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2005 16 August :: 12.55 am
just got home from micahs.... and before that we just got home from mackinaw or mackinac or whatever it is.
it was nice to get away for a little bit.
thats really all i've got for right now. im listening to the night noises outside and its really calming.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 12 August :: 12.31 pm
another perfect morning. except this time i woke up with him here.. he didnt wake me up when he got here.
last night after i got out of work we went back to his house and fell asleep around 11.. then at about 2 we woke up and it was pouring rain and there was lightning and thunder and darkness... its moments like that where we're so connected to eachother, even in silence... that make me realize how fortunate we are to have found eachother.
i came home around 4, fell asleep thinking about us, and woke up with the only other person that has ever fully completed that simple 2 letter word.
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 8 August :: 10.47 am
keegan just left for work, i suppose i should do something productive like mow the lawn.... i'll just wait for him to do it! :)
my senior pictures went pretty good. we were there for 3 and a half hours and he's still not done. so tuesday we're going to the beach, and then we still have set up another indoor session. and yesterday i came to the realization that my cheeks are entirely to fat. i really really dont like them. i told my mom that im gonna get lyposuction done on my cheeks.. laughs... its true.
we went to see keegan at work last night.... simply HAD to give him a hard time. he's a good waitor. my cousin audra was working too.. so she sat down with us for quite a while... said she was gonna have it out with keegan cuz he took her family and we should have been sitting in HER section. giggles* audra said i was the talk of server alley last night..... ohhhhh yeah.
when he got out of work we went and got life and guess who... gotta love the classics. what nerds we are.
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 7 August :: 9.28 am
yesterday was one of the best days this whole summer.
we had our grand haven parade... and let me tell ya, it was HUGE! but it was so much fun before hand because we got to walk around and hand out massive ammounts of red flannel buttons to the other floats and there are some CRAZY people! one of the floats was a huge coast guard boat, and all the queens and court members that were around all got up onto the boat with the coast gaurd men..... *mmmm* and got a very lovely picture taken with all the guns on the boat.... i dont know it was just sooo fun. and the parade itself was huge... at one point one of the guys from WGVU jumped on our float with his camera crew and asked me all these questions...... i was like woohu! *giggles.
my mom and keegan made it to the parade just in time, they werent even there for 10 minutes when my float went by. after the parade we went to my uncle mark and aunt pattys (me, my mom, keegan and shelby) and then we came back into cedar.. by the way.. i have MASTERED the art of changing in the car. its pretty difficult to change out of those red flannel dress and all the stuff with it without flashing all the other cars..... laughs* anyways..... we came back here to freshin up and all that good stuff.. then me and keegan went over to his house for jennys shower.. jenny is keegans cousin, and she's marrying my cousin ben... they've been together since the 8th grade... it was kind of odd being at keegans house for a bridal shower for my cousins fiance... a little ironic. but it was so cool, cuz my aunt susie was there... so i was in like my second home, eating really good food talking to my OWN family! te he he..... but NO this does not make us related... and besides he's adopted... mwah ha ha ha.
after the shower me keegan and emma went back to my house to pick up shelby (she's four) and the 4 of us went to chucky cheese. we got 160 tokens... holy cow! it was sooooo much fun. one of the funnest things we've done in the summer! *laughs.. we're such nerds... but it was cool because it was me and keegan and our sisters. it was sweet and all that jazz..... :)
OH yeah... and between the four of us shelby had 1102 tickets to choose stuff with.... *shakes head. its funny cuz we spent 30 dollars on tokens for probably 5 dollars worth of stuff..... oh well, we got good pictures and those are "priceless" *laughs...... OH the cornyness.
i have my senior pictures today.... they BETTER still be today. they got reschedualed last time. im excited.. im super tan right now. well... i think anyways *shrugs.
yancy didnt make it out to grand haven yesterday.... the traffic was to bad, he never would have made it.... ahh well.
when we left chucky cheese we went to target and i bough shelby this disney princess game... well the setup took forever, so me, shelby, my mom and keegan were up till midnight because she HAD to play it before she went to sleep. she's so cute.
alright, i've babbled on enough. i dont like writing long descriptive entires.. AND i dont like reading them... but whatever
have a good day loves.
