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2003 10 November :: 9.54 pm
:: Mood: calm
Bed time..ZzzzZzzzZ..
Im off to bed now..these days bed is the only place where i feel safe..safe from all of you out there..i wish dat seriously i could jus lay down n sleep forever..i would be in such bliss..sleepin is the only place where i can be completly happy and nobody can say anything about it..nobody can talk shit..nobody will ever know wats going on in dat lil o' head of mine cept me..i like my life dat way..
I wish i could jus become a mute..wif no voice..no emotions..dat would be wonderful..too bad eh?
Omfg t day i was tryin soo f'ing hard to be happy, and ya knw wat someone *one of my kinda good friends* asked me?! What guy i fucked last nite?! OHHH I SWEAR I WAS BOUT TO FUCKIN KILL HER!! Like im some kind of whore or some shit..too bad Becky Dawn was there..*and mr mcdowell* i would have seriously fuckin killed her slutty ass! Shes more slutty den me!! urgh i fuckin hate ppl at our skool..how fuckin imature..den after dat she went round skool,sayin dat she was bout to fite me but i backed down, yah my ass dats why she was da one fuckin hiding behind mr mcdowell..urgh!!!
hey at least i made someones day semi better..not dat i really did it cuz it was all her..but ya know..
J d shortier 623: howdy:-)
BlondieC93: hey i took ur advice and i tried to hav a good day
J d shortier 623: really?!
J d shortier 623: wat happeend?1
BlondieC93: i had a bad morning an awesome mid mornin/ afternoon AND A HORRIBLE AFTERNOON i found out dat my boyfriend david like(d) some else and yea it was 1 big mess but i was calm and i thought wut wuld jill want me to do in this situtaion ((and i thought well duh whtevr would make me happy)) and so i wrote david i note saying tht i still wanted to go out wit him ((AND WE STILL ARE)) but it wuld take a lot of convincin 4 me to belive he doesnt like her anymore and we wuld try to still hav a realtionship
BlondieC93: but yea tht was pretty much it and i gtg now cuz i gotta wake up early and i read ur journal and im sry u had a bad day and whenevr ur feeling sad and tht kno one loves u remember this:: CHELSIE LOVES YOU!!!!!!
HOPE U HAV A AWSUM DAY TOMMOROW LUV YA LOTZ
BlondieC93 signed off at 9:30:06 PM.
In only 5 minutes of time..she made me feel alotta better t day..and im sure she really didnt even mean to..geesh if only 5 minutes werent sucha long time..Im not even good enough fo 5 minutes from da rest of ya?
wateva im gong to bed now bye!
1 And i fall in love again. |
Then i see your face |
::
2003 10 November :: 8.42 pm
:: Music: Damn--youngbloodz! *sings*
*If you dont give a damn, we dont give a fuck!*
I wish that fo one day..i could stand up straight, hold my head up high, and look everyone in the eye..
AND TELL EM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND GET A FUCKIN LIFE!!
Im soo fuckin sick of ppl talkin shit, like seriously, why cant we either *all get along* or jus leave eachother *the fuck alone* Wat is soo hard bout dat?!
One day, im gonna be outta here..one day ill be living somewhere soo much better than here..and im gonna look bak on these days, while i was sittin here wasting my life away depressing over every lil thing, and im jus gonna laugh, and move on wif my life, and forget about all of these things dat have happened, and everything will be happily ever after.. =)
Yah fuckin rite..like dat will ever fuckin happen! I dont care anymore..theres nuffin to care bout anymore..
If i were to jus lay down n die the most painful death rite now, this very second, it would be better than the pain im endearing rite now..i fuckin hate this..i feel like my head is bout to explode..i cant stop like thinkin bout everything, like im seriously goign crazy..within my head..and everyone around me jus thinks dat everything is perfect and nobody will believe me dat inside im DIEING, and its driving me even more nuts! And i cant take this anymore..im crying on the inside, and its killing me..
I need thee, where art tho in thy time of despair? *shakespere* Amazin man rite there..its funny how he can take words from hundreds of years ago, and they can be da ones i need to say to you rite now..
I will miss wat we once had..but ill take another breath, ill live another day..
at least i hope..
Then i see your face |
::
2003 10 November :: 3.26 pm
Yay t day..was absolutly..SHITTY! *sigh* =(
i unno it was okay at some points..but now its jus like blah..i had alotta fun wif Gloria and ex Becky Dawn t day!!
But as soon i get home..and my mom is all rude n shit..and den like yah something else..well geesh there goes my good mood..*watches it fly rite out da window* I unno..
Im not going out to dinner wif my family now..I hate all of em! They all need to seriously jus *accidently* die..cept megan she was there fo me last nite when i was crying she hugged me and like we talked fo a lil bit den she had to leave to go pick up adam but ya know it was still kool of her..Either im going to jus go wif James n a lil bit..or im jus gonna go lay down n sleep..until 2marro..or maybe da next day..maybe i could jus go to bed n never wake up again..
Then i see your face |
::
2003 9 November :: 9.11 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Soo yesterday..lizzie mcguire!! HELL YAH!!
Hehe nothing really happened t day..i didnt tell britt dat i was wif brittney t day..hmm im gonna call her so maybe ill tell her den..not dat its a big deal anyway..but still i unno..
I luv brittany soo much! Shes soo friggin awesome! And sooo friggin sweet! I cant believ eim still bestest friends wif her i luv her soo much! hehe!
I also luv my mikey!! Hes so sweet!! Me n my gramz had a talk but him t nite when she called..she said dat he sounded like an awesome dude and shes glad dat i found a good enough guy fo me..shes soo sweet i luv dat lady!! Hehe But den she said something bout askin him if he wanted to go to florida wif me dis winter vaca..n im like uhm well yah ill bring it up..HAH YEAH RITE..we prolly wont even go out dat long =( I unno i jus love dat lady..and she brought up somethng else really awesoem!! Hehe! I luv her! I unno
Lets see nuffin happened t day! Latah everyone!
me..
Then i see your face |
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2003 7 November :: 10.05 pm
23 hugs t day! WOo HOo!!
Hehe yah dats rite i didnt do anythign cept go to work and had a few ppl over, but i still got 23 hugs! hehe i luv hugs it makes ppl and myself feel soo much better! heh =)
No britters again t day..ahh oh well..now ill jus have to miss her until maybe 2marro nite? I unno..cuz ive gotta go to work at like 9 and im sure i wont talk wif her den..and i cant call her t nite..oh well..i luv you britters..hope ur havin a great weekend!! hehe luv you!!
I dont know not too much happened t day..me n britt were surrposed to get married t day..i unno if we did or not but oh well hehe i luv her! =) mwaha!
Well im off to bed fo now..cuz like yah 1. Bored 2. ppl r being really gay..n bringin *negative* to my *positive* world mwaha.. 3. No britters 4. Tired..*Snores*5. Gotta wake up early heh =)
Well ill write more 2marro! Much luv to everyone!
Me n Monika's sayin *Dat i made up!!!* *Give hugs not hate* mwahah!
I luv all of you!! Latah..
Love,
me..
Then i see your face |
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