:: 2005 30 March :: 1.14 pm

Had a bad day again.

I think ill leave. Yes. Im leaving right now


Love,
Brianna

3 <3 | Love

:: 2005 29 March :: 11.42 am

GAH IM SO SICK OF SCHOOL!

Just so everybody knows, they dont have to read my journal if they think im being whiney, cos i know that i am. But this is a *journal* where i can *vent*whatever, to whomever chooses to read it. *just so everybody knows* No more little anonymous comments. If you have a problem with what im saying, then stop, think to yourself and ask yourself why are you wasting your time reading this?...Ponder ponder ponder.

Im in Mr. Youngs class right now. Im totally clueless on what to do for our speech but meh. I'll figure it out. So yeah last night was , better then i expected it to be. I was having a bad day, dan was having a bad day, just.. blah. So he came over and i could tell he was being pissy as i was too. We got over it and just relaxed.


Yesterday After school me and my momma went to go get heather. She came over and yeah thats right i hooked her up with a guy. Actually my ex boyfriends friend but hey, its all gravy baby :) His name is chad, hes a firefighter for sparta and hes 19. Hes such a sweetie and there both head over heels for each other. *sigh* its great

so the ole 4 month is coming around. Its so crazy how fast time is flying by. Its like im not even having any time to savior and treasure with my friends and with dan. Geez.

Is it bad if one of my ex boyfriends keeps calling and calling? i know ABSOLUTELY nothing will come from this, but i start to feel bad when i ignore his calls. Does that make me a bad person or am i just doing the right thing. Dan doesnt know or i think he'd flip.. wait yeah. he would.
Well im having a really, really , really bad dayso off i go.


I love everybody lots! Especially you though ;)
Muuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh




Oh and i love will because he has a huge penis. lol dont ask.




SOMEBODY COMMENT ON MY FRIGGEN POEM!!!

3 <3 | Love

:: 2005 28 March :: 2.08 pm

Why are girls so stupid? Really. Some girls really have nothing better to do then get on each others cases. And write anonymous little remarks in peoples journals just to feel special because there too coward to sign their own name.I say mind your own damn business and get your own life. If somebody doesn’t like somebody you don’t have any right what so ever to bitch them out. You really don’t its an opinion and im allowed to have my own without someone getting on my case for expressing it. This is a journal. One that lets you speak your mind whether it’s a good day or a bad day. Reguardless, IM ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS TOO!!!!!!!!

Moving on. Dan is having a bad day. I called him at lunch and he is just so grumpy. He has his days like this so im just going to blow off our plans for tonight. Jenna, this means we are hanging out cos I have absolutely nothing else to do!!!!

SO somebody PLEASE tell me how their easter was. I love easter!!!

Easter, It was …. Actually really great! I woke up around 6 to get ready for church. (yeah I pulled it off) dan beeped me around 7:30 telling me we don’t have to leave now until 9. Ugh I was furious. But he came over early to “approve of my look” or so he says. We went to church with him mom and lisa. I couldn’t believe it. He started to fall asleep. He actually tried pulling it off. Haha. Fantastic. I met his Grandma. His family rocks. Everyone of them is so… leave it to beaver if you know what im saying. Haha. SO after church we went back to dans house and ate breakfast. Me and dan fell asleep on his couch, woke up around 4. then went to my house. It was such a lazy day. I just didn’t feel like doing anything at all. Ever have those days. *sigh* ehh then we went to my house and watched the incredibles. That movie cracks me up.

I wonder. Just wondering about all of my old friend from like 2nd grade up until just last year. Ive gone through so many friends its disgusting. Now I see some of them in the halls and nothing, not even a smile passes each other. Its not like were enemies, were just…different. We grow out of each other. Out with the old and in with the new…Hmm. Its just sad because some of my old best friends, are even in some of my classes and we talk maybe once every month. Wow.

So dan wrote me this poem. Its so darling. He gave it to me and I got that goofy smile on my face and just…..ahh I wanted to cry. I think that I did. Here it goes.

January 9th
It all came true
Didn’t take long
For me to love you

Time it has took,
Time is the key
To develop a relationship
THAT ALWAYS WILL BE

Important enough
To fight for and die
I’ll always be yours
Forever ill try

To be the one
The one that you need
Learning to do that
Is like learning to read

You practice and practice
Book after book
Then you sit back
And see the time it has took

The ups and the downs
The highs and the lows
I’ll love you forever
And that’s how it goes!


