Life Is An Ever Changing Road

:: 2006 4 May :: 8.27am

Today, I have my last exam.

Then I will be done with my first year of college.

Wow.

:: 2006 4 May :: 4.02am

Joe With Awesome Hair
Joe with the greatest hair on record

2 laughs | smile

upchuck

:: 2006 4 May :: 12.29am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Ballad of Curtis Lowe" - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Being tired
I don't know what it is anymore. This week I have ben so extremely tired. It may be recovering from Saturday night still, but I doubt it.

It was nice to let loose on Saturday night. It had been awhile. It's nice to go out, have some fun with some friends and not have to worry about anything. To know that everything is going to be taken care of and what tomorrow brings will just have to wait. That's part of what I feel that I will miss this summer that I had last summer. I discovered a different part of me last summer. The part that was mulled in a three month stretch of depression, but also someone who would show his pain, and wasn't afraid to act out. Someone who didn't have to be absolutely perfect all the time.

I guess that's the way I feel now. That I have to be perfect all the time. I didn't last summer. I didn't have all these concerns that I have now. All I had to worry about was trying to keep my mind off of what was giong on with Kim, what time I was playing that weekend, and making it to softball practice on time. I had class too, but it wasn't until after much of the summer had passed. Now, I feel like I have to be perfect, and that is going to lead to the inevitable crash that I experience because I don't feel like I'm doing anything good enough.

I've gotten much better about those times. They happen every so often and Ijust feel like it's coming. It's going to be one of those days that I just breakdown, cry myself to sleep, and then feel better afterwards. But the it just feels like the balance isn't there anymore. I had to miss a softball game today, for the first time in two years. I'm having serious doubts about my ability to go back to school after taking a semester off. Last summer, school was such a big part of redifining who I was. It was something that I drew confidence from. I hope it is now too. I just worry aobut it because there are other things I have to support me now. I guess I'll figure it all out and ina few days it won't be confusing anymore. I just wish it didn't have to be confusing in the first place.

P.s. I heard a rumor about a certain ex-girlfriend of mind trying out at a certain place's amateur night. Not sure if it's entirely true, but I definitely wouldn't doubt it.

skife

:: 2006 3 May :: 5.43pm

i like working at meijer alot, easiest job i have ever done.
and they gave me this cool ass pricing gun, i already took it apart, and i'm thinking about painting it chevy orange.

angel_bob

:: 2006 2 May :: 9.45pm

The man behind Neutral Milk Hotel, Jeff Mangum, is a genius.

Pedro the Lion is also a genius. You've got to admit that the rhythm and timing of Rapture perfectly captures sex.

:: 2006 2 May :: 8.37pm

I feel inadequate.

:: 2006 2 May :: 5.44pm

EDIT: I'm an idiot...

Hello, let me introduce you to
The characters in the show
One says yes, one says no
Decide - which voice in your head you can keep alive

Even in madness, I know you still believe
Paint me your canvas so I become
What you could never be

I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
Brand my soul and call me a liar
I dare you to tell me to walk through the fire
I dare you to tell me
I dare you to

*cough* *cough* *sneeze* *cough* *sneeze* cough*
^imagine that for the last five hours...

ugh.

:: 2006 2 May :: 5.33pm

This guy on myspace sent me a message the other day, asking if i own a yellow cavalier and if mike and i are still together.. And that he wants to see us again real soon. Mike and I don't know this guy, at all. We don't know a guy named Matt that lives in greenville..

Today he sent me a message that said he was hopnig him and i could have conversation other than on the computer and that if im interested to let him know and he'll let me know how to get ahold of him..

Talk about a creep.

4 laughs | smile

m&ms487

:: 2006 2 May :: 4.29pm

I took the ap statistics test today. Three hours of exciting fun with my space shuttle. Woot.

It was absolutely horrific.

I don't understand what is wrong with me. I feel the need to hide under the covers and eat chicken noodle soup. Interesting.

michelle

:: 2006 2 May :: 2.06am

everyone add for msn im my email

joeydomina@gmail.com

skife

:: 2006 1 May :: 11.29pm

beth loves me.
and
I love her.

:: 2006 1 May :: 10.49pm

So everything is back to normal.
We are incredibly happy.
I love it.
I love him.
We had a long discussion today.
Which we will finish tomorrow.
And I truly love him.

There was a reason for this entry, but now I do not remember its purpose. Ah well.

angel_bob

:: 2006 1 May :: 10.00pm

I want to drive my car.

