God Called In Sick Today

1 Blood Stain | Trail of blood...

:: 2007 4 March :: 11.32pm

Two pills just weren't enough.
The alarm clock's going off but you're not waking up.
This isn't happening.
It is.

:: 2007 4 March :: 10.31pm

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

:: 2007 28 February :: 9.22pm

This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her but you don't.
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

I spent two weeks in Silverlake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks
And she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Yeah she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

Wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that i was telling
And all the playful misspellings
And every bite i gave you left a mark

Tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did i that day

All i see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "was something wrong?"
That i think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now.
No, we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

3 Blood Stains | Trail of blood...

:: 2007 28 February :: 10.34pm

94 days. I can do this.

I just want Nick.

:: 2007 28 February :: 8.47am

Hey.

People were right, after three weeks, this thing is so easy. I still want to go home sometimes but it doesn't hurt as much.

Today is a good day. Nick got a job, my 8 o'clock class was cancelled and my 11 o'clock might be cancelled too. I am tired but happy.

I think I can do this. Only three more months.

1 Blood Stain | Trail of blood...

holiday

:: 2007 23 February :: 5.09pm

I'm just having a really good day.
Caleb is one of my biggest joys. Every day I look at him and think about how lucky I am. He is so much fun. I love watching him learn. He's smiling and laughing and creeping around, trying to roll over. The other night I put him to bed, head to the left, feet on the right. Charlie got up with him in the morning and there he was, smiling, feet on the left, head on the right. It makes me smile everytime I think about it. He's the sweetest baby I've ever seen. I just can't believe how much I love him. I knew I'd love him, but I can't believe how much. And I love Charlie. We're having so much fun together. This is so great. I love our family. Oh my gosh I love our family. I love where we live, I love my son, I love my husband, I love my friends, I love that school is almost over, I love my family of course.

Okay, sorry that was so full of love, not my typical entry, lol. Hormones? Possibly.

:: 2007 22 February :: 12.40pm

Amsterdam was awesome. I want to live there or at tleast go back.

London is alright. It has a different vibe than the rest of Europe. I don't know.

Getting re-used to the keyboard is a pain.

Nick I am online and you aren't. Oh but I just realised that it is almost 8 there. ha ha that is why.

Stupid time difference.

Anyway, having fun, going to a musical tonight.

I love you.

2 Blood Stains | Trail of blood...

:: 2007 15 February :: 11.02am

My parents are adorable.

I talked to my mom and dad yesterday. I mentioned to them both that I am usually on msn messenger after dinner so my mom got a hotmail account and had my sister teach her how to use it.

AND THEN my mom offered to buy Nick Vonage so he could call me.

AND THEN my dad said that after he goes to China and everything, he'll stop by and see me. Like Europe is down the street from Taiwan.

I love them.

:: 2007 14 February :: 10.56pm

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

2 Blood Stains | Trail of blood...

:: 2007 14 February :: 9.05pm

I am pretty sure France is trying to kill me.

So far,

I have almost gotten hit by billions of cars (that is sort of my fault as I pull the European and just walk out in the middle of traffic).

I fell down on the bus and now have massive zombie rot on my leg/thigh (so massive that I cannot lay on that side of my body).

I just almost fell out of the 24 yr old's bedroom window (He left his shutters open when he left and it is really windy so I went to shut them. I grabbed one and I sort of left it there and went to stuggle with the other shutter which the wind had an excellent hold of. In my stuggle, I leaned out to get better leverage on the left shutter and the right one swung around and hit me in the arm. Another bruise.)

Maybe the right side of my body is just not meshing well with France.

Anyway, I love you.

:: 2007 14 February :: 8.55am

Well our first class was cancelled which means I got up at 6 to take the bus at 7 for NO REASON. We don't have class until 10.

The weather here is awesome. It rained the other day but then cleared up and was beautiful.

I love you all.

:: 2007 12 February :: 9.31pm

I found a letter that said:
"I'm sorry that you were asleep when I wrote these words down,"
You'd think I'd ought to be used to that by now.
Save for a few of those late night episodes,
Missed opportunities, and "I Don't Cares,"
There's not a lot that I feel obliged to share or talk about.

I'll have my brother stop by this Saturday to pick up my things,
Just make sure you're not there.
This may sound bad, and don't take it the wrong way..
I love you, however,
You hold me down [x4]

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
How will I break the news to you? [x2]

Cancel our dinner with Max and Coraline,
feed Jacky's gerbil and try to stay clean.
We'll talk it over after I've had some time alone to sort it out.
You hold me down [x4]

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love..
How will I break the news to you? [x5]

Here are some videos also.

:: 2007 11 February :: 11.25pm

3 Blood Stains | Trail of blood...

1 Blood Stain | Trail of blood...

:: 2007 11 February :: 11.03pm

I am slowly getting pictures up. I remembered that I have a flikr account.

I am getting tired of naming them. Here they are. I am going to bed soon so I am stopping for the night.

:: 2007 11 February :: 9.49pm
:: Music: Take Your Medicine by Cloud Cult

You can take it in stride or you can take in right between your eyes
Cloud Cult released a new album! First priority (after chili dogs, cheesecakes and mad makeouts with Nick) once I get back. I hope not all that stuff happens on the same day because I am getting bloaty just thinking about it. Gross.

Anyway, you can stream some songs off their website so that is what I am doing to distract myself from my 8 o'clock class tomorrow (which requires me to get up at 6 and catch the bus at 7:03).