Yeah. Its pretty cute. Mrs. Hansen is yelling at the class so ive gotta go.

Brianna <3

9 <3 | Love

:: 2005 24 March :: 1.42 pm

Fantastic. Thats all i need right now is to hear more bull*hit. Thats really puttin the icing on my cake. What do i have to do to get the truth out of everybody!?!? I dont care if they talk! I DONT CARE AT ALL!!! UGH. i just want the truth.

Love

:: 2005 23 March :: 1.49 pm

-So yeah, here I am … once again in Hansen’s class with absolutely nothing to do. What a day this has been.


Ugh. First hour we had this debate thing and I guess I get kinda rough when somebody says something that I don’t like. so it was this huge rivalry between me and jake and ugh. i wanted to hit him right in his big mouth...simmmer............
I got caught cheating 2nd hour on the final exam….greaaat.
third hour I got a c on my script. A friggen c. I worked forever on that but eh.. oh well.
Fourth hour I brought my speech, I came prepared ( my speech was about froot loops )and I even brought a visual. But of course he never called on me. I had my hand raised I even asked if I could go first. But no. why would I go first. So frustrating.
Then fifth hour im barely at a c which isn’t good at all. My mom finds out and shes going to flip.
And now im here where I have absolutely nothing to do. I want to go home and take a really really long bubble bath to calm myself. That sounds wonderful.

Last night was ok. Yesterday was a mess. I came home from school and went to sleep. Just passed out watching cartoons with my little sister (Allison). I woke up at around 7 (pm) to a phone call from dan telling me that he wont be coming over.So what do i do? ch.. I went back to sleep and he called me about ….ehh 10 where we talked for maybe half hour about just stupid stuff. He was playing bejewled and I was just listening … but its not that that’s even important. He told me he was going to bed and I told him I wanted to talk then he was sad cos he was missing his show but oh well he got over that real fast. We talked about absolutely nothing at all and I absolutely love it. I love it how I can come home from school and the minute I walk in the door I have a phone call from him asking me how it was. *sigh* its magical. Almost as if.. its all too good to be true ! ? ! ?....

Ashely i cant believe he said that to you, i almost started to cry when you told me that......hes the sweetest...:)




Love, Brianna

3 <3 | Love

:: 2005 22 March :: 10.18 am

First of all, "josh is cool" and "cops suck" direct quotes from kevin and josh---

9 DAY STREAK- YEA BABY!

so josh has a date this saturday... with a girl yeah thats right! haha. i watched the notebook last night and it actually made my brother cry, my 21 year old brother, break down and cry. I couldnt believe it. Unbelieveable


it kinda feels like im startin to drift away from my old friends and make new friends....strange huh


I had one of those nights where i just wanted to be around someone and just be held.Just to feel appreciated. To be held, to feel loved, and i got exactly what i wanted. Dan came over when he was picking up his pizza and he stopped by then left. after that i calle dhim and just demanded that he came back and he said he'd call me back. He called back and was like please dont be mad at me blahdy blah and then hes like im getting into my car right now ill be there in a few. I was so relieved i just needed to see him. I couldnt explain it but i did.\


Do you ever just have those times where you feel like your the happiest friggen' person alive? it kinda feels like i take this all for granted but im really trying not to. Im so happy, ive never been this happy, ever. Could a smile be any more plastered to my face???

Yeah anyways ive got to go now, josh is being a weird-O


Love everyone so much * especially mrs. Understanding ;)*
AKA jenna * sigh * im so sorry...about....him.. Just take my advice and tell him your like family. It works...

BrIaNnA

1 <3 | Love

:: 2005 21 March :: 1.57 pm

This weekend was pretty cool I seen the friggin ring 2 and it was really, REALLY scary. I found myself covering my eyes and when it was silent i opened them and something popped out of the shower and i screamed..like at the top of my lungs...So embarassing. After that Jake, Richie, Heather, and Dan all came over and when we got outta th emovies drumm was there and we all just hung out. I had one of those nights where i was just being the biggest b word ever ( last menstration day) yessssss....hahaha but i was just getting on dan for every little thing he said wrong. i feel horrible now!!! oh well.