3 laughs | smile

:: 2006 1 May :: 1.15pm

So after a night of sleeping on my bathroom floor, and fighting through text messages, I wake up with the worst back ache.
How could he possibly think that I don't love him.
Ugh.

:: 2006 30 April :: 10.09pm

I managed to sleep my day away, and wake up still tired.
Go me.
Still no kitten.

m&ms487

:: 2006 30 April :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: enraged

I think i lost my fucking bioethics test that I didn't remember I had due tomorrow. Fuck.

I had the bitchiest lady at work today. She actually made me cry. I had to go to the manager's office and sit down for a few minutes because she verbally attacked me. I don't normally get that upset, sure I have people who I want to strangle, but for some reason this lady just made it so fucking personal. I was trying to tell her that she was wrong in the nicest way possible and she was like "don't you shake your head at me like that" and "You people owe me for my time fixing your mistakes" and "don't tell me that I'm wrong, you're wrong, I'm not wrong, I deserve a twenty five dollar gift card, and that's what you need to give to me to make me happy".

And of course my manager gave it to her. It was all because she was "overcharged" on a twenty four pack of water. Well, the upc on her water and the upc on the receipt didn't match, meaning there was no fucking way it was the same product. NO WAY IN HELL can that happen. Well she wanted not only the price that it was marked, but the "sale" price from last week. Okay, I can live with that, it's like fucking five dollars, and she wanted a gift card, okay, a little much, but whatever, and then when I wouldn't give her the michigan scanning award (if a product is marked lower than what it rings up at the register you get the difference back plus ten times the amount UP TO FIVE DOLLARS) because the fucking upc didn't match the upc on the receipt, which it has to to give the award, she wanted to be upgraded from a ten dollar gift card to a fucking twenty five dollar gift card. Which, my manager did of course. There wasn't even a "thank you for your fucking help". Nope. Not at all.

I haven't cried because of a customer since the first day I worked at the service desk.

Whatever.

Fucking bitch, and she wasn't even fucking right.

:: 2006 30 April :: 5.54pm

The Dumbing Down of Love by Frou Frou was played on this past week's episode of Bones.

It made me giddy with recognition tingles.

That is a good song.

I love you all.

2 laughs | smile

:: 2006 30 April :: 4.04pm

I think I'm catching a cold, which really sucks.

Oh well, I'll have a new phone to keep my mind off it.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

m&ms487

:: 2006 30 April :: 12.15am
:: Mood: annoyed

Last night was nothing that I expected it to be. Prom was fairly lame, I had a much better time getting ready than at the dance itself. I love Josh so much, he's so much fun. I think he's the male version of Jessie; scary, I know.

So this time it wasn't just about it, it was about being together.

If I could only mix the cola and the grenadine together, I'd have the perfect cherry coke, but no one makes them the way I like them anymore. They use to when I was little. It's just not as good as it use to be, I guess.

I loved my hair last night. I even slept with it in and it stayed, but I took it out in the morning before I went to pick up summer. I had a shit load of bobby pins in my hair. Went to flute choir this morning on four hours of sleep. Took a nap this afternoon, and now I can't go to sleep. I feel like a restless zombie, my whole body is on a fucked up schedule. I have to work tomorrow, and I have a ton of homework just waiting for me to start on it. I don't want to start on it.

I've put in four good years. Time for a break.

70billion

:: 2006 29 April :: 10.14pm
:: Music: Mewithoutyou-January 1979

bsc?

5 laughs | smile

:: 2006 29 April :: 1.01pm

I was going insane without a cellphone.

So... I ordered a prepaid, but it doesn't seem like the regular prepaid I was dealing with. See, they take $50 a month out of my checking account. And with that, I get 400 anytime minutes, .10 text messaging, and unlimited nights and weekends. The only drawback is that I had to order a new phone. So, I should be getting that within the next week. Finally! I'll post my number when I get it, because I got a new number.

:: 2006 29 April :: 10.55am

So, my mom didn't realize it was a sleep-in so it looks like I'm not going.

angel_bob

:: 2006 29 April :: 10.03am

I don't know how much of you know about the "nightwalkers," the tens of thousands of children in Uganda who "fear abduction by the Lord's Resistance Army, leave their villages every day to seek refuge in town before nightfall."

There's a nationwide sleep-in protest planned for today and one of the locations is here in Grand Rapids.

Hannah and I are going, so if you want to come too, call me before 6 tonight. Here are the details. They tell you what to bring and stuff.

