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m&ms487
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2004 8 April :: 6.40pm
I went shopping today with my mother and grandma. Oh boy. It was fun. And we went to the empire buffet for lunch. Good stuff.
We also went to a book store. My mom and i looked at sex books together. Well, they called it the "gender studies" section. Sure. It's gender studies when you have books titled "Bondage: A complete Explainatory Guide with Photographs", "Seductresses throughout History: 7 famous seductresses", oh, and of course my FAVORITE "A Women's Guide: The Joys of Anal Sex".
We didn't look at those.....
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 6 April :: 8.19pm
Me and lovely anne dear having a discussion
my favorite mistake says:
are they like, compulsive morons?
There wouldn't be a sky full of stars if we were all meant to wish on the same one says:
umm, no, americans
my favorite mistake says:
heh, same difference
2 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 1 April :: 9.15pm
:: Mood: content
Well, yesterday i finally got everything cleared up with me and zac. We're friends now. Which is good. At least i KNOW now.
The talent show was a tad boring today. The best part was at the end when FUZZY LOGIC played 'sweet home alabama'. Jacqui, Katie, and myself danced at the top of the bleachers until 2:06. It was quite enjoyable.
FYI: I'll be getting a picture of that damn pelican soon.
That makes me happy.
-michelle-
4 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 29 March :: 6.48pm
:: Music: Blowin' in the wind- Peter, Paul, and Mary
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind
How long can I live like this? I'm not sure. I've been fighting for so long, and it's moments like this that I just want to give up. Pack everything up. Cut my losses. Go home.
If there is a place like that. I don't think I've ever been in a place that's felt like home. Not even my house. My house is strange. I feel like a stranger in it sometimes. I'm just drifting in and out, not really doing anything. My room seems strange sometimes. Like it's not really mine, like I don't sleep there every single night, and wake up there every single morning. Sometimes it just feels like I don't belong anywhere. I'm just drifting from place to place with nothing tangible to hang onto. It's frightening, sometimes, to not belong. To be feel like you're a stranger, even to your own thoughts. I just get tired of it sometimes. Tired of not really knowing anyone, except for maybe Jessie. I was so close today, but I didn't. I don't know why. I think I'm living on broken promises and borrowed time. It seems like it, at least.
-michelle-
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m&ms487
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2004 27 March :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: dirty
I went to SOLO ENSEMBLE TODAY
-michelle went to state solo ensemble today-
michelle got a division I.
hehe. i'm happy now.
dani and fred got twos, but they are also in a harder proficiency than me. i didn't get to watch them either.
the judge was sorta mean, but oh well. i got a one. that's all that matters.
11 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
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m&ms487
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2004 26 March :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: confused
I have a lot going on right now. I've been on the edge all week. It's hell.
I have solo ensemble tomorrow. State. I'm scared to death. I don't mind the sight reading part, or the scales, I just hate my solo. I hate it a lot. I think the only reason I hate it is because it's my solo. Probably. Oh well.
I guess he doesn't like me now. I can live with that. It'll take a while, but I'll deal. I always do........
About that whole "other" thing. Yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about. I don't even have to say it. As far as I'm concerned, everyone will eventually move on. And we all learned a few things. It will take time before things are back to anywhere near where they were. I think you need to know that, instead of just pretending that everything's ok. It's not. At least not between the four of us.
Jessies coming with me tomorrow. That makes me extremely happy. She'll keep me from having a nervous break down, which I am on the brink of. Lucky me.
-michelle-
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m&ms487
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2004 21 March :: 9.06pm
| What makes you laugh?: | When someone says/ does something funny, or when I think of my past (mostly middle school) | | Who is your hero?: | Me | | Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?: | I...wouldn't. I like to have free movement of all of my limbs at times of my choosing. | | How many pairs of shoes do you own?: | 8 | | Seriously... Where does the other sock end up?: | The dryer monster a.k.a under my bed | | Who do you blame for your mood today?: | My parents. They have serious mental retardation issues. | | If the Internet were sex... I would: | Lick it, a lot. And do it over, and over, and over and over and over..you get the point. | | Have you ever seen a dead body?: | Yes. A few. | | What is something scientists need to invent?: | A cure for AIDS | | What should we do with stupid people?: | Shoot them in the head. Over and over. Many times. | | Have you ever broken a bone?: | No | | Do you watch local news? Why?: | Yes, because they're stupid, and I laugh at the "diversity" reports because they are so hypocritical | | What happens after you die?: | You're buried. Or they burn you. Or you're left to decompose in a spot of your choice. | | How big is your bed? Big enough?: | No, not big enough. I have a twin. It's small. Any boyfriend of mine will have to have AT LEAST a double. :) | | How long do you think you will live?: | Until I die. |
Random Thought Provokers brought to you by BZOINK!
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m&ms487
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2004 21 March :: 8.53pm
:: Mood: annoyed
I know you're out there somewhere. And I'm here. Typing this, waiting for you.
How pathetic am I?
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m&ms487
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2004 19 March :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: calm
I was thinking about it last night. About Florida. About everything that has happened since then. When all of us got on that bus, we didn't know what would happen. We all had our expectations, our goals, of course, but what ended up happening was absolutely nothing of what we could expect. And how irevricably that has changed us, i can't even imagine. We are not the same people. Although we all came back, and for the past month we've been doing what we've always done. Wake up early, classes, jobs, friends, activities. But Florida gave us all a chance to be with people who we normally wouldn't have. To really got to know a lot about each other.