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 3 August :: 11.53 pm
i went with keegan down to blues tonight... its such an exciting atmosphere... *giggles.
im never down town.... but TONIGHT... oh man, tonight we got REAL fresh squeezed lemonade, i witnessed hours of incredible break dancing, and a big fat girl and her gang of trailor trash started some drama with this awesome girl that can breakdance.. i mean comon.. if i was fat and ugly and "on fucking probation" i wouldnt be starting something with a girl who has every breakdancer on the floor telling these nasty girls to go home..... bahh. some people make me sick! i mean there were little kids around... and keegan told them that and they were like "fuck the little kids" im thinkin "who the hell is you!" (te he... chris rock stand up is so funny) but anyways.. that was about it. keegans gonna teach me to break dance... *laughs.... i'll run this shit. *cheezy music plays..... "do do do do do do do, jump on it, jump on it" gotta love that song......
then after we left there we stopped over to gorters house played some pool which we lost terribly to him and taylor..... oh and all the gorter drama... if you dont know ryan and arent affiliated with him.. leave it alone. its none of your buisness... i dont see why it matters so much.
idiots.
anyways... long day... gotta call my favorite asian since its an early night for us. usually i wouldnt be home for another couple hours.... this sucks... but its all good. sometimes sleep is good.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 25 July :: 10.13 pm
im on keegans laptop... hes in the shower... oh the damage i could do right now... mwah ha ha.
today we had our red flannel pictures done at aspen... its so sad because it makes the end seem so final. the truth is, it'll never end. the memories, and friendship, and sisterhood will never fully go away. and i'll always look back at this past year and be in awe of the amazing experience the 5 of us had.
i've been gathering all my senior picture clothes. greg.... one of the photographers told me to bring my whole closet... i told him he shouldnt have said that! i hope they turn out good... if any of you still need to get your pictures done, or know anybody who's looking to get professional pics done like wedding, family, whatever... let me know so i can get them some discouts at studio 630.
"yesterday wasnt good"
hmph speak for yourself.
anyways.... off i go... keegans back.
stacy i love you. i stopped in to see you.. and ended up talking to your parents for like 10 minutes... i've missed them. and your house. and your wonderful drawer. and the spray butter on the pop corn. and those goofy little hampster things. and the dead bunny. and sleeping out on your tent until it started raining. and porch communicating. and craving arbys late at night at wonderfully having a way to get it. and sitting around your house all day waiting for SOMEONE to bring us to the mall. but most of all... i just miss you. and the long talks we always seem to have. DB4L... i am ALWAYS here whenever you need me ok? you have my number and i have a wonderful ringtone for you on my cell phone. i wanna HEAR it damn it! lets get together soon. with or without the boys.... lets just get together!
ok... hamburgers are calling my name... keegan made them for me with one arm.. poor doll.
night.
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 15 July :: 7.27 pm
trouble in paradise? not even close.
its so nice being able to handle our arguments as adults... there is NOTHING we cant work through, because thats just how we are. i fight with him like he's my brother... most of the time its only because i care so much about the decisions he makes, and he guards and protects me like a little sister... and from time to time gives me a little tough love so i can figure out on my own what exactly it is that i want... but more than that we're best friends.. which keeps everything running soooo smoothly. only THEN can i say we're dating... because everything else comes first. hes my best friend before anything... and thats such an amazing thing.
central air is a beautiful thing.
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 13 July :: 11.56 am
i'm meeting some more of my family on saturday... what an odd thing to say..... seems to me its been an overdue meeting.. but whatever, ya gotta start somewhere.
alyssas comming over after work tonight... we're gonna be all girly and figure out what i should where for my senior pictures... she was a model last for the photography place that i'm gonna be modeling for.. i go in saturday morning to get all the information... alyssa said she saved hundreds on her senior pictures, so im really excited.
i cant go to blues cuz i have to work, and theres no way im gonna drive down there and get lost downtown and then walk by myself to where they break dance..... but next wednesday....
i really need to concentrate on losing some of the roundness of my face, and belly, and legs.... .blahhhh... now isnt the time for a self-meltdown. ahh well... people always tell me how cute my cheeks are.. maybe i should start believing them... riiight.
it kindof sucks to know that she left me in the dark about this... i dont understand her. things used to be..... well hmmm, i shouldnt get into it.. because obviously things will never be the same, we will never be us again, and sometime in our far future, occasional cards at christmas will recap some of the memories that we'll neglect to recall otherwise.
i got my hair highlighted... nobody ever takes my advice.. but seriously go to Colleen at Xscape salon in rockford, she's the only person i'll go to for my hair and its SUPER affordable. i get two colors done in my hair all throughout.. not just on top and it only costs me about 45-50 dollars... and my hair is almost as long as my back... GO THERE!
yay for keegan getting a job at logans! im so excited for him.. now he works at our restaurant! woohu!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 12 July :: 2.32 am
me and keegan had a bonfire tonight... just the two of us.
we ran into town and got stuff to make smores, and it was dark so we had the whole "camping" experience goin on.... it was wonderfull.
