I haven't been on woohu in months. I read a few pages back in my friend's pages and oh my dear God.. I feel like I've been gone a century, not just from woohu, but from all of your lives. I feel like I'm a million miles away. But I guess I am pretty far. Even a different state would make a difference. But here I am across the ocean, on another continent, in a country many of you know very little about, experiencing things most of you could never know. I am living another life here. Each of you are living another life there, even from each other. You're all friends, you all influence each other, intertwine each other in your lives, but you've all got separate worries, thoughts, problems.. I used to know what was going on. I guess the appropriate phrase is I feel "out of the loop." I'm not upset about it, it just really hit me now. I have friends, family, school here, everything I have in the USA, and my mind is consumed in them. My mind is in Poland and my life here. Coming to woohu right now and reading about all of you with boy/girl problems, school stresses, family frustrations, good parties, great nights out with friends, getting drunk.. your minds are consumed in your lives. Maybe all I'm saying is that life goes on, whether you're there or not. People keep changing, or maybe they keep up to their old habits, but whatever happens, nothing stops. When I get back to the states you guys may have partially forgotten about me. It's understandable. As far as you know, I hardly exist. I'm not around, you don't hear from me, you just simply know that I'm in Poland. And you might read my brief sugar-coated articles in the paper. It's just strange. All of my friends are living their lives and I'm not a part of them anymore. I'm living my life and none of you are a part of it.

It makes me wonder. When I come back, will we still be an ocean a part? Will things go back to being the same? I don't think so. I used to think 10 months wasn't very long, but really it is. We're all growing up. Should I work to read woohu, talk to people on msn, email frequently? Or should I stay focused on my life here that I'll be leaving in five months? But then again, I will never really leave this life. I'm going to be traveling constantly because the friends I've made here are the real ones that I can't fully leave. And when I get back to the states, I'm going to be there for a summer and then it's off to college. The closest there's a chance of me being is a few hours away in Alma, MI. But my hope is to be on the east coast in Boston or New York. I'm not trying to decide if I should stay in touch with all of you or not, because that's rediculous. I will stay in touch with those who I'm meant to, and I will drift with others. It's just life and I'm fine with that. Though it is hard to leave the people you care about so much.

Now I think I'm digressing. I was just struck by the strangeness of reading how all of your lives had progressed and for once not being a part of it, not being the listener or a prominent person in the "group." I feel like someone watching through the window, merely an outsider.

It's different, but it's not bad. I actually think I like it. I like my life and what I'm doing and what I plan to do. It probably will never involve Cedar Springs or even Grand Rapids very much ever again in my life, though. So drop me a line sometime and let me know how your life is and I'll let you know how mine is. It's nice to catch up with the people who used to be so involved in your life.

4 Blood Stains | Trail of blood...