville sometime in the morning or early afternoon, not like I have money to buy anything, but I have fabric and if I see something I like, I can make it. Yep. It happens.
-michelle-
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 17 June :: 10.16pm
| Basics | | Name:: | Michelle | | Age:: | 16 | | Height:: | 5'1" | | Hair Color:: | Red | | Eye Color:: | Changes- Blue and green and anywhere inbetween | | School Life | | What's your school's mascot?: | Red Hawk | | School color(s)?: | Red, White, Black, and Gray | | G.P.A.?: | 3.833 | | Who is your favorite teacher?: | Robuck | | What do they teach?: | Band | | Is this your favorite class?: | Heh, yes | | Internet | | Do you use any instant messengers?: | Yes | | If so, which ones?: | MSN | | About how many hours a day do you spend online?: | none to three | | Do you have a digital camera?: | yes | | If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?: | no | | Music | | Do you play any instruments?: | yes | | If so, what one(s)?: | Flute, mandolin, i can make out noises on a trumpet | | 3 Favorite Genres Of Music:: | Old rock, punkish rock, and instrumental | | 3 Favorite Bands:: | Green Day, Jet, WMFA flute choir (i know i know, band geekish) | | Do you go to concerts and/or shows?: | Yes | | What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?: | $5 | | What is the least you've ever spent?: | $5 | | Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?: | yes | | Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?: | yes | | Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?: | I don't really care | | Word Association | | Blue:: | Maui | | Camera:: | Picture | | Boy:: | Good | | Pretty:: | Smile | | Pants:: | Off | | Music:: | On | | God:: | Where? | | Sweater:: | Itchy | | Live Journal:: | Woohu is better | | MTV:: | Live | | Labels: | | Do you think labels are dumb?: | Sometimes | | Why or why not?: | Because sometimes they are correct, and sometimes not | | What do people label you as?: | Smart/Bitchy/bandgeekish | | How/Why did you get this label?: | Because I am | | Which Is Worse? | | Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?: | Emotional | | Blink-182/Good Charlotte?: | Blink | | Being Deaf/Being Blind?: | Deaf | | Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?: | Bored | | Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?: | Leg | | Love | | Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?: | Yes | | Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?: | Yes | | Are you romantic?: | In a dirty way | | Are you in a relationship now?: | Yes | | If so, for how long?: | A month and almost a week | | If not, how long have you been single?: | haven't been | | Are you a virgin?: | Yes | | What song describes your love life right now?: | Very very very good | | Ranomosity | | War: Good or Bad?: | Bad | | What do you think of designer labels?: | I can make it for less | | Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?: | Paris | | What is it with guys and cars?: | hehe...I don't know, but it's a good thing | | Do you sing?: | Alone | | If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?: | I don't know | | Kiss or hug?: | Both | | What color is your room?: | pink | | How old is your mom?: | 47 | | Black and white or color photos?: | Black and White | | Who cuts your hair?: | Me | | What color is your toothbrush?: | Purpe | | What color is your hair brush?: | Blue | | What kind of hair products do you use?: | Shampoo, Conditioner, deep conditioner, gel | | Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?: | Sure | | Are you sXe?: | Uhh, no? | | Are you sexy?: | Sure | | What color to people tells you looks nice on you?: | Pretty much all of them | | What color do you think looks nice on you?: | I don't care | | Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?: | Depends on if i'm pmsing or not | | Who do you sit with at lunch? | | Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?: | No | | Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?: | I don't know | | What is the website for one of your favorite bands?: | I don't do that kind of thing, i'm not a freak | | Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: | Older | | Do you listen to songs on repeat often?: | yes | | Who was the last person you hung out with?: | Rueben | | What did you and that person do?: | Umm...*cough* I don't remember | | Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?: | yes, unfortuneately | | How often do you bathe?: | every or every other day | | Are you a people-pleaser?: | yes | | Do you dye your hair regularly?: | no, never have | | What about your eyebrows?: | no | | Do you wear makeup?: | yes | | If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?: | I didn't | | Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: | I don't buy CD's | | Can you beatbox?: | No | | Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?: | I don't know, I haven't asked her recently |
100 Questions For Your Answering Pleasure! brought to you by BZOINK!
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 9 June :: 6.32pm
| Informationi | | m&ms487 is a restricted area. Authorised personel only |
From Go-Quiz.com
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 3 June :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: awake
So denied
So I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day
And a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing
To be had
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast
To all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name
On the line
Along with place and time
Wanna stay
Not to go
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast
To all those
Who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast
To all those who know me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
God I love that song so much.
