christmas is coming; yay?
college needs to be paid for today, need to go setup a checking account.
the jeep is rusting.
hate using woohu to just complain about my life; there is much to complain about
there is so much good to; lots of good
scool starts in january
jeep still runs
i have work; although its not the best
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miss my friends
don't see lizzy or rache enough
wish i had more weekends off to hang out with them.
havn't hung out with anyone but box and justin in awhile :(
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
still hungry; for food, for adventure, to live on my own.
I wanted snow, and now it is in the way of going to visit mike. the irony these days just gets stronger and stronger.
Day trip to Navy pier after i get out of math... well, actually leave math early to catch the train ect, ect. but i will be doing a wonderful photo project on the smith collection of stained glass, and see how well we can rush about chicago, so then i won't have to worry about getting back to kenosha at like midnight. sigh....
somedays it's just fuck it all, and i want to run run run.
and i should re-do my layout on here... the damn snow patrol bit is just so old now.
a whole lotta messed up
so, i saw my man today... drove across the state when i should have been doing an essay that is due in 3 hours. It was good, at first. Then less so, and now worse. I am married and i still feel like a rag doll, that just makes me feel all sorts of fucked up. I try to be happy, and yet i still feel down... I wish i could explain it all to mike, but at this point i am not convinced it will ever matter.
just throw on a mental bandage once again, and hope that i forget... although that hasn't been working so well as of late... seeing as past bandaids are falling off and i can't help but be overwhelmed by the past. ugh.
Scratch recent posts. We're probably not going to have anyone over tomorrow. We're just going to go out for dinner and then relax with Brody instead. Sorry guys. Maybe New Years Eve though...?
Well I know, I miss more than hit
With a face that was launched to sink
An' I seldom feel, the bright relief
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday
If there's one thing I have said
Is that the dreams I once had, now lay in bed
As the four winds blow, my wits through the door
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday
Fallin' down to you sweet ground
Where the flowers they bloom
It's there I'll be found
Hurry back to me, my wild Colleen
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday
Though these wounds have seen no wars
Except for the scars I have ignored
And this endless crutch, well it's never enough
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday
Hell says hello, well it's time to I should go
To pastures green, that I've yet to see
Hurry back to me, my wild Colleen
It's been the Worst Day Since Yesterday
It is always nice to have one place that is pretty well private. I feel awful that I try to hangout with my friends and just leave because i feel like a wallflower. It makes me want to relive novels, and suck into my own world. But, I have 2 weeks until school finishes up for the semester. Mike will be coming home, and its about time because i need some sweet lovin. Time waits for no one and i have to keep pushing through the next few weeks until the break comes. Not that i want to go back to CS for anything, but at least it will be plenty of time with Mike. *sigh*
Ready to sleep, and have dreams of a day approaching quickly. I need to expand my music library, and my book collection. I have years and years, but I would like so much to know it all now. Oh well, back to reality.
EDIT: Correction. I suffer from insomnia. Included in my package deal is anxiety and obsessive compulsive tendencies. This results in rumination. The end result of which is a mild and random psychosis.
Agoraphobia
Social anxiety disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