We did things that we loved, we did things that others don't even know about, and better yet, we learned what our actions can do, without anyone to tell us otherwise. Whether it was a good thing, or a bad thing (and i'm not just talking about my personal experience here, either) we still got to do it on our own. Our own choices. I think that's what has made the greatest difference.
But, now that we are back here, it's all gone away, almost as if everything that has happened cannot be spoken of, or acknowledged. We were different people, then, not influenced by the factors that are here. No matter how shallow that sounds, it's true.
I saw the truest nature of people when we were in Florida. It made me form new opinions and ideas. I loved it. But now we are back, and we are doing what we always do. My point? Don't get stuck in the everyday routine. You are a product of your environment. Perhaps, you don't even know who you are, only because you've been in one environment for so long. Change things up a little. Talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to. Enjoy it. Enjoy people. They are your future, they are your life. They are your influence, they are the people that will one day make the food you eat, the chairs you sit in, and the toliet paper you'll wipe your ass with.
Only the shallowness and unwillinglyness of humanity to change will be it's ugliness and sole downfall. Don't let it happen to you.
13 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
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m&ms487
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2004 16 March :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: confused
Sometimes I wonder what your intentions are,
I just want to ask you, "What the hell were you thinking?"
Because then I would know for sure,
And I wouldn't have to keep guessing.
If you came out and told me the story,
I wouldn't have to fill in the parts,
And make metaphors and big words,
To fill inbetween the lines.
So why don't I just ask you,
Exactly what you want,
Because I'm afraid if I ask you,
You'll be just as undecided as me.
2 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 15 March :: 5.44pm
EVERYONE,
I don't know if you all know, but Gunny was really really close to shutting down woohu. I don't blame him. Thank goodness he has decided otherwise, but now i want all your wonderful people's help. I would really like to have some people make donations. I don't care if you want to give me a bag of pop bottles, I'll take care of it for you, and send him the money. Tonight I'm cleaning out my room for all the spare change and everything, so don't think I'm not doing anything. Anyway, I know how all you people love your journals SO much. So, please, even if it's only a dollar, it would really help. Thank you all so much!
--michelle--
p.s. If you want to send him some money, the address for his P.O. box is on his contact page. Thank you!
1 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one |
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m&ms487
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2004 14 March :: 11.50am
The play is over with. I miss everyone already. We have strike today at two. It should be fun.
On another note, I've been waiting to say this, hoping it wasn't true, but i realized that night that it was...
You really need to get your head out of your fucking ass. You didn't realize how much I put myself out there for you, and now, there is nothing. But you don't even realize it, because you're too fucking afraid. I guess it never meant anything at all, none of it. I guess it's just wasted time now. All of it.
And you, you have no RIGHT to treat her like you do. You don't realize what she's like. You need to die. Right now, because after what you did, that's all you deserve. Go fuck yourself, in the ass preferrably.
8 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
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m&ms487
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2004 13 March :: 3.44pm
Yesterday was one of those days. You know you'll never have a day close to it whatsoever. It was tiring, but it was fun. It made me see a few people in a whole different way.
I love acting. I really do. I love being on stage, and the energy from the crowd...you have no idea.
It's like paradise.
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. ~Bill Vaughn
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 10 March :: 12.24pm
I know I can do so much better than this, but really, what's the point of life if you can't be superficial SOMETIMES?..........
Yeah, so today was a half day of school.
Woohu.
I got six hours of sleep last night.
We had dress rehearsal for THE JUNGLE BOOK
(showing thursday, friday, and saturday 7:30pm in the high school auditorium, tickets are $7 and can be bought at the door, there, i did my shameless self promotion).
I was in full costume/make up, well, everyone was, but that's not the point...
So, i'm a wolf, and i can garuntee you my hair color isn't normally found in nature (I'm just a genetic mishap....), so we had to "dust" my hair with hair color.
It was suppose to wash out.
It took me an hour to wash it out last night.
I shampooed at least 5 times.
It was hell. And you can still sorta see where it's dark, that's why i wore my hair down today.
Sacrifices, Sacrifices.
Wind ensemble and Concert band is going to STATE festival. Woohu.
I love the music that we got...it's so great.
Anyway, i have another 5 hours before i have to go back to school, for another dress rehearsal, but this time, we get to have old people from METRON as our audience.....
I hope none of them have heart attacks during our play...and if you come to see THE JUNGLE BOOK, you'll see why i say that :).
Until then,
good bye.
2 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
Dos wants to talk to the wise BeefToad
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m&ms487
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2004 8 March :: 6.51pm
:: Mood: cold
My bad day, that didn't seem that bad until i thought of all the things that happened, and now i know why i feel like crying.
This is all getting VERY frustrating for me. Today was not a very good day. Not at all.
I was in a bad mood third hour and almost cried.
I didn't finish my outline for english, and we had to write an in class essay from it, as part of our test. The outline was also a grade. I made up so much shit......
It doesn't seem like i can talk to *person* anymore...all they do is ignore me.....or at least it seems like it.
Jessie is having a really rough day.
All the sudden in sixth hour my eye started hurting, and it's swelling up, and i have no idea whats going on, only that it hurts.
At lunch, everyone piled their trays on Baylee's because she was going on a trash run, and a cup of pop spilled on the table and got my pants and my sweatshirt all wet. My sweatshirt is still sticky.
I was talking to someone, and I told them some things against my better judgement...
Well, they told me some things too, so i guess it'll be ok.
I just want to go cuddle with some one and cry right now.....
really, i do.
eh.
-michelle.
3 human seeks knowledge from the beefy one(thats a couple of people) |
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