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 3 June :: 4.47pm
No more school.
*jumps up and down gleefully*
Melting Pot
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*quietly* salad bowl
hehe
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 1 June :: 9.10pm
:: Mood: angry
I really shouldn't be like this. It's quite annoying. To me, to everyone. I don't want to screw all this up. I'm afraid of doing that, so terribly afraid.
Things were a little off today. Okay, a little more than a little off. Today went by SO fast, I don't know where it all went. The scary part is that I don't remember a lot of it. I was closed in, and I wasn't aware of the changing world around me. Sometimes that's good in high school, and yet, it reminds me of a while back. I've been doing a lot of thinking about that lately. Probably brought on my new found happiness and whatnot. I only know two things right now:
1. I never want to be like that again
2. It made me see the other side of things, the darker side of life
I remember waking up the morning after, I keep going back to that.
"We've got work to do"
I love that, "We". I was the only fucking person that did anything. It was my choice in the end, and you left it to me, I don't think you really realize how close I was. I said I wasn't, but I was, and now that I'm back from that, I can look back and forgive you, but I still don't know why you did what you did. I probably don't want to know. God damn it. I wanted out of my fucking life. Didn't that tell you something? I was really fucked up, and you did little more than nothing.
I want all this anger to run out of me, like blood from a wound, just run and pool at my feet and dry and be done with forever. I don't want it anymore. Maybe it's the anger that keeps me going sometimes, but right now it just makes me want to cry. It's getting in the fucking way of everything. I'm letting it, wait, no, I have no control over it.
I think I need an attitude adjustment.
Blah Blah Blah.
School's almost done with. Thank god. I don't think I could stand another week of all that shit. Everyone going behind each other's backs, the pettiness, god, and I hate it when I realize that I did it too.
I only saw it until i was on the outside looking in. Two god damn more years. I'm ready to be out already, hopefully this summer will provide temporary relief, and then i can spend my last years superficially, everything hurts a bit less that way, when it's superficial. It's easier to swallow, to digest. I hate to be the one to look on and past what goes on, but I realize it now more than ever that I can't change it. No one can. They'll do what they do until they change. I hate that. Seeing people waste their live's away, not doing anything. I don't think they're lazy, I think they're scared to live. Even possibly exist. I was once, I know that. But I hid inside myself, they hide behind sex, and drugs, and alcohol, and their petty gossip, and $70 pairs of jeans and high heeled shoes and slutty tanktops and thongs that they know everyone sees because they don't know how else to get the attention. The stupidity, the whiny helplessness. This is where they become real people. These are real people. I AM a real person. I don't appreciate being treated like a damn 13 year old. And you know, it's not the authority's fault, it's my "peers" because they fucking act like it. They're hiding, they don't know how to come out, when they don't realize that all they have to do is take that step. All you have to do is trust yourself and defend yourself, no matter what you think. That's the only kind of respect that's worth receiving. That's the only kind of respect that will stick to you. And that's all what we're looking for in life, isn't it? Respect. It's what we've been starved of our whole lives, that's what causes rebellion, the drugs, the sex. If only we had a little respect, that's what they say. Well, you know how you get respect? You earn it. You earn it from people your respect, people who's idea's count. People who could take you somewhere in life, or better yet, people who YOU could take somewhere in life.
Enough bitching for now. The pool has collected on the floor.
-michelle-
3 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 31 May :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Eve 6- Here's to the night
I wish I hadn't been thinking about that. It brought my whole day down, until you came, that is.
I kept going over all those times in my head. Especially the day after. How you made me cry like that for hours, how, in asking for help, I isolated myself from you. I should be mad at you for that, and I was, but I realize now more than ever, that you are just a person, a fragile person, and I will be stronger from this, and you will just keep on ignoring it, like you did from the beginning. But I'm better now. It's still there, I know, like today, was bad. I wanted to, but yet, I knew that it would make everything harder, a lot harder, and I didn't want to do that. Maybe it was just the day, i hope so. I've been so happy...so very happy, indescribably happy for the past few weeks.
Just go away and leave me be,
I'm happy, so be happy for me.
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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