so i'm bored. there is nothing to do. i'll probably go to ritz tonight to pick up some photo paper and film. then to mayfair tomorrow for hypo check, new developing tank and probably more film. probably will go to barnes and noble tonight also for some new books to read. blah, i remembered that ritz is at lakeside, which sucks because i dislike malls, along with most of the people there. oh well, i need photo stuff bad though. i hate when i keep remembering what i need. like filters and such. more money. i started working on my darkroom in my basement. lots of work. oh yeah, and my uncle is giving me more photo stuff. another enlarger. more chemicals, stuff like that. living at 22 mile kinda sucks. my only friend lives across the street, which is good, but he's gone right now. he graduates this year, so next year is going to suck. i'm still single...yay! [sarcasm/]




It’s official, I’m helpless a hopeless romantic
It’s official, I’m helpless a hopeless romantic

so its christmas. different from most days because i actually attempt to talk to people and try to act cheerful. woke up at 6. made coffee, fell asleep on the couch til my brother woke me up. drank coffee. opened presents. got things i wanted. books, coffee, money, stuff for my camera, and cds. christmas time and new years always makes me feel the most lonely. so what does/did eric want for christmas?
i wouldn't mind having a girlfriend or even just a really good female friend that i could talk to. i sound like a huge loser. come downstairs with a girl under the tree with a bow. a girl who likes photography, who has faith. who doesn't drink or smoke. who believes in me, even though i don't even believe in me. who understands me. who i understand. who i can be myself with. i hate this. now i sound like scrooge and shit.

so i drove to grosse point to take pictures. it was cold. i felt weird. i suck at trying to talk with girls, horribly. that went bad. drove home feeling like an ass when i really didn't do anything wrong, but hey, thats me for you. sulked into my house, went in my room for a while and pondered why i suck at relationships. prayed that i won't be alone my whole life. listened to more stuff by the honorary title. felt better. made fun of myself to me in the mirror. this is what you do when you have no friends/your only friend goes on vacation. drove around listening to every time i die to clear my head and here i am. that made no sense. oh yeah, i cut my hair again. its cold, and my hair is short. i like it though. i want to make a name for myself, in a good way though. i don't want everyone to always be like "you're that guy that hangs around with/runs with pete loy" i want people to remember me for something. i'm tired of being anynomous. the more i talk to corey the more i wish i wasn't so single. it gets boring talking to yourself about everything. that and doing stuff with someone other than your male friend(s).








I can't find a word to speak.
If I could I'd talk so good that you would be with me.
I am cold, too cool to call you.
I'll write this song to win your kiss but stay asleep instead.