i do believe that im becomming obsessed with pigs in a blanket.. keegans mom makes them all the time *for me...te he he* and im gonna become the name of the little piggys... or perhaps just that.. a little piggy. *giggles and wrinkles nose up all cute-like
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 9 July :: 11.22 am
im getting my hair highlighted today... i went tanning last night..... im like geeeeze whats getting in to me!?
must be the senior pictures.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 8 July :: 2.22 pm
we got alot accomplished today.
im watching shelby... on top of everything else....
buuutttt..... keegan came over this morning and the three of us watched scooby doo... and then he mowed our front yard.. which is a PRETTY big front yard, i cleaned my room and bathroom, organized my red flannel box, made lunch on the grill, and keegan just brought our screen door in to be fixed... now i have to drop shelby off at her babysitters, go to work, and then tan so i can be nice and dark for my senior pictures..
ahh... we're almost seniors....
i think i have this disease where i cant stop spending money at abercrombie and hollister... its terrible... 100 dollars on 3 shirts... im sure thats not healthy!
mmm... but they DO look good.
well... i should probably clean up. im lookin pretty scary right about now.......
ohhhhh... me and keegan went to the lakes mall yesterday and then to grand haven.. it was nice. the sun felt so good... so what if the water was to cold and even kind of hurt.... it was a good day.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 7 July :: 12.37 am
i went to blues tonight after my modeling consultation... it was pretty cool. they guys from 61syx are pretty awesome.. i still get nervous when keegan does flips.. esp when its on concrete and he's tryin some for the first time... but dammnn is it so cool!
i just got home... im grounded right now... so i guess my moms definition of grounded must be "be home by midnight" we'll have to slowly work back up to 2-3 in the next few days... laughs* being grounded isnt half bad.... i think i can spare a couple of hours for a few days... no longer then that though... hmph.
my cell's been dead for like a week..i just havent gotten around to charging it... and damn.. i should charge my camera cuz we're going to the beach tomorrow.... mmmmm... looks at complicated bateries and such..... nawww not complicated, more like "takes effort" and im tired so NO... hmph.... .im such a baby.
keegan had his interview at Logans today.... we're in there at LEAST 2-3 times a week, so since he's looking for a waitor job... figured HEY why not work at our resturant?! i say OURS because im sure if it wasnt for our frequent visits.. they would be out of business.. FER sure.
mmmm keegans dad made us steak today.... i hadnt had steak in a LONG time... then me, emma, and his dad played trivial pursuit... it was fun. keegan wouldnt play.... jerk.
i can see emma and me becomming really close... we're already pretty close and i KNOW she likes me alot.. his whole family does... sounds cliche, but his house is really like my second home. his mom even labled a part of his room "Erika Dawns" lol.... and then grouped all my stuff there... it was cute. i had kind of a dissapointment today, so right after i called my mom, i called keegans mom.... i just think thats so coooooool! ugrahh! i love them all... except keegan *winks....
i love how everyone is always like... you're so in love, or something like that... and we're like nooooo we're not.. not yet anyways. because its true. we arent... why rush something thats already so beautifull? but i sure am loving every second of falling in love with that boy.
night angels....
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 4 July :: 12.26 am
oh goodness...
boys and their need to "fix" everything..
bobby, bobby, bobby
im so fortunate to know him. both him and vince, its crazy... because if i had never met keegan, i wouldnt have met these two amazing people.... and even though i've only known them for about as long as i've known keegan.... i feel a need to protect them because i love them and they love me and its like they're my big brothers. this big wonderful protective circle... its beautifull.
we're gong to watch fireworks in grand rapids tomorrow... getting away from sandlake... blahhhh. im excited, i've never seen grand rapids fireworks, AND this is my first fourth of july with someone... i've seen fireworks with ex-boyfriends, not on the fourth though cuz i was in Disney World... and keegan doesnt remember ever spending the fourth with anyone... so this counts as his first too... the way we look at things... if you look back and either dont remember or realize an experience was nothing like the ones we share together... then they dont really count.. because they lack in comparison.. so much that they dont exist. we both have pasts, we both have fairly long relationships under our belts, and we can BOTH happily say that THIS is our first relationship.... because nothing else compares. its just an amazing feeling.... i thought i felt this way once..... but the way i feel when we're together is mind blowing.... it totally replaces everything i ever felt. i mean yeah.. i thought i was in love once.... but the way i feel when im with keegan is so much stronger then i EVER felt... and we're not even in love yet! its a beautiful beautiful thing.....
*sighs......