Some people are walking from GVSU/Allendale to this thing and, rumor has it, some people are walking from Hope/Holland too. The goal is to walk at least a mile so you're commuting (a little bit) like the nightwalkers. I think the people I'm meeting up with (Emily) are going to walk from Aquinas.

Oh, it's at Rosa Park's Circle, I don't think I mentioned that.

If you want to come, call me before 6 tonight.

I love you all.

3 laughs | smile

:: 2006 29 April :: 2.06am

Pics From Prom
Joe And Syd At Prom

Jess And I Infront

Jess and I Close

Oh It's Syd

6 laughs | smile

:: 2006 29 April :: 12.44am
:: Mood: *in the you can kiss my ass kind of mood*
:: Music: *If you leave me now - Chicago*

*a continuation to my endless rant, call my life*
I don't know what it is, but songs by Chicago, make me want to sing. Extremely loud.

It's hard for me to say I'm sorry, and If you leave me now.

A lot like love is one of my favorite movies. I've seen it like 42 times in the last 3 weeks.

I finally caved in and went to the grocery store and bought some food. Of course I just had to get some Orange Hi-C. It's the best beverage ever. And I was in the aisle that has soup, and I was getting chicken noodle.. And there is like 8 different kinds. Theres superhero shaped noodles, dora the explorer, alphabet, circles, and like 3 other kinds.. besides the regular noodles.. Crazy.

I don't understand it. My boobs are shrinking, yet my stomach is getting bigger. I eat too much fast food (Taco Bell).

I went to Belding, Cedar Springs, and Sheridan today.

I really really really really really really really really really really want a kitten. So that I can name it Otis. Even if it's a girl. Just kidding. Otis is the name of my shark.

Will someone find me a kitten? Please?

I hate Alltel. They are stupid crack whore bitches. It's going to cost like 165 bucks to get my phone fixed. But my phone is still under warranty. For 165 bucks, I might as well get a newer and better phone. However, they tell me that I cannot purchase a new/different phone until 90 days before my 2 year contract is up. And being that I got my phone in July 2005, I am no-where near that. I am getting a new phone damnit. They can kiss my ass for all I fucking care. I will get a new phone..

And if that is Mike that just buzzed me, he's retarded because he has my spare keys.. fuck tart..

:: 2006 29 April :: 12.30am

prom
well all prom is finally over and that means that its not long till my babe graduates. i am gonna get pics up on here as soon as i can and so you can all see how leet i looked in my tux. my babe looked fantastic and i couldnt keep my eyes off her. ahhh she is the love of my life

Tux

:: 2006 28 April :: 5.24pm

It's Friday!

Today my sister has her choir dinner theatre. I'm excited. She said the choreography is horrid so I'm looking forward to laughing with her. Or at her. Ha ha. She's a good sport.

I am hot. Wink wink, nudge nudge. It is very warm and beautiful outside. I am excited for spring. However, I am quite distraught because all the trees in my yard are the only kind of trees that don't have leaves on them right now.

The kids who're in France right now are coming back on the 28th of May. So it looks like I will be gone for 5 months. I'm going to France! Sometimes I forget all about it and it just surprises me. I am scared shitless. I will be GOING TO SCHOOL in a FOREIGN COUNTRY where all the classes will be taught in a language OTHER THAN THE ONE I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING SINCE BIRTH and one that I have FIVE YEARS of experience in. Yeah, I'm freaked out.

Lalalala.

I have exams next week and then I am done with my first year of college. Excitement!

I love you all.

P.S. Jessa, now I see what you mean about his family. She's being a poopyhead and you should just ~~kill~~ kick her. I was going to leave her a nasty message but that wouldn't be nice. I'm trying to resist the temptation.

3 laughs | smile

:: 2006 28 April :: 1.51pm

I woke up today and Mike wasn't next to me.
I started freaking out because he was there when I went to sleep.
Next thing I know, my phone is ringing and its him.
It was like he knew that I had just woke up and wondered where he was and that i hadn't gotten out of bed yet.
And then he told me to go look at my computer screen.
There was a note that said "Hey beautiful, I didn't want to wake you. I went to go get the part for my truck so I can fix it. I will be back later. I miss you"
He makes me so happy.
And I love him more everyday.

:: 2006 28 April :: 1.27pm

What a night.

And Joe is most definitely insane.

And check my xanga for a more in-depth post about last night, as soon as I write it.