Then i just hung out with heather saturday and dan came over for alittle while. THen he left and me and my mom and heather just stayed up late talking. Same thing sunday. Not much else to say.

Jenna your such a sweetie!!! lol

All my Love,
Brianna

2 <3 | Love

:: 2005 18 March :: 1.46 pm

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWDY!

Sorry in an extremely good mood and nothing can take me down at the moment!! I really had alot of fun last night> i dont know why... but thats the most fun ive had in a long time.


First of all It was oc night..which is just always great!
and what was even greater was that we watched it over at dans house! it was cute his whole family is adoreable. His sister is hilarious and his parents are so....well his moms a doll and his dad.... i havent quite decided yet on his dad. But after the oc we started finishing his room *we started cleaning it before the show* yeah it was aweful. But just going through someobdys room really says alot about a person. I never really took time to think about it cos dans in my room like ever friggin day and ive only been at his house so many times! we went through his verision of " memory lane" some of the things upset me but then again i had my own things hidden in my closet and under my bed. He told me he would get rid of it but i dont want him to. I dont want to get rid of my letters and pictures of ex boyfriends...(except steve which is already taken care of) yep. that night i had a bon fire! lol But it just saddens me when he pulls them out *photos and such* and just stares. Its like hes keeping those cos hes not quite ready to get rid of them. And hes not ready to remove her from his life. I got rid of everything of steves. EVERYTHING except his one senior picture. Isnt that nuts>???

Its strange. Dan doesnt like going to the movies, or even like scary movies. Before he came home he called me to tell me that he seen a preview for the ring 2. Right then and there he said he wants to take me to go see it and blahdy blah.... Idk its just alittle strange ya know?

Theres so much that is going on in my life. Sometiems i start feeling sorry for myself and then i wind up getting mad because i know theres someone out there who has it worse then me. I start feeling mad and upset for that someone that i dont even know who they are or whats going on in their life..Is this Normal?? am i normal? lol dont answer that.


I JUST NEED A SAIN PERSON TO TELL ME THAT IM NOT CRAZY!!!!

That'd be peachy.

1 <3 | Love

:: 2005 17 March :: 2.19 pm

Wow, i heard something really weird today. can you really be too close to another person? I dont see it, but hey...ya never know. I am going crazy. I really cant stand anybody at this friggin school. With the rumors, the backstabbing, the betrayal....who are my real friends??/ is there such thing as a true friend?

Its so hard to trust right now. I just need you here right now :'(

2 <3 | Love

:: 2005 17 March :: 10.06 am

Hey ya'll,
what a great day. Better then yesterday anyways. The only thing that keeps me kickin is tonight.

OC NIGHT BABY!!!!

Yesterday was really the worst day of my life. I needed you here, i really, REALLY needed you here. But you werent here. You werent here until like 6. the worst day ever evolved from the worst night of sleep ever.

now that thats out of my system. I hate it when i have nightmares. I woke up tuesday night in a cold sweat and tears were in my eyes it was just that horrible of a dream. Aweful.

I really think that i hate all teachers . (except h) its retarted. When a girl has gotta go to the bathroom, THEY GOTTA GO!!! and mr f-in reed....of course was like no, meap testing you can hold it. All i said was excuse me and boom. booted out. ugh....stupid teachers....

Drumm was over for friggin ever yesterday. Everybody had court from that little get together at my house and it went swell. Nobody got jail time, just alotta fines, alotta community service, alotta aa meetings, and a whole lotta pissy campers. Anyways. I really wanted to go to that basketball game last night so if anybody went please post and tell me how it went!! I was stuck at home forced to watch american idol......

i wonder ....nahh nevermind

So, i talked to my dad....and....i guess its pretty serious. lol wow thats an inside joke, not that my dad might be dying. but the pretty serious thing...geez. sorry. anyways. its pretty serious, he called me crying yesterday and begged me for my forgiveness. He's my dad what am i supposed to do turn him away? i was the daddys girl my whole life until last year. Then it all went downhill.... I honeslty have no respect for him. None what-so-ever. But he is my dad..or my sperm doner, whichever you prefer. Idk ....somebody leave me some help...a ring on the cell would be nice too... it feel slike i have no friends anymore. Besides...dan and heather. Thats it. oh and drumm...sometimes. meh. idk heres the number....i need help
-
835-7116

Beenie

3 <3 | Love