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 3 July :: 2.20 am
me and keegan saw bewitched tonight... it was pretty good. i love magic. then after that me, emma and keegan went into sandlake.. this is at about 10:30 im guessing... we had more fun on the carride there then we did at the carnival.. the way we see it... the trashy people hang out at the carnival.. the COOL people make a few appearences and then leave.... laughs* you can only walk by so many girls in belly shirts, bleached blonde hair, and nose rings before you've had enough to vomit. ughhh.. laughs.
we were jammin though... DMX.. ohhh yeahhh.... i'd say when it comes to dancin.. i give keegan a run for his money... its true. *giggles.
we listened to this chris rock comedy thing on keegans ipod yesterday, it was like an hour and a half long.. .sooooo funny.
yeah... keegan keegan keegan... i know.
but hey, i didnt see him for 6 days, he's my best friend, and part of me just wants to brag about how amazing my boyfriend is.
*sighs.....
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 28 June :: 8.35 pm
keegans mom is picking me up at 10 so we can go get keegan from the airport... he was supposed to be home by 4 today but his flight got delayed... so now he should be in by 11:30..... mmmmmm, darn this weather makin me wait.
yayyyy... i have a consultation with studio 630 about being one of their models... my friend alyssa was their top model last year and her pictures just turned out amazing.. im crossing my fingers..
i should probably put some clothes on.
yeah.. thats generally a good idea..........
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 26 June :: 11.35 pm
he never hangs up first....
fucking.. ahrl;akejrl;kj.ac....
on a brighter note, im hanging out with matt tomorrow... i've misssed him.. he's always on the road with his band. it'll be nice to sit down, have some cofee, and catch up.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 26 June :: 7.08 pm
me and my mom and shelby went to traverse city last night... that was fun. its nice spending time with my family... we havent really done that in awhile.
i miss keegan... i hate massachusetts.
the yearbook thing was awesome... im so sad this was my last year going.. but im almost sure my experience with yearbooks wont be over this year.... awwww... i love kourtney too.. she's so cute!
hmmm maybe i'll call emma and see if she wants to see a movie... just cant get enough of the loye family! laughs* we were planning on seeing the sisterhood of pants movie or whatever... might as well see it tonight...
alright... goodnight dolls.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 22 June :: 8.03 pm
i leave for my yearbook workshop tomorrow morning... and then keegan leaves friday morning for massachusetts on a business trip for lazer skate... so im not gonna see him for 6 days.... call me pathetic.. but that'll be the longest i've gone without him.... :(
but asides from that.. we'll do fine.. cuz even though we SOUND pathetic, we're not... and unlike alot of couples, we're perfectly capable of not seeing eachother for a couple of days... i'll be here when he gets back, he'll come over to my house, kiss my forehead... and all will be well.
i got 40 dollars worth of new makeup yesterday... im very excited... i was gonna go to blues at the mall tonight.... but ended up not, and still put all my make up on... its lovely.... *smiles.
the saying... "all dressed up and nowhere to go" that sucks.... but at least every time i look in the mirror im like..... awwww.
i fell in love with an A&F polo yesterday... but it was 40 dollars... sometime i'll get it... keegan got his first polo yesterday... mmmmm i could just bite him he looks so good. *thinks about it...... he's SO fine... ALL the time.
alright... well im bored now.
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 17 June :: 2.30 am
keegans car is so nice :)
no more crappy red one... woot woot
so tonight was good, he called me paranoid... whatever.
i think i feel better now though.
i dont like it at all.... *totally different subject* it just puts these terrible images in my mind because the other night i had a break down about it... i wish ______ would just move far far away and i would never ever have to think about what happend ever again... now that i know details... ugh, i could just be sick. i hate that part of him.
whatever right... cant change it eh? deal with it and move on erika, well its not that easy.
im really nervous for next year... for many different reasons.
i need to become dependent on myself more... i depend to much on my mom and keegan to keep me strong. why cant i just hold myself together... for gosh-sakes, i didnt even want to go to the dentist alone today (which i did end up going alone... yay for me) im afraid of needles, so i just wanted someone to comfort me... but i held my own today.. nobody was there to hold my hand or wait for an hour in the waiting room..... wait, now im kind of depressed.... step backwards erika, step backwards. hmmm, not good.
tomorrow is keegans performance at daybreak, i suppose i can brag him up a little..... they're getting paid 200 dollars to dance for 2 minutes... that 50 dollars for each of them for a mere 2 minutes.... thats crazy! but so awesome..... IHOP here we come! the performance is at 8:30... so we have an early rise day tomorrow... haha... i'll be getting up at DAYBREAK... mwah ha ha..... wow, teenage girls should not try to be corny and witty this late at night.
i've suddenly run out of things to say....
*crosses fingers..... (doesnt concern you why...)
*crosses them again.
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 14 June :: 3.23 pm
keegans mom just bought me a bike..... *laughs.
for my birthday, so me and keegan can ride bikes together... awww, she loves me! *smiles.... i love that woman..
ahh.. i cant belive she just bought me a bike!!!! hehehe..... im so happy! i havent had a bike since i was like 11.... now i can leave keegan in the dust... since he's to cool to get a normal bike and will be stuck on his little "trickster" pshhh... whatever doll, you're goin down... thats right.....
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 14 June :: 2.12 am
*giggles
i find it funny when girls who are having sex get all defensive about "stupid girls" who get themselves pregnant...
yeah.. that kind of makes you one of them
if you're mature enough to have sex, protected OR unprotected then you sure as hell better be mature enough to have a kid... what a stupid statement.
here... quick lesson.....
SEX. LEADS. TO. CHILDBIRTH.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 14 June :: 1.55 am
i spent the night at alyssas last night... we talked a lot... and its nice to have a friend that actually wants to hear about my life and who actually cares whats going on and how im handeling things.... because those kinds of friends are very limited... im gonna say 2-3 tops... no counting keegan.
tonight after i got out of work, me and keegan took pats paddle boat out on lime lake (his moms boyfriend) and chased a super big bird all over it... i think he called it a herrid or a harrend... same difference... we're just talking a BIG bird... and we saw turtles... i named one myrtle.... myrtle the turtle... giggles.... oh and we rode those old school scooters down to pats too.... lol..... i was one of those deprived children who never had one... it was fun.. we were like little kids.... then we rode them back to his house, and lauren matthews was over with emma... basically i spent more time with lauren then keegan.... *shakes fist at him..... i love those girls though... we were running around in the dark, and we EVEN climbed a tree... thats right.. i dont believe there are any trees to climb on any stupid computer.... *shakes fist at him again.... long story short: i'd rather not go into it! but yay im so glad i love emma and she loves me :)
(and lauren too..... she's a cutie too..... awww.. i felt like one of the girls tonight.... why dont high schoolers climb trees and play hide and seek in the dark anymore? stupid big kids...)
yesterday me and keegan met bobby at res life in grandville... it was pretty sweet.. the ground floor (the youth room.. if thats what you wanna call it) was incredible... we're talking INCREDIBLE.... the only thing is... the drive would kill us... all the gas it would take to get down there.....
keegans birthday went really good.. i was there all day, i wish i could fully explain the day... but you wouldnt get it, and i probably shouldnt.. but it was really good.. close to perfect...
we're getting air conditioning tomorrow... there IS a god who reigns in heaven...! we've been dyin over here....
i think thats all i got....
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 11 June :: 4.59 pm
awww.. its my keegans birthday...
and awww... he's standing right behind me....
*giggles...
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 9 June :: 11.22 pm
we went to the beach today.... im fried.
that rarely ever happends....
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 7 June :: 11.24 pm
we just watched this interview with brad pitt and the work he's doing in africa... i mean yeah thats great... but you have to BE rich to help like that. yeah he's doing amazing things over there, but that still doesnt change the fact that just ONE of his outfits costs enough to feed an entire village over there.
i dont know...
but one thing i DO know is im getting fat... and i dont mean the PH kind.... i mean the gross disgusting go on a diet fat. i hate watching tv and seeing all the perfect stomachs... screw them and their perfect stomachs.. im a busy teenager who works almost everyday and still has other responsibilities to tend to... to bad if i cant go out and run a mile in this smothering heat... its not like i can come home to a pool or air conditioning.. why would i WANT to excersize!? YEAH... thats what i'll tell myself.... its not MY fault... its the heat. Genious.
GOAL #5,095,999,999: learn to spell damn it!
WHY must bugs crawl all over the computer screen.... little idiots.. im JUST going to kill them...
im tired, and hot..... GAWD is it hot...
ok bugs.. you're goin DOWN.....
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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2005 7 June :: 12.23 am
hmmm..... meet the rest of the family?
maybe its nerves.. but to me its like i've come so far... why go further eh?
i know they want to meet me and wonder why they havent yet... but to bad, its not MY fault that havent gotten to know me the past 17 years. so im not gonna feel obligated... but then again, thats just me being a teenager, because in all reality i think i want to... alot. not for closure... for a place to start.
LOL at brandi, roni, and ashley...... you girls are to much... te he he... TEN pairs of flip flops! holllllly cow! aww, i love you girls!
hmmm... im bored with this now